Arguing is never fun, and being in conflict with the people you love is even less fun. Fights with your parents may seem inevitable over time, but there are ways to minimize them, even with the most stubborn ones.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Resolve a Conflict
Step 1. Evaluate the reasons for the obstinacy
Politely ask the parent you are having trouble with why they do this. You can try saying: "I think I would be much more peaceful if you explained your point of view. Why are you saying no to me?".
If your question makes him angry, forget about it and move on, or try to open the discussion again when he has calmed down
Step 2. Apologize
In some cases, it's not worth arguing even if you think you're right. If you think this is the case, try apologizing. You don't have to lie and say you're sorry that you don't agree with a parent's opinion (which may be legitimate), but you can still sincerely apologize for arguing with them. Here are some ways to do this:
- "I was angry and I shouldn't have insulted you, I'm sorry yes I hurt you"
- "I hadn't considered the situation from your point of view, I'm sorry I argued with you"
- "I'm very sorry I said some bad things"
Step 3. Take deep breaths
If during an argument you want to put up to the fight, try to slow down the situation and your reactions. You can do this with a few deep breaths.
Inhale through your nose, counting to five, hold your breath for two seconds, then exhale through your mouth
Step 4. Walk away
An effective way to end an argument is to distance yourself. Let souls calm down by spending time apart. Make sure you leave politely, otherwise your gesture could be counterproductive and escalate the situation.
- For example, you can say: "I have the impression that we would continue to fight if I stayed here, so I prefer to leave; let's try to resume the conversation in the future, when I am calmer."
- Avoid blaming your stubborn parent or you will just push him to stiffen even more about his position as a defense to your accusations.
Step 5. Stay calm
Your stubborn parent is more likely to stay calm if you do the same. Having a quiet attitude makes it easier to end the fight, so avoid becoming stubborn and angry yourself.
While it can be difficult to stay calm during an argument where you are really angry, try your best. It can help to eat something so that you don't feel hungry and have less self-control
Part 2 of 2: Reduce the Extent of the Conflict Before It Begins
Step 1. Confront your parent at the right time
In some cases, when you approach a sensitive topic, you won't get the answer you are hoping for. Raising the problem or asking a question when the other person is in a great mood increases the chances of receiving a positive reaction.
Know when your parent is in the best mood. In the morning or in the evening? During the weekend? When is the sun out?
Step 2. Spend time with your parents
Do activities together or ask them how their day went. It is easy to forget that you are with them and this can lead to a weakening of your bond and consequently to conflicts. There are many things you can do together:
- Take the dog for a walk.
- Play video games together.
- Watch a movie.
- Try a board game.
- Go shopping.
Step 3. Show your affection
Approach your stubborn parent and give him a big hug, telling him how much you care about him. While expressing your love in words is important, you can do a lot more to prove it:
- Mow the lawn.
- Do the dishes.
- Wash your car.
- Write a letter or card.
- Cook a meal for the whole family.
Step 4. Be open with your parents
Tell them how you feel and update them on your life. This way they may be more willing to see things from your perspective and consequently behave less rigidly.
- You can tell your parents about your day at school or at work.
- You can talk about something that excites you and explain why.
- You can confess your concerns.
Step 5. Don't idle
Nobody likes unbalanced and unbalanced relationships. It is certainly true that the relationship between you and your parents is unbalanced, because they have to do more things for you (raise and support you to a certain age) than you do for them, but that doesn't mean you should sit all day. to do nothing or not help when you have the chance. If they see you working hard, they probably won't be as rigid and you'll rarely get into a fight.
- Make sure you keep your room tidy.
- Make sure you complete all the tasks assigned to you.
- Try not to get too dirty and clean when it happens.
- Do your best in school and work.
Step 6. Let off steam with a friend
Talk to a close friend about how your parents make you feel. He may be able to give you advice and at the very least will offer you social and moral support.
You may find that by letting off steam with a friend, you are less grumpy and are less able to argue with your parents
Step 7. Try to avoid hot topics
If you know that your parents' positions on certain aspects are adamant, such as lending you the car, do what you can not to talk about it.
Think about alternatives. You could take the bus, a taxi, or ask a friend to drive
Step 8. Consider the point of view of your stubborn parent
Maybe there is a reason why he keeps saying no to you. Try putting yourself in his shoes and try to understand why he is acting so stubborn.
