Apologizing can be difficult, especially if you are truly sorry for what you did. However, if you are in a relationship with a guy, there are a few ways to get him to forgive you. Of course, one of the first things to do is to apologize openly and sincerely.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Coping With What You Did
Step 1. Admit it to yourself
When you make a mistake, you must first confess it to yourself. As human beings, we always tend to try to get better by mentally making excuses that justify what we have done. However, if you are going to ask someone to forgive you, first you need to admit that what you did was wrong, without trying to provide an explanation.
Step 2. Create a detachment from emotions
It is easy to say, you have to distance yourself from any emotion that prompts you to find excuses. If you were angry when you made the mistake, you will most likely want to use that anger in your defense, but the truth is that you cannot seriously apologize until you accept that you are solely responsible for what you did. The task of attributing any blame for what happened to him also belongs to him alone.
Step 3. Make your apologies in advance and write them down
You won't have to read them to your boyfriend, writing will help you stop justifying yourself or trying to explain what you've done. Focus on assuming your responsibilities and making amends.
Part 2 of 3: Talk to Your Boyfriend
Step 1. Don't wait
Many people have a natural tendency to put off things they don't want to do. The best thing you can do, however, is to apologize right away, without waiting any longer. If not, your boyfriend will feel more and more angry or hurt.
Step 2. Choose the right time
Don't try to be forgiven while he is watching the game or immersed in a pleasant read. Find a time when there is nothing else to distract him, then ask him to speak. If he is already aware of what you have done, he will most likely understand the topic of the conversation. If, on the other hand, you need to confess your mistake, it may not be easy for him to be able to guess it.
Step 3. Show repentance
This means that you need to convey your displeasure through an attitude and tone of voice that suggests that you sincerely regret what you did. Don't try to make her laugh or downplay what happened. Look him in the eye and apologize in a serious tone of voice.
For example, you might say, "I'm really, really sorry for what I've done."
Step 4. Take Your Responsibilities
Now is the time to admit that what you did was wrong even in front of your boyfriend. This involves openly describing your mistake to acknowledge that you know exactly what you did.
For example, you could say, "I know that when I made fun of you I hurt your feelings, I should have thought before speaking. I know this is a sensitive subject for you."
Step 5. Explain what you could have done better
As a last step, you need to make him understand that you will be able to behave better in the future. This is the part where you can start trying to raise the situation. You can't change the past, but you can discuss how you intend to change your behavior in the future.
After apologizing, you might say, "Next time I'll try to bite my tongue before speaking. You deserve more respect from me, I love and respect you and I intend to prove it with my actions."
Step 6. Let it replicate
If he just found out what happened, he will most likely be angry. Allow him to voice his anger, without trying to defend you. You need to give him a chance to talk about it, even if he was already aware of your wrong behavior, to allow him to explain to you what he feels and why. Give him the opportunity to explain why what you did hurt him.
You can offer him the opportunity to speak by saying, "How does what I just said make you feel?"
Step 7. Accept his feelings
Show him understanding for the emotions he is feeling. Let him know that you are interested in listening to him and that you understand his pain.
One way to show him that you are paying attention to his words is to repeat them. That is to say, for example: "What you are telling me is that when I make this kind of joke you feel belittled and offended. I fully understand it and it is right that you feel that way."
Part 3 of 3: Go further
Step 1. Give him the space he needs
Sometimes, when a person is very disappointed or angry, they just need time to process what happened. It may take a few days to reflect on what you have done, this is normal. He needs time to feel ready to get over what happened.
Step 2. Don't argue
If you're trying to get someone to forgive you, there's no way you can do it by fighting. In other words, after apologizing, drop the subject. You will not get him to forgive you by claiming that he is right.
Step 3. Surprise him with something he loves
If you feel you need to do something to show him you're sorry, surprise him. You can make him cookies with your own hands or give him something you know he considers important. Making a thoughtful gesture will show him that you still care.
Step 4. Accept that everyone makes mistakes
For your relationship to go on, you need your boyfriend to forgive you, but you also need to forgive yourself. Every once in a while everyone gets it wrong, and in the grand scheme of things what you've done is probably not that bad. Even if you made a really big mistake, you shouldn't blame yourself forever - give yourself permission to stop feeling bad about it.
This doesn't mean you should completely forget about it. Learning from your mistakes is critical to making better choices in the future
Step 5. Understand that he doesn't have to forgive you
As much as you would like him to do it, there is no law that forces him to do so. You may simply have to learn from this mistake you made and work through what happened next to another person.
