Everyone has happened to go to a party and find themselves listening to a stranger babbling about her collection of exotic cockroaches, or hearing a colleague complain about her herpes for the 80th time. You are desperate for an escape, without seeming rude or hurting someone's feelings. Is all this familiar to you? How to escape a boring conversation without appearing to be grumpy? Read on to find out.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Involving Other People
Step 1. Introduce this person to someone else
It's a quick and easy strategy to get rid of a tedious conversation. It works great in any case, whether it's at a party or a networking event. Just look around to find someone to drag into the conversation, ask them if they already know who you are, and then introduce them quickly. In theory, those present came together for a very specific reason, such as a shared interest or a business opportunity. You can pause a little longer as these two people get to know each other better and then apologize for leaving. Here's what you might say:
- “Hey, do you know Cristian? He also sings in the choir. The world is small, isn't it?”.
- “Have they already introduced you to Marco Rossi? He's the head of that company I was talking about earlier”.
Step 2. Get help from a friend
While it's not the most mature move in history, despair could reach such high levels that it makes you look at your friend and take the unmistakable "Please save me" gaze. Your friend should understand that this is a social emergency and rush to your aid. If this type of experience happens to both of you often, you should think of a signal, such as pulling your earlobe down or clearing your throat noisily. Sure, it shouldn't be too obvious, but it should let your friend know they need to get close to you and help you escape from a certain conversation.
- This friend of yours may come up and say "Sorry if I'm bothering you, but I absolutely have to talk to you." Afterward, apologize profusely and walk away.
- It might even join the conversation and make it a little more lively, in case it's impossible to get away from it.
Step 3. Ask to be introduced to someone else
This is another creative way to get rid of a boring conversation. Look around the room for a person you'd like to get to know, while not completely dying for them to be introduced to you. This could be a business connection or a member of your social circle that you have not yet known personally. Ask your interlocutor to introduce it to you so you have a better chance of talking about interesting topics. Here's what you might say:
- “Hey, is that Giovanni, Maria's boyfriend? You've been talking about it for months, but I haven't met him personally yet. Could you introduce him to me? ".
- “That's Mr. Bianchi, the director of the marketing department, right? We've been e-mailing each other all week, but I haven't met him in person yet. Could you please introduce us? I would appreciate it so much ".
Step 4. Go away when other people intervene
While it may take some time for this to happen, it's a great move if you're too shy or embarrassed to apologize and walk away. Wait for someone to approach you and for the conversation to regain a natural rhythm. Once this happens, say hello to everyone and apologize. That way, the person you were talking to won't take it personally and think it's simply late for you.
Step 5. Invite your interlocutor to join you to do something
This is another classic move to end the conversation, but it's a little kinder. Tell this person that you are about to do something and ask if they want to participate. In case you don't want to, well, congratulations, you've just gotten rid of a boring conversation. If she says yes, then consider it an opportunity to meet or bump into other people in the meantime and lose the original thread. Here's what you might say:
- "I'm starving. I absolutely need to eat something. Would you like to accompany me? ".
- “I'm running out of my drink. Would you like to go to the bar with me?”.
- “Hey, that's Gianni Bianchi, the famous writer. I've been wanting to introduce myself ever since I arrived, and now he's finally alone. Would you like to accompany me? ".
Part 2 of 3: Make up an excuse to leave
Step 1. Tell him you need to talk to someone
This is another classic move that never disappoints. If you really want to get rid of this boring conversation, then you can say that you are on a date with someone else or that you need to talk to a certain person. While it may be a bit unsympathetic, make it sound important so your interlocutor will understand that you mean it. Here's how you might say it:
- “Here is Mr. Bianchi; I really have to ask him a question about the annual report. Excuse me".
- “I have to talk to Maria about our summer project. See you later":
Step 2. Apologize that you need to go to the bathroom
It's the easiest way to get rid of a boring conversation. It may not be nice to say “I have to go to the bathroom” or “I have to pee”, so opt for “If you want to excuse me” as you look towards the bathroom. In short, make it clear what you need to do. No one will doubt that you need to clear your bladder and it is the strongest excuse you can have.
- You can come up with a more elaborate reason for using the bathroom, for example you need to take a tablet for your allergy, you have something in your eye, or you need privacy for any other reason.
- Just make sure you really go to the bathroom if you say you will. Otherwise, you could hurt this person's feelings.
Step 3. Tell him you are going to eat or have a drink
This is another good solution to get rid of a boring conversation. If you are talking to someone and you feel that the dialogue starts to slow down after a short exchange, then discreetly gulp down all your soda and say that you are thirsty or hungry. There are always legitimate reasons to end a conversation at a party, provided you are nice. It is ideal to look for a friend or acquaintance near the bar or at the buffet. Here's what you might say:
- “Today I am really very thirsty. Excuse me, I'm going to have a glass of water”.
- “I can't stop eating those Christmas cookies. I'm addicted to it! See you later".
