Do you really want to make a guy go crazy about you the same way you feel about him? While you certainly can't force someone to have certain feelings, you can still do your best so that what they feel about you can turn into something deeper. Here are some helpful tips on how to charm a guy while still being yourself.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Focus on You
Step 1. Be confident
You have to show this person how awesome you are, but first of all, you have to know yourself. Develop your self-esteem if you are fundamentally insecure. Of course, this doesn't mean becoming arrogant, chatty, overly lively or too brash, but rather you have to be able to find your balance so that you can feel comfortable with yourself.
- You can certainly be confident, sweet and humble at the same time. But you need to be aware that you have to get involved. Guys like girls who are confident, capable of being interesting and independent.
- The only guys who like insecure girls are the ones who are insecure themselves and want to dominate other people. And who would ever want a guy who always makes sure you feel uncomfortable or who always tells you how to behave? It would certainly not be a healthy solution, and you deserve much better.
Step 2. Take maximum care of your appearance
While still being yourself, make a commitment to always be your best when you're around guys. You will need to get a few more chances, since "sight" is an important element for kids. Most importantly though, when you are at your best… you will feel at your best - thus giving you that degree of confidence you need to bring out your awesome personality.
- A trickle of makeup can do wonders. You don't need to color your face by area, a little mascara makes your eyes bigger, the lip gloss makes your smile brighter and a pair of tweezers can really be useful for fixing nightmare eyebrows.
- Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Don't force yourself into a super fitted skirt if it doesn't fit your usual style. A pair of jeans that fit you perfectly and a top that brings out the color of your eyes is certainly a safe combination, but it can be just as breathtaking.
- Smile a lot - studies have amply shown that smiling makes people more attractive… so don't hesitate to show your teeth as often as you can to look prettier, friendlier and more approachable.
Step 3. Make your presence known
You can't please a guy if he doesn't even know you exist. If he hasn't noticed you yet, then make him notice you. Make sure you show a little interest and throw in some little tips to let him know you like him.
- Many guys won't ask you out because they're afraid of being rejected. Go step by step, you have to learn to walk before you can run, right? Just a simple "Hello", wave your hand … when he reciprocates, you will know that you have attracted his attention.
- Find ways to introduce yourself and start conversing. It is nearly impossible to please someone if that person has no way of getting to know you better… unless they are interested for a variety of wrong reasons.
Step 4. Try to be witty
Having a good sense of humor makes everything easier. Sure it doesn't mean being goose, or laughing at whatever comes your way, but it does mean you shouldn't take yourself too seriously and have the laugh ready, especially when the guy you have a crush on is around.
- If you are too serious or always have a long face, they may think that you are not very sociable or even find you threatening, which is not exactly the impression you want to give.
- Express your sense of humor in your own way. Some use wit and sarcasm, others make jokes or tell funny anecdotes, still others simply act funny or ridicule themselves.
- Regardless of what teases your humor, sharing a good laugh with someone makes it easier. If you find nothing to joke about with this person, you will probably find that in the end, you don't really like him that much.
Step 5. Make it clear that you are available
A guy will never come forward if he thinks you're already with someone else, so you need to make it clear that you are single and open to a possible relationship.
- If you have a Facebook account and he is not yet among your contacts, invite him; just make sure your status is actually "single"! Wearing a bracelet that says "SINGLE" can also work, they are cute, very noticeable, and communicate that you are ready to get involved in a relationship.
- If you don't want to wear any bracelets and he's already in your contacts, let him know you like him in other, more subtle ways … like hanging out with your friends and going somewhere you know you meet him, or making subtle jokes about not you know who to go to an event with, and so on.
- Letting your friends know this is probably a good idea - they can help you with dating strategies, and also ease the tension of possible awkward situations. It is also useful for the simple reason that, being aware of your interest, they will leave you the field.
Part 2 of 3: Deepening Mutual Knowledge
Step 1. Don't be afraid to be friends with him
Being her friend first of all gives both of you a great advantage: you get to know each other without the embarrassment of being involved in a committed relationship. Treat him casually, as you would any other friend.
- Guys usually tend to open up more to other guys than to girls, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can't get closer - in fact, that's when the magic happens.
- Be warned though: if it gets too platonic, you may lose that romantic connection that is sometimes difficult to restore once your relationship is moved into the "friendship only" zone.
- If this is the case, things can get too complicated and you may be tempted to resign yourself. A little flirtation during your bond will keep things going right.
Step 2. Talk to him
This may sound pretty obvious, but actually talking to the guy you like (rather than watching him from afar) is absolutely important when it comes to getting him to like you.
- Ask him some thought-provoking questions; find out about his life, his family, his friends. Tell him funny stories. Anything that can lead you to converse.
- If you can get him to talk about something he's passionate about - whether it's his favorite team, a band, an author - then you're on the right track. When he talks to you about something he particularly likes, he will begin to associate the positive emotions he feels with your presence.
