Is there a friend or family member who suddenly acts as if "you don't know his true nature"? Have you been harassed or threatened by someone pretending to have another personality? You're not the only one. Fake people are found everywhere and are usually desperate for attention. Fortunately, with a few simple tricks you can get rid of the negative influence exerted by braggart, envious and self-righteous.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Overcoming False and Irritating Behaviors
Step 1. Avoid the hypocrite
Whenever you are dealing with a person who irritates or treats you badly, the best move is almost always the simplest: avoid those who exasperate you. Attend her as little as possible. The less you frequent it, the fewer opportunities it will have to make you nervous.
The most interesting side of this attitude is that it will turn into a subtle punishment for those who act hypocritically. If he continues to behave this way, he will not have the privilege of being in your company
Step 2. If you can't avoid her, interact with her as little as possible
It is not difficult to decide who to hang out with. However, in certain circumstances you can't help but relate to fake people (for example, in group events). In these cases, avoid being rude by completely ignoring them. On the contrary, try to behave politely without being overly likeable, so as to decrease the risk of having to strike up a conversation with them.
A good rule of thumb is to avoid talking to these kinds of people until they take the initiative or until you have a good reason to do so. Be nice, but keep your distance, a bit like talking to someone you don't know
Step 3. Don't be bothered by hypocrisy
It is very important to remain calm when in contact with fake people, especially if they are very irritating.
- It's almost always better to walk away from a bad situation than to lose your temper with someone who gets on your nerves because of their lack of sincerity. Don't hesitate to give yourself a few minutes to calm down if you're about to explode.
- However, if you disrespect yourself, don't react the same way and don't blame yourself. False people need to realize that there are limits to their behavior, so respond in kind by saying, "I don't accept that you talk to me like this."
Step 4. Don't stoop to his level
Don't be hypocritical if you are trying to combat certain people's untruths. Resist the temptation to "reciprocate with the same coin" by fueling small gossip or making incorrect considerations. Remember that if you act this way, others won't be able to tell the difference between your behavior and what you are opposing.
Part 2 of 2: Managing a False Friend
Step 1. Face the situation head on
One thing is a classmate or an acquaintance who has a superficial behavior, another is when a close friend begins to pretend. Since you cannot avoid or ignore him very easily, there is a risk that his behavior will negatively interfere with your life. If you suddenly notice a change in his behavior that he doesn't even look like himself, talk to him about it. However, be prepared for his objections. Nobody likes to be told they're wrong.
For example, if you notice that he is dating hateful and insignificant people to set himself up, don't hide your bewilderment. Be polite, but don't be afraid to tell him that you think his choice is disastrous
Step 2. Ask a few questions to understand what his hypocrisy depends on
If you understand "why" he acts this way, you will have less difficulty forgetting his misconduct. By asking him about his new attitude, you will be able to understand what is going on, but be careful not to disrespect him. Don't treat it badly if you can avoid it. For example, try asking him:
- "You know, I've noticed that lately you've been acting differently. What's going on?";
- "So you're dating other people, huh?";
- "Where do these news you talk about lately come from?".
Step 3. Consider addressing the problem directly if it is severe
In a sense, a friend's choices concern only him. However, if the desire to pretend to be a better fit leads him to do unwise things, as a friend, don't wait to intervene. You probably won't be able to stop him, but you can let him know he's hurting himself.
- If you get carried away into situations that endanger your health (such as drug use), consult a psychologist or your parents. They will definitely get angry, but that's the best solution.
- Only take this initiative if you are truly concerned about their safety. It is not your job to control his choices.
Step 4. Discuss the problem with your friends
Keep in mind that you don't have to fight falsehood alone. If you have noticed that a friend has changed their attitude, it is very likely that others have also noticed. When he's not around, discuss the situation together. They may have a different point of view or provide information that simplifies the interpretation of the whole affair. You can all decide together how to handle this person's new behavior.
Keep it from turning into a "state affair". Remember that your goal is to talk about the changes your friend has made in the way they do. This is no excuse to mock him or make recriminations
Step 5. Be willing to temporarily distance yourself
Ultimately, you can't force anyone to stop pretending. If you have trouble getting him to open his eyes, take a step back. Let the whole situation settle before resuming dating. Avoid going out alone with him and limit your interactions when you are in a party. By showing him that his fake ways keep you from relating to him, you could convince him to quit. If not, at least limit the occasions when it might bother you.
Advice
- It is not easy to lose a friend because of their falseness. However much you may suffer, don't let this problem ruin your life. If it exasperates you, find some time for yourself. Put your happiness first.
- Another solution is to treat fake people the same way they treat you. It's not guaranteed to work, but it can sometimes prove that their behavior hurts you.
