The last time you talked to a girl, you found yourself muttering something about math homework, you mentioned your dentist appointment and then you started cracking your fingers as she stared at the floor in awkward silence. Don't panic: we've all been there. It's okay if your last conversation wasn't as thrilling as the new Hunger Games - if you're prepared and will make an effort, the next time you talk to a girl, you'll be sick of her.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Starting on the Right Foot
Step 1. Choose a light topic
When talking to a girl for the first time, choose a topic that you can discuss with confidence and that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Don't tell her about the strange irritation on your back and don't ask her what was the most embarrassing moment of her life; keep these topics for when you get to know each other better. Stay on safe topics that can still fuel an interesting conversation without making the girl uncomfortable. Do not be vulgar. She likes to be treated like a lady! Here are some nice and safe topics to start a fun conversation with:
- Favorite musical groups
- Recently viewed movies
- Pets
- Brothers and sisters
- What did you do over the weekend or what will you do next
- Programs for the next vacation
Step 2. Avoid getting personal
Not going personal goes hand in hand with choosing a light topic. Although when you get to know each other better you can have deeper conversations, for now it is best not to talk about any grief in the family, first loves, strange illnesses or your fear of death. If you feel that you have immediately bonded with this girl, then you will be able to move very quickly from a generic topic to something more important, but you should still avoid dealing with personal issues at the beginning because she could pull back.
- Okay, if she introduces a personal topic and she wants to talk about it you can indulge her and see where it takes you, but always try to be attentive and discreet.
- Check her facial expressions and body language. If she walks away or seems annoyed when you ask her about something that seems pretty simple to you, maybe it's a sensitive subject for her.
Step 3. Keep smiling
Smiling and maintaining a positive attitude will fuel the girl's interest and she will talk to you more willingly. You don't have to smile until your facial muscles are sore, do it when necessary. This will show her that you enjoy talking to her and will leave her feeling positive. You may be too nervous to remember to smile, so remember to stay in control.
Smiling is essential as soon as you start talking to her and when you end the conversation. It is important to start well and finish with a flourish
Step 4. Look for eye contact
Eye contact is the key to making her feel important and letting her know that you really care what she's saying. You may be shy and as you talk to her you may find yourself staring at the tips of your shoes or looking around just because you can't hold her gaze, but try to break this habit as quickly as possible. You don't have to keep intense and adoring eye contact all the time because she might get a little scared, but try to make eye contact when she talks and you will make her feel important.
Step 5. Ask her questions
It's the key to making her feel special in no time. You can show your genuine interest in her by asking her about her or the things she does. She doesn't have to be super personal - better not - but you might make the effort to show her that you really want to get to know her. If he doesn't ask you anything, then forget about the questions for a while, or he may feel under interrogation. Here are some things you might ask her:
- Hobbies and interests
- Favorite bands, books or TV series
- His favorite subject at school
- His dream job
- His best friends
- His projects
Step 6. Compliment her
When you've been chatting for a while, you can pay her a little compliment to make her feel appreciated. You don't have to overdo it and no compliments until you really think what you're going to say. You can compliment her sweatshirt, her new hairstyle, a piece of jewelry she wears, or even an aspect of her personality. Don't be too cheeky (You have great legs) or you will make her uncomfortable. Pick something simple and tell her you like it to show her that you care about her but don't want to push your boundaries.
A compliment to conversation is a realistic goal. You don't have to shower her with compliments, because you will lose credibility
Part 2 of 3: Keeping His Interest Alive
Step 1. Find commonalities
Once the conversation has started, start looking for your commonalities so that you can find something to talk about. While it's not strictly necessary to have something in common to make a conversation interesting, it could help you bond more easily. When you talk to her, try to see if you share something, perhaps the love for a particular sport or team, or the fact that you grew up in the same place, or even a mutual friend or teacher.
- Talking about something you have in common can help you open up and have an engaging conversation, as well as have new topics for discussion. For example, you could start talking about how much you both love Muse, tell each other what you felt at one of their concerts, and from there find yourself talking about other bands you like and so on.
- Make the things you have in common come out naturally, don't try to force things by maybe asking her if she likes the same things you like. Try to keep it open so the conversation doesn't end suddenly if she doesn't share your interests. For example, instead of saying, Have you seen Frozen? It's my new favorite movie., you might say, Have you seen any interesting movies recently?.
Step 2. Ask her for her opinion
This is another way to fuel the conversation and show the girl that you really enjoy talking to her and care. If you ask her for her opinion, perhaps on the current political situation or even on your new shoes, she will understand that you see her as a human being and really care what she has to offer. She will understand that you are not just hitting on her but that you care and respect her as a person.
