Disturbing thoughts, also referred to as intrusive thoughts, are common and normal in most cases. However, they can upset or stress people. There is a risk that some people even become obsessed and have difficulty managing them. When they take the form of obsessions, they can lead to more serious psychological disorders if not addressed. If you think you have developed an obsession that is negatively affecting your life with thoughts that break in uncontrollably, you should seek help from a mental health professional. If you continue reading the article, you will be able to learn some strategies that will help you to stop being obsessed with disturbing thoughts.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Knowing the Disturbing Thoughts
Step 1. Understand the nature of disturbing thoughts
A disturbing thought is something that suddenly invades the mind. It often deals with violent, sexual and traumatic acts that occurred in the past, but it is not limited exclusively to these categories. Psychologists call such thoughts "intrusive" because they flash through the mind, many times abruptly, fueling our worries. They can vary greatly from person to person. Below, you will find some examples:
- Imagine dropping or throwing a baby while holding a baby. Even if you never would, it is a frequent intrusive thought.
- Imagine running over your boss with the car. If an executive has made you nervous, you may start thinking about such scenarios, even if you would never implement them.
- Having erotic fantasies of a violent nature that fuel your libido, even if you would never behave that way or do not wish to be involved in certain sexual practices.
- Reliving a distressing experience, such as a car accident or assault.
Step 2. Keep in mind that disturbing thoughts are very common
Many people feed them and manage to drive them away by focusing on something else. Even if it is a widespread phenomenon, for some individuals they become a source of concern and generate obsessions about gestures and behaviors that they would never adopt, causing the onset of psychological disorders. If you feel overwhelmed by a disturbing thought, try to remember that you are not alone. Many people have unwanted and bizarre thoughts.
Step 3. Remember that having troubling thoughts doesn't make you a bad person
In most cases, it is natural to have thoughts that haunt us about something we would never do, and we don't have to identify ourselves to the point that we consider ourselves villains. Often, they arise because we don't want to act in the way we imagine. Sometimes the mind wanders and considers the worst-case scenarios that could happen under certain circumstances.
Part 2 of 3: Analyzing a Disturbing Thought
Step 1. Recognize what is troubling you
Even if at first glance you will be prone to ignore a disturbing thought, it is not a good idea. If you try to silence it or stop it, it may come back more vehemently. By trying to suppress your most nagging thoughts, you also risk fueling harmful obsessions about a certain idea. So instead of trying to inhibit it, take note and start analyzing it.
Identify its content. What is it about and what worries you most?
Step 2. Write down intrusive thoughts
By putting them in black and white, you will give yourself the opportunity to see them from another perspective. Also, writing them down could help keep them out of your head and reduce their frequency. The next time a disturbing thought arises, take the time to write it down in a journal. To learn how to analyze it, consider the following questions as you describe it:
- What troubles you? The fear of acting according to the scenario you have imagined? The fear of harboring these kinds of thoughts? Any disapproval of others?
- How often does it arise? Calculate how many times it occurs to become aware of certain patterns. For example, consider the times it occurs during the day or throughout the week.
- Are there triggers? For example, does he always wake up after you've seen something or someone?
- What do you do once it comes to your mind? Do you keep brooding? Are you talking about it? Are you trying to ignore it?
- Is it always the same or do you have other thoughts as well? They are similar?
- Are you anxious about what you have thought or are you worried about acting according to what you have imagined? For example, are you really afraid of throwing a child against the wall or are you more upset that this thought has crossed your mind?
- Are you more concerned about the thought or how others might view you if they were aware of what you imagined? Does the idea that others can learn about it and judge you worry you more than the thought itself?
- Do you think you are forced to act in relation to what you have thought? In some cases, intrusive thoughts are recurring because you believe that conceiving a certain thing will lead you to behave accordingly, perhaps making a decision based on the imagined scenarios. In other cases, they recur regularly due to anxiety, but there's no reason to keep obsessing over them.
- Is there anything you can do to feel better? In other words, do you have a real chance to change the situation?
- What do these thoughts cause within you? Use words that can describe your mood, such as angry, sad, excited, and so on, to qualify these fluctuating emotions.
- Are these thoughts that disturb you personally or are they disturbing according to others?
Step 3. Identify where they come from
By trying to trace the origin of each thought, you can alleviate your worries. For example, if you constantly imagine that someone could come into your house and attack you, try to understand when such a thought first arose and why.
Step 4. Consider how the mass media feeds intrusive thoughts
According to a study, media information on the most violent events greatly promotes stress and causes people to have disturbing thoughts more frequently. Ask yourself if you often see or read violent acts on television and in the newspapers.
If you realize that you are exposed to this kind of information and you suspect that it may fuel the onset of distressing thoughts, stop watching or reading current news for a while or focus only on the less unpleasant events
Step 5. Understand the meaning of disturbing sexual thoughts
In most cases, they imply nothing. If you have a reaction of disgust or what you think is about aggressive behavior or illegal and immoral practices, it is likely that you are only trying to understand certain phenomena.
For example, suppose a person imagines raping someone unreachable. However, if he pauses to reflect on such a gesture, he is also capable of predicting the harm it could inflict on the victim. By realizing the pain that comes with it, he will stop getting obsessed with this kind of thinking
Part 3 of 3: Throwing the Troubling Thoughts Behind
Step 1. Distract yourself
Once you have analyzed the most distressing thoughts and reflected on their meaning, you should begin to move on. Try doing something stimulating to take your mind off your obsessions, such as:
- Play sports to reduce anxiety and tension.
- Choose a hobby to keep yourself mentally and physically busy.
- Going out with friends.
- Go to a coffee shop and read a good book.
- Write poetry, take pictures, sing.
Step 2. Ask yourself if you need professional help
In some cases, disturbing thoughts can be linked to antisocial behavior, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. If they are recurring, ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you planning to act on potentially dangerous thoughts?
- Are you thinking of harming yourself or others?
- Are you thinking and planning to intentionally harm someone?
- Do you hear voices telling you to harm yourself or others?
- Do obsessive thoughts or behaviors relate to family or work life?
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Do you tend to relive a traumatic experience several times?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should consult a mental health professional
Step 3. Join a support group if you have distressing thoughts about something that other people also have a hard time dealing with
If they are common to those of others, look for a support group that allows you to associate with people who understand you. For example, if your husband has been diagnosed with cancer, there are spouse support groups to which you can confide your state of mind and everything else that worries you.
Advice
- Don't ignore these kinds of thoughts. In this way, you will not go on, on the contrary you risk making the situation worse.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help and tell someone what you think.
- Remember that if you have distressing or intrusive thoughts, it does not mean that you are not sane. Sometimes, it is natural to think of something disturbing (especially considering the media information we are subjected to).
- Try to cultivate a passion that makes you feel gratified.
- Practice meditation to clear your mind of negative thoughts.
- If you get to the point where you really feel bad, you need to talk to someone. In these cases, the best thing to do is to let off steam.
