Suddenly, one day you find yourself feeling more than just affection for your friend. You discover that you are attracted to her, that you want to flirt, that you want to become the romantic part of her life. It is a difficult situation, because you have to figure out how to do it without compromising your friendship. But if you play your cards right, you'll be able to turn your friend into girlfriend in no time. Read on to find out how.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Interpreting the Situation
Step 1. Try to find out what his feelings about you are
Your sudden discovery may be a long way from what she feels about you. After all, you were friends yesterday, while today, at least one of you has trespassed into new territory. Did she give you any indication that she might be interested in more than a platonic friendship? Have you ever seen any signs of flirting or wanting to be around you all the time? Or she behaves in the same friendly, caring and affectionate way… but as a good friend would. Paying attention to these things can help you get a better sense of the situation.
- See how he behaves when he talks to you. Is she the same as always or does she seem to be more shy? If so, then she may be nervous because she wants something more from you.
- However, if he doesn't behave exactly the same way, it doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings for you. It is helpful to try to measure his feelings before proceeding.
- She used to feel comfortable telling you about the guys she liked, but has she recently stopped doing it? It could indicate that he has feelings for you.
Step 2. Ask your friends for their opinion
You may be so excited about meeting your favorite friend that you may not be able to read her signals correctly. If you have trusted friends who go out with the two of you and who can objectively assess the situation, don't be afraid to ask them what they think and if there is a good chance for you. A true friend will give you an honest opinion and may be able to tell if she likes you or only sees you as a friend.
- Of course, your friends may only tell you what you want to hear. But if you find a sincere friend who gives you an honest opinion, you can count yourself lucky.
- This doesn't mean your friends can read the situation any better than you can. They may, however, confirm your impressions or reveal that the girl actually likes someone else.
Step 3. Avoid being a friend
Let me be clear. The problem often lies in being as kind as friends usually are. Kindness is an admirable quality in friendship, but when it comes to passion and love it takes a back seat. Being cute rather than flirting and flirting will give her the impression that you are a great friend, but not a great lover. If you don't change, you risk remaining in this friendship limbo. What you have to do? You really need to flirt more. And if you think you're not good at it, don't worry - it is and should be something playful and fun.
Do not allow her to treat you as a friend, perhaps by telling you about her loves. Make sure she sees you as something more
Step 4. Make sure it's worth it
Before you declare yourself, make sure you are really prepared to accept the consequences of asking a friend to go out with you. If she is one of your best friends or maybe your best friend, then you need to be sure that your feelings are truly genuine and that she is ready to take the plunge and risk your friendship by dating you. Eventually, your friendship may turn out to be more important than your romantic relationship.
The truth is, most relationships don't lead to marriage and you won't be able to return to your old friendship if you break up. However, if this girl really likes you and you see a future together with her, then you should give it a try
Part 2 of 4: Show her your potential as a boyfriend
Step 1. Take care of your appearance
Make sure you look your best. If you've never cared about your appearance in his presence, this will be an obvious sign that you want to change things. You will lose nothing by doing this and you will probably increase your self-esteem. You shouldn't suddenly put a ton of gel in your hair or wear a suit when you go out. You should just make an effort to get noticed more and make her understand that you are starting to see her in a different light.
Try to dress well when you are with her, make sure you shower, shave, and always look your best. This doesn't mean getting dressed up or overdoing your aftershave. Dress for the occasion and always keep in mind that "bathing" in cologne is certainly not attractive, but quite the opposite - remember, the less you wear, the better. If you look good, you will feel more confident. Looking after your appearance is also a way to show her that you care
Step 2. Increase the playfulness
While it's possible you may already be in a fun relationship, humor can be the way to win her heart. Try to make more jokes and be more playful in his presence. Tell her funny things and help her see that you are the kind of guy who appreciates the humorous and fun side of life. Look at her in a sensual way and then smile when she reacts too seriously.
- Find ways to compare your relationship to that of funny people you know in real life or in fiction. Even better if these people are romantically linked. Some examples of famous couples united by comedy: Sandra Mondaini and Raimondo Vianello, Dario Fo and Franca Rame.
