Difficulties are part of life. Sometimes, you have the impression of finding yourself in a very intricate labyrinth without knowing which direction to take and you feel lost, dejected and helpless. Begin to deal with this pressure by finding an immediate solution to emotional stress. Learn to manage your emotions to partially dissolve internal conflicts and anxieties. Accept that more difficult times can happen to everyone. The following strategies will help you feel stronger, more confident and ready to face future challenges.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Keep Calm in the Immediate
Step 1. Try the breathing exercises
The first step to staying calm in the most difficult moments is to relax your mind and body, so that you have the opportunity to think clearly, rationally and do your best to face the challenges that lie ahead. Breathing is an ally, always. By introducing air into your body, you not only help your muscles relax, but you also bring oxygen to the brain. By focusing on your breath, you give your mind a much needed break from emotional turmoil.
- You can breathe deeply in any place and context: at work, at home, in the car, while washing the dishes, when you are in the shower or as soon as you feel your nerves are about to give way.
- If you can, focus on letting the air in and out of your abdomen.
Step 2. Try taking a hot shower
Hot water helps you relieve the tension built up in your muscles during times of stress. It can be very useful because it allows you to take care of your body by removing the tension from the extremities, muscles and bones.
Step 3. Stretch
Relieve physical tension with a little exercise. Shake your limbs and do some gentle stretching exercises. Do not overdo it and do not force yourself if you think that some movement may hurt you or be uncomfortable. The goal is to calm the body and mind, not to feed stress.
Step 4. Try tapping
Tapping, or "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (EFT), is a relaxation body technique that consists in touching certain points of the body allowing you to relieve stress and the most distressing emotions.
- Identify the problem that is bothering you.
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Locate the points on the body to touch. Some may be:
- The outer part of the hand, on the fleshier side;
- The upper central part of the head;
- The area from which the eyebrows start;
- The bone towards the outside of the eye;
- Under the nose on top of the upper lip.
- Use two fingers to touch one of these points. Press it about 5 times. Move on to the next one.
- Repeat a sentence with which you confirm that you accept yourself. For example, as you press on a point, think: "Even though I constantly feel the need to cry, I accept myself deeply and completely."
Step 5. Try the visualization exercises
One of the easiest ways to calm down is to use a very simple visualization process: count down from 10 to 1. You can do it anywhere, like breathing exercises; you just need to add a mental picture to each number. Start at 10 as you inhale letting the air into your abdomen, then exhale when you get to 9. As you visualize the numbers, imagine gradually moving through your body to your feet.
Pay attention to any tension you may be holding in your muscles and let your breathing and concentration on the numbers ease this state
Step 6. Fill a box with items that encourage you to be strong
Use symbols and visual cues to feel calmer and more protected. Create a box that helps you hold on. You can put on anything that encourages you to move on and stay calm. Feeling strong and determined will allow you to stay calm in the most difficult situations.
For example, a teddy bear may give you a sense of security and well-being, while some movies can motivate you towards some goal. Maybe a famous person encourages you not to give up in the face of adversity or it may be that the photos of your children or your family give you the strength to continue along your path
Step 7. Remember to give yourself a reward
Recognize the credit you deserve for going through a rather complicated time. Moderation is essential, but you can reward yourself for keeping your cool. Go to the cinema or take a walk in the park. By rewarding yourself for the difficulties you are facing, you will be able to regulate your emotions and remain calm.
According to some studies, the secret to managing negative emotions is to develop a certain flexibility in order to be able to shift attention alternately between what is difficult and what we like
Part 2 of 4: Expressing Your Emotions Peacefully
Step 1. Keep an emotion diary
Unleashing emotions is a great way to help calm down in the most difficult times. When life confronts you with insurmountable obstacles, you may feel anger, helplessness, fear, sadness, pain or shame. If you repress your emotions, you risk fueling panic and feeling out of control. By learning to accept what you feel from time to time, you will also be able to understand what ways to adapt to cope with stressful situations.
Use a journal to write down anything that lets you unleash your emotions and don't forget that, as painful as they may seem, they are just passing emotions. You are a person and the best way to get rid of what you feel is to keep a journal so you can find the right way to channel it
Step 2. Work on anger
Using the emotion diary, list all the people, circumstances, social pressures, financial problems, losses, and anything else that annoys you. Write it all down on a sheet of paper and then tear it off. Focus on your anger, notice where on your body it manifests and pay attention to any other aspects that feed it. Imagine getting rid of it while you tear the paper.
- In fact, experts do not recommend venting anger by hitting and breaking objects or engaging in violent behavior. These gestures can actually increase it, not reduce it.
