It is not easy to avoid people, especially when they are looking for your company. However, there are some steps you can take to make yourself go missing if you want to avoid a particular person or just need to take a break from your social life. Try to understand the reasons that push you to this choice and keep in mind that you will hardly be able to keep people away.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Avoiding People in General
Step 1. Consider why you want to avoid people
Many people are naturally introverted and just need time to recharge after interacting with others. However, if you suffer from depression or social anxiety, don't underestimate the possibility of getting help.
- It is perfectly normal to have a reserved temperament. Those who are introverted tend to focus their mental energies on themselves, while those with a more expansive character recharge more in the company of people. So, give yourself the time and space to do whatever it takes to keep your balance.
- If you're not sure if you're the introverted type or want to get to know your character better, try taking a personality test, like the Myers-Briggs one. Remember that while it can give you a general idea of your character, it doesn't go into detail.
- Social phobia, also called social anxiety disorder, can generate a strong shyness or feed the fear of interacting with people so much that those affected are unable to relate to those they do not know, talk to people or face certain social situations.. His discomfort is characterized by the fear of being judged or criticized based on his appearance, what he says or what others might think. If you believe you have an anxiety disorder, consider seeing a psychologist or psychotherapist.
- Depression is characterized by a deep sense of sadness and hopelessness, accompanied by a loss of interest or pleasure in anything that once piqued one's interest. Many people with depression withdraw from friends, family and loved ones, but with their support they can recover. If you think you are suffering from depression, talk to someone - a friend, relative, or anyone close to you. Also, consider seeing a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Step 2. Stay home
The best way to avoid people is to stay home. You will find a lot of people around, so don't go out.
- Read a book or watch a movie. Browse the Internet. Play one of your favorite games. Dedicate yourself to whatever stimulates your imagination.
- Consider turning off your phone or putting it on silent mode. Disable chat apps, including Messenger, Skype, or Google Messenger.
- Keep in mind that it won't be a lasting solution. Staying home for a day is one thing. Locking yourself indoors for a week or a month is a different kettle of fish.
Step 3. Don't show yourself available
If you can't help but go out, you can assume certain attitudes and send out certain signals that will prevent people from approaching.
- Don't look into the eyes. It is said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Eye contact can communicate to those in front of you the intention to interact: it establishes an approach and confirms the existence of a mutual understanding. To avoid making eye contact with someone, look at your phone, a book, your surroundings, or your feet.
- Wear headphones or earphones. Listen to music, follow a podcast show, or put on headphones just to discourage those around you. Whether you're sitting on a park bench, traveling by train, or walking down the street, people will be more hesitant to approach if you're wearing headphones.
- Read. Look down at a book, newspaper, Kindle or iPad. Focus on what you are reading and people will be less likely to bother you.
Step 4. Go to a distant place
If you want to avoid people, go where you can't find them.
- Consider going camping on a weekend. Get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Study which area to go to and plan to travel.
- Visit a natural park. See if there are protected areas, parks and nature reserves in your vicinity. Go on a long hike or sit back and enjoy the silence. Obtain the necessary permits for access and respect the park regulations.
- Keep in mind that even in a forest you might meet someone. There are billions of people on Earth, so it will be very difficult to avoid them all. If you meet someone, be courteous, say hello and continue on your way.
Part 2 of 2: Avoid a Specific Person
Step 1. Learn his schedules and habits
If you know where it might be at any given time, you'll be able to avoid it more easily.
- If you don't know where he works, find out and avoid the area. If it's a colleague, ask your manager if he can change your shifts.
- Avoid going to parties and meetings where you are sure she will show up or try to arrive at a different time so you don't see her all the time. If you have organized an event on the Internet, check the guest list before attending.
Step 2. Change your habits
Think about the times and places you usually meet her and avoid being in these situations. If you keep crossing her, you could get her out of the way by changing your habits.
- If you can't avoid situations in which you usually see her - for example, at school or at work - take more drastic measures: change class or look for another job. Try interacting with other people so you don't find yourself alone with her.
- Change your route to school or work. Take a different path even when you get home. If you normally see someone after school, consider going straight home.
- If you are worried that someone is following or watching you, change your habits more often. Never take the same road to get home. Talk to your parents, a teacher, or a friend you trust.
Step 3. Avoid it on social networks
Ignore their messages and pay attention to the personal information you post. When you have a profile in the virtual world, your life may be more public than you realize.
- Consider blocking her on Facebook. You could unfriend her and change your privacy settings so she can't see the items you post. This measure may be necessary if it doesn't stop bothering you.
- Delete it from all profiles opened on social networks: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and so on. The fewer contacts you have, the easier it will be to avoid it.
- Keep in mind that if you block or delete someone from a social profile, they may notice and clearly understand that you don't want to interact with them. With this attitude you risk making the situation degenerate.
Step 4. Don't answer unknown numbers
Let the phone ring until the answering machine starts. If you block someone from contacting you, they may hide their number or use other people's phone.
- If the Callsign says "anonymous" or "unknown", do not answer. Those looking for you will leave a message on the answering machine or find another way to get in touch with you if they have to tell you something important.
- If you want to find out a private number, try using Whooming. It is a free service that allows you to discover anonymous numbers using the call forwarding technique. Alternatively, you could rely on Override. It is a tool made available directly by telephone operators, so it is paid.
- Consider blocking her number so that she won't be able to call you on her phone.
Step 5. Avoid making eye contact with her
Eye contact communicates an intention to interact, so people might interpret it as an invitation to talk.
- If you happen to lay your eyes on her, look away. Ignore it and find someone else to interact with.
- If you have to move somewhere and you meet her on your way, try to keep some distance. Before moving, try to wait for her to leave so as not to give her the opportunity to strike up a conversation.
Step 6. Avoid being alone with her
The more people there are, the safer you are. So, try to hang out and talk to others, so that you don't risk interacting alone with who you are trying to avoid.
- If you are in a group, he may find it difficult to get close. Wherever you go - to class, to the canteen or even to the bathroom - try to have someone accompany you.
- If you can't help but interact with her alone, try to end the conversation as soon as possible. Don't give her the comfort to keep talking. Find an excuse ("I have to go to class" or "I have a date") and walk away.
Step 7. Consider getting a restraining order if you believe you are in danger
If you're trying to avoid someone who won't leave you alone, you can turn to the authorities to fix this.
- The restraining order allows you to protect yourself in various ways. You can get it to prevent someone from harassing you, to forbid them from going near the places you usually frequent and to force them not to show up at your home.
- If it gets you in trouble, call someone. Tell a friend, family member, teacher, or adult you trust. Make sure someone who knows you knows where you are.
- If you are in serious danger, call 113. Tell us your name, where you are and who is following you. Go to a safe place, such as a classroom, a shop, a friend's house, or a busy area. If necessary, lock yourself in the bathroom and call 113.
Step 8. Consider facing it
It can be stressful to constantly avoid a person. You may be able to solve the problem by talking to her directly.
- Reflect on the whole situation and organize your speech down to the smallest detail. Who is the cause of this problem? You or who is bothering you? Try to keep your emotions in check. Be calm, patient and rational.
- Watch out. Think about how it might react. If you are concerned that it may become violent, consider intervening by a third person, such as a friend or family member, or consult a conflict mediator.
