A little worry is healthy. It allows us to think about the future and prepares us to face any unfortunate events. However, when we worry too much, our entire life can feel miserable as we take on an excessive and unnecessary amount of stress. Read and follow the steps in the article to learn how to keep worries under control and regain your passion for life.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Reduce Sources of Concern
Step 1. Stop stacking objects
Although modern technology is smaller and more useful than ever, each of us seems to tend to surround ourselves with things of things of little importance and of little use. Finding the time to get rid of the superfluous might seem like a pain, but once you do you will be happy with the effort.
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Get rid of anything you haven't used in a year or more, unless it's something terribly expensive or a family good. Sell your items on eBay or donate them to a charity, get rid of all the extras like dishes, clothes, toys, DVDs, etc.
Long-time unused expensive or family possessions should be carefully boxed and stored in a safe place, such as a basement, garage, or rarely opened closet
Step 2. Assign spaces
One of the most common prescriptions of psychologists in the treatment of insomnia is to reserve the bedroom for sleep and intimate relationships. By creating a space dedicated to specific activities you will be able to convince your brain to engage as soon as you enter the designated place. Make a commitment to follow this method whenever the space at your disposal allows it:
- Remove the television, computer, desk, and other possible distractions from the bedroom. Reserve space for books and clothes. Spend time in the bedroom only while changing clothes, choosing a book, going to sleep or sleeping. Don't read in bed.
- Tidy up and make room in the dining room and on the table where you eat. Limit the use of the table to meals, study and small bookkeeping. Promise yourself to wash dishes and pots after every meal.
- Take care of your kitchen. It is rare to get so many dishes dirty that they cannot be washed in half an hour in the evening. Tidy up and clean the kitchen every day so you can continue cooking without worrying about clutter.
- Do time-consuming activities in a study or living room. Keep your computer, TV, consoles and other similar items in a specific area. Train your brain to associate these areas with recreation and your hobbies. In this way you can take care of the other areas of the house in a more functional and efficient way.
Step 3. Consider deleting the TV
For some it might be a drastic change, but television shows can negatively interact with our daily schedule. However, there are many who after only a few days tend to realize that the lack of television is not as strong as they thought. If you really can't help it, record your favorite shows and watch them in your spare time.
- Either way, resist the temptation to turn on the TV just because it's available. When you start watching it, you are often led to not respect the time you planned to dedicate to it, risking having to carry out all your subsequent commitments in a hurry.
- Reducing the time spent browsing the web is also a good idea. However, there are many people who use the net for their daily work and practical commitments. If you think it might be too difficult, start by eliminating the TV and see the effects.
Part 2 of 4: Get organized
Step 1. Give yourself a budget
One of the simplest and most effective steps you can take to reduce the worries in your life is to plan your expenses. There is nothing difficult or mysterious about this task:
- Track your expenses for a week or two. Don't worry about checking them for now, spend as you normally would. You can keep track of them with the help of your mobile device or a paper diary.
- Divide the outgoings into purchase categories. For example, separating the expenses incurred to buy fuel from those made to fuel yourself, have fun or indulge in an unnecessary item or service. Look at each category and multiply by the days of the month to get an estimate of spending.
- Add a category reserved for bills and a specific one for savings (if you're saving money). Here is your spending forecast. Do what you can to respect it by keeping worries away and avoiding the tensions of daily shopping choices.
- Your spending forecast will help you make any changes in order to save money. Likewise, you can plan to spend less in a certain category. Reduce the spending budget of one category for the benefit of another. Respect the established ceiling for the change to be effective.
- Program with flexibility. Different days may require different approaches. Maybe you are used to ordering a pizza delivery every Monday night, or having a meeting with friends on Saturday afternoon. Be aware of your habits and do a mind check of the day every morning. Reserve time for daily commitments by giving yourself a small free period to be able to deal with any unforeseen events with flexibility.
Step 2. Plan your time
Just as you can plan your money management, you can plan your time. Since your purpose is to reduce worries, rather than increase them, make it your goal to optimize the time you have at your disposal, instead of burdening yourself with countless daily tasks.