- On the other hand, exercise can be a great way to release pent-up anger. Several studies suggest that a good run or other forms of aerobic movement help promote calm after a traumatic experience, because they stimulate the production of endorphins, chemicals that promote a pleasant feeling of well-being.
- Read the wikiHow article How to Get Rid of Anger to learn how to express this emotion in a healthy way.
Step 3. Express sadness too
Using the emotion diary, write down what is hurting you right now. Do you feel hurt by someone's behavior or has something else happened? Are you sorry you missed an opportunity? Are you sad because you are going through a difficult time? Make a detailed list, remembering that all emotions are legitimate, even if they seem trivial.
Step 4. Give yourself a chance to cry
The best way to release sadness is to cry. If you feel more comfortable in private, find a secluded spot, like your room, jump in your car and drive for a while, or take a bath. Try to understand where in the body it manifests itself and accept it. Sometimes, it can be helpful to watch a drama or listen to a song that evokes this feeling.
Write in your emotion diary what you feel in the saddest moments, how you feel physically and what allowed you to get in touch with your feelings. It is normal to have low morale during adversity, but find the courage to feel and express your sadness
Step 5. Acknowledge your fears
Fear is the biggest emotion that prevents us from staying calm in difficult times. However, it is just an emotion, like all the others. By accepting it for what it is, which is an emotional response that is as manageable as the others, you can come to control it. It often comes with some thoughts, including: "I could never make it" or "I'm afraid to change" or "I'm afraid of the consequences". The truth is that it is always linked to the idea of ourselves in a future dimension.
- In the diary of emotions write down everything that scares you when you are going through a difficult moment. Then, start writing all the scenarios you can imagine, whether they are good or bad. Also write down the changes you may make to your current situation, but that terrify you. Add reasons why you fear making these changes.
- Keep updating your diary to get to the root of your fears. As you unleash your emotions, you will learn to remain calm to the point of becoming proactive or, if nothing else, aware of the alternatives available to you. You can't avoid all the obstacles in life, but you have the opportunity to understand what scares you and, as a result, alleviate your fears.
Step 6. Find a way to deal with what's frightening you
Once you have analyzed your fears, look for a way to combat them. The first step is to recognize that this emotion is a physiological response that we all have to deal with sooner or later. As with anxiety, the only way to overcome it is to accept and cope with it. Then, use the diary to begin identifying ways you can cope with and overcome what frightens you most.
- For example, imagine feeling frustrated at work because your merits are never recognized. However, you are afraid to expose yourself. The very thought of talking to your boss terrifies you.
- Try to understand why you are afraid. Is your boss unwilling to consider the ideas of others and, therefore, are you afraid that he will not listen to you? Don't feel up to talking to someone in a position of power? Are you afraid that you may seem desperate to get the credit you deserve and think you will lose your job? You will only be able to take a step forward once you understand the reasons why you are afraid.
- Once you have clarified the reasons that feed your fears, you can address them by considering various ways of handling a situation. For example, if you are afraid to talk to an executive, ask a friend if they can help you prepare for a confrontation. Set up the conversation with your boss by imagining two scenarios: one with a happy ending and the other catastrophic. So, practice with your friend. This method will allow you to solve problems and have more confidence in yourself.
- Be patient with yourself. To overcome one's fears it takes time, indeed it could take a lifetime.
Part 3 of 4: Recognizing Your Inner Strength
Step 1. Meditate
Meditation encourages you to accept who you are today, without judging yourself. It helps you understand how strong you are. Many researches have shown that this practice has a number of benefits for physical and mental health: it lowers the heart rate, strengthens the immune system, promotes a sense of calm and well-being. It can also help reprogram how the brain reacts to stress. There are various forms of meditation, although the most scientifically studied is "conscious" meditation.
- If you can't find a meditation course in your city, you can take one on the Internet. If you speak English, please note that the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) has produced several meditation guides, which can be downloaded in MP3 format.
- There are also several smartphone apps that offer guided meditations and short meditation exercises.
- And of course, on wikiHow you can find numerous articles that teach you how to meditate.
Step 2. Try the technique of full awareness
Its application has a scientific basis. Studies have shown that using this technique allows you to gain more peace of mind, relax, improve relationships, increase empathy, and even lower blood pressure.
- The Greater Good Science Center in Berkeley, at the University of California, has a website that offers a variety of full awareness techniques for you to try in daily life.
