Getting cuts on the body is a form of self-harm. Self-harm is a voluntary gesture used as a tool to manage difficult feelings and circumstances that are too heavy to bear. Getting cuts on the body could provide momentary relief and help the self-injured person regain control of the situation. However, in the long run, this practice often causes a worsening of the mood or even puts life itself at risk. There is no magic formula for ending self-harm, but learning to love yourself rather than inflict pain on yourself is a good start. To embark on the difficult path to healing, there are effective methods that will allow you to stop hurting yourself. If the desire to get cuts is for you or a loved one, read this article and learn how to get the help you need.
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Overcoming the Unstoppable Urge to Cut Yourself
Step 1. Go where you won't be able to get cuts
If you feel the irrepressible urge to do this, go to a place where it will not be easy to complete it: a public place, such as a bar, or the living room of your home in the company of family members and other people who live with you. Under these circumstances, it will be more difficult to give in to the need to cut yourself. You may even feel better, especially if you are surrounded by people who love and support you.
Step 2. Call someone
When you feel the need to cut yourself, you're alone in the house and can't go out, call a person you like to talk to: a family member, trusted friend, or helpline. It would be useful to draw up a list of people to call with their telephone number. You could even set up emergency numbers on your phone.
- There are many telephone support services to ask for help. One of these is the Telefono Amico, available at 199 284 284, able to provide anonymous psychological support in situations of emotional distress.
- If you are a self-injurer and would like to consult an expert, consult your family doctor or contact a psychotherapist in your area.
- Call Samaritans Onlus Italia at 800 86 00 22, a voluntary association committed to the prevention of depression, emotional distress and suicide. If you are a teenager and you find yourself in a situation of emotional distress, call the Childhood Emergency service of Telefono Azzurro at 114, active throughout Italy every day at any time and free of charge, from both landlines and mobile phones.
Step 3. Try to get distracted
The best way to combat self-harm is by distracting yourself. The same technique doesn't necessarily work for everyone, so you'll have to experiment with several before you find the one that's right for you. Sometimes, the trigger or the stimulus can vary according to the emotions or the situation and this means that your reaction to prevent or hinder them will also be different.
- Use the butterfly drawing technique. When you feel the overwhelming desire to get a cut, draw a butterfly where you would like to do it and give it the name of a loved one or one who hopes for your recovery. If you cut yourself, the butterfly dies. The goal is to let it erase itself. If you can make it go away without cutting yourself, it means that you have reached the goal.
- Another method involves the use of a pen. With a red pen, draw lines, scribbles, the peace sign or other symbols wherever you would have liked to cut yourself. When you're done, count the lines - they're the scars you won't have.
- If these techniques don't work, try dyeing your hair, make a cup of tea, count to 500 or 1000, brainstorm a puzzle or board game, play an instrument, watch television or a movie, apply nail polish., tidy up somewhere like in the bookcase or closet, build origami to keep your hands busy, stay active, play a sport, go for a walk, invent a ballet, work on an art project or paint. The possibilities are endless - just find the right distraction.
Step 4. Postpone the self-injurious act
Whenever you feel the need to cut yourself, postpone the time when you will. Start from a limited time (for example 10 minutes) and gradually increase.
- While you wait, think about the scars you don't want to have and that it doesn't do any good to hurt you, even if it's part of your thoughts and perhaps your intentions. Tell yourself that you don't deserve to suffer, even if you don't know for sure yet.
- Remember that you can always choose not to - it's your decision.
Part 2 of 5: Learning Coping Strategies
Step 1. Experiment with the five senses technique
Coping skills (i.e. an individual's ability to cope with difficult situations) are critical to healing. Having these skills will help you cope with irrepressible impulses and, in most cases, also stimulate the brain to produce endorphins, the same good-humor chemicals that are released in performing self-harm. A common self-relaxation technique is that of the five senses, able to guarantee the achievement of the right mental condition to deal with the feelings of pain and suffering that cause self-harm.
- Get into a comfortable position, sitting cross-legged on the floor or in a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Start focusing on your breathing. Next, become aware of each of the five senses. Spend a minute or so on each of the five senses separately.