- Tickling can work in some cases, but be careful. If it looks like you're trying to feel it, you're done for. Also, not all girls appreciate it. Judge the effectiveness of this method based on your reactions and don't overdo it even if you like it. Be prepared to be tickled in response as well.
- Teasing her very lightly is a great way to be playful and flirt with her a bit. But be careful not to offend her by mistake.
Step 3. Increase physical contact
You may already be affectionate enough with each other. But now is the time to move on to a type of contact that can be considered flirting, without exaggerating. For example, try to touch her at least three times every time you meet her. Touch her for no more than two or three seconds (enough for the signal to be unconsciously registered) and only touch her in places that won't make her uncomfortable, such as her hands, shoulders or neck.
- Share your food with her. Sharing food when you eat together or snack is an intimate act and can increase the chances of getting close.
- Hugs are also good. They help you express friendship, but they also help create a certain atmosphere of intimacy that could help make it something more.
Step 4. Make yourself useful
Do things for her and help her whenever you can. It can be anything from simple chores around the house to homework or helping her prepare for a question. Your help will let her know that you care. However, make sure you avoid being "always" available… she should do some nice things for you too.
Being helpful and helping her doesn't mean acting like a boss or superior. If she is able to do something on her own, openly compliment her instead of hinting that you could do better. Nothing dismisses a potential romantic interest more than arrogance
Step 5. Listen to what he says carefully
Don't sit and nod and pretend to listen. Girls love when someone listens to them and tries to truly understand them. Also, listening will allow you to behave better in the event of a future relationship and strengthen your current friendship. Show her that you could be a great guy by being a gentleman.
- When she talks to you, make eye contact and put your cell phone away, avoiding any other distractions. Show her that you really care about every word she says.
- Avoid interrupting it. Wait until he's finished saying everything he wants to express.
Step 6. Memorize all the details about her by heart
The important things to remember are his birthday, siblings, phone number, favorite food, favorite colors, hobbies, ambitions, and all the things he has already told you. Write down these important details if you don't have a good memory; it may help you refresh your memory before you talk to her. <This will let her know that you are truly interested in her.
Part 3 of 4: Let her know you like her
Step 1. Invite her to parties
If you both like to dance and go to parties, offer to be her date. It might be reassuring for her to attend a party with someone familiar by her side, while the party environment and the excitement in the air could help your cause.
Step 2. Shorten the distances
Use your body language to get close to her when you get signs that she is interested. Lean your shoulders towards her, lean towards her, always remain facing her and touch her often. Again, hugs are on your side.
- Be careful not to fall on her or squeeze her too tightly.
- Take a foot. You can only do this when you are sure that he has gotten the message and has begun to reciprocate your love intentions. It can be fun if done at the right time.
Step 3. Make them want your presence
Don't spend too much time with her. Instead, it goes a long way, then nothing for a while, then again and when you can flirt. When you are not together, he will have a chance to think of you. If she can always count on your availability, she will be less inclined to want to hang out with you.
Spend more time with her when she's happy than when she's sad. This will help her associate happiness with your presence. If you can make her your girlfriend, then it will be time to be there to give her the support she needs
Step 4. Woo her
Gradually flirt more if you get good signals from her. Let things take their course. Let her know that it's not just for the sake of flirting, but that you have real romantic feelings towards her.
Step 5. Try to notice if she is interested
As you get closer, and you probably feel she might feel something for you, look for the signs listed below to determine if she reciprocates:
- Change the color of the nail polish when she goes out with you. It could mean that he is trying to get your attention with the little things.
- The hems begin to rise and the necklines become more noticeable. Essentially, this means that she's starting to look at you differently and she wants you to start seeing her in a different light too: she's telling you that she too can be sexy when she wants.
- He looks at you more often, blinking;
- His movements become more delicate;
- The tone of his voice drops slightly and he speaks even more slowly;
- She's starting to be a little flirtatious, but just a little.
Part 4 of 4: Ask her out
Step 1. Get a little more proactive
Start going to the cinema or shopping together, just the two of you. Maybe an evening out. When you meet her, give her a super compliment and smile, like "Wow, you look beautiful" (make sure there are no prying ears around).
