If you are throwing a party, you naturally want it to be memorable. You will likely invite friends or relatives to have great company. How can you fix it if you've inadvertently invited an unwelcome guest? Canceling a party invitation isn't easy, but with the right approach you can minimize the risks of a conflict and ensure that the event is still a success.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Cancel the Invitation to a Person who is no longer Welcome
Step 1. Talk to her in person
If you've decided to unsubscribe from someone, you shouldn't do it by text or email. It's an unpleasant situation, but taking an impersonal approach will make it even more awkward. Texting, emailing and direct messages on social networks are better suited for informal communication, while canceling an invitation requires more tact and diplomacy.
- Cancel the invitation in person in a private conversation. If this is not possible (because the person lives outside the city), the best alternative is a phone call.
- Try to be polite but express your position firmly.
- You can say, "I know I initially invited you to the party, but now the situation has changed. I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you angry, but I think it would be better if you didn't come."
Step 2. Avoid putting off the conversation
The situation is difficult and certainly stressful for you, but putting off it won't get any easier. Eventually you will have to talk openly with the unwelcome person and the sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to relax and get back to organizing your fun party.
Waiting before canceling an invitation would only increase the tension and could cause problems for the invitee, who may have to organize a trip or hire a babysitter for example
Step 3. Prepare for the conversation
Anticipate and prepare an answer to all the questions that the person you have decided not to invite can ask you; she will probably want to know why you changed your mind and suddenly she is no longer welcome. Be aware that this can lead to an in-depth and complex conversation; canceling an invitation can force you to discuss a behavioral problem or addiction. Before you sit down to talk, think about why you decided to cancel the invitation and the best way to discuss it.
Try writing what you want to say and the reasons for canceling the invitation. Think about the other person's point of view and how you would feel in their shoes. Even if you are upset, be prepared to listen to their opinion with respect and compassion
Step 4. Be sincere and direct
Canceling someone's invitation can hurt them, but lying to them about the reasons can make the situation even worse. If the person you've decided not to invite again finds out the real reason, other than your explanation, it could be a harder blow than canceling.
- Tell the person why you decided to cancel the invitation. If there has been an argument or maybe because she just separated from a close friend of yours, let her know what the reason is.
- If you need to cancel an invitation from someone you want to be friends with, let them know it's nothing personal. Explain that you don't want to offend her but that you would prefer it if she didn't come.
- Imagine canceling an invitation to a friend for your daughter's birthday. When he asks why, you can tell him: "Last week on Gianni's birthday you got drunk and said really hurtful things. Everyone got angry and uncomfortable. I want there to be no scenes on my daughter's birthday. be careful of her; at the moment I don't think I can trust you and I'm afraid you might create embarrassment again. " If you want to be friends with that person, you can offer them your help in overcoming the addiction to alcohol, or encourage them to apologize to the people they have offended. Let her know that you want to help her, but that the party is dedicated to your daughter and that you want to make sure she has a great day.
Part 2 of 3: Revoke an Invitation Made in Error
Step 1. Cancel the invitation secretly via the internet
Not all party invitations go online, but some do. If you've created an event for your party on a social network like Facebook, you can remove people from your guest list. Those people will not be notified of the cancellation of the invitation; they will only stop receiving messages and notifications about the party, which will not appear in their next scheduled events.
- Open the event page.
- On the right side of the page you should see the guest list, sorted into the following categories: "will attend", "maybe" and "invited".
- Search for the person you want to delete and click the "x" next to their name.
Step 2. Let the person know why you canceled the invitation
If you accidentally invited her with a mass invitation or got the news through other people, it's best to be direct with her. Let her know you weren't going to invite her and consider explaining why.
- If you don't want someone at your party because they have a tendency to insult others or get too drunk, tactfully explain it to them.
- For example, you can say, "I'm very sorry but I think it's better if you don't come to my party. You have a tendency to (drink too much / say unpleasant things / etc) and I don't want that to happen on my birthday too."
