Words are often an imprecise method of communication, and we must also rely on the tone of voice and expressiveness of the people we are talking to to fully understand the conversation. Voice and gestures are important communication tools when used correctly, and having a friendly tone of voice can make you sound kinder and more helpful, and may even help you make new friends.
Moreover, since many have a tendency to not listen carefully to many of the people we interact with, we are more likely to pay more attention to those who have a friendly tone of voice, compared to one who has a monotonous, frustrated or angry tone of voice.. With all of these benefits, it is therefore worth trying to develop a friendly tone of voice, and luckily it's an easy thing to achieve with a little practice.
Steps
Step 1. Think about the sound you think a friendly voice should have
What makes her friendly? It should inspire trust and confidence. Usually it is about speaking clearly, naturally, confidently and without being nervous. The opposite of a friendly voice is yelling, speaking too fast, muttering, being irritated. Another way to sound friendly is to speak as if the words came straight from the heart. To do this, you need to speak in a more serious, slower tone of voice, full of pauses, while trying not to simply sound crafty or too affected.
- Observe how actors and speakers manage to have a friendly voice. Think of an actor in a particular role who seemed particularly friendly to you, and pay attention to tone, speed, facial expressions, and body language. Look for online videos of these actors so you can observe their expressions and hear their voices whenever you need them.
- Also learn to be friendly. Being friendly is a complete package, and it's important to think about the whole person, and not just focus on the voice.
Step 2. Record yourself while you speak
Choose a paragraph in a book or newspaper, and record as you read, trying to speak as naturally as possible. Speak normally to get a better recording.
You can find a recorder built into all computers and phones, or you can buy one at an electronics store
Step 3. Observe yourself as you speak
Stand in front of the mirror while reading the same paragraph. Look closely at your face, focus on how your mouth moves and your expressions. What are the facial expressions that don't make you look friendly? Avoid them!
If you can also record videos, for example with a webcam, record while you talk and then watch yourself. Watch your body language and listen to your tone of voice; the whole is important to give an idea of affability
Step 4. Identify the points on which you need to improve
Listened objectively and observed in the mirror or on video. What are your first impressions of your voice? It may be surprising how different your recorded voice sounds from what you hear in your head when you speak.
Step 5. Pay attention to the most common problems
Many people have similar ideas of what an ideal voice should look like. These characteristics vary only to a small extent:
- Variable pitch. Avoid speaking monotonously, try to raise and lower the tone of voice to emphasize or reduce the emphasis of certain points of the speech. This aspect can vary from area to area, so listen to the way your friends and neighbors talk. Put some passion into what you say - try to sound enthusiastic, motivated and thrilled about what you say, especially when you compliment someone, as this will make you seem friendlier.
- Quiet tone. Nobody wants to be yelled at, so try to talk quieter than you usually do, especially when talking to someone close to you. This does not mean, however, that you have to look weak; draw the strength of the voice from within, so that you seem more confident. Voice depth is important for giving a sense of affability and confidence, so focus on developing a deep voice to avoid sounding too quiet.
- Relaxed tone. If you feel tension in your throat or chest, your voice will sound strained and hoarse, as if you have laryngitis. Relax your upper body, including shoulders, neck and abdominal muscles, and your voice will sound softer and more pleasant.
- Pauses. The need to talk without pausing and to fill in silences makes people uncomfortable. People prefer speaking with adequate pauses and not too fast; this gives the idea of security of what is said, and conveys a certain sense of authority. In addition to taking breaks, also take the time to breathe deeply to improve your speech, especially if you are feeling stressed or pressured.
- Smile: When you speak, try to put smiles in your voice. Initially try to smile and talk at the same time. Then try to figure out how to give the idea of a smile with your voice without actually smiling (sometimes it may not be appropriate to do it openly). Trying to visualize your friendliness as you speak can help. And remember to always smile when you are on the phone; whoever listens to you will perceive it.
Step 6. Practice with your new voice
Sign up and look at yourself again, and see if you did a good job of correcting the problems you identified earlier. Be careful not to overdo it; if you modify your voice too much you run the risk of sounding fake. When you've found the right voice, get plenty of exercise: read aloud, or talk to friends on the phone. Keep practicing until your new voice comes naturally to you.
If you don't notice any changes, or find it very complicated, you may want to take a few lessons from a vocal coach. A vocal coach can teach you diction, emphasis and voice strength, but also how to use your breath (diaphragm and lungs) and voice (mouth, vocal cords) simultaneously to achieve perfect resonance
Step 7. Try different ways of communicating a message
Change the emphasis of words or emphasize certain sentences to arouse curiosity, interest, responsibility, or other positive emotions. Turn a defensive question or comment, or even an offensive phrase, and turn it positive simply by changing the emphasis of the words; you will automatically look a lot friendlier. Eg:
- "What would you like me to do to fill the refrigerator?" - defensive emphasis
- "What would you like me to do to fill the refrigerator?" - cooperation, willingness to dialogue
- "What would you like me to do to fill the refrigerator? - apathetic tone, of one who does not make decisions.
Step 8. Monitor your language and thoughts
It's not just about the tone, it's also about the content. Affability can also be conveyed by the words you use, and when talking to someone you should always use polite and thoughtful language. You will hardly be considered friendly if you swear, gossip or complain. And remember that your thinking is reflected in your tone of voice, so pay attention to what's on your mind so you don't run the risk of getting across a message you don't want to get across.
Look out for signs of impatience, intolerance, or irritation such as sighs, mumbles, and clicks of the tongue. They are not friendly sounds, and you may be frustrating all your efforts
Advice
- Always smile, it will make you look friendlier. It's a great addition to a friendly tone of voice.
- If nervousness is one of the reasons you don't seem friendly, spend some time practicing starting conversations so you can do it without getting nervous. Focus on asking the other person questions so that they do the talking. This will give you time to warm up and find your "friendly voice".
- Ask a friend for their opinion on your voice before trying to change it, and after you do. He may be able to offer you a more objective opinion, which is very important.
- Modulate your voice according to the occasion. Don't speak too loudly if you are on an airplane, on the phone, at the cinema, at a concert, or in the office. A friendly voice is not a screaming voice.
