Sometimes you don't mind being a little childish, but sometimes you want to be more mature. Maturity indicates an evolution from infancy to adulthood. Reflect on what you are now able to do, but could not when you were younger, and consider the behaviors you have developed or wish to develop. You probably need to show your parents that they can trust you or that you are capable of taking on additional responsibilities at work or in your projects. Maturity is also an intellectual, emotional and psychological path. Keep in mind that it doesn't come down to a set of rules or expectations to be respected, but it is a perception. However, there are some ways to show others that you are maturing, both personally and in a relationship.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Growing on the Personal Plan
Step 1. Live by your values
Maturity presupposes choices based on one's own ethical and moral values, rather than on the satisfaction of a momentary pleasure. While it can be fun to make a sudden decision, ask yourself what consequences it might trigger over time. Let the values you believe in guide you in life and put your personality at the head of your desires.
- Reflect on the people you value and the values they embody. If he's an athlete, you might appreciate his commitment, dedication, and willingness to physically push himself to the limit. If you look up to a spiritual guide with reverence, you probably appreciate their honesty and sense of compassion. By reflecting on the merits of others, you will discover the values to believe in.
- Make your actions reflect your chosen values. Show people that you want to live by your principles, even with minor inconveniences.
Step 2. Respect your feelings
Maturity also means emotional development. Unfortunately, people (and especially teenagers) are bombarded with messages that cause them to ignore or despise the emotional sphere: hold back tears, apologize when you cry or say "I'm fine" when you suffer inside. It's healthy to express your feelings and actually feel them. Emotions are inherent in human nature, so externalizing one's mood is a way to recognize the beauty and difficulties of life. So, demonstrate your maturity by manifesting what you feel.
- When you are sad, stop and think about what you are feeling. Ask yourself why: Maybe you got into a fight with a friend or one of your parents, got a bad grade, lost your dog, or missed your family. Instead of ignoring this feeling, embrace it completely and admit how important it is to acknowledge your feelings, even the most painful ones.
- When you express how you feel, start by saying "I feel …", avoiding saying "You make me …". Notice the difference between "I feel sad" and "You make me sad". The first sentence allows you to express your mood, while the second leads you to accuse your interlocutor. You need to take the opportunity to communicate your feelings to legitimize it and build strength, not to make accusations.
- Once you've identified your feelings, start working on them. For example, try to think, "It's not good to feel sad, but I know it won't last. Soon I'll be better and I'll find a way to understand what I'm going through." Also, keep in mind that you cannot consider the feelings you feel as real events: for example, just because you feel "stupid" one day does not mean that you really are. Don't be too hard on yourself when facing what you are feeling.
Step 3. Learn from others
Who would not like to know all the answers and not need the opinions of others, but mature people know how to open themselves to the experience and wisdom of others. The world will not fall if you admit that you don't know everything (no one is capable of it!). People around you can teach you things you don't know, so take their advice before making important decisions. By doing this, you will show that you are willing to learn from others.
- When faced with a challenging choice, reach out to people you can trust, such as a teacher, your coach, a spiritual guide, one of your parents, your grandfather, an aunt or uncle, your best friend or a adult you can rely on.
- Remember that no one can decide for you. Even if others can help you (or interfere), it's up to you to make the final decision.
Step 4. Avoid judging
We all love the friend who always supports us, does not speak behind our backs and is so trustworthy as to keep our every confidence, even the most embarrassing. Not judging means accepting, understanding and acting in good faith. Accept the people in your life for who they are (including yourself!). Don't try to change them. Don't consider yourself morally superior, but show yourself capable of accepting every person in your life with a sympathetic attitude. No one is better or worse than you. Learn not to make judgments and to approach others with compassion.
- Judgments do nothing but create a distance between people. Try to put yourself in other people's shoes and you will find that no matter how perfect their life seems, they too can have problems and suffer.
- Gossip is a way to spread judgments about someone. Pay attention to what you say when you talk about others.
- If a person starts making insinuations about someone, try saying, "It sounds like gossip. I prefer not to hurt people's feelings. Better to talk about cats."
