If you drive to work every day, chances are you'll spend at least an hour of your day there. And sometimes time spent in the car can distort your usually calm mood and turn you into an aggressive, self-righteous bull. Still, staying calm during an episode of aggression behind the wheel, whether it's directed at you or coming from you, is key to staying focused, minimizing stress levels, and getting out of that experience safely.
Aggression behind the wheel includes behaviors such as obscene or provocative gestures, yelling, swearing and failure to respect the safety distance. It can also mean stopping the car and going wild yelling at the other driver. In some cases there is physical violence, which you will surely want to avoid, so this article focuses on the first set of behaviors described and on how to keep calm, to avoid coming into physical contact or being chased by an aggressive driver behind the wheel.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Dealing with Others' Steering Wheel Aggression
Step 1. Think about why the other person is showing signs of aggression at the wheel towards you, such as making rude gestures
Did you cut him off, did you accelerate while he was overtaking or were you going too slowly in the fast lane? If it doesn't depend on your driving, maybe you have a sticker on the back of the car that caused a bad reaction? Of course, there are many other reasons for the kinks behind the wheel, but if you contributed to the aggression in some way, you can try to change the behavior that caused it.
Step 2. Think that the aggressive person behind the wheel is a human being
Just like you, this person travels for work. Just like you, this person has different experiences throughout the day. Like you, this person hates traffic jams, traffic and smog. And just like you, this person isn't always perfect. However, perhaps unlike you, this person may have had a very heavy experience that led them to misbehave on the street. Some drivers, behind the wheel, bring out their most primitive impulses and transform driving into a form of competition or power play, in which they must show others that they are in full control, that you are in their way or are not standing. playing by their rules. This in no way justifies their behavior, but it helps you understand that that person is not thinking clearly. This is a reason to stay as calm as possible and react clearly, trying to focus on his humanity. Most of the reasons that cause aggressive driving behavior are related to irrational or moral elements that you will have to try not to feed further. Some reasons could be:
- Fatigue
- A bad day
- Drugs or alcohol
- Travel companions who annoy or provoke
- Anger towards life in general
- Fear or anxiety while driving or in traffic
- Urgency to go somewhere
Step 3. Slow down, move and allow the other driver to pass
Most of the people behind the wheel are angry that they have to get to a certain place quickly (even if it doesn't matter, it seems so to them) and are convinced that you are in the way. Your goal must be to avoid any contact - the faster and further it goes, the better it will be for you. If necessary, change your route to avoid further contact. You will be calmer when you arrive at your destination.
Step 4. Use a sense of humor to deflect anger
When someone makes a nasty gesture to you and you want to stay calm, pretend that they are telling you that you are number one. Or laugh at his obscene gesture or shouting. Think it's a little fish locked in a tank trying to communicate.
Step 5. Focus on the moment when you are away from traffic and that annoying behavior
Think about what you will do when you get home. A relaxing bath, crawling into bed, a good read, etc. Think about your children, your family, your friends and the time you will soon be spending with them.
Step 6. Ignore the aggression behind the wheel
Act as if that person is yelling at the car next to or behind yours. Look straight ahead, oblivious.
Step 7. Smile
Smiling at the aggressive person behind the wheel is a nice way to annoy them. Stop anger with kindness.
Step 8. Turn on the radio and tune it to your favorite station
Sing to take your mind off the traffic; don't be afraid to turn up the volume. Or choose relaxing rather than energizing music. One way or another, you should try to create a barrier between you and the brawler gesturing behind you.
Alternatively, plug in your iPod and listen to a podcast you like. Or listen to an audiobook
Method 2 of 2: Calm Down After Excessive Driving Aggression
Step 1. Address your tendency for bad road behavior
While it is not pleasant to admit that you indulge in moments of animosity and bad gestures while driving, if you do, it is important to recognize it, in order to find a solution. Some signs that indicate your driving aggression are:
- Bad looks through the rearview mirror.
- Grumble under your breath and complain.
- Swear under your breath or scream, perhaps even shaking your fists.
- Do not respect the safety distances.
- Getting angry at other drivers.
