Do you start stammering and even forget your name every time you talk to a girl? If so, then it's time to change the way you flirt to be able to control yourself during a conversation and get a woman's attention in no time. To talk to a girl, you simply need to show that you are genuinely interested in her and tell her something she has never heard before. If you want to know how, just follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Start a Conversation
Step 1. Get his attention
You don't have to do anything elaborate or melodramatic to do it; to be honest, you shouldn't even think about it. Just smile at her from a distance, touch her as you pass in front of her and apologize or look deeply at her, look away and then find her eyes again a few minutes later. You don't have to greet her as soon as you notice her; instead, first you can take some time to intrigue her about you. If you already know her, then it goes without saying that you shouldn't be playing the unattainable, go say hello right away. If you feel confident enough, why not introduce yourself?
- In the approach, make sure you have body language that conveys confidence. Keep your head up, gaze straight ahead, and correct posture as you approach her.
- If you wait too long before saying goodbye, she may feel ignored.
Step 2. Introduce yourself
All you have to say is: "Hi, I'm Gianni, and what's your name?" or “I'm Gianni, nice to meet you”. You could also break the ice by asking her a question about something you have in common, such as a class you both attend. When he answers you and tells you his name, reach out and gently squeeze his. Don't do it in an embarrassed way, though. Sure, it'll look a little old school, but that's one of the ways adult people present themselves. If you already know her, you can just say hello and make sure you use her name.
Once you know this girl's name, use it a few times to make her think you're really into the conversation and care what she has to say. Just do it once or twice
Step 3. Be yourself
Break up and let this girl understand your true way of being. If you're a clumsy and nice guy, make her laugh. If you are more reflective, talk about interesting and meaningful topics without being too serious; you don't have to make a lot of jokes, unless that's your forte. Also, while you need to find out more about her, you also need to talk to her about yourself so she can get to know you. This is essential to show her your most authentic side. However, whatever you do, make sure you don't always and only talk about yourself, ask her questions about her. Act as if you are genuinely interested in her answer, even if you don't.
While it is important to be yourself, remember that you should take a step back before highlighting your more quirky characteristics, the kind of aspects or hobbies that everyone would recommend keeping to themselves until the other person is done. a more precise opinion. You certainly don't want to upset her! Try talking about topics that might be of interest to her too
Step 4. Smile
This step can help you a lot. It shows that you enjoy the conversation and feel comfortable, which will inspire the girl to keep talking to you. Try to have a natural expression, with the corners of the lips raised slightly upwards for a discreet smile. When the time is right, smile more firmly and show your teeth. You don't have to overdo it, but doing it at the right moments at the start of a conversation can make the girl feel appreciated. If he says something nice, laugh.
- Smiling will put her at ease and make her think she really entertains you with what she has to say.
- Of course, don't always smile, or else you will look nervous or uncomfortable.
Step 5. Stay away from personal issues
If you like this girl, obviously sooner or later you will want to get to know her on a deeper level. This doesn't mean, however, that you should talk about the pain caused by your grandmother's death or describe in detail the rash on your back seconds after meeting her. Instead, choose more frivolous and harmless topics that are easy to talk about, such as pets, favorite bands, or hobbies. That way, you won't make her uncomfortable before she really gets to know you.
- Choosing light topics during the first conversation doesn't mean discussing boring topics. You don't have to talk about the weather just to avoid touching even remotely your private life. Unless you live in a place where people have an unhealthy interest in the climate, avoid it.
- Follow the flow of the conversation. Sometimes, two people really get the spark and they start opening up to each other much faster than expected. If this girl starts telling you something more personal and seems to really trust you, you can go one step further, too, but always without unbuttoning yourself too much.
Part 2 of 3: Make Her Feel Special
Step 1. Find out if you have common interests
Try to sidetrack the conversation in a direction that may interest both of you, from your obsession with a television series to a passion for cycling. You don't have to do this by asking her what her five favorite bands, foods, hobbies, or sports are. You can just listen and adjust to the natural flow of the conversation. Try to figure out if there is something you both like, or if you can draw their attention to your preference. For example, if you casually mention that you went to a certain football match when you tell her something, then she may say that she is cheering on the same team as you.