Step 5. Respect your commitments
When you were younger, you had a well-established schedule: you had to go to school, play sports or take a dance class. Now, you have more freedom of choice. When you make a commitment, keep your word. Even if you don't enjoy the idea of doing something very much, it shows people that you are reliable and that they can count on you.
When you make a commitment, honor it. Let others know that they can trust you
Part 2 of 2: Interacting with People in a Mature Way
Step 1. Treat everyone with respect
Be considerate of the people around you, both with gestures and with words. Respect is the foundation on which trust and support in relationships, whether with parents, siblings, friends or partner, rests. A great way to learn to behave with respect is to treat yourself with respect. Don't feel compelled to do something just to follow the crowd, but listen to your mind, body and soul to see if you shouldn't get involved. Once you find out what self-respect is, you will treat everyone else this way as well.
- Don't hesitate to say "thank you" and "please".
- Avoid insulting even if you have an argument. You can disagree with someone and show them respect at the same time. Think before you speak and refrain from saying things that could hurt him. You reply: "I appreciate and respect your opinion although it is different from mine".
- If you treat people with respect, you will show that you know how to relate with a mature attitude.
Step 2. Stay calm when you have an argument
It's easy to fight back and vent your anger during a heated argument, but try to keep a cool head. An attitude of detachment in the most stressful situations can only procure positive effects on health over time, for example reducing the inflammatory processes that are underway in the body. So, in times of high stress it can be helpful to stay calm and think of something pleasant. If you don't lose your temper but maintain self-control, you will demonstrate to others that you know how to manage your emotions in a mature way.
- When anger takes over, take a few deep breaths and get in tune with your body. Listen to what he tells you and feel where the anger comes from. Allow your rationality to determine the best way to handle the situation.
- If you have a hard time responding calmly, apologize and walk away. You might say, "This is an important issue we need to address, but I'm too nervous and need to calm down. Can we talk about it again once I've had time to think?"
Step 3. Don't get defensive
If things start to escalate, resist the temptation to defend your position. Don't put up a wall, but try to listen to the opinions of others, even if you strongly disagree with them. There are no two people in the world who agree on everything. So, be respectful and listen, in the same way you would like your interlocutor to listen to you. By paying attention to what people have to say and avoiding being defensive, you will show that you are mature enough to handle conflicts.
- Differences with parents can manifest themselves on various aspects (clothing, text messages, boys / girls or friends) and there is always the risk of not finding a meeting point with them. If you want your parents to understand you, you too must make an effort to understand their point of view.
- If you feel like you're on the defensive, don't argue, but communicate your mood. For example, instead of saying, "You're calling me a liar! I'm not!" Try this: "It's important for people to be honest with me. That's why I'm sorry when they accuse me of lying."
Step 4. Identify your shortcomings
Don't blame others for your problems. Remember that you have the freedom to choose how to act and react. Since every relationship involves an interaction between two people, your behavior also affects how you feel and the situations you experience. It is very easy to blame others when you are in pain, but identify your role and assume your responsibilities. Reflect on your actions and recognize to what extent they have affected a given situation.
- Even if no one is perfect, it doesn't mean that you have the right to blame people for your problems or unpleasant emotions you are experiencing, or to consider them inferior to you.
- If you have let someone down, apologize. Instead of putting the blame on external factors, try saying, "I'm sorry I didn't arrive on time. It was my fault because I didn't know how to manage my time." In the future, plan things differently: "Next time I'll be out ten minutes early so I can be on time."
- By acknowledging your mistakes, you show others that you are a humble person who can admit their faults - very mature behavior.
Step 5. Make your requests politely
When you want something, don't demand it. Imagine how you would react if someone behaved like this towards you - you definitely wouldn't like it. Instead, be polite when discussing your needs and making a request. You're not a temperamental kid sitting in a shopping cart yelling at mom to buy him chips. You have passed this stage.
- If you want a dog, don't complain until you have one. Ask your parents politely, explaining that you will take on the task of taking him for a walk, feeding him and caring for him. Prove your maturity by gracefully advancing your requests and acting accordingly.
- Instead of saying "I deserve it!" or "Why don't you give me what I want?", put it this way: "I would like to talk to you about something I really want and I would like you to listen to me."