- If you think the person you accidentally invited might be doing well, give them a chance to improve their attitude. You can tell her, "You can come to the party if you promise not to _."
Step 3. Make up an excuse
If you'd rather not talk about the person's problematic behavior but still want them not to come to your party, you can try to find an excuse. However, remember that a made-up justification can be as unpleasant as the truth.
- Try telling the person that there are already too many guests and that you would rather see them in private for a coffee rather than a crowded event.
- If you organize the party together with another person, for example a friend or your partner, you can say that it was she who canceled some invitations; however, make sure he knows your intentions and supports you.
Step 4. Consider making the party more exclusive
Canceling one person's invitation can hurt her a lot, while it's more understandable to ask not to come to a group. For example, you could turn the party into a kids-only or a couple-only event.
Step 5. Cancel the party and move it to another date
The last option is to delete the event entirely. You can come up with an excuse why you had to postpone and invite people to another party on a different date. Just make sure to be more careful when sending out invitations so you don't find yourself in the same situation.
Part 3 of 3: Handling an Unwanted Guest at Your Party
Step 1. Ask the guests not to bring anyone
If you are organizing a party at home, it is not uncommon for one of the guests to decide to bring a friend or neighbor; however, this can give you the impression that your privacy is being violated or it can force you to spend more on the organization. If you don't want surprise guests, let everyone know that this is a guest-only event.
- Whether you decide to send formal invitations, send emails or invite your friends by word of mouth, let everyone know this is a small and intimate party.
- If you like to decide on a case-by-case basis, you can tell guests that they need to ask for your permission before bringing anyone.
- If you don't want anyone to invite other people, send invitation cards that don't include a "+1". Use cards that only have "yes" and "no" boxes for the answer.
Step 2. Try to be as courteous as possible
The best way to temper a potentially hostile or embarrassing situation is to be polite and polite. Remember that even if you haven't invited someone to your party, you are still the host and they are your guest.
Treat people how you would like to be treated. Be warm and welcoming, even with those you don't like and those you don't want to invite
Step 3. Decide whether to deal with the unwanted guest
Over the course of the party, you may be tempted to talk to that person. Consider carefully whether to intervene, considering the damage she is doing and how often you will need to interact with her in the future. If you see her once a month or less, you probably don't mind offending her. At the same time, if you don't see each other often it may not be worth correcting his behavior.
- If you know that person won't listen to you, talking seriously could be a waste of time.
- If the person isn't causing any problems, it's usually best to bite your tongue. You can have one or two more guests, as long as they are accommodating and get along well with everyone.
- If the person annoys the other guests, you should deal with them. Do this separately by asking her to speak to you in another room.
Step 4. Talk to the person
If necessary, explain that her behavior makes other guests uncomfortable, or you can decide to confront her simply because of her presence. Either way, you need to be very careful and choose your words carefully.
- Address the behavior and not the person himself. Explain clearly and directly what you would like him to do differently.
- Comparisons are best avoided. Remember that people prefer to have options and answer questions instead of receiving orders.
- Try saying, "I really want this party to be fun for everyone, but your behavior is causing problems. You can stay if you stop _, but if not, you better leave."
Step 5. Ask the person to leave
If you just can't accept someone attending your party, you can ask them to leave. It can be difficult, so it's best to be direct and let him know why his presence makes you uncomfortable.
- Ask the person to talk to you privately. Don't kick someone out in front of other guests.
- You can say, "I'm very sorry, but your presence makes me uncomfortable. I think it would be better for everyone if you left."
- If you feel comfortable doing this, you can explain to the person why you want them to leave. Don't be rude, but direct and courteous.
Advice
- Always keep calm and polite. Don't get angry and don't take your frustration out on the unwanted guest, no matter what happens.
- Do not share photos of your party on social networks if the person whose invitation you uninvited could see them. You may appear to be doing it on purpose. Ask the guests to do the same; if they want to share photos, make sure they do so in a private album accessible to guests only.
