If humanity wants to progress, Gandhi's teachings are essential. He lived, thought, acted and was inspired by the vision of a humanity capable of evolving towards a world of peace and harmony. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Peace isn't all hippie stuff! Living in peace means living in harmony with yourself, others and all sentient beings around you. Living in peace is both an outward and inward process. Externally, living in peace is a way of life that allows us to respect and love each other at the expense of our cultural, religious and political differences. Internally, we all need to seek peace in our hearts and minds and to understand that it is fear that causes the impulse to violence. If we continue to ignore the anger we feel, the storm outside of us will never subside.
As you seek what for you is a peaceful existence and try to manifest the ideals of a peaceful life outward based on your beliefs and lifestyle, remember that there are some focuses that revolve around living in peace that cannot be underestimated, such as non-violence, tolerance, moderation in one's points of view and the celebration of the miracle of life. This article will give you some tips to help you discover your journey to live in peace, a journey and a way of life for which, ultimately, you are solely responsible.
Steps
Step 1. Seek unconditional love, don't control others
Stopping wanting to exert your power over others and the outcomes of your life is your first and biggest step to living peacefully. Trying to control people revolves around wanting to impose your will and reality on others without even trying to understand their point of view. In relationships, the manipulative approach will keep you in conflict with others. Replacing the desire to control with a broad approach based on love towards others, on the other hand, welcomes their shortcomings and differences, and this is the way to a peaceful life.
- Think of peace before power. Gandhi said that power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than that obtained through threats of punishment. If you have learned to "control" others through threatening behaviors, actions, and attitudes, these people in your power will respond out of coercion, not out of respect or affection for you. And this is not a peaceful way to live.
- Absorb the skills of negotiation, conflict resolution and assertive communication. These are important and constructive communication skills that help you avoid or effectively manage conflict with others. Not all conflicts can be avoided, and not all conflicts are bad, as long as you know how to handle them skillfully. If you feel you don't have enough skills for these forms of communication, read many books on ways to improve them. Clarity of the message is always vital to ensure peace, as conflict arises from misunderstandings.
- When communicating with others, try to avoid giving orders, moralizing, demanding, threatening, or over-teasing people with questions aimed at extracting too much information. Any of these forms of communication will raise conflict with those who feel you are trying to control them instead of talking to them as if you are on the same level.
- Begin to trust that the people around you would be able to live a good life if all things were the same for everyone. In this sense, even giving advice brings with it manipulative tendencies when you use suggestions for the purpose of interfering in other people's lives instead of simply offering your points of view without expecting others to act on what you have said. Swedish diplomat Dag Hammerskjold once said: "Without knowing the question, it was easy for him to answer." When we give advice to others, we sometimes make the mistake of assuming that we have a total understanding of the problems they are facing, when, to be sure, this is usually not the case, and we filter their difficulties through our experience. It is much better to respect the other person's intelligence and be there for them instead of trying to impose your experience as if it were the right answer for anyone. In this way, you will cultivate peace, not resentment, respect, not trivialization of his point of view, and trust in his intelligence, without insulting him.
Step 2. Moderate your beliefs
Thinking in absolute terms and taking your ideas for granted without even considering the opinions and perspectives of others is a sure way to live a life without peace. This kind of extremist thinking usually leads to reactive, reckless and overconfident behavior that lacks the benefit of reflection and deliberation. While this may be convenient because it allows you to act confident in your absolute certainties, it blocks other realities in the world and can easily lead you to conflict with people who disagree with your ideas. It is harder work to have an open mind and be ready to review your understandings, but it is more fulfilling because you will mature and live in great harmony with those around you.
- Moderate your absolute beliefs trying to always be ready to question and reflect. Accept that your beliefs, faith, passions and opinions lie among other beliefs, faiths, passions and opinions in the world. Follow an ethic of moderation that values human dignity and worth; follow the one absolute truth, which is to treat others as you would like them to treat you (The Golden Rule).
- Find a variety of things to do in your life if you feel that you are slipping into less moderate positions towards others. It is difficult to be a little moderate if you are busy with so many activities and you see different types of people, coming from different walks of life.
- Cultivate your sense of humor. Humor gives a disarming charm to the one who loves peace; some fanatics never joke because they are too busy taking themselves and their cause too seriously. Humor allows you to relax tension and unmask the repressive tendencies of extremist thinking.
Step 3. Be tolerant
Tolerance in everything you think and do will make a big difference in your life and in the lives of those around you. Tolerance towards others involves appreciating diversity, the plurality of modern society and being willing to live and let live. When we fail to tolerate the beliefs, ways of being and opinions of others, we end up entering the territory of discrimination, repression, dehumanization and, ultimately, violence. Practicing tolerance is the cornerstone of a life spent in peace.