Step 4. Tell him you need to help a friend
It's a harder excuse to handle, but you can try. Try to be credible and act as if your friend, who is actually talking smoothly to someone, needs to be saved from boredom. Look at your friend, then address your interlocutor by saying:
- “Oh no! Alice is sending me a signal, I have to run right away to rescue her. It was a pleasure, I really have to go now”.
- “Oh, I promised Elisa you wouldn't leave her trapped with her ex at the party. I have to go and save her before she gets mad at me”.
Step 5. Tell him you need to make a phone call
While this isn't the best excuse there is to end a conversation, it can definitely help. If you are a good actor and you can come up with a believable story, or you can comment on it naturally, then your interlocutor will not smell burning. There are many good reasons to make a phone call, especially if the conversation has now touched on topics such as methods for cooking zucchini bread. Here are some gentle ways to get rid of it:
- “Sorry, but my real estate agent and I have been chasing each other on the phone all day. I have to call him to find out if my offer to buy a house has been accepted”.
- “My mother called me and I didn't hear the phone ring. I have to call her back immediately to ask her what to buy for the dinner she has organized at her house”.
- “They called me from the company where I interviewed today and I didn't hear the phone ring. Excuse me, I'm going to listen to the message they left on the answering machine”.
Step 6. Tell him you need to get back to work
This is another popular excuse to get rid of a boring conversation. Of course, if you're at a birthday party, it won't work, but it's fine in many other situations, whether you're working in the garden or on a lunch break at school or the office. Here are some nice ways to end a conversation for this reason:
- “I'm sorry, I really have to get back to work. I have to answer more than 30 e-mails before I can go home”.
- “I'd like to keep talking, but in a few days I have an important exam and I haven't studied anything”.
- "I'd like to know more about your stamp collection, but I promised my father I'd help him around the house tonight."
Part 3 of 3: Other Strategies
Step 1. Send body language signals
As the conversation draws to a close, your body can do some of this "dirty" work. Step back slowly, start distancing yourself from the person who is speaking and try to move your body slightly away from theirs. You should move without being rude, just to let her know that it's late for you. You can do this just before voicing your apology or announcing your departure.
Step 2. Return the conversation to the reason it started
If you started talking to someone for a specific reason, then you should pick it up again to end the conversation and close the circle. Your interlocutor will have the feeling that you have actually given importance to the topic of the conversation, without having absolutely bored you. Furthermore, this will give a sense of closure to the dialogue. Here are some ways to do this:
- “I'm glad the trip went well. Call me before organizing another one!”.
- “Well, it looks like you wrote a great article. I can't wait to read it”.
- “I'm glad you're adapting to this neighborhood. It's always nice to have friendly neighbors”.
Step 3. Physically end the conversation
Once it really ends, you should shake your interlocutor's hand, greet him with a nod or pat him on the back, depending on the context of the situation. This helps deliver the message you actually want to communicate. If you like this person and would like to see them again, then you can exchange phone numbers or business cards. Give her the benefit of the doubt anyway: maybe on another occasion it won't be so boring.
Step 4. Greet her kindly
As bored as it may have been, you have no reason to be rude, especially if this person has tried to be nice. Compliment her, tell her it was a pleasure to talk to her or that you were happy to meet her. You should always be polite, even though you may occasionally speak to someone who has been as enjoyable as watching the paint dry on a wall. A little courtesy won't hurt anyone. If, on the other hand, this person does not leave you alone, you have a good reason to be less friendly; if so, you should politely explain to her that you don't have much time and that you wanted to talk to other people as well. Here's how to greet her kindly:
- “I'm glad I finally met you. It's nice to know that Samanta has so many wonderful friends”.
- “It was a pleasure to talk to you; it's hard to meet nice people in this city!”.
- “I'm glad you're all right. I hope to see you soon".
Step 5. Your actions must be consistent with your words
This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when ending a conversation. It might seem obvious, but many people feel so relieved after shying away from tedious dialogue that they forget to act on the excuse they made up. If you said you needed the bathroom, go there. If you said you were going to talk to Cristian, then approach him. If you said you were hungry, eat at least one bite. You don't have to make it clear that you couldn't wait to leave, or your interlocutor will be upset, and will know that you lied to end the conversation.
Once your action matches your words, you are free! Enjoy the rest of the day or evening without the pressing threat of another boring conversation
Advice
- Remember that you can leave out of the blue if it's a boring group conversation. It is generally more than acceptable to jump from conversation to conversation at an event.
- Smile politely and nod, even if you're thinking about something else.
- Pretend someone is calling you from across the room or your cell phone is vibrating. Apologize and walk away.
- If you don't like this person at all and you don't want to talk to them, let them know that you have no interest, but always politely.
Warnings
- Evaluate your interlocutor before letting him know that you are not interested in talking to him. Maybe he is chatting with you because he feels lonely or is not very good at having interesting conversations.
- Don't stop talking to him out of the blue and ignore him. This is obnoxious, and you could make yourself an enemy.
