You find yourself out of the house, deep in thought, and you meet someone you have recently known or a particularly interesting stranger. If you have someone you had a good time with during the previous meeting or if you think you can become great friends just by observing them, you probably want to know how to start a good conversation with them, so you can find out if you are compatible. Learning to initiate and carry on a spontaneous and interesting dialogue with a new friend can help make the experience enjoyable for both of you.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Start the Conversation
Step 1. Say hello
Approach the person you want to talk to and start with a simple hello. Introduce yourself and ask her what her name is. While you may feel embarrassed to start a conversation without an explicit reason to do so, generally everyone accepts friendly approaches.
- If you are in a group and are hoping to speak to a particular person, don't rush. Simply sitting, listening, and enjoying each other's company are great ways to become familiar with people.
- Wait a moment before introducing yourself, without being intrusive. Remember that silence is a form of communication. Even in social settings, people will react positively to a moment of comfortable silence, which indicates safety and contentment.
- When in a group, ask for the names of people you don't know. Thanks to this friendly behavior, you will communicate to everyone that you are a sociable and approachable person.
Step 2. Ask questions of the person who intrigues you
Everyone likes to talk about their passions, so some specific questions are great for breaking the ice. Make sure you also talk about topics you care about, such as your hobbies or interests, to create a quality two-way conversation. You have many options available.
- Ask the person who intrigues you what they do in their free time. This way you not only carry on the conversation, but also show that you are interested in how she spends her time.
- Be interested in what he does in life, but don't be too specific. Just say a sentence like: "So, how do you spend your days?". That way, you can respond as you please.
- If you're looking for a particularly interesting question, ask her if she recently read a quote that changed her perspective on the world.
Step 3. Avoid particularly controversial topics
Don't talk about your radical political or religious beliefs as soon as you meet someone. You should also avoid deeply personal issues, as well as private information.
- Even if you feel like you have the same point of view as your interlocutor, there is no need to make your position known immediately.
- Avoid conversations about world views or principles, even if you share them. Save them for a more in-depth dialogue in the future.
Step 4. Speak respectfully
Choose your words carefully and try to be courteous until you get to know the other person's sense of humor better or how sensitive they are. In conversations, you should always remember good manners.
- Always avoid interrupting a person while they are talking. Instead of thinking about what you are going to say, focus on the words of your interlocutor. Try living in the present, for example by practicing mindfulness. Notice your feet on the floor and what feelings they convey to you, so you can stay alert and alert.
- Avoid raising your voice. Even when emotion is the cause of this behavior, speaking too loudly can intimidate the listener or make you sound too intense.
- Try to speak clearly. By spelling the words well, you will not only ensure that you are understood, it will also make it much easier to listen to you.
- A good rule of thumb to keep in mind while speaking is that you are not competing with your interlocutor, but you are sharing the conversation!
Method 2 of 3: Maintain an Interesting Dialogue
Step 1. Respond reasonably
Answer your new friend's questions in detail. If you don't know how to reply, ask for clarification, especially if you've been asked a question. The most important aspect is sincerity, because it communicates that you care about the conversation and the attention of the other person.
- Work out your answers. If someone asks you which part of a movie you prefer, don't just answer "The ending!". Explain why you liked it and what you think will happen next.
- Try to say what you think and not what the other person wants to hear. Always avoid assuming what other people expect or what their preferences are.
Step 2. Listen actively
To become good at conversations and as a friend, one of the most important tips is to listen well. In the simplest version of the term, actively listening simply means paying attention to what your interlocutor is saying. However, to become really good at listening, you need to give the other person the time and space to talk openly, actively get to know them, and have a chance to fully consider what they have to say.
- Look the other person in the eye during the conversation, but avoid staring at them.
- Consider that many people simply wait their turn to speak and do not actively listen to what their interlocutor is saying.
- Push your thoughts away while the other person is talking. Focus on his arguments and wait a few moments in silence when he has finished speaking. This way, you will be sure that he has nothing more to say and you will have time to think of a sensible answer.
Step 3. Limit the use of interjections
These expressions include "ahem", "let's say" and "that is". While there is nothing wrong with using them from time to time, repeating them too often will give the impression that you are distracted or that you don't care to express yourself clearly.
Step 4. Realize that people have different opinions from yours
Even those you admire immediately and those who seem very similar to you can have visions very distant from yours. Differences of opinion can enrich a friendship and contribute to the intellectual development of both people involved.
- When you disagree with someone's opinion and want to communicate it, make sure you have a good reason to do so and always try to be polite.
- If you disagree on a minor issue, consider that you might just let it go.
Step 5. Learn how to end a conversation
By ending a chat in a friendly and positive way, you and your interlocutor will be happy to have met and will look forward to the next opportunity to talk. A great way to close is to pick up on a topic from the conversation that you agree with. You have many options available, the important thing is to be positive.
- Try saying something witty or profound that you had previously thought of but forgot.
- Ask your friend what plans he has for the rest of the day and say hello. For example, you might say, "Well, I have to get back to work soon. What are you going to do instead?"
- Use the irony. He jokes, saying you'd rather keep talking and hope you'll meet again. For example: "Hey, it was a real pleasure to talk to you and I would like to continue all day, but I have to escape."
- Use the friendly farewell moment as an opportunity to extend an open invitation to spend more time together, saying something like "When can we meet again?".
Method 3 of 3: Talk to Friends You Have Newly Know
Step 1. Plan your next meeting and keep your word
If you are interested in spending more time with someone, invite them to do so! It is generally quite evident if there is a mutual willingness to see each other again, but even if not, feel free to propose another meeting.
- One of the simplest and safest ways to invite a new friend to meet you again is to propose that they participate in a group activity the following week.
- If you already know that you will be attending an event on a specific day and that you can invite whoever you want, make your plans known and suggest to your interlocutor to accompany you.
Step 2. Prepare an interesting conversation topic
If you've recently met someone you get along with and have arranged to meet again, think of something to talk about. There are some reliable ways to find the best conversation topics. For instance:
- Think about topics relevant to your plans. For example, if you are going to the stadium together, read the latest news on the teams that face each other.
- Reflect on current events, locally and globally. Often, the various points of view that people have on the world offer interesting interpretations of what is happening on the planet.
- Think about topics relevant to the current season. If Carnival is coming up, ask your friend what her disguise will be or what her best costume was.
- Try an old classic: "What event are you most excited about?". Remember to delve into another question such as "What do you plan to do on that occasion?".
- Talk about people you both know, such as his family or a mutual friend.
Step 3. Appreciate the individuality of others
If you admire a person, your positive feelings probably arise for a reason, the same one that will lead you to appreciate their presence in your life. However, none will ever be exactly what you expected. That's also why it's so fun to meet new people.
- Accept that whoever you meet will affect your overall understanding of people. No individual is the same and the world is beautiful because it is varied!
- Avoid comparing new friends to those you've had in the past. Focus on the features that make them unique. Appreciate how their individuality helps you understand the world better.
Step 4. Recall previous conversations
Being able to remember the last topic you discussed with a person and resuming the dialogue right from that point is a very nice gesture, which allows you to continue developing your friendship.
- If you know you will be talking to a friend in the future, take note of the topics you have addressed. Get ready to treat them again.
- Find out about something he has told you about, such as a certain band, and consider whether you agree with the comments he made or if you have something to add. Make sure you delve into the topic by introducing it at your next meeting. This way, you will let him know that he really cares about you and that you can keep your word.
- Show him that you can't wait to see him again by recalling a positive moment from your previous conversation.