Do not ask her questions that have a simple yes or no answer, but opt for open ones, so that there is room for discussion. Try What do you think about… instead of Do you think…
Step 3. Use context
If you are nervous and feel that the conversation is languishing, look around to see if the context can give you new insights. Maybe there's a concert poster behind you and you can ask her if she likes the band. Maybe you are near a coffee shop and you can ask her if she goes there often. You may notice that she is wearing a T-shirt from a city your sister has been to and you can ask her if she has been there too or would like to visit. While you shouldn't look around distractedly as soon as the conversation starts, if you start to run out of topics you can take a cue from your surroundings.
This is a creative way to keep the girl's interest alive and keep her talking. She will be struck by your sense of observation
Step 4. Make her laugh
If you want to keep his interest, then the jokes will serve you. If you make her laugh, she'll keep talking to you, so look for opportunities to make her laugh. You can make fun of yourself, or make light jokes about a mutual friend, or make a joke that is a bit gooey if you think they might react well. If you have a funny story that you think might make her laugh, tell it, as long as it's not too long or complicated. Don't overdo it, but try to make her laugh.
- If you're not usually funny, don't try to be who you aren't. The girl will notice that you are straining and feel bad for you. Try to be yourself, and if in the meantime you can also make her laugh, so be it.
- If you don't know her well, don't make fun of her unless you are already flirting or joking with each other. He may misunderstand you and take offense, and that's certainly not what you want.
Step 5. Get her to talk
You may be so worried about boring her that you dominate the conversation to the point that she can't say a word. Talking all the time doesn't mean having his attention; instead, taking breaks and even leaving space for silence could be the opportunity waiting to say something interesting. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and make sure you leave half the space for her, or more if you're shy.
If you talk about yourself all the time, you will seem self-centered and she won't want to talk to you anymore
Step 6. Ask her about her interests
Most girls want to talk about the things they love, so don't forget to ask her what she does in her spare time, why she likes it and is important to her. You don't have to push too hard, and you will see her face light up when she starts talking about something that is really important to her. It will make her feel special and she will understand that you really care what she is passionate about.
If she isn't too verbose when she talks about her interests, you can talk about yours too
Part 3 of 3: Close in style
Step 1. Show her what sets you apart from others
You don't have to jump through hoops to impress. However, you want the girl to leave the conversation with the certainty of knowing you a little better and knowing what makes you different from everyone else. Maybe it's your sense of humor, your charm, or your passion for the guitar. Whatever it is, bring her a little closer and show her who you really are. That way, when you meet again, she will have something to talk about and fond memories of your last conversation.
He doesn't have to know everything about you after 10 or 15 minutes of conversation. But he should walk away knowing at least a couple of interesting things about you. If you've been talking about this and that all along, it won't be easy to get to know each other better
Step 2. Don't overdo it
Stay relaxed and yourself and remember that she will be just as nervous as you are. This means you don't have to come up with amazing stories to grab his attention or talk about something you don't really care about, like motorcycles, just because you think it makes you look "cool". You shouldn't swear or make negative comments about people just because you think you impress them. Take a deep breath, relax and talk as if you are standing in front of your friend, without getting performance anxiety because it's a girl.
If you are trying too hard, she will understand. Your goal should let her know that you enjoy talking to her without letting her know that you are really struggling
Step 3. Yes positive
If you feel that the conversation is closing, be positive no matter what you are talking about. If you have spent the last 5 minutes complaining about your parents, teachers, about the weather or about something that got you down, you will not leave a positive impression. You want to leave her with some good vibes and you want her to have fun talking to you, not bored or even depressed.
You can also complain a little if it helps you bond with her, perhaps about something that bothers both of you, but try to keep the negative thoughts for someone who knows you a little better
Step 4. Believe in yourself
Remember to believe in yourself throughout the conversation. Show her that you believe in what you are saying and that you are comfortable with yourself. If he senses this, he will understand that you are a guy at ease in his skin and that it is easy and fun to talk to you. If you're nervous, get down or say you just don't know what to talk about, they'll feel uncomfortable and hardly want to talk to you again.
- You don't have to act like you're the coolest guy in the world or a movie star; act like you are happy with yourself and the rest will come by itself.
- There is a big difference between bragging and being sure of yourself. If you brag too much, she will walk away.
Step 5. Say hello when the conversation is still going on
It is a great way to leave a positive impression. If you see that the conversation is going great, you are fine and you have bonded, tell her that you like to talk to her but you need to go. While it may seem ridiculous to walk away in the middle of an interesting conversation, that's what you need to do to make your mark. If you wait too long, the conversation could end and you find yourself with no arguments, and why should she talk to you again then? Wait until you've hit the mark and then tell her with all the kindness in the world that you really have to go.
