It is normal to receive a rejection from a girl: it is an experience that sooner or later happens to everyone. While you may feel hurt or embarrassed, there are various things you can do to get through this moment and get back on the game.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Ask for an Appointment Without Expecting Anything
Step 1. Remind yourself that he may answer yes or no
When you ask a girl out, keep in mind that she has every right to refuse for any reason, as well as you have every right to say "no" to reversed parties. Remember to stay calm if he doesn't accept.
Step 2. Be aware that anyone can be rejected
It's an inevitable part of the dating game. Sooner or later, everyone goes through this experience, and if you want to go out with someone, you'll have to accept the possibility of them saying no. Before asking a girl for a date, remember that:
- Rejection is a normal experience that is part of life;
- Everyone happens to be rejected;
- Refusal is not the same as personal failure.
Step 3. Ask her to come out as clearly as possible
When you're ready, casually approach the girl you're interested in and ask her if she wants to go out with you. Let her know that you like her and that it's not a date with friends. You don't have to use mundane pickup phrases or be extravagant, just tell her honestly how you feel about her.
- If you can, propose something specific. For example, instead of "Do you want to go out?", Ask her, "Would you like to go to the movies?".
- Even if you're scared, avoid putting it off, or you'll be even more nervous about the idea that she may refuse.
Step 4. Accept his answer
If she says "no", don't ask her to reconsider her decision by asking, "Are you sure?" Rather, accept it. This will show you respectful towards him and can put a stone on it.
- If she doesn't accept, say, "Okay, thanks for telling me" or "Okay. I hope to remain your friend."
- If she is rude or tries to embarrass you after you ask her out, it means she has personal insecurities. Close the conversation politely and walk away.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with Rejection
Step 1. Keep in mind that a rejection is not the same as a personal attack
In most cases it is not a personal criticism, even if there is sentimental involvement on your part. If a girl doesn't want to go out with you, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you or that you don't find yourself attractive. Although every experience is different, the common trait is that it is not you who is rejected, but only your invitation.
Step 2. Give yourself time to feel bad
After a rejection, don't be afraid to experience the emotions that follow. Sadness, anger, fear, and similar feelings are usually part of this experience, and as you face them, you will find it less difficult to move forward.
- Don't be afraid to cry or scream when you are alone;
- If you can, share your feelings with a close friend, family member, or therapist. By expressing what you are feeling to someone who offers you support and understanding, you can improve emotionally.
Step 3. Think about why he told you no
While thinking about the rejection you have received can be painful, thinking about it once you are done with pain will help you better understand what happened and put it all behind you. If you think this happened because she doesn't like you in some way, ask yourself if it's something you should change or if it's a simple matter of preference. Also, remember that there are many reasons why she may have said no that have nothing to do with you on a personal level, such as:
- She is too busy to date a boy;
- Has a different sexual orientation than yours;
- Is dealing with personal or emotional problems;
- She is already engaged;
- She has a crush on another guy;
- He wants to be single.
Step 4. Be nice to him even if you feel embarrassed
If you see the girl you like often, it's normal to feel a little embarrassed after a rejection from her. Over time, the tension will ease and you can continue to be friends. However, until then try to treat her as kind, friendly and polite as possible.
- Greet her when you meet her;
- Smile and ask her how she is if you are in close contact;
- Treat her like a friend and you will feel comfortable in the end.
Part 3 of 3: Moving On With Your Life After Rejection
Step 1. Spend your time with other people
Rejection can be an unexpected blessing if it helps you find peace of mind in the company of others. To chase away the sadness, spend carefree moments with your friends and accept invitations you wouldn't normally accept. If you feel up to it, ask some other girl out or go on a blind date.
As you try to build new relationships, you may find a girl even more interesting than the previous one
Step 2. Keep busy cultivating your personal interests
At first, try a new hobby or pursue a pastime you have abandoned. If that's not enough to distract you, try setting a goal you want to achieve. The busier you are, the easier it will be to overcome the rejection you have received. Among the main goals you can set yourself consider:
- Train to participate in a 5km marathon or other athletics event
- Put your creativity to good use by writing a story, painting a picture or even making a short film or a comic sketch;
- Learn a whole new skill, like cooking or woodworking.
Step 3. Resolve if you think his feelings have changed
Even if a girl rejects you once, you may still want to invite her out later. After the initial rejection, give her the space she needs and try to be a good friend. If you get close or if she starts flirting with you, consider asking her for another date.