Step 2. Choose the appropriate time and place
If you want to ask her out, you should choose a place where you will have some privacy and a time where she has no other things on her mind. If you don't want to postpone your statement, look for a quiet time and make sure she is in a good mood. For example, don't tell her before a math exam or she'll be too distracted and stressed out to listen to you.
Once you find the right moment, try to be alone with her. If his friends are too close, you won't be able to talk quietly
Step 3. Tell her why you like her
Keep it simple. Give her some compliments and tell her how much you enjoy spending time with her. Let her know why she is special to you and that you are attentive to everything that makes her wonderful. Don't make her too embarrassed and don't be too heavy. Take a few minutes to make her feel special.
You can also use this moment to evaluate his reactions - if he seems uncomfortable or is looking for the nearest exit, look no further. But if he's happy and seems to want to know more, then you can count yourself lucky
Step 4. Ask her out
Just tell her that you like her as a friend, but that you like to take your relationship to a deeper level. Let her know that you have been thinking about this and that while it is important to be friends, you are willing to take the risk of deepening your relationship. She will be flattered to hear that you consider her a great friend and that you want something more from her.
- Ask her "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" or "Would you like to go out with me?". You don't have to spend hours making up a speech. When you ask her, make eye contact and show her that you are sincere.
- Or, when you are certain that she is reciprocating your flirtation or that she seems to be reciprocating the interest anyway, approach a lot closer and say something like "I have to tell you something. I think you're beautiful, funny, sweet and honest. Not. I want to ruin our friendship, but I was wondering if you felt the same for me too "- be prepared for her answer. The hope is that he smiles and says yes.
- Keep in mind that you need to tread gently, otherwise you could ruin your friendship. Waiting for the right moment is key, so take your time.
Step 5. Don't let your friendship get ruined if she's not interested
If she wants to be your girlfriend, then great! Hug her, celebrate and take her out. If, on the other hand, he doesn't feel like it, try not to make a drama out of it. Remember, it's always better to have a lasting friendship than to throw yourself into a short-lived relationship that will leave a bad taste in your mouth and won't allow you to become friends again. Sure, you'll need some time to heal your wounded ego, but after a few weeks, you may very well naturally be friends again.
Advice
- Stand up for her. Stand up for it in front of other people. It will give her a great and lasting impression of you.
- Respect and trust! Without these two things you will have no chance with her, not even in friendship.
- Be honest and make her feel special.
- Don't be shy, because she might be too.
- Be friendly and help her every now and then.
- Be nice to her and call her every now and then, about 2-3 times a week. Then stop calling her for a few days. Then he starts calling her again or texting her. Sooner or later she will miss your attention and let you know. Give her the attention she seeks.
- You could wait for her to make the first move after flirting. In this case, you will be sure of his feelings.
- Tell her you love her in a language she doesn't know and then explain what that means.
Warnings
- Be careful not to overdo it when you start touching it more often. Observe the rule of limiting yourself to non-sexual, short and affectionate touches. NEVER cross over into sexual harassment.
- If she is shy, be even more careful. Don't misunderstand her shyness as a reason to ignore her thoughts. If she says she's not interested, respect her.
- If you feel like she isn't interested, back off. You may also have to stop chasing her. Always be ready to discuss your intentions and be honest.
- There is always a risk of ruining a friendship when you try to turn it into a relationship. It is a risk that you will need to evaluate based on the signals you receive, the time you have known each other and the realistic chances of success in a relationship. Listen to your instincts and study the signals very carefully.
- Avoid acting desperately. You will make your intentions clear and reduce the esteem she has for you.
- It is incredibly difficult to turn friendship with a woman into something romantic. This happens because women greatly appreciate platonic friendships with men, which allow them to have a confrontation with the male world without feeling judged or that someone takes advantage of it. It can also come as a shock to them to discover that a male friend would like to take things to the next level after months or years of trusting each other. Proceed with extreme caution and make sure it's a change you really want.
- Be careful. In some cases, you may fall into the so-called "bed friends". It means having casual sexual intercourse without any romantic developments, while remaining friends. For some it works, but for others it can be painful, especially if one of them really cares about the other. It could border on exploitation.