Step 3. Give him compliments
While it may sound surprising to you, guys appreciate compliments as much as girls, so don't be afraid to tell him something nice from time to time. Of course, showering him with fake compliments isn't a good idea - you'll come off as a fake person.
- Appreciate something about her appearance, like her dimples or her new haircut. Just be careful not to overdo it, guys can be quite shy about this kind of thing. A simple "I love the color of your eyes" is all you need to say.
- However, compliments don't necessarily have to be related to looks alone. If he is talking to you about something he particularly loves, you can also tell him that you admire his enthusiasm. Or you can compliment him on his sporting performance or tell him how good he was at the class test.
Step 4. Do things together
Finding activities to enjoy together can really create a solid bond between you and make him discover how fun and interesting you are. Once he begins to see you as a person to share interests and passions with, he may look at you from a different angle… as a potential girlfriend.
- If he thinks he's the new "Balotelli", go to all the games or drills he invites you to and cheer him on. If he likes climbing rocks, ask him to show you how, and really make an effort to understand why he likes it so much. I mean, keep an open mind.
- You can also invite him to share some of your interests. For example, take him to a dance class or have him try some unusual ethnic cuisine. Finding that you are someone capable of introducing him to new and exciting experiences, he will surely be drawn to you.
Step 5. Find common interests
Find out what you have in common… and use it to your advantage. Shared interests are the foundation of many successful relationships, so you shouldn't underestimate this step.
- It doesn't matter what this interest actually is, it can be as simple as being able to recite a few lines from a show you both watch, as well as something super complicated like a passion for astrophysics - what matters is that he can notice. affinity and seeing you as a kind of soul mate.
- For example, if you both love a certain type of music, ask him if he listens to a particular artist and offer to put on a CD for him. Or if a band you both like is coming to your area to do a concert, invite them to go together.
Step 6. Get to know his friends
Guys love their friends, so it's essential that the potential girlfriend get along too. For this reason, it can be very valuable to invest your time to get to know them and try to impress them too. This is to let him know how easily you can be part of his life, without complications or drama.
- If you can get his friends to your side, that's an added bonus. They will be impressed and will talk about you when they are with him, even if you are not there. This will ensure that you are always in his thoughts.
- Be careful though. You don't have to flirt with his friends. This will send confusing signals and you may give the impression that you are not a serious person.
Part 3 of 3: Go further
Step 1. Play a little flirtatious
Once you both get to know each other better and date each other regularly, you can start pushing a little. Using flirting as a weapon, show him you're interested in something beyond just friendship - it might just be a sign that he might be waiting to ask you out.
- You smile. Make sure you do this every time you meet him - this lets him know that you are happy to see him. Even if you find yourself together with other people, reserve the biggest smile for him.
- Look him in the eye, it's an essential flirting technique. A good tip is to look at him from a distance, so once he notices, hold his gaze for a moment before smiling and looking away.
- Physically touch it. Another flirting technique is to touch him more confidently. Lightly touch his arm when you talk to him, hug him when you greet him, or ruffle his hair when you joke. Doing so will quickly let him know that you are interested in him.
Step 2. Send him messages
If you have his phone number (if you don't, what are you waiting for to ask him?) You can text him during the day to let him know you think of him. They can be funny or even flirty, and if he responds to the theme, you'll know you're in the right direction.
- For example, if he has a game or exam in a few days, you can text him to wish him luck. Maybe he'll consider it a nice gesture and appreciate that you remembered.
- However, remember not to overdo it. Keep the rule in mind: if you send two consecutive text messages without getting any response, you should stop. It must be reciprocal.
Step 3. Invite him to be together
If you haven't had a chance to actually be alone yet, whether it's because you've always been out in a group or in more formal situations like school or work, it may be time to invite him somewhere. It does not have to be a dinner in a fancy restaurant, a coffee at the nearest bar can also be fine.
- If he accepts, it's a clear sign that he is interested in you, or at least that he really likes your company. Take it as a positive sign and appreciate it. Just be careful not to make things too awkward - you are just two friends having fun together, right?
- If he says no, don't take it too hard. He may just be having another engagement, or he may be too shy to be alone with you. Give it some time, then try again. If he says no a second time, you may have to resign yourself to the fact that he isn't interested.
Step 4. Tell him that you are interested in him
In the end, there isn't much to do but wait and hope. Sometimes the best move is to tell him directly that you like him and ask him if he likes you back. Whatever his answer, at least everything will be clear and there will be nothing left to do but proceed with the relationship or move on.
- Don't heed the rule that kids have to take the first step. In fact, they love girls with strong characters and who know exactly what they want. In fact, just the fact that you had the guts to ask might be enough to impress him and make him say yes.
- Never involve anyone else in asking them out. It is immature behavior and will increase the risk of him rejecting it. Even if you are too shy to ask him the question in person, a text message or a handwritten note will certainly be more effective than sending a third person.
