There have been conflicts between you and another person and now do you want or are you forced to avoid it? Your resentment could be for different reasons, from minor annoyances to life-threatening episodes. If you are forced to face a conflict situation with someone you can't stand, expulsion can avoid worsening the current situation and the emergence of future disputes. Managing all of this in your virtual world, at school, at work and in the family setting requires specific measures that can be acquired, as long as you are willing to face the situation head on.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Managing Online Contacts
Step 1. Remove the person you hate from your friendships on social networks and select the "Unfollow" option
Each social platform allows you to remove a person from the list of contacts, fans and friends. This will not only allow you to disconnect with the other person, but will also prevent them from viewing the content you post on your profile.
- Change your security settings to align with your goal of avoiding this person.
- You may need to unsubscribe from social networks and close your accounts. You won't be thrilled to do this, but there are times when this is justified.
Step 2. Block your emails
To avoid receiving unwanted messages, add this person to the blocked senders list. Setting the spam filters will allow you to check if this person tries to send you an unsolicited e-mail. You could always delete the message or save it in a special folder, if you need to collect evidence of crimes such as stalking, cyberbullying or online baiting.
There are times when you need paper evidence for potential legal action. Documentary evidence supports a possible cause
Step 3. Don't call or text this person
It may be difficult to avoid calling or texting her. Maybe you would like to tell her what you really think or feel the urgent need to contact her. Either way, both phone calls and text messages could escalate into further unwanted discussions that worsen the situation.
Step 4. Avoid answering his phone calls, text messages and emails
Find the strength to ignore his every attempt to communicate with you. In some cases it can be simple. Remember that this person may be trying to talk to you only to inflict more pain on you. Silence cancels any form of communication and is essential to avoid unwanted relationships.
Part 2 of 4: Handling the Situation at School
Step 1. Change school or class
If you can't stay in control or just need to get away from the person you can't stand, take action. If the situation is serious enough, you should change school or class.
By explaining your situation, perhaps the school principal could be more lenient towards you
Step 2. Talk to the secretary or principal
You should have an interview in private, so call or send an e-mail to make an appointment. If you are not of legal age, the presence of one of your parents will also be required.
- You could say: "It is becoming more and more difficult to be in class with _, so I ask her to move me or the other person. What can be done about it and what is the time required?”.
- The principal and teachers could try to solve the problem without transferring you or the other person to another class. Stay calm, but stand up and make sure your needs are met.
- Be prepared to state why you are making this request.
Step 3. When moving around the institution, choose a different path than usual
Most university faculties have many roads leading to various destinations. Change the route you usually take. If you know the other person's movements well, then take a different path. It may take longer, but this system would help you avoid it.
If you happen to see the other person in the distance, turn around and go in the opposite direction
Step 4. Avoid direct eye contact
There may be times when you unexpectedly find yourself face to face with this person. Averting your gaze and walking away as quickly as possible will prevent you from having unnecessary contact with her. Be prepared for the unexpected.
Step 5. Ask your friends to help you
If your friends are willing to watch your back, they could make your life easier. A friend can raise a human barrier or draw attention elsewhere to allow you to sneak away unnoticed. Make sure you can trust anyone who says they want to help you.
Start chatting with someone you don't know at a party. Approach a person and say, “I need to talk to you right now because I'm trying to avoid a guy. That is fine?". This tactic will not only help you avoid that person, but it will also help you get to know someone you really like
Step 6. Prepare to use a simple loophole to get yourself out of a situation
There will be times when you will have to pretend that you are on the phone, that you have lost your glasses or keys. These tactics can be used to avoid even the most boring people.
- If you see someone you don't want to talk to heading towards you, take out your cell phone and pretend you've received an important phone call. You can turn your back on him and walk away.
- If you are talking to someone and want to interrupt the conversation, pretend to wince and come up with an excuse to leave, like, "Oh, my God. I have to find the keys, I'm sorry, but I have to leave you." You've created a loophole to get away from someone you want to avoid.
Step 7. Appreciate the positive aspects of each situation and learn from your experiences
Some believe that certain people, even the most boring ones, come into our lives to teach us something. Each experience helps us be smarter and better understand what we want from life.
- Sit down and make a list of the things you have learned from your experience.
- Also write down all the positive things that have happened. Each situation always has positive implications.
Part 3 of 4: Managing Work Situations
Step 1. Change job
Regardless of whether you have the option of being able to change jobs or not, this may be the best choice for avoiding someone. The circumstances may be different: there may have been a simple misunderstanding or something serious, such as a sexual harassment report. Maybe you prefer not to quit your job because you like it, so you need to consider other options.
Report all serious allegations to the human resources office which has a duty to help employees resolve any problems
Step 2. Submit the transfer request to another department or area
Places available may be limited, but if you need to get away from the other person, you have to try. Don't worry about being next to someone you can't stand, because you will end up not appreciating your work and adding to your stress.
- You will be asked to provide valid reasons for your request, so be prepared. Write down your problems in advance and bring supporting documentation with you.
- You are neither the first nor the last to request a different work arrangement. This often occurs in any office.
Step 3. Focus on being more productive
Focusing attention on your work and on what you need to do to be more productive will help you avoid a person in the workplace. You have the right to live in a peaceful work environment where you feel safe. Detachment will prevent you from interacting with those who may misunderstand your words or behaviors.
- Take advantage of the moments of pause to order the drawers of your desk, to devote yourself to physical activity or to read a magazine.