Step 2. Be aware of how your physiological system responds when you get angry, hateful or annoyed, thinking your rights are being ignored
The bodily reactions that occur when you feel danger or get angry include an accelerated breathing, an increased heart rate, and a spike in adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress-induced hormones. If it happens infrequently, that's something that can pass you. However, if you regularly experience these reactions, you could endanger your health, with high levels of stress, heart problems, high blood pressure and reduced immune defenses due to tension.
Step 3. Use breathing techniques to calm yourself
Breathing deeply with your diaphragm is essential to calm down and relax. Deep breathing helps slow down the aforementioned reactions by decreasing heart rate and blood pressure. You should also notice increased sweating. Training yourself to breathe deeply whenever something annoying happens while driving will help you stay calm. Breathe deeply when someone crosses your path or drives too slowly in front of you. Breathe deeply when they make a sudden turn. Whenever something happens that could spark your anger, breathe deeply.
Step 4. Put your perfectionism aside, drop it
The perception of being the best driver is yours, not that of others. Undoubtedly, other motorists will think that it is you who cannot drive. The truth is probably somewhere in between. However, anyone can get it wrong at one time or another and it often happens when driving. Are you old enough to admit your mistake, however unhappy?
Step 5. Think that others are people like you too
As discussed in the previous section, by humanizing the individual who has been bothering you, you will stop seeing him as a major nuisance and will begin to regard him as being vulnerable, tired, bothered by traffic and eager to get from A to B as much as you are.
The people in the cars next to you are mothers and fathers, brothers, sons and daughters, cousins, aunts and uncles, bosses and colleagues. They too are full of hopes, fears and desires like you. Some of them are perhaps less focused than usual and have made a mistake in judgment, but do you think you are so perfect that you can judge them?
Step 6. Keep dashboard photos that remind you of who you are and what matters
A photo of your spouse, children, friends, or pet can keep you centered when you start feeling angry at another driver on the road. Look at the photos and breathe deeply to help you understand what really matters to you and why it is vital to stay calm.
Step 7. Give the other driver the peace sign and smile
This usually alleviates the situation. If that doesn't work, keep following the methods outlined in this article and try to find a way out if the situation escalates to a dangerous level.
Advice
- If the aggressive driver starts following you or throws something at your car, stay calm. Call the police or the brigade. Try to remember the description of the car, the driver and, if you can, the license plate number to give to the police. Go to the nearest police office. Drive quietly and, if you can, make at least four right turns. The pursuer will probably give up, for you to drive in circles.
- Try to act mature in any situation.
- If they make you angry or yell at you for a good reason (even if it was a mistake), mutter "I'm sorry." This may remind him that you are human too and you are not only there to irritate the other.
- Modern psychology has shown that thoughts about a situation often anticipate how we feel about it. However, in the heat of the moment, these thoughts, or cognitions, are not always rational or aware. But the emotional and behavioral consequences certainly are. The good news is that such irrational thoughts can be replaced with more rational ones, thereby improving our feelings and reactions in certain emotionally charged situations. Read more by getting a cognitive behavior therapy book.
- Always try to anticipate events with thought; imagine situations that you consider "risk factors" and overcome them, retracing with your mind what you would do before actually finding yourself in that situation.
- Remember it's just a finger or a shouted insult. The raised middle finger is typical of cowards who don't say what they feel. Shouted insults are for angry cowards who are too fearful or too arrogant to ask for help in managing their feelings. Feel compassion, not anger.
- Remember: Anyone who shows you the finger or gets mad in traffic has problems. It has nothing to do with you. He deserves your compassion, because something is wrong with him.
Warnings
- If your children are in the car, try to avoid swearing or bad deeds. Remember that they will remember and imitate you.
- Aggression behind the wheel is never safe. Try to stay calm, regardless of the rest.
- Don't lean out of your car window, don't throw objects, and don't honk - it will only cause other problems. Instead of just one person, there will be others looking in your direction.
- Keep your eyes on the road. Looking away for just one second is enough.
- Resist the urge to argue with angry drivers. A greeting, a kiss, or a spontaneous smile could be mistaken for sarcastic gestures and further provoke that person. You would become a fighter, not a victim, the instant you start interacting with that person, so don't do it.