- When speaking, be sure to ask her open-ended questions, avoid those that only require a positive or affirmative answer. That way, the conversation can flow.
- Make sure you avoid awkward silences. Remember that the situation only becomes uncomfortable if you make it uncomfortable, so be confident and let the conversation flow as best you can.
- Don't despair if you feel you have nothing in common. If you have an interesting conversation for long enough, sooner or later you will be able to find something.
- You may find that deep down you don't really have that much in common, but that something has clicked between you because you have similar personalities or points of view. This is also great.
- When mentioning a band you like, ask her if she's interested too. Let her know that you value her tastes while talking about yours.
Step 2. As you speak, make eye contact
It's another way to make her feel special. You don't have to stare at her as if you are looking for your reflection in her eyes and unsettling her. You should aim to give her your full attention, without pulling out your phone or looking around to see if a more interesting person has walked in. Sometimes, you can look away, but only to rekindle her interest, not to make her think she is bored.
Looking someone in the eye is a sign of self-esteem. If you try to make eye contact with her, she'll realize you're sure you want to meet her
Step 3. Express interest in his thoughts and opinions
Listen carefully when she speaks. Girls prefer men who listen to them and appreciate their words. Don't interrupt her all the time to reiterate your opinion. Let him talk and share his thoughts with you. Either way, show that you are paying attention by nodding your head, saying “Yes” or “No” at the right times and answering his questions.
- Ask her what she thinks of your interests: your favorite music, this season's new fashion trends or the importance of friendship.
- While it is important to ask her for her opinion, try to avoid topics like religion or politics in the beginning, otherwise you could venture into an unexpected discussion.
- When she makes a statement, be sure to answer her and show her that you listen by occasionally rephrasing her words. You can say, "I completely agree with what you said, which is that it is difficult to keep in touch with friends who are moving elsewhere." You make her understand that not a single word has escaped you.
Step 4. Give her a discreet compliment
You should highlight an aspect of her personality or look without upsetting her to show her you've noticed. If you like her favorite genre of music or literature, tell her she has good taste. You can certainly compliment her on clothes, hair or accessories, but you will really win her over by showing her that you go beyond her exterior. Also, if you feel particularly confident, why not pay her a gallant compliment?
- If you've decided to compliment her on her physical appearance, don't go beyond her clothes, her hair, or, in more intimate cases, her eyes. There's really no need to upset her by telling her she's sexy before she even knows your last name.
- If he has a contagious laugh, don't be afraid to tell him.
Step 5. Ask her about her studies
You don't have to bore her to death by asking her what is the most interesting topic in the algebra course. However, you can show your interest by asking her about her favorite subjects. You can also ask her which professors motivate her the most, bring the conversation to her future study or work projects. You don't have to just nod and say, “How interesting…”. Ask her why she likes a certain subject or wants to be a nurse or lawyer when she grows up.
- Some girls don't like to talk about their studies as much. If you realize she's not interested, change the subject.
- Don't look like you're doing the third degree. You can also talk about your favorite subjects.
Step 6. Don't make fun of her until she can catch your sense of humor
It is best not to joke with girls about topics they might take seriously, especially if it comes to weight, physical appearance, or intelligence. It is especially important to avoid comments that might go wrong during the first approach. If you go to the point of deeply offending a girl immediately after meeting her, it will be difficult to save yourself from such a complex situation.
- Prevention is better than cure. Don't make fun of her unless you're really sure she'll catch your humor.
- Act on his attitude. If he teased you first and you understood his sense of humor, you can reciprocate. Just make sure you make jokes that are on the same level.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping His Interest Alive
Step 1. Make her double up with laughter
Girls love men who make them laugh. Don't be afraid to show off your wit and sense of humor, as long as it's not too vulgar or inappropriate at first. You don't have to start telling a series of knock knock jokes to get her attention. Simply make sharp comments, playfully respond to her joke, and share unique insights into the world around you, making her think. Don't think about it too much. If you have a goofy or goofy sense of humor, don't hide it.
- If you try to make a joke and she doesn't laugh, show her that you don't take yourself too seriously. Tell her: "Maybe next time I'll be better …", you'll get a laugh.
- If he makes a shrewd comment, don't just say you find it funny. Show her that you can answer right away, or laugh it off with her.
