Self-love is sometimes confused with selfishness or arrogance, when in reality it is a vital and often overlooked aspect of a healthy psychological balance. If you want to teach someone to love themselves, help them strengthen their self-esteem and give them tips on how to control negative thoughts. Also, explain how he can practice self-love by taking care of his physical and emotional well-being.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Building Self-Esteem
Step 1. Make him understand that there is nothing wrong with loving yourself
Some people think that self-love is a selfish feeling and that being comfortable with yourself is a form of arrogance. If the person you are helping sees self-love as something to feel guilty about, stress that there is nothing wrong with having a positive self-image.
- Explain that healthy self-esteem involves recognizing your strengths, accepting your weaknesses, being proud of your achievements.
- Distinguish healthy self-love from bragging about your accomplishments to make others feel bad - which is probably a sign of low self-esteem instead.
- Point out that taking care of yourself is an integral part of self-love. For example, taking a break from work to avoid exhaustion is not selfish, but necessary for maintaining physical and mental health.
- Remind him that self-love is a very different thing from selfishness. Rather, describe it as "full autonomy": it means loving and taking care of yourself, which ultimately makes it easier to take care of others as well.
Step 2. Tell him to make a list of his qualities
Ask him to list his talents (for example, being good at a sport), positive personality traits (for example, having a great sense of humor), and hobbies that he is passionate about (for example, gardening).
- If he has trouble coming up with positive traits, let him know what you admire about him. You could say something like, "You have so many great qualities! You are a hard worker, you are good at tennis and you are always ready to help your family and friends."
- Encourage him to focus on his qualities, but avoid importing or giving unsolicited advice.
Step 3. Explain that self-esteem should not be based on the opinions of others
Tell the person you are helping that there are external and internal sources of self-worth. External sources are based on other people's opinions and are more superficial than internal ones.
- Express yourself this way: "Your self-esteem should come from within, from yourself, not from other people. Instead of trying to get good grades so that others think you are smart, engage in studying to achieve your personal goals or because you value knowledge itself ".
- Say, "It's okay for you to feel gratified when someone compliments you, but don't let the opinions of others define you. Suppose someone makes fun of you for taking piano lessons. If you like playing the piano and are interested in it. music, having the approval of others or not shouldn't make any difference."
Step 4. Remind him that he shouldn't compare himself to others
Everyone has different skills, qualities and passions, so tell the person you are helping that they have to accept both their strengths and weaknesses and that they shouldn't feel inferior because of someone else's talents or qualities.
- Address your loved one like this: "Being jealous of someone or getting angry with yourself won't do you any good. If someone has a talent you admire, be happy for them and don't get down on yourself if you don't. Instead, remember. to yourself what are the skills you possess ".
- Encourage him to work on the things that are under his control, like his fitness or his time management. However, if he wants to become a high-level gymnast but fails to make a wheel, let him know that he must accept the fact that he cannot be good at everything.
- Spending too much time on social media can lead to harmful comparisons. If necessary, advise him to reduce the time spent in front of the computer.
Step 5. Encourage them to help others and volunteer for causes they think are important
In addition to teaching him to develop a positive mindset, suggest that he help others whenever possible. Helping loved ones and giving charity are concrete ways to increase self-esteem.
- For example, she could help a relative or fellow student or help out with housework. She may also volunteer for her favorite cause, for example in an animal shelter, soup kitchen or youth mentoring program.
- Tell him, "It's hard to have a bad opinion of yourself when you help someone. It's hard to convince yourself that you are incapable when you have made another person's day better."
Part 2 of 3: Coping with Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Tell him how to identify and redirect negative thoughts
Encourage him to scold himself when he thinks things like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never be able to." Suggest that he say to himself, "Enough! They are negative thoughts, they are unproductive and I have the power to change my way of thinking."
- Ask him, "Would you ever tell a close friend of yours that he is a bad person or would you ever criticize him harshly? More likely, you would find a much kinder way to let him know he needs to improve. Instead of indulging in negative talk, treat yourself as you would treat. your friends".