- Hearing: focuses on external sounds. Are they cars passing by or people talking? Then, focus on the internal noises. Can you hear the sound of your breath or digestive noises? In focusing on hearing, did you notice anything you had never noticed before?
- Smell: what smell do you perceive? Do you feel the presence of food nearby or flowers outside? You may notice smells new to you. Try closing your eyes to sharpen your other senses.
- Sight - what do you see? Can you see out the window? Pay attention to details such as colors, designs, shapes, fabrics.
- Taste: what does it taste like in your mouth? Feel all the flavors in your mouth, from your morning coffee to the meal you've eaten. Move your tongue and test your taste buds for any flavor present.
- Touch: Feel the sensation of your skin when it touches something else. This can come from the carpet under your feet or legs, from your clothes touching your skin, or from the air moving around your face. Feel the presence of the chair under you.
Step 2. Meditate or pray
Even if you feel ridiculous meditating or praying, meditation is scientifically proven to promote positive emotions, satisfaction, health and happiness. In addition, it relieves anxiety, stress and depression. There are countless different meditation techniques, but the goal is always the same: to calm the mind.
- Sit comfortably. Find a place to focus your attention. This can be a visual element (a fixed point in the room), auditory (a word or a prayer repeated over and over), physical (counting the beads of a rosary). As you focus your attention on repeating a gesture or on a static object, your mind will begin to wander. When you realize that you are thinking about something else, let the thought go and regain focus.
- It might sound easy, but maintaining attention is a challenging activity. Don't be discouraged if you initially can't hold your attention for more than a few minutes. Keep trying until you can let go of your thoughts and keep your mind clear for hours.
Step 3. Do some breathing exercises
Breathing is a natural instinct that can be controlled. It is scientifically proven that breathing control has positive effects on stress, the same type of stress that occurs when a person feels the need to harm himself. Learning new skills will help you control the causes of your malaise.
Try to breathe regularly. This is a simple technique where you inhale, hold your breath and exhale for a count of five each time. Focus on each phase of your breathing
Step 4. Use relaxation techniques
There are several relaxation techniques. Experiment with the technique of imagination, creating in your head the image of a safe place where you do not feel the desire to harm yourself. Create an image in your head, peaceful or able to bring back happy memories. To make this easier, focus on the image of a safe place printed on paper rather than imagining it.
Step 5. Experience progressive muscle relaxation (RMP)
Progressive muscle relaxation is a type of coping skill that focuses on the tension and relaxation of different muscle groups. One of the benefits of PMR is the ability to raise awareness of physical sensations.
- Get into a comfortable position that allows you to focus on different muscle groups. Most people find it easier to start sitting or lying on the ground. Next, focus on a group of muscles by tensing it and then relaxing it.
- Tighten your muscles for five seconds, contracting only the muscle group you are working on right now. After five seconds, relax all the muscles of that part and release any tension for fifteen seconds. You can then move on to the next muscle group.
- Repeat these exercises more than once a day as needed.
- Isolating a specific muscle group is difficult at first, but it will be easier with exercise.
- The main muscle areas are: the face, hands and arms, the abdomen or the middle part of the trunk, the legs and feet. Wear loose fitting clothing to feel comfortable.
Step 6. Take a mindful walk
Walking is a relaxing activity and a great diversion. Mindful walking is even better because it involves awareness in movement. To walk in this way, you have to be aware of every single step during the walk. How do your feet perceive the ground? How do they feel in shoes? Focus on your breath. Pay attention to the environment around you. Savor the space around you.
The benefits of mindful walking are the achievement of awareness in everyday life and the ability to focus on one's consciousness. Some people find it difficult to practice traditional static meditation and therefore prefer mindful walking as a more active form of meditation. Without forgetting that walking has many other health benefits
Step 7. Record situations where you feel the need to harm yourself
Keep a journal in which to describe as often as you do. Whenever you feel this overwhelming urge, write it down. Write down when it occurs and which episodes preceded it. In this way, you will be able to recognize the mechanisms or feelings that prompt you to get cuts on your body. In addition, the diary is an outlet through which to express emotions and process thoughts.