- Enjoy being alone. Use your time to meditate, practice yoga or write poetry - these systems will help you get through the stressful period you may be going through.
Step 4. Choose a different working time from that of the other person
In many companies, employees take turns in shifts that vary in length and working days during the week. If you are in this position, you can request a different shift. If your job has a common working time for everyone, from 9:00 to 17:00, you don't have many alternatives, but you can always avoid your breaks, including lunch, from coinciding with those of the other person.
Step 5. Don't accept invitations
Be polite, but decline invitations to meetings the other person attends. Depending on the severity of the case, you will need to avoid embarrassing or risky situations.
If you want to spend time with your colleagues, you decide when to meet
Step 6. Don't feel uncomfortable when you want to walk away from a situation
It's awful to feel awkward during a social event - you may feel pressured if your boss is around or if you fear being judged by your colleagues. Feel free to say, “Guys, I have to go. I have to go on a long journey”or to invent any other excuse.
- There may be times when you apologize for having to use the bathroom and leave without notifying anyone. This behavior is also acceptable, as your goal is to distance yourself from the person you are trying to avoid and get yourself out of an awkward situation.
- If you walk away without warning, send a message to someone you trust to tell them that you have left, so you will avoid arousing concern, especially if you have found yourself in a conflict situation with someone.
Step 7. Be civilized in case of an unexpected reaction
There is the possibility that you have to relate to the other person for a business matter. Use common sense: keep calm and carry out your task to avoid problems. Do not respond to the other person's provocations.
- Stay in control until the interaction ends. Congratulate yourself on a job well done.
- Think positive. Defuse the situation by not transcending into mental ruminations, discussions, problems or complaints, if you have contact with the other person. Take a calm and optimistic attitude that cannot be demolished by the embarrassing or negative situation.
- Focusing on the positives will prevent you from getting involved in unconventional controversy.
- Nobody can influence you if you take a positive attitude. If you react to a comment that upsets you, you will grant too much power to your interlocutor. You have to take control and responsibility for your emotions and actions. It is an important task.
Step 8. Try to gain a new perspective
It is important to look at the situation from the right perspective. When you realize that life goes on, despite problems with someone, you are able to turn your upset into relief. You can leave it all behind and review your priorities.
If you try to ignore what happened, but the past continues to haunt you, then you will probably have to try to process other emotions
Part 4 of 4: Addressing More Serious Matters
Step 1. Set limits
Whether you have problems with your mother-in-law, a cousin who abuses drugs, or an uncle who engages in ambiguous behavior with your child, you need to communicate your intentions and expectations in the best possible way. Your decision to avoid this person is probably justified by complex relationships.
- If you live with the person you want to avoid, you might say, “You need to know that I intend to distance myself from the problem we are going through. I think cutting off relationships is the right thing to do. Do you agree that it is better to stay away from each other? ".
- If he lives elsewhere it will be easier to handle the situation. You can end relationships by not phoning her or sending her messages or emails. Avoid any kind of interaction.
Step 2. Don't attend family reunions
Many people experience excessive tension during family gatherings. If you want to avoid a person who could be a source of problems for you, offer your apologies and decline the invitation.
Propose and organize separate meetings. However, avoid overlapping events so as not to put your loved ones in a position to have to choose between you and the other person. This would only further aggravate your relationship
Step 3. Try to have contact only in the presence of other people
Maybe you have a relative you don't trust for some reason, so you don't want to be alone with them. Regardless of the reason, always carry a witness with you if you are forced to interact with this person. Safety always takes priority over everything.
Step 4. See a specialist to help you manage your emotions and thoughts
If you are unable to overcome the anxiety generated by this person, you could benefit from talking to a psychologist. You can search online for the list of psychologists and psychiatrists who work in your area of residence.
Step 5. Contact a lawyer if necessary
In the event that the situation escalates, you may need the help of a lawyer. Quarrels can be more or less serious and there may be times when it would be preferable for you to avoid any kind of relationship with someone. Lawsuits, on purpose, always pit one side against the other. Anything you say or do could be used against you, so your lawyer would be able to guide you through the process.
Step 6. Request a restraining order, if necessary
The person you are trying to avoid may have serious problems. If you feel threatened, request a restraining order to keep her from approaching. If you violate the order, you can request police intervention.
Advice
- You can always come up with an excuse to get away from any situation.
- Don't let the situation take center stage. You have more constructive things to think about and do.
- Get on with your life. Regardless of the reason you want to avoid this person, you need to regroup and get over the problem.
- You may be blown away if you meet her in person. You can just say hello and go ahead or say nothing. Be prepared for both alternatives.
- Taking a civil and calm behavior in all situations will have positive effects.
- If you or someone you know are victims of bullying, contact the competent authorities to report the incident.
- Maintain security at all costs. Make sure that you or a loved one never have relationships with a person who should be avoided at all costs.
Warnings
- If you have been subjected to a restraining order, if you violate the terms of the order you can run into legal problems. The purpose of the law is to protect your safety and that of others. It is preferable to respect the terms of the measure taken against you or other people.
- React according to the severity of the problem. If you are in the midst of a contentious procedure in which any form of communication is prohibited, then you must be extremely careful not to communicate with the other person.
- The laws intended to control the crime of stalking vary from state to state. If you are a victim of stalking, you must report it to someone in authority, which can be a parent, teacher, church member, police officer or lawyer.
