Do you have the impression that you cannot trust your partner or that he does not trust you? Lack of trust in a relationship can lead to more serious problems or even the end of the relationship. A simple way to establish trust is to relate differently with each other, increasing communication and opening up more. Insecurity can lead to a lack of confidence, so work on your self-esteem by carrying out activities that you like to do alone. If you find it hard to trust the other due to past problems, consider undergoing therapy to try to solve your problems.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Improve Communication
Step 1. Avoid controlling what the other person is doing
It can be difficult to leave some space for the other: if you are used to going through his personal belongings or subjecting him to an interrogation at the time of going out, learn to do without these practices. Although it may frighten you, it will show that you are willing to trust the other and not to meddle too much in his life.
- Try to prefer trust over suspicion - trust your partner and wait to see what happens.
- Let the other know that you have decided to trust him, instead of being suspicious.
- Remember that if you are keeping him in check, it means that you are already prejudiced against him and may misunderstand everything you will discover.
Step 2. Talk openly with the other person
It is clear that discussing your problems can help you overcome them. Being able to communicate without having the impression that one is hiding something from the other can improve your communication and restore trust. If there are situations that upset you, express your concerns and the reason why you are annoyed, then listen carefully to the other person's response.
- For example, instead of worrying about what your partner is doing while he is out, talk to him about it before he goes out, to get an idea of where he is going and what his plans are. Get used to having these kinds of conversations without putting pressure on them to get more information.
- When you talk to him, keep calm and available: if you accuse or blame him for something, you could put him on the defensive; if you seem angry or upset, they may refuse to talk to you.
Step 3. Avoid accusing each other
It only serves to worsen an unstable situation. If your partner doesn't trust you (or you him), be careful not to accuse him, but stay open to what he says and listen carefully. Ask him questions instead of accusing him.
- On some occasions you may get the feeling that there is something fishy. In that case it is worthwhile to change your attitude and try to get more details.
- For example, if you are concerned about the confidentiality your partner uses in texting, tell him that you find it strange that he is so reserved and ask him if something is wrong, rather than tell him that you don't trust him and that you think. that he is hiding something from you.
Step 4. See a couple therapist
Trust issues can quickly ruin a relationship. If you and your partner are serious about engaging in the relationship and want to seek help in solving your problems, a couples therapist may be for you. This professional could help you discuss your difficulties and find new ways to relate to each other. It will also help you implement changes in the way you interact and begin to restore trust.
Look for a therapist who specializes in couples work and is willing to see you together. You can find one by contacting your health insurance - if you have one - or at a local health center
Part 2 of 3: Working on Your Weaknesses
Step 1. Increase your self-confidence
If you are an insecure person, you may not feel worthy of your partner or fear that they may find someone better than you. Recognize that these are personal insecurities that may have nothing to do with the other person. Increase your self-esteem by recognizing your strengths, doing what makes you feel good, and turning your inner dialogue from negative to positive.
- For example, if you have a tendency to repeat to yourself that you are a problematic person or that you should be ashamed, try to adopt phrases that make you feel good about yourself, such as: “Even if I didn't express myself very well I still gave it a try and tried to communicate better ".
- If your lack of self-esteem is interfering with your relationship, you may want to seek individual help from a professional therapist. It could help you rebuild your confidence, thereby strengthening your relationship with your partner.
Step 2. Explore your interests and hobbies
Try to fulfill yourself as an individual, not just as a partner in the relationship. Having interests and hobbies can also provide an outlet for stress. Find an activity that you like and that makes you feel good and try to do it at least once a week.
- If you don't know where to start, try volunteering. You can meet new people knowing that you are doing something useful for the community.
- You can try a new kind of sport, practice yoga, paint, dance, hike or indulge in music.
Step 3. Seek support from friends or family
Talk about your jealousy or trust issues by seeking a different point of view from a trusted friend or family member. If you need help or advice, reach out to someone you trust and discuss with them - even if they can't help you, they will still be able to listen to you.
Spend time with friends or family outside of your relationship. Make time for evenings, dinners, and activities with the people you care about
Step 4. Manage emotions in a healthy way
In case you find it hard to manage anxiety or jealousy within the relationship, learn to live with these emotions without attacking or hurting your partner. If you feel stressed, try taking deep breaths before accusing the other or becoming suspicious of him: it can help you calm your mind and body.
If you're having a hard time managing your emotions, try writing them in a journal, listening to music, or going for a walk
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Your Wounds
Step 1. Recognize your past injuries
You may have been burned from a previous relationship or family and this affects your ability to trust your current partner. While your experiences are worth considering, acknowledge that your partner is not the person who hurt you. In case you find it difficult to trust the other because of your previous relationships, it is important to recognize your experience and examine how it affects your current relationship.
- It may also be that your partner has hurt you or betrayed your trust in the past. If this is the case, but you intend to continue the relationship, forgive him and move on.
- For example, if your previous partner cheated on you, you obviously want to be very cautious this time around. However, remember that it wasn't your current partner who cheated on you.
Step 2. Identify current trust issues
Take a moment to think about the specific problems you've had with trust. Identify behaviors or situations that make you feel uncomfortable: Ask yourself if your partner is behaving suspiciously, has lied to you in the past, or has been unfaithful in some way.
- In the event that your partner has not been suspicious / suspicious or unfaithful but you are still concerned, acknowledge that your insecurity is likely driving your distrust.
- In the event that the other, or yourself, has been unfaithful, ask yourself if you can let it go and move on with the relationship.
Step 3. Trust yourself
You may have difficulty trusting yourself if you have made bad decisions within the relationship in the past. Be willing to tolerate intense emotions and not do anything rash (like a betrayal) and don't let off steam with the other. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and allow yourself to move on.
Recognize that you have made mistakes or that you have been hurt in the past, but that you have nevertheless been able to learn something from those experiences. Accept the lesson and let go of the pain by forgiving yourself
Step 4. Contact a therapist individually
Maybe you were abused as a child or deeply hurt in a previous relationship. If you have difficulty overcoming any past problems that affect your ability to trust others, consider personally consulting a therapist. This person can help you process your feelings and overcome the trauma - you don't necessarily have to do all the work alone.
