Your boyfriend has done something you don't like and you don't know if his attitude is forgivable. You feel confused, hurt, and you need guidance. Learning to distinguish between mistakes and unforgivable offenses is an important step in your growth and in learning how to behave in the right way in a relationship.
Steps
Step 1. Think about how bad the situation is
Was it an innocent joke or a gesture that embarrassed you in front of everyone?
Step 2. Do many people know about the problem?
Step 3. Did he cheat on you?
If the answer is yes, think about it and ask yourself if he would do it again. Many guys put horns on their girlfriends and this means that they don't care about their partner's emotions and feelings. It is not worth continuing.
Step 4. Did you share difficult times together?
For example, have you lost someone who was dear to both of you?
Step 5. Likewise, did you share happy moments?
When one of them was sick, was the other there to help him and make him feel better?
Step 6. Do you continue to apologize?
He is likely to feel truly guilty. If he doesn't, this means that he doesn't care about having you around. To him you are just an "extra" in his life.
Step 7. Think:
was he always nice to me? Could I consider him a true friend? Have you ever said things to make me feel happy when I'm sad? Have you ever told me I'm "beautiful" instead of just "sexy" or "pretty"?
Step 8. Does he say goodnight or say some sweet words when we say goodbye?
Step 9. If the offense is small, just forgive it
Life is too short to fixate on useless details. His apologies are not necessary but it would be nice to receive them anyway.
Step 10. Consider whether he has done a similar gesture in the past as well
If it's the first time, chances are he won't repeat the mistake and he's really sorry.
Step 11. Remember:
You shouldn't ignore him and turn down an apology if he has been perfect with you up to that point. We all make mistakes and you should forgive him if it is an isolated event.
Step 12. Tell him that you forgive him if he sincerely apologizes and if you are sure he will not make the mistake again
If not, wait until the time is right.
Step 13. Remember, if this is your first time and it is a minor thing, forgive him
It may be that you haven't even realized what hurts you and what doesn't.
Step 14. Give yourself some time to reflect, but if you find that you cannot overcome this problem, perhaps the best thing for the future and for both of you is to end the story
Step 15. If the guy hurts you psychologically and intentionally, this is a clear sign that the relationship is not healthy and you should leave him right away
Step 16. If the guy has put his hands on you even once, you shouldn't forgive him for any reason
Get away from him and seek outside help (a doctor or lawyer). Even if the relationship is serious and you live together, you should still find a safe place to stay and seek professional help before deciding what to do.
Advice
- Remember, if you are truly indecisive, talk to him and make a promise that he won't hurt you again. Follow your heart.
- Don't feel compassion and don't seek revenge.