Step 2. Don't get nervous and don't force interaction
A girl can see this behavior from miles away. If you want to keep her interest alive, then you shouldn't be relentlessly courting her if it's clear she doesn't want to. Don't give her ten million compliments when she's obviously uncomfortable. Don't show off, don't flaunt the weights you can lift in the gym or the goal record you plan to beat with your team. Relax and stop obsessing about impressing her. You will see that paradoxically you will be able to make a much better impression.
- If this girl realizes that you feel confident enough that you don't have to try so hard to please her, she'll want to talk to you even more.
- If you show her your biceps, talk about your perfect physical shape or tell her you look great without a shirt, you will only demotivate her.
Step 3. Always keep your self-esteem high
Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to make silly comments. If you don't fear it, then it probably won't happen. Just keep engaging her and seamlessly accept the occasional awkward exchanges, silences, or stories that you haven't been able to tell right. Be positive, relaxed and happy, and she'll have even more fun chatting with you. Don't be too self-critical, even if you think you will make her laugh, or she'll think you have a bad image of yourself.
- You don't have to flaunt to be confident. You can talk about how much you love football without telling her that you are a great athlete.
- Demonstrating self-irony is a sign of self-esteem. It makes her understand that you don't take yourself too seriously.
Step 4. Always be relaxed
If you are nervous, sweating or visibly scared, the girl in question will understand. If you feel tense, just slow down your speech, focus on the dynamics of the conversation instead of every single word you say, stop waving your hands nervously or look around. If you are not comfortable, the girl will absorb your tension and she will feel uncomfortable too. Breathe deeply, measure your words and movements, and think about the best that could happen, not the worst.
- If you're really nervous and it's uncomfortably obvious, you can make a little joke about it to lighten the mood.
- If you tend to be a nervous person, bring a bottle of water or a fizzy drink with you so you can sip it from time to time to calm down and take short breaks.
Step 5. Don't lie just to impress her
Talk to her honestly, and don't talk big. By nature, everyone tends to gild their life, but this causes a lot more trouble than necessary, so it's not worth it. If you get to know her better and find that you like her, she'll eventually find that you've been telling her an avalanche of lies. This would be extremely embarrassing for you, not to mention that you will make her distrust you and those in the relationship. You shouldn't wear a mask every time you see it, in any sense.
- Even if this girl doesn't notice it for some time, other people (and other women) will find that you try to hit her favorably at all costs.
- If you want to see her again, then all your lies will eventually come out. If you want her to like you, she must be attracted to your true nature from the start.
Step 6. Be optimistic
People like to hang out with people who know how to make people laugh, feel happy and have a positive outlook on the world. If one day you feel irritable or like everyone is plotting behind your back, then this isn't the best time to woo a girl. Talk about the things and people that make you happy, focus on the positive experiences both of you have had. Once you get to know each other better, you can also talk about more serious topics. However, to engage her from the first interaction, you should have a purely optimistic attitude.
- You can also control yourself when you are in a bad time. If she asks what the traffic was like to get to the place where you met and you say "Horrible", remedy this comment by adding: "But I'm really enjoying this new audiobook I'm listening to" or "But while I was coming here I saw a very tender group of little dogs for a walk with their master”.
- If he asks you a question about a certain band that you hate with all your heart, you can say something like: “I haven't listened to many pieces of this group” or “It's not my favorite band, but I recognize the quality of the music”. Don't start yelling to point out that you hate something when you first talk to a girl.
Step 7. Ask for her contact details
If there is a spark with this girl, then you can ask her for her email, phone number, or even just her last name so you can send her a friend request on Facebook. If you want to invite her out with you, you can offer her a well-defined date. However, if you like her and would like to talk to her again to get to know her better, just say something like: “I have to go now, but I'd like to continue this conversation at another time. Can I call you to chat with you? . He will say yes without hesitation.
- If you're more shy, ask her to send her a friend request on Facebook or email. Then, share a nice link with her, like an online comic she'd like or a silly discussion on a forum. It is a less embarrassing approach than the telephone approach. It allows her to get to know you better and you will have a better chance of seeing her again.
- Ask her for her contact details just when the conversation is booming and you are at the height of a fun and incessant dialogue. Don't wait until the dialogue dries up to do so, or he'll be less willing to see you.
