When sending out a wedding invitation to a family, there are several etiquette rules to follow. If you use two envelopes, remember to adopt a more formal tone in the outer one. In the internal one, on the other hand, you can address the guests in a more personal way. Include as much information as possible about the outer envelope, including full titles and middle names. Baby names usually go in the inner envelope if they are invited. In the end, however, choose the rules you prefer. After all, it's your special day!
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Using the Double Envelope
Step 1. Decide whether to use two envelopes
If you are planning a casual wedding, you can only use one. In this way the guests will immediately see the invitation once the letter is opened. If, on the other hand, you prefer formality and respect for tradition, prepare double envelope invitations. This means that guests will need to open two separate envelopes before seeing the event details.
You can also consider the quality of the paper you plan to use for the invitations. If you choose thick, high-quality paper, the second envelope may not be needed. Also, the shipping cost may be higher
Step 2. Fill out the outer envelope more formally
If you choose the double envelope style, you will have to be more formal for the outer one and less for the inner one. On the outer envelope write full titles and names, while in the inner envelope names are enough, without titles.
If you don't know a guest well, you can take a more formal approach and include the full name in the inner envelope as well
Step 3. Use formal full names, with no abbreviations in the address
The outer envelope is usually considered more formal than the inner one. For this reason, you must use the full names of the guests, not the simple initials. For the sender and recipient address, write the full city and state name. Do the same on the streets.
- For example, in the address you should write "Piazza" and not "P.za".
- Try to include the middle name of the guests. However, if you don't know it, use the initial or just your first and last name.
Method 2 of 4: Decide how to address the invitees
Step 1. Use Mr
and Ms for married couples on the outer envelope. You can refer to both members of the couple with "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. However, this method is considered by many to be inappropriate for modern society. You can also refer to a couple as "Mr. Marco and Mrs. Laura Rossi".
On the inner envelope you can only write "Marco and Laura" or "Marco and Laura Rossi"
Step 2. Consider who you have the closest relationship with if a couple uses two different surnames
If you are inviting a married couple whose husband and wife have kept their surnames, write the person you are closest to first. If the relationship is close with both, use alphabetical order.
For example, on the outer envelope you could write "Mr. Marco Rossi and Mrs. Laura Verdi"
Step 3. Write your closest friend first if a couple is not married but living together
The personal relationship rule also applies if you send an invitation to an unmarried couple; the only difference is that you will use two separate lines. The first is reserved for the person you know best, the other for his partner.
For example, on the first line of the outer envelope you can write "Sig.na Paola Bianchi" and on the second "Sig. Franco Neri"
Step 4. Collect more information if you invite a widow
Ask a relative if they prefer to use their surname or that of her husband. If you are unable to obtain this information or are unsure, choose their surname so as not to take any risks.
For example, on the outer envelope you can write "Mrs. Carla Rossi" or with the husband's surname, "Mrs. Carla Bianchi". On the inner envelope, use only "Mrs. Rossi" or "Carla"
Step 5. Follow the same rules for a same-sex couple
The rules don't change when you invite a homosexual couple. If they are married, write both names on the same line. If they live together but are not married, write them on different lines.
Step 6. Use titles if both people are college graduates
On the outer envelope, add "Doctor" and "Doctor" before the names. On the inner one, you can use the abbreviation "Dr." or write "Doctors" and the surname.
For example, on the outer envelope you will write "Doctor Anna and Doctor Pietro Grassi". On the inner envelope instead "Dottori Grassi"
Step 7. Write multi-line titles if necessary
Some titles are quite long, but the formality of the outer envelope requires you to write them all down. In this case you can continue on the next line if there is not enough space. Usually this problem doesn't show up in the inner envelope, where you can use abbreviations.
Method 3 of 4: Invite the Children
Step 1. Include children under the age of 18 on the inner envelope
Baby names are not required on the outer envelope. However, in the internal one, list the names of the children invited in the second row, in order of age. If you want, you can add "Miss" before each girl's name. Underage males do not have a comparable title.
For example, in the second line of the inner envelope you could write "Michele, Miss Rebecca and Andrea"
Step 2. Send a separate invitation to kids who have turned 18
Write a separate envelope for adult children living alone or with their parents. Use the formal full name on the outer envelope and "Mr." or "Miss" and the surname in the internal one.
Step 3. Do not write names if they are not invited
If your guests can't find their children's names in the inner envelope, they should understand that they're not invited. However, be careful, as not everyone understands the message and may think their children are invited to the wedding too.
- You write that children are not invited to the wedding website. Include your reasons if you think they can help parents understand your decision. You might say: "We are very sorry not to be able to invite the children to the ceremony or reception, because the location cannot accommodate them."
- Contact families who are not aware of your intentions so that they know that children are not invited.
Method 4 of 4: Deal with Invitations in the Best Way
Step 1. Make sure you have plenty of time to compose and send out the invitations
If you have decided to send them yourself, consider that it takes time to write them, prepare them and send them by post. Spend the time you need on this project, giving it your full attention.
Step 2. Consider which address to use as the sender for replies
It is better to use the same. Otherwise, guests may get confused and send responses to the wrong address. Choose an address that you check often.
Step 3. Compose the envelopes carefully
You should leave the inner pouch open and position it so that the closed side faces the opening side of the outer pouch. Place the invitation with the text facing out. The aim is for the invitee to open the outer envelope and immediately see the invitation.
Step 4. Weigh the invitations before sending them out
Before buying the stamps, go to the post office and put an invitation on the scale. This way you will know how you need to frank the envelopes to make sure they arrive at their destination.