Step 5. Be patient
These things take time. You can't force someone to take an interest in you, and trying to forge ahead can ruin everything. Give it some space and don't be obsessive. Let things progress (or fade away) naturally.
- At some point he will tell you, in one way or another, if he is interested or not and if he reciprocates your affection. If it isn't, don't walk around it like an injured dog. Sometimes you may be incompatible without you realizing it, and other times a guy just isn't ready to commit to a serious relationship.
- If that's the case, don't waste any more time and turn the page completely. Don't take rejection personally. It happens to everyone sooner or later.
- The sea is full of fish, and as long as you are sure of yourself, you will know that it is not your fault and that somewhere there is the right guy just waiting to meet you.
Step 6. Be aware of his feelings
Last but not least, keep in mind that you cannot have control over the thoughts and actions of others. This guy may be the object of your interest, but that doesn't mean you have to be part of his innermost world.
- Look at it from another perspective. If there is any guy who is interested in you, is there anything he could do to make you like him? Probably not.
- The truth is, there is no middle ground, either you like it that way or you don't. You may or may not find it funny. All he can do is give his best, and hope it works out well for you.
- The same goes for you. Give the best of yourself, and let something develop, one way or the other.
Advice
- Never forget to smile. It is one of the oldest ways of inviting someone to socialize. Plus, it has the added bonus of being free and instantly increases your "market value" - remember to always take care of your teeth.
- Although everyone says "be yourself", if you are one of those grumpy, nasty girls and don't have many friends, you might want to try a change of style. Try being prettier to others and being interested in other people's feelings. Of course, don't be too nice or you will give the impression that you are not being honest.
- If there's no sign that he's interested in you, it doesn't necessarily mean he's not really interested. He may just be too shy, or a little scared, especially if he hasn't been dating a girl in a long time, or if it's his first time. Be patient and don't be too intrusive; Just let him know that you are available and that he should have some courage, enough to give you a call.
- Make sure she's single. If you intentionally try to get the attention of an already engaged guy, you will only be meddling in another relationship and that would be unfair. Also, if he does this to his girlfriend, he may very well do the same thing to you in the future. This type of guy usually has a long trail of women adoring and at the same time angry with him. They are commonly known as "Don Giovanni" for all, and specifically "scoundrels" for their exes. Avoid them like the plague.
- Don't make it too obvious that you're attracted to him, it's the worst mistake many girls make. It is precisely what allows certain kids to take advantage of it.
- Some prefer to become friends first. Others prefer to avoid being limited or relegated to mere friendship. Ideally, you can be a little bit of both… a friend and a romantic interest.
- Don't tell him about other potential guys. While you may think it serves to show him how "in demand" you are, it suggests a superficial and easily misunderstood personality… in any case, not exactly one that would appeal to anyone willing to commit to a serious relationship. Frankly, that's not really the case and would just push him away.
- Keep in mind that some guys take a little longer to grow up (those with Peter Pan syndrome). In these cases it is better not to waste time with them, and rather look for someone who has already made the decision to become a mature person. You don't want to end up being someone's second mom.
Warnings
- If your friends aren't that mature, don't let them know that there's a guy you like. They will immediately start staring at him and smirking whenever he is present. They might start chatting and so on. Regardless of what you tell them, they will end up staring at it. The worst thing they could do is go to him and start bombarding him with questions and all of them would sound like "I mean, what do you think of Jessica?". He will run away.
- Don't tell him you like him out of the blue, or he may not take you too seriously. Take some time to get to know him better first.
- Try not to make it too obvious, that is, don't talk about too many things about you during the conversation. Don't be afraid to ask him a few questions about him as you speak, don't be shy. Be careful what you tell him, since it can lead to very embarrassing moments.
- Don't confuse his kindness with liking him. Sometimes it's really hard to tell the difference, but you can find out with a little more attention. If you've just gotten out of a bad relationship, some guys, especially older ones, tend to act like a big brother. And that point they see the relationship more as fundamentally platonic, which means any romantic involvement will always be complicated.
- Being difficult to please someone can be manipulative behavior, something that no one finds attractive or wants to be the object of. Keep an open mind. That kid who keeps smiling at you during class might be the one, if all your ambitions are underwhelming at the moment. Maya Angelou says of Mr. Ideal Man "[…] hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and take everything in between." Sooner or later you will find it, and when it arrives, don't expect a knight in shining armor on a white horse, but rather a van and a name like Mario Rossi. He will never be perfect, but the important thing is that he is a good person.
- Never play mind games or send confusing signals. You would only disorient him and it is a high risk behavior of awkward moments. Furthermore, it is not a sign of intelligence, but of insecurity and cowardice.
- If you've talked to your friends about him and they persecute him with questions, ask them firmly for them to stop and if they don't really want to hear about it, ignore them when they talk about him during your chats. When you are with him, apologize for the immaturity of your friends, and let him know that you are not like them. She'll appreciate that you don't act like a silly child, just like your friends do.
- If the steps in this article are working too well and he's down on it, tell him to take it slow and don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