- Instead of jumping to negative conclusions about other people, change your perspective and let it solidify what others have that is good. By changing your perspective on others, you can begin to change their perception of themselves. To give an example, instead of considering someone stupid or incompetent, start defining them as "intelligent", "effective" and "awake". This will nourish him and encourage him to live by cultivating the positive parts you see in him. Viewing others as interesting, special, and loving human beings under their swagger, anger, and torment can bring about a big change for the better.
- Read books and articles for more ideas on how to create greater tolerance in your life.
Step 4. Be peaceful
Gandhi said "There are many causes for which I am willing to die but no cause for which I am willing to kill." A peaceful person does not use violence against another person or an animal (sentient beings). As violent as the world is, make the choice not to let death and murder be part of your philosophy of life.
- Whenever a person tries to convince you of the validity of the violence, stick to what you believe and politely express your disagreement. Remember that some people will try to provoke you by insisting that you are weakening the image of people affected by conflict situations "for a good reason". You know this is not true and that it is a distorted view that accepts conflicts that kill people or leave them orphaned or homeless. Former United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, Mary Robinson, said, “My experience with the conflict is that those involved want even one day of peace. Wanting at least one day of an end to violence is indicative of the fact that the time has come to end the war”. It reinforces the reality of the facts: violence does not even want those who are involved in it and peace for the whole human race is a valid desire to be protected.
- Being peaceful means being able to act with compassion towards those who are violent. Even criminals deserve to know how compassion works, even though, when a society jails, tortures and allows violence in prisons and hearts, we who belong to it are equal to these criminals. Try to demonstrate (not just verbally) the principles of a just and loyal society and, from there, set a good example.
- Avoid violent movies, news about violence, and music marked with hateful or degrading lyrics.
- Surround yourself with images, music and peaceful people.
- Seriously consider converting to vegetarianism or veganism to feed yourself in the future. For many peace lovers, violence against animals does not lead to a peaceful life. Know how animals are treated in farms and pharmaceutical industries and how hunting takes place. Read as much as possible about vegetarian and vegan lifestyles in order to base your beliefs on full respect for other sentient beings. Peacefully align the understanding you gain from this research with your way of life.
Step 5. Think
Reflection is important: many hasty and unpleasant answers are given because time is not spent thinking about all issues and angles. Of course, some times quick action is essential to ensure safety, but these moments don't justify all the others, when, if you had reacted carefully and respectfully, the results would have been much better for everyone involved.
- If someone hurts you physically or emotionally, don't react with anger or violence. Stop and think. Resolve to respond peacefully.
- Ask other people to stop and think and tell them that anger and violence won't solve anything. Just say "Please don't do this." If they refuse to stop, get out of this situation.
- Stop. When you feel that you need to respond to something in a way that portrays your anger, frustration, or irritation, say to yourself "Stop." Get away from the situation that has led to confusion and an inability to reflect. By giving yourself the right space, you will have time to overcome the initial feelings of anger and replace them with thoughtful solutions, including non-response.
- Practice reflective listening. Spoken language is imprecise, and people under stress often say things that mask what they actually want to say. John Powell said “When you really listen, you go beyond words, you see through them, to find the person who is unfolding. Listening is a source to find the treasure of the true essence of the person, revealed verbally and non-verbally”. The importance of reflective listening to living a peaceful life requires you to stop analyzing people only from your perspective and start trying to dig into what your interlocutor is saying and really means. This can lead to an effective exchange instead of having a reaction triggered by what your listening has made you imagine and suppose.
Step 6. Seek forgiveness, not revenge
What is the law of an eye for an eye for? To have more blind people. It is useless and becomes a vicious circle, history has taught us better. No matter where we live, what religion we practice or what culture we cultivate, at the end of the fair, we are all human, with the same ambitions and aspirations to raise our family and live life to the full. Our cultural, religious and political differences should not be an excuse to invoke conflicts that can only cause sadness and destruction for our world. When you feel an obligation to hurt another person because of a perceived offense to your reputation or because you feel that their actions deserve an equally repugnant reaction, you perpetuate the anger, violence and pain. Replace all this with forgiveness to find the way to a peaceful life.
- Live in the present, not the past. Dwelling on what should have been and experiencing past suffering will keep the negative parts alive and leave a constant internal conflict burning. Forgiveness allows you to live in the present, to look to the future, and to gradually leave the past behind. Forgiveness is the ultimate victory because it allows you to enjoy life again by making peace with the past.
- Forgiveness relieves you and frees you from resentment. Forgiveness revolves around learning, learning to cope with negative feelings that arise as a result of an act that has made you angry or saddened. Learn to recognize these feelings instead of burying them. And, in forgiveness, build empathy with the other person, understanding what motivated them; you don't have to feel angry at what he did, just understand it.
- Understand that it is an insult to disguise your anger as a "defense of another person's honor." This makes the person you are seemingly defending, speaking and reacting for them less autonomous (which, in turn, causes them to be weak) and is a violent excuse to right a wrong. If another person's honor has been compromised, allow the alleged victim to say what he or she thinks (perhaps he or she doesn't assess the situation the same way you do) and seek resolution through forgiveness and greater understanding.
