Being nice is easier said than done. The day is hard enough without always having to smile and be polite to strangers, saying "thank you" and "please". So why do it? Because kindness makes people feel better and allows for great relationships. On top of that, also consider that it can help you get what you want - others will be more likely to reach out to you if you are friendly to them. Read on to start learning this quality.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Being Kind in Everyday Life
Step 1. Recognize other people
When you pass someone, even a stranger, acknowledge their presence with a simple "Hello!", "Hello!" or "How are you doing?". Even a nod with your hand or head in his direction is enough to demonstrate this. It is valuable to point out our attention to others: it makes them feel special.
- If you walk down a busy street, it can be difficult to greet everyone you meet. At least try to be nice to people who are sitting next to you on the bus or plane, or to those you pass by by chance.
- In the morning, say goodbye to classmates and teachers or colleagues when you enter the school or office. You will soon earn a reputation for being a kind person.
Step 2. Be a good listener
Listen when someone talks to you. It is not polite to ignore the opinions and speeches of others. Let your interlocutor speak as, in reverse, you also like to be heard.
- If you see someone behaving in a rude or nagging manner, do not assume physical attitudes of impatience or rudeness. Wait politely for him to finish and try to change the subject once he's done talking.
- Being kind doesn't mean getting your feet on your head. If you interact with a stranger who makes you uncomfortable, find an excuse and walk away.
Step 3. Be courteous, polite and helpful
Always use good manners by saying "Please" and "Thank You". Be patient, attentive, and thoughtful. Treat people with respect, even those you aren't interested in getting to know. Offer help and support when needed.
- Don't forget to ask for permission instead of saying "Hurry!" when someone gets in your way. Remember not to treat people badly - they are human beings like you. If you respect them, they will do the same.
- If you are on public transport and an elderly person, a disabled person or a pregnant woman gets on, offer your seat. It is a kind gesture (in some places around the world it is prescribed by law!).
- If you see someone who needs a little help picking up an object that has fallen on the floor or placed on a high shelf, give them a hand.
Step 4. Smile
This way, you will give the impression that you are a nice person. Whether it's a warm smile or a shy hint, look others in the eye. A smile will allow you to set the tone of the meeting and, moreover, those in front of you will be pushed to return it, even feeling at ease in your company. If it doesn't, it's likely that you're just having a bad day. Sure, being nice doesn't guarantee a positive response, but it usually helps.
- Smile when you meet people on the street, when you ask a clerk for advice, when you walk to school in the morning, or whenever you make eye contact with someone.
- Smile even if you feel down. You can still be nice even if you're not in the mood. Why should you pass on negative energies to other people?
- If you're in a bad mood and don't want to listen to anyone, try listening to some music, drawing, or doing anything that can give you relief. That way, you won't be intolerant or rude even if you don't intend to.
Step 5. Try to be empathetic
In other words, you have to put yourself in others' shoes. Empathy is not an innate ability, but it must be cultivated. So, try to detach yourself from your way of thinking and ask yourself: "Who am I in front of what is he feeling?". The goal is not to find the "right answer", but to prioritize others in order to become a more caring, caring and kind person.
Don't discriminate. Be nice to everyone. If you behave well with friends and teachers but are rude to people who have little regard, you risk appearing less kind than you actually are. Do not judge others on the basis of origin, age, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability or religion
Step 6. Do not speak ill of others when they are not present
Of course, you shouldn't criticize anyone, but there are times when it makes sense to point out mistakes to those who make them. However, the right occasion is not when the person in question is absent. Speaking behind shows that you do not respect the person involved and that you view them differently when they are present. Nice people know that talking behind someone's back is a despicable behavior that can fuel a reputation as a gossip.
If you have any problems or concerns with someone, just ask. Highlight conflicts in order to be able to manage them amiably and easily
Step 7. Consider everyone, not just those closest to you
Keeping the door open to a friend is a nice gesture, but kindness is synonymous with availability and cordiality with everyone. Help out a person in need on the street and offer to help a classmate or colleague if their folders and documents fall to the ground. Help organize someone's birthday or a Friday bring croissants for no particular reason. Be kind in a selfless way.
Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how their life is progressing, without being indiscreet or intrusive. If you feel he is reticent, avoid pushing him to say more than he wants to
Part 2 of 3: Be Nice to People You Know
Step 1. Be positive
When your friends seek you out for advice or just to set the mood for a conversation, don't portray negatively or critically. Keep looking for the positives in every situation. Cheer up. There are always two sides to the coin: the positive and the negative. Kind people help others see the glass as half full.
- Give credit to your friends. If they get a good grade in an exam or win an award, congratulate them.
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Give compliments. If you have a friend who hates her hair, tell her she's beautiful or has a great smile. Even if you aren't completely honest, he will appreciate your kindness.
If she is a very close friend, you can say, "I think you look great, but try …" and give her a little tip that can improve her appearance
- Sometimes people need to let off steam in a negative way. You can be tolerant and understanding while they talk, without making a joke. Make sure the tone of your answers is relevant to what they are trying to tell you.
Step 2. Be humble
Do you tend to look down on who is different or "strange"? It's not nice to think you're better. You are also a person, but everyone has their problems, and being kind to each other improves the life of each of us. We are all the same: when you flaunt superiority, you make others feel less important.
- Don't brag and don't be arrogant. If you have accomplished something exceptional, you will certainly be proud of it. The important thing is to give due recognition to the people who have helped you in the meantime.
- Don't judge people until you really know them. Don't make assumptions based on their speech or appearance. Keep in mind that the first impression is not always reliable. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover.