- Establish a sleep pattern. Respect it, even on weekends. Give yourself a one-hour bedtime window, and set a restrictive wake-up time. Make sure that the amount of time from when you go to sleep to when your new day begins includes an hour more than the amount of time you really need, so you don't have to worry about being able to fall asleep immediately.
- Take care of your homework at the same time every day. Plan and dedicate time to your personal hygiene, travel, work, shopping, meals and housework. Add time for those tasks you do almost daily, such as school homework, exercise, or a hobby. Order them efficiently to meet your needs. All the remaining time will be your free time, use it to relax or to do whatever you like.
- Try planning out-of-home commitments to maximize your free time. For example, you can plan to shop on your way back from work to avoid having to go out again.
- For many people, an irregular agenda makes planning ahead of time difficult; in this case, plan to follow an ordered daily agenda anyway, interchanging the different commitments.
Part 3 of 4: Taking Command of Your Mind
Step 1. Cultivate empty moments
It's easy to fill every spare moment of the day with apps from your smartphone, social media, television, books, and hobbies, but that's not always a good idea. Sometimes what you need may not be a distraction, but a moment for yourself. There isn't a lot of free time in a day, at least for most people, but it won't be hard to find two five-minute moments where you can forget everything and be alone with your thoughts.
Use your free time to think about what you want or just lie down and observe your surroundings. Don't fill it with something that requires your attention like reading a book or using your smartphone
Step 2. Take some time to clear your mind
Even the most overworked adult can find half an hour a week and dedicate it quietly to meditation and reflection. Meditation is a powerful technique for organizing one's thoughts, feelings, and all it requires is a quiet place free from too many distractions. Sit comfortably and focus on your breathing until the flow of your thoughts begins to quiet down. This way you will be able to review them without feeling overwhelmed.
Use this to set weekly goals or to remind yourself of tasks that need to be completed quickly, such as shopping for dinner or mowing the yard. During meditation, feel free to keep a paper and a pen handy and write down important thoughts that come to your mind. You can use your notes to plan the week ahead and reduce the chaos
Step 3. Be rational
People often worry about things they have limited control over, such as the weather, waiting for an important phone call, or the judgment of others. Although it is obvious that our worries cannot affect the outcome, we often struggle to get rid of these thoughts. However, that doesn't mean you can't do your best to remind yourself of the futility of worrying. Make a conscious effort to focus your attention elsewhere, and let events take their course after you've done your best.
Try to respect yourself. If something does not go as you hoped, mentally review the course of events and try to focus on what you did well or your efforts, rather than your possible mistakes. Sometimes, the results have little to do with our actions, and are more related to those of others. By constantly criticizing yourself, you will only increase your worries when a similar situation arises, risking making a mistake dictated by nervousness. You believe you have done your best, and that you will do the same next time. There is no reason to get upset about past events
Part 4 of 4: Finding Reasons to Enjoy Your Life
Step 1. Throw yourself headlong
Often your worries will not leave you, whether you have successfully completed a task or not. In spite of those things that do not depend on our actions (as mentioned above) there are many activities that you can do on your own. Pick one you've always wanted to do, improve, or resume and dive in hard.
- Remember that you have nothing to lose by trying to do something just for your own enjoyment. There is therefore no reason to worry about the quality of the results. Just compete with yourself and do your best not to think about the opinions of others.
- Keep trying and doing the things that interest you. You will be successful more times than you think and you will start to worry a lot less when you realize that 75% of success is simply related to choosing to go out and try. People who seem to be successful and happy are no different than you, they just don't allow their worries to stop them from continuing to try.
- The things you do don't have to be important or meaningful to anyone but you. You can choose a new hobby, like sewing or martial arts, or you can just make a commitment to be more smiling in the workplace. The given goals are yours alone and it's up to you to try to achieve them. Pursue that something you've always wanted to achieve. The frequency of positive results will be greater than negative ones.
Step 2. Live in the moment
Don't be obsessed with the future, stay focused on the here and now. It is okay to plan your life and give yourself goals to achieve, but the most important thing is to live your life in the present without worrying about what it was in the past or what it might be in the future.