- It is possible to practice different exercises of this meditative form in a few minutes a day. For example, next time you have a snack, eat slower. Focus on every aspect of what you are experiencing, using all your senses. What smells do you smell? What do you see? What noises come to your ears? What does food taste like? What is its consistency? What sensations do you feel while eating a certain dish? Can you feel it as it goes down your throat all the way to your stomach? By paying attention to the little things, you will be able to practice full awareness in daily life.
Step 3. Build self-confidence by evaluating your results
Throughout your life you will encounter many difficulties, big and small. In your emotion diary, write down how you feel emotionally - sadness, anger, fear, shame - and how you handle it. Write how you react, what behavior you adopt, how you deal with a certain situation.
Write down the achievements you are proud of. Record the last time you made someone smile. List all the beautiful sides of your character, the things that give you courage, the times you have had to insist. Update this list every day
Step 4. Prepare an encouraging poster
Be prepared for the idea of recognizing your qualities and trust that, regardless of the outcome, you will overcome this phase of your life, even if it takes time. Prepare a small poster to write "I am stronger than I think" or something similar on it. Hang it next to your bed or bathroom mirror.
Step 5. Rephrase negative thoughts into more positive terms
You may fall into self-pity and think, "I deserve it" or "it happened because I'm a bad person." Stay calm in the toughest moments of your life by recognizing your worth. Nurturing a sense of healthy self-worth can really help you be resilient when you're going through very tough trials.
List all negative thoughts in relation to your situation and rephrase them in terms that are more positive and true to reality. Dichotomous statements, such as "Everything always goes wrong with me," risk eroding self-esteem. Try rephrasing them by giving space to other thoughts, such as "Life is a constant challenge. Everyone goes through difficult times. I have lived through times when things have not been so bad." Then list all your achievements, just to see the glass half full
Step 6. Write a gratitude journal
Living life while keeping a healthy, realistic, and comprehensive perspective of what's truly important can help you stay calm during turbulent times. Getting to really know each other and knowing where your place is in the world is a reliable way to stay calm during the toughest moments.
- In your emotion diary, include a gratitude list. Write down all the things you feel grateful for every day, no matter how big or small they are. Maybe you've seen a particularly green blade of grass: write it in your diary. Maybe you have decided not to give up today and face the difficulties as best you could. Sometimes, not giving up is the best we can do. Write in big letters "Today I did not give up" and be proud of yourself.
- If you find it useful, look at some images taken from space to get an idea of the strange world of nature, the mystery of life and the beauty that surrounds you. You can feel stronger knowing that humans are capable of getting through the toughest moments and that you are one of them.
Step 7. Find meaning in this battle
A strategy that allows you to face difficulties head-on is to make sense of what you do, your struggles and the adversities posed by life. Using your diary, write down everything you are learning in this period. Write down opportunities to be boldly seized, lessons to treasure, and how you can grow from this experience. Write down the reasons to keep going. Write down why you chose to face this long battle.
Why did you decide to find a way that allows you to stay calm in times of trouble? Is it for your children? Yourself? Someone you love? Your pets? Why did you choose to live this life? By discovering a sense in what you do, you will be able to overcome obstacles with serenity and determination
Part 4 of 4: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Get enough sleep
You don't have to neglect yourself in the toughest moments. This way, you can keep yourself fit and healthy. Even if you find it difficult to sleep, take the time to lie down, close your eyes and rest. Keep in mind that your body and mind are working non-stop to help you get through a stressful situation and that you need time to recover and recover your strength.
Step 2. Eat a healthy diet
Some people react to stress by eating little or overeating. In these cases, the diary can come in handy because it allows you to control your diet. There are also applications to download to your computer or smartphone that help you to respect your calorie needs and not to overeat due to stress.
Choose healthy foods that are good for your body and brain, such as fruits, vegetables, protein sources, and grains
Step 3. Practice physical activity
Movement helps to clear your head and reduce stress. Even a 10-minute walk can help ease the tension. Dancing can recharge you physically and emotionally.
Go up and down the steps for 10 minutes. Take a little run. Get your blood flowing and relieve stress with some exercise
Step 4. Use a support net
If you have friends or loved ones you can trust, count on them to get through the toughest situations. Let them know that you need help and that you feel the need to let off steam.
Step 5. Consider consulting a psychotherapist
It is not easy to stay calm in the face of adversity. Maybe you feel like you can't control yourself emotionally or you feel like you are going to explode in the presence of other people. Maybe you have a hard time getting a good night's rest. If you feel like you are losing control of your life, now is the time to seek professional help. If a continuing sense of depression, sadness, or despair prevents you from living your normal daily life, consult a therapist. He will be able to guide you and help you find the calm you need.