- Ask him to replace negative thoughts with more neutral or more realistic ones. For example, instead of scolding himself with phrases like "I'm so stupid, I'll never be good at math", he might say to himself, "This is a difficult subject for me, but I'm going to work hard to improve." This can help him move to a more positive mindset.
- Make sure your friend is willing to get advice on how to control negative thoughts. If he doesn't react well, maybe it would be better to give him some space instead of forcing the conversation.
Step 2. Remind him that negative situations are not permanent
Let your loved one know that you understand how life's obstacles can seem immutable, insurmountable, and universal. Explain that instead of being overwhelmed, they should try to think objectively.
- You might say, "Thinking in absolute negative terms isn't constructive. Instead of 'I'll never be good at this', say to yourself,' If I practice, I can improve 'or' There are some things I'm not good at and that's okay '".
- Tell him, "Negative things may seem eternal, but nothing lasts forever. Think of the times you have had to face difficult situations: things have improved over time. Tell yourself that this too will pass."
- Try to encourage him by saying, "Do your best to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have achieved a lot and become stronger by overcoming the obstacles of the past."
Step 3. Assure the person you are helping that everyone makes mistakes
Get her to forgive herself for the mistakes she's made, whether it's saying something silly or deliberately doing something wrong. Explain that instead of dwelling on the past, they should see mistakes as opportunities for personal growth.
- Many people lose sleep if they miss a step or say something embarrassing. If your loved one dwells on his mistakes, tell him this: "Everyone does awkward things. You can't change the past, so try to take it with humor."
- Tell him, "If you've made a disaster or made a bad decision, don't dwell on what you could have done. Learn from your mistake, go ahead and do your best not to repeat it in the future."
Step 4. Encourage him to accept things that are beyond his control
Self-acceptance can be difficult to achieve, but it is an essential component of healthy self-love. Tell the person you are helping to be proud of what they have accomplished, to try to make improvements where possible, and to recognize that some things are beyond their control.
- For example, if your loved one criticizes himself for things he has the power to act on, such as his performance at work or school, he could improve himself by spending more time studying, taking private lessons, pursuing professional development opportunities, or asking the his boss of tips to be more efficient.
- However, everyone needs to be realistic about the limitations that are beyond their control. For example, you might say, "It is normal for you to be sad if you did not get the lead role in the play. On the other hand, the script specifies that the character is very short, and you are so tall. You will see that others will show up. occasions ".
Part 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Talk about the importance of getting support
When someone is feeling down, their loved ones can help. Tell him his friends and family are there to remind him how special he is to them, whatever happens. Also, point out that it's important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
He should avoid people who constantly denigrate or criticize him and rather try to build relationships with those who appreciate and encourage him
Step 2. Give him advice on how to stay healthy
When someone loves you, they strive to take care of their health. In turn, feeling healthy promotes a positive self-image that strengthens self-love.
- Encourage him to eat a healthy diet rich in vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains.
- Recommend him to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Suggest activities like jogging or brisk walking, biking, swimming or yoga.
- Let him know that rest is important and that he should get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.
Step 3. Suggest that they engage in activities that make them happy
Tell your loved one to set aside time for their hobbies and indulge in entertainment. Whatever his ideal activity, from reading to rock climbing, doing what he loves will nurture love and self-esteem.
If he claims to have no hobbies or interests, offer suggestions or remind him of his passions. For example, you might say, "I know you have a dog; you could visit new parks or go hiking to explore nature with him. Or maybe you could take training courses with him."
Advice
- Keep in mind that you shouldn't give too much unsolicited advice. Try not to be bossy, make sure the person is receptive, and step back if they're not interested.
- If the person you are helping has difficulty seeing themselves in a positive light, they may benefit from counseling. If she stops her usual activities, looks sad all the time, or suspects she might hurt herself, advise her to speak to a professional.
- Ask your loved one to reflect on their relationships. Is there anyone in his life that makes him feel bad or does things that make him feel bad about himself? If so, you may need to break ties or limit the time you spend with those people.