Step 8. Build an emergency box
An emergency box or kit is a container in which to store tools that will help you block the urge to harm yourself. Get a shoe box or a small box and put any object in it that you consider useful for the purpose: photographs of your friends, family, dog or cat, a journal to write in, material for an artistic creation, meaningful phrases or song lyrics that make you feel better, your favorite CD or any kind of object that can cheer you up and take the desire to cut yourself out of your mind.
Step 9. Find another outlet
Some people cut themselves due to extreme feelings related to anger, hatred, frustration, or grief. If these are the reasons for self-harm, try to vent your emotions in another way.
- If you are angry or frustrated, punch a pillow, scream in an open space, tear paper or squeeze a stress ball. You could even sign up for a kickboxing or self-defense course. Choosing any activity that can help you download those emotions that you normally express by cutting yourself will allow you to avoid it in the future.
- It takes time to find the right vent for you. Experiment until you find the right one for your emotions. Remember that the solutions change according to the situation.
Part 3 of 5: Practicing Positive Inner Dialogue
Step 1. Listen to the positive inner dialogue
Positive inner dialogue is about the way your inner voice speaks to you and observes you. This inner voice affects your motivation, your point of view, your self-esteem and your general well-being. Positive self-talk is how you can communicate with yourself to gain confidence, build a healthier lifestyle, and reduce negative thoughts.
Positive internal dialogue also promotes a healthy view of one's emotions. Remember that emotions and the irrepressible urge to cut yourself are only feelings and not real actions: they are transient or can be improved. The feelings you have that make you feel the need to cut yourself will not always be there
Step 2. Write reminders
To include positive inner dialogue in everyday life, it is necessary to leave written messages around. Write positive phrases about yourself on post-its or simple cards and hang them around the house. Alternatively, leave messages on the mirror, windows, or whiteboard. That way, you'll be able to read the memos every day and keep your spirits up. These positive messages will also help you at times when you want to get cuts. Here are some good examples:
- I am adorable.
- I'm special.
- I believe in myself.
- I am able to achieve my goals.
- I'm beautiful.
- My feelings are just feelings.
- My emotions won't last forever.
- Emotions do not correspond to actions.
- If I hurt myself I will not solve any problems.
- Self-harm offers momentary and not long-term relief.
- I am able to overcome my anger, my sadness and my anxiety without hurting myself.
- I can confide my feelings to someone right now.
- I can get help.
- I can do it.
Step 3. Start writing a memoir diary
Positive internal dialogue will help you recognize and understand the mechanism of your thoughts that can influence the urge to self-harm. The first step is to learn to become aware of one's thoughts, which are often dictated by habit. Some people find it helpful to write a journal to record their daily ruminations. Writing these thoughts down will allow you to critically reflect on your feelings and thoughts, as well as understand how to handle the situation differently.
- The goal is not to think otherwise, but to gain awareness. You will thus learn to recognize the thoughts and not passively suffer the ones that cause the self-injurious behaviors.
- Try to write down the circumstances, thoughts, feelings or emotions, as well as any physical sensation: if you feel full of strength, if your stomach closes, if you make certain gestures.
Step 4. Analyze your thoughts
Analyzing your own reflections can foster positive inner dialogue and the reduction of painful thoughts that cause self-harm. Are your thoughts real? Look at what you have written about your thoughts and see if there are any repeating mechanisms. Ask yourself if you've learned your lesson and what the long-term consequences have been. Did you handle the situation differently than at other times? Have you taken steps against negative thoughts?
- To judge negative thoughts you need to check for expressions such as "it is necessary that", "it would be better than", "you must". This type of affirmation can carry categorical messages. These negative and often peremptory thoughts about yourself can lead to self-harm.
- As you scroll through the pages of your journal, reflect on what other thoughts you might have had. Take note of other possible positive meaning phrases that can combat negativity.
- Ask a trusted friend or family member for advice if you cannot understand the nature of your thoughts on your own.
Part 4 of 5: Preventing the Next Episode
Step 1. Get the dangerous objects out of the way
In order to prevent another episode of self-harm from occurring, it is necessary to get rid of the tools useful for this purpose. Get rid of any items previously used to harm you. Having to waste time searching for the ominous tool will allow you to counter the urge. The time it takes you to reflect on your actions or to make additional efforts will be a deterrent.
