Those who want to give themselves airs of superiority use a condescending tone and jokes of the same type. You will surely find yourself dealing with haughty people at work or in your private life, so developing a strategy to manage them will be able to keep the emotions and anger they can cause at bay.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Relate to a Condescending Partner or Friend
Step 1. Give him the opportunity to calm down if you feel his reaction is related to a bigger problem
Bring up the subject a few hours later.
Step 2. Allow your partner to have a bad day
If his boss has been haughty, then he may be projecting this attitude onto you. Be understanding and try not to be selfish if you know it's not typical of your other half.
- If you feel like an email has a condescending tone, give your partner the benefit of the doubt; it is difficult to express emotions through written text.
- If your partner starts having a haughty attitude, it's best to deal with it.
Step 3. Don't answer in kind
Your first instinct might be to get defensive and use sarcasm. Try to communicate, not become a part of the problem.
Step 4. Calm the situation
If a person tries to demean you, you can eliminate the tension in the room by responding with emotions. Give your partner a chance to respond more truthfully.
- Try saying, "That's a cheap shot."
- Alternatively, try "It's hard to get back to you when you try to belittle me."
- Give the other time to respond. Don't apologize for your honesty; you just have to defend yourself.
Step 5. Do not activate patterns of negativity and revenge
Some couples use sarcasm or jokes to ease the situation. In the long run, low self-esteem and resentment can destroy a relationship.
If you see friends behaving this way, use them as an example. You can say, "I don't want us to behave like x and y." Doing so could help the partner recognize condescending tones in other people and reflect on them
Step 6. Be honest
Talk to your partner if you feel like your communication isn't the best. Explain what the repercussions could be on your relationship if you keep acting that way.
- “I have the feeling that it is not possible to communicate well in this period. I'm afraid we might say things that can't be retracted."
- “There are too many tensions at home. In my opinion they are caused by the digs we throw at each other."
- “I feel our roles have changed. It hurts when you talk to me like a parent would do with their child."
- "If you make jokes about my intelligence (way of dressing, work, and so on), I can hardly trust you."
Step 7. Allow your partner to express their feelings in a safe context
Condescension is usually the result of low self-esteem. However, listening to your friend will work better by insinuating that your partner's self-esteem is at an all-time low.
If you find that you can't talk about communication problems without losing your temper, crying or arguing, book a couple of sessions with a couple counselor
Method 2 of 2: Relate to a Colleague or Condescending Boss
Step 1. Change the subject
Try to sidetrack the haughty jokes instead of getting angry. If the person in question is trying to intimidate you, don't take the hook.
Step 2. Don't laugh if a co-worker or a snooty supervisor makes a condescending joke about another employee
Avoid bullying contexts, or very soon you will find yourself the victim of one of those unhappy jokes.
Better yet, try saying "I don't find this funny" if you feel a joke is mean or snooty. Other colleagues may support you and help you stop the problem before it gets too serious
Step 3. Meet the person in question face to face and talk about work
Sometimes condescending jokes are made within a group. Stay professional and avoid grouping at the coffee machine or going for a drink with colleagues just to avoid the temptation to make condescending jokes.
Group dynamics often cause a hierarchy to form. If you feel like you're the victim, break this pattern
Step 4. Get the person back on their attitude
If the haughty comment pattern repeats itself, disarm your co-worker with one of these techniques:
- "Hey, that was a really cheap shot, don't you think?"
- "It was a bit too personal, let's keep things friendly,"
- "If you want to talk about my job performance, I will gladly arrange a meeting."
Step 5. Ask the person to stop making those kinds of comments
Make an appointment with her and tell her that her way of communicating makes you uncomfortable. If your boss does this, wait for the annual assessment when you can talk about things that could affect your job performance.
- If he implies that you are not doing your job well or tries to boss you around, ask for a meeting with the boss to resolve communication problems. Only do this if the direct approach didn't work.
- Going to a supervisor too early may cut you off from office conversations. You certainly don't want to be seen as the one who runs to the boss to get all the problems solved, do you?
Step 6. Make an appointment with the HR department if the haughty comments start to be abusive
Do this only after trying the direct approach, and only if the person's behavior has become unbearable.