- Practice self-acceptance. As mentioned earlier, excessive self-criticism is a major source of concern. A part of ourselves listens to what we say to each other, whether we like it or not. If you don't stop being hard on yourself, you won't be able to fully enjoy your life. Tell yourself that you will do better next time and learn to feel proud of yourself and happy for the steps you have taken, see how your life improves thanks to your choices.
- Remember that people tend to be self-centered. When you act or err in an embarrassing way your worries can seek revenge by blocking your life with countless doubts and fears. We all make mistakes sometimes, and often those around us tend to forget or lose interest in them quickly. No one is obsessing over your every move, and most people will have forgotten your words within a few weeks. There is no reason to continue to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Step 3. Consider the blessings received
Like many ancient adages and proverbs this passage should be repeated over and over for its enormous wisdom. Put aside your resistance to clichés and think about all the benefits you have. You are reading this article on the internet, this means that you own or can pay for web access. It also means you can read, which not all people know how to do. Even a life that appears hopeless and desperate actually contains a lot of abundance. Look for yours and remind yourself to be grateful for it every day.
- Put your life in context. If you live in a building with a roof and walls, be grateful rather than feeling humble or shabby. If you don't have a home to stay in, be thankful for the clothes that cover you. If you've been having a hard time due to bad weather be grateful it's over. Be grateful that you can think for yourself, grasping the beauty and dreaming of the best for your future.
- If you are reading this, it means that your life includes something that you can appreciate no matter what situation you are in. Think about it whenever you find yourself pausing to mull over your worries instead of on the go trying to enjoy life.
Step 4. Limit your responsibilities
Some people worry because they tend to take charge and care of everyone around them, or because they can't help but perceive problems in the world feeling like they never do enough to fix them. Supporting and helping people is a good choice, but taking your responsibilities to the extreme will only make you frustrated and nervous. Make a conscious effort to remind yourself that other people, just like you, are more capable than they think, and that you don't always need to help everyone.
- People used to always having someone to take care of them, like spoiled children, struggle with the adult world. For this reason, sometimes not helping means giving the best kind of help.
- It is also important to remember that you are not the only one taking care of social problems and helping charities. Sharing the burden of responsibilities is sometimes the only way to make them bearable. This does not mean giving up caring for others, but being proud of your actions and not thinking that they are never enough. I am.
- Give yourself a limit. This could be a time limit, which is the time spent helping others, or monetary, such as money spent supporting a good cause. More simply, it could also be a limit on the time you spend worrying about the world's problems. Set yourself a limit on the type of engagement dedicated to the problems and causes that worry you.
- Remember that worrying can never solve any kind of problem. Plus there are things that can't be solved no matter how hard you want to. After a certain limit, make an effort to put aside your worries and do what it takes to respect that limit.
Step 5. Trust yourself
In our days, there are some things that no one can really control: the weather, natural disasters, death and other unstoppable forces that are part of life on planet Earth. Learn to trust your ability to deal with them. You cannot change the behavior of some facts and the only thing you can really do is be prepared to face them. Trust yourself.
- For example, thousands of people are victims of road accidents every year; nevertheless people continue to drive cars because they have confidence in their abilities while doing their best to avoid this possibility. Drive safely, wear seat belts, learn from past mistakes and quickly respond to changes on the road ahead. Engage in the same behavior with any uncontrollable force you face in your life.
- Preparing for unfortunate events is reasonable. Supplies of water and food, first aid kits and fire extinguishers are wise investments. However, make sure your actions are aimed at easing your worries rather than magnifying them. Don't make them an urgency and don't expect to be prepared for every little eventuality. The goal is to find a reasonable balance to be able to say I've done enough before you can continue with your daily life.
Advice
- Use your time wisely. Relax and give yourself time to do all those things that calm you down. However, make sure they are not an additional source of stress.
- If you are concerned about your health, consult an experienced doctor. Avoid self-diagnoses; they only add to your worries and are also very likely to be wrong.
- When we are worried we tend to think too much.