Advice
- If she clearly isn't interested or refuses to answer, back off. Many girls often get unwanted attention and don't know how to deal with it properly. Understand that unwanted advances are difficult to deal with. Don't take it personally; put an end to the conversation and go on your way.
- Often remind a girl that she is cute, but don't overdo it.
- Try to have good personal hygiene habits. If you don't shower, comb, or brush your teeth regularly, girls know it.
- Try to get along with her friends, but don't flirt with them. Girls find it unfair and you will never have a chance with the one you like.
- Don't talk about his weight or bring up the extra pounds in general. Most girls, even the skinniest ones, think they are fat. This issue is taboo for almost all women.
- Always look her in the eye. But don't let your gaze linger for more than 30 seconds at a time, as overdoing eye contact is creepy. If, on the other hand, you seem to always look away or can't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds, your attitude will smell of burning, as if you can't wait to leave.
- Don't be creepy. Comments that can upset a girl are those that are too personal or that make you seem desperate. Don't look at her in a lewd way and don't stare at her body: this attitude is very intrusive.
- If you like it, don't tell him explicitly until you've been talking constantly for at least two weeks. However, only do this if you find the interest to be mutual, otherwise you risk burning yourself, frightening her and driving her away.
- If you have other female friends, talk to this girl as you would with them. When you're particularly nervous, this trick can make all the difference.
- Some girls love listening and observing more than talking. If she doesn't step into the conversation often, then she may be more interested in hearing what you have to say.
- Smile, hold your hands open with palms facing her, jacket unbuttoned. He will instantly feel good in your company, and you will feel better about yourself too.
- Most girls feel flattered when a guy asks them out. Those who don't usually have a superior attitude; no matter how beautiful they are, better leave them alone, don't humble yourself for them.
- Girls need varying degrees of attention. Some are happy to see you about once a week. Others won't leave you alone for even a second, and still others may avoid seeing you for long periods of time, but that doesn't necessarily mean they've lost interest.
- If you try to break the barrier of physical contact by hugging a girl from behind, she may react badly and give you a backhand because she didn't expect this approach and she didn't know it was you.
- When you sit down, align your knees to your shoulders. Girls notice body language, so settle in politely, not with your legs wide apart.
- Never surprise a girl by approaching from behind. His first reaction is usually to get alarmed and prepare to defend himself. If you don't want to scare her, and you shouldn't, approach her from the side or front. Any body language expert can tell you that.
- Don't flirt with her if you know she has a boyfriend - it's a lost cause, and you don't want to offend her boyfriend.
- If you have severe acne problems, apply toothpaste to pimples before bed, then wash your face thoroughly in the morning.
- If you are not a direct person, try to proceed gradually every time you see her; maybe just say hello the first few times. Eventually, she'll notice you too. This method is much easier to strike up a conversation. First, ask her what her name is, and continue from there.
- Don't treat her with an air of superiority.
- Before brushing your teeth, try putting some baking soda on your toothbrush to make them whiter. A beautiful smile is essential to feel confident.
Warnings
- Don't talk about other girls in front of her, and never make comparisons, especially with her friends.
- Never comment on its weight.
- Be yourself. The only way to peacefully and happily cultivate a relationship is to be completely yourself. It's normal to smooth the corners a bit when you're talking to a girl for the first time because you want her to like you. Put all your insecurities aside. Don't be self-critical. If he tells you you're cute, take it as a compliment.
- When she is ready to talk to you again, treat her with respect and empathy to confirm that you are a nice and easygoing guy.
- Never talk to her in a rude or vulgar way. This attitude turns most girls off, and they won't want to see you anymore.
- If she's upset with you or doesn't want to talk about it, leave her alone for some time. There is no predefined waiting time: it will be ready when it is ready.
- Don't talk about your ex, she might think you still have feelings for her.
- Don't insist on talking to her when she clearly doesn't feel like it. A conversation involves two people: if you have to do all the work, it won't work. Don't be offended if that happens, maybe he's just afraid. Leave her alone and go further.
- Exclude topics that don't interest you. For example, if you love football but you think it's boring, don't talk about it all the time in the beginning.
- Don't use tacky pickup phrases.