- Do not place sharp objects on the table and do not store razors in drawers, cupboards or in an easily accessible place.
- If you still can't get rid of these tools, try to limit their accessibility by wrapping them well and storing them on high, hard-to-reach shelves.
- If possible, give them to someone else. This way, you can be sure that you won't be able to find them. It is likely that at first you will go on a rampage, but when you calm down you will be happy that you could not harm yourself.
Step 2. Identify the triggers and avoid them
The moment you feel the need to hurt yourself, stop and think about what just happened - these are the triggers. Remember this in the future and try to avoid such situations. Sometimes, it is possible to foresee an unpleasant circumstance and, if it can be foreseen, it can also be avoided.
- The most common triggers are: difficult relationships with peers such as bullying or cyberbullying, stressful situations at school, social isolation, abuse, confusion about one's sexual identity and family problems.
- Some people tend to get cuts at certain times of the day. If the time of greatest risk is in the morning, be more careful when getting out of bed. You have to know yourself and know how to counter the next stimulus.
- For example, if you have just had a fight with a close person and you feel like you want to cut yourself, stop and think about the causes of your mood: "I feel like I want to harm myself because I have just argued with someone I I love and that makes me feel really bad. " Identify the specific element that can trigger negative emotions, such as a certain feeling or action. Commit to stemming the problem until it is under control or minimized.
Step 3. Acknowledge your successes
It is important to celebrate the progress made. With your favorite color, try marking the days on your calendar when you don't get cuts on your body. At the end of each month, calculate the total number of days you reached your goal and write it down at the bottom of the page. Commit to breaking the record next month.
Part 5 of 5: Get help from a professional
Step 1. Identify the root cause of the problem
In some circumstances, cutting yourself could indicate that you have another problem such as depression, anxiety, or other psychological disorders. By cutting themselves, an individual may feel relieved of intense feelings such as anger, guilt, anxiety, isolation, pain, or weakness. Also, this gesture can be interpreted as a way of expressing those feelings.
Other possible causes of self-harm are the need to control one's body, especially when rationality is lost. Some resort to self-harm to feel alive through pain. Others do it to react to trauma or other problems such as anxiety and depression
Step 2. Talk to a professional
If you are unable to block the self-harm mechanism with coping strategies or other methods, it is best to enlist the help of a professional to solve the problem. A counselor, clinical psychologist, or psychiatrist can explain why you hurt yourself and discuss your feelings and how to change your attitude with you.
- Consider using group therapy, which will help you discover that there are other people with the same problem as you.
- If you are a minor, inform your parents or legal guardian of your desire to speak to a mental health professional as soon as possible. Emphasize that this is an emergency.
- If you are an adult, consult your GP as soon as possible and ask for a referral to a therapist or psychologist who specializes in self-harm. Otherwise, look for a mental health clinic in your area or, if you are a believer, contact a member of the religious community.
Step 3. Get help immediately
If you have been seriously injured, you need to seek medical attention immediately. A serious injury is a cut that has been bleeding for more than ten minutes, a cut that does not stop bleeding, or if a major vein or artery has been hit, accidentally or deliberately.
You must seek help immediately even if you have thoughts of suicide
Step 4. Be aware of the differences
Self-harm and suicide are not the same, but they are often confused. The main difference lies in whether or not they intend to end their existence. A person who thinks about suicide often sees no other solution to the problem or wishes to end their life. Self-harm, on the other hand, is often the exact opposite as an individual voluntarily harms himself to feel alive or face his life.
- It is scientifically proven that self-harming people tend to commit suicide in the future. Self-harm is often linked to other factors such as depression, the feeling of having fewer and fewer reasons to live, or despair. Make sure you take any suicidal thoughts seriously and ask for help.
- Look for clear manifestations of the desire to commit suicide, for example if a person claims that they want to die or kill themselves, if they are looking for ways to do so, if they are talking about their despair or the absence of a reason to live.
- If you have suicidal thoughts, either yourself or someone you love, seek help. Contact the Samaritans Onlus Italia service at 800 86 00 22 for advice on how to help a person with suicidal tendencies or call 118 in the event of an attempted suicide.