Step 3. Be honest
If you are nice just to get privileged treatment, you are behaving the opposite of what you should be: it is a hypocritical, superficial and cruel attitude. You have to be kind because, looking back, you can see that you have been correct in any situation. Be kind because you choose to be.
Don't be a hypocrite. Avoid talking bad about others and stabbing them in the back. If you are kind and honest with everyone, you will earn their trust. Also, don't double-face by discrediting those who trust you. Don't gossip about other people or those you dislike. These behaviors always have repercussions and will make you seem superficial
Step 4. Sprinkle your daily routine with small acts of kindness
For example, hold the door open to a teacher you don't know or smile at someone who isn't always nice to you. It's the little things, those of no apparent importance, that will ultimately make you seem a much nicer person.
Step 5. Learn to share
Try sharing a slice of cake by offering some to your little brother. You could also make available something more important, such as your time, your space or your skills. Also, consider charitable actions or even just a few small daily acts of generosity. Goodness is a symptom of kindness of mind. Do not take more than what you give and, when you can, give more than what you receive.
Part 3 of 3: Be Kind to the People You Love
Step 1. Offer your help
If you see your parents juggling busy schedules, offer to help them. Prioritize others when you have energy and time available. In the long run you will surely be rewarded for your good deeds, so don't be selfish.
- Don't wait for them to ask you for a hand. Learn to identify times when people are in trouble.
- Use your creativity! Help your siblings with their homework, listen to your husband or wife's ideas about a new project, make breakfast for the whole family, walk the dog, take your sister to school, and so on. They may seem unimportant, but your efforts will be appreciated.
Step 2. Be serious and trustworthy
Being kind to your family and those you love also means guaranteeing your presence in times of need. Respond to emails and phone calls, respect appointments and commitments, and listen to those who ask for your attention.
- If someone leaves you a message, call them back immediately. It's not nice to leave people waiting for days.
- If you promise to be in a certain place, try to be there. If you give your word, you do what you said. Unreliability ruins the trust that others place in you and is not a nice way to go about it. Cultivate your friendships.
Step 3. Be available for people going through difficult times
During a crisis or a period of ups and downs, sufferers probably want nothing more than to cook and eat alone! Bring him a pan of baked pasta and a packet of cookies and spend the evening with him. If your best friend has been dumped by his partner, offer to help him remove his ex's belongings scattered around the house so he doesn't have to go through this painful task alone. True friends and kind people don't go away when things go wrong: they face the situation head on and lend a hand.
Step 4. Take the right path
Sometimes it's not easy to be nice. You will find yourself in situations that will lead you to exasperation. Even the people you love can sometimes be rude, overly critical, selfish, self-centered, or openly hostile. You have to avoid going down to their level. Don't go from kindness to meanness just because your patience is being tested.
- When you get angry and about to act rudely, choose another reaction rather than misbehaving. Go for a run, punch a pillow or relax by playing a video game. You are always in control of your actions and behaviors.
- Remember to treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you don't step on their dignity, they will automatically see you as a kind, caring, trustworthy and caring person. Ultimately, you want to be respected for your opinions, ideas and passions, even if they are not acceptable to everyone. You should show the same courtesy to others as well.
Step 5. Offer your forgiveness
Don't hold a grudge and don't continue to punish or blame people once they've apologized to you. Remember that forgiving is about putting what happened behind you and not allowing anger or jealousy to continue to dominate your thoughts. This does not mean that you must suddenly go back to confiding in whoever hurt you. It just means to stop harboring hatred towards him if he sincerely asked for your forgiveness. It is an essential element of goodness of mind. People will respect you if you are kind and forgiving.
Even if you are not asked for forgiveness, try to move on. People who hurt you and don't apologize generally don't deserve your anger and concern
Advice
- Be kind to animals too! Love and respect your four-legged friends as well as wild animals.
- Don't laugh at other people's mistakes and don't point out flaws too harshly. It's okay to joke, of course, but use common sense and recognize the difference between laughing with someone and mocking them.
- If friends aren't nice to you, don't reciprocate with the same rudeness. Come closer and ask what's wrong.
- If someone confides in you and you promise not to tell anyone, stick to your word and keep it a secret.
- If you lose your temper every now and then, you are not a bad person, especially if someone is being mean to you. In these cases, don't be hard on yourself and remember that you are not foolproof. That said, don't hold a grudge for no reason.
- Never discriminate against people because of their religion or where they come from. You should always treat them well regardless of who they are.
- Make kindness set you apart. Don't behave yourself every other day or else people will start to think you are acting.
- Being kind also means telling the truth, but if the truth is too painful, communicate it tactfully.
- If you suspect you are having problems with aggression, consider seeing a therapist.
Warnings
- Don't let others take advantage of your friendliness and your friendly, meek manner. They could hurt you and disappoint other people. If you stand up politely, you can save yourself and others from numerous problems.
- Be careful when you smile or say hello to someone you have had a bad experience with. The situation can backfire. They may think you are being sneaky and respond with a not very pleasant phrase.
- Even if you behave kindly, don't become an easy target. Compromise is fine, but you need to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and don't hesitate to stand up for others. If you realize that, while respecting someone, you are not reciprocated, leave the scene with elegance and disappear.
- You have probably heard that "appearance is not important, because what matters is who you are inside". It's only partially true, but you only get one chance when you know someone. If you are rude the first time, you may be labeled this way. If, on the other hand, you make a good impression, people will think you are nice and straightforward.