- While feeling that it is not possible to forgive, there is no excuse for violence. Rather, distance yourself and be better than this person.
Step 7. Find inner peace
Without inner peace, you will feel in a constant state of conflict. Trying to fill your life with material things or improve yourself through social climbing without even stopping to evaluate your inner worth will make you perpetually miserable. When you crave something and you don't have it, you create a conflict situation. It is easy to forget that you are grateful for what you have if you do nothing but struggle in order to ascend your possessions, your career, your home and your life. Similarly, owning too many things will create conflict and prevent the possibility of living in peace because you will always be available to the needs of what you have, from cleaning to maintenance, from insurance to security.
- Live in an essential way and make conscious decisions about what improves or makes your life more beautiful, discarding the superfluous.
- When you feel anger, find a quiet place to stop, take a deep breath, and relax. Turn off your TV, stereo, or computer. Contact nature if possible or take a good long walk. Put on some soft music or dim the lights. Once you are calm, get up and go on with your life.
- At least once a day, spend 10 minutes in a peaceful place, such as under the shade of a tree or in the park, anywhere you can just sit quietly without distractions.
- Living in peace is more meaningful than living in a situation of absence of violence. Try to cultivate peace in all areas of your life by reducing stress as much as possible. If possible, avoid high-voltage situations, such as traffic, large crowds, etc.
Step 8. Live with happiness
Choosing to appreciate the wonders of the globe is an antidote to violence. It is difficult to be motivated to opt again for violence against the things you see if you understand that they are beautiful, miraculous, surprising and full of joy; in fact, the major affliction caused by war stems from the annihilation of innocence, beauty and happiness. Joy brings peace to your existence because you are always prepared to see what good others and the world have, and to be grateful for the surprises in life.
- Don't self-sabotage your right to be happy. Feeling that you don't deserve happiness, worrying about how you are perceived by others when you are happy, and fearing the potential sadness that prevails when happiness ends represent negative thought patterns that can undermine the pursuit of happiness in your life.
- Do what you love. Life isn't just your job. While your profession must be capable of ensuring your survival, you must also enrich other aspects of your life. Thich Nhat Hanh has this advice for you: “Do not live with a calling that is harmful to humans and nature. Don't invest in companies that rob others of their chance to live. Select a vocation that will help you realize your ideal of compassion”. You decide how to apply the meaning of this thought and look for a job that allows you to live a peaceful and sustainable life.
Step 9. Be part of the change you want to see in the world
This sentence not only refers to Gandhi's words, it is a real exhortation. And there are numerous proactive methods that can help you be part of the peaceful change you hope to see around you, including:
- Change yourself. Violence begins with your acceptance of its possibility as a solution and its inevitability. Therefore, it is within you that you must stop the violence and become peaceful. By making sure not to hurt living beings and to live peacefully, first change yourself, and then change the world.
- Be part of the solution. Be a person who loves every human being for who they really are. Make people feel comfortable around you and allow everyone to be themselves when they are with you. You will make lots of friends and earn the respect of the ones you already have.
- Join and participate in Peace One Day. Make a commitment online and globally to celebrate the UN International Day of Peace, an annual celebration to encourage global truce and non-violence. Held annually on 21 September.
- Discuss with other people how they view peace. Share ideas on how to create a more peaceful world and ways to embrace differences without causing conflict. You may be interested in filming videos to post online or writing stories, poems or articles about the importance of peace to share with everyone.
- Make sacrifices to help others. The greatest noble cause is to show your desire to bring peace to the world by making sacrifices, not using those of those who oppose your views. Mahatma Gandhi sacrificed his lucrative law firm in Durban, South Africa, to lead a simple life and to share the pain of powerless and destitute people. He has won the hearts of millions of people without ruling anyone, only with the power of altruism. You too can bring peace to the world by demonstrating your willingness to sacrifice your selfish desires. Win the hearts of others by emphasizing that you are willing to serve for causes greater than yourself. At least, consider volunteering.
- Bring harmony to the world by promoting love and peace for everything and everyone. As intimidating as it sounds, reflect on how Gandhi, a frail and docile man of small stature, has managed to achieve results of incredible magnitude, all based on the firm belief of practicing peace through non-violence. Your individual input matters.
Step 10. Expand your understanding of peace
You are free to choose your own path. Everything you have read in this article is a series of pure tips. It should not be followed as if it were a dogma, it is not meant to impose itself on you and it is not necessarily for you. Ultimately, living in peace will depend on your conscience, your daily actions based on your struggles and understandings, gathered from all corners of the world, from the people you have met and known and from your awareness as well as your knowledge. Proceed with peace.
Keep learning. This article has touched the surface of a very profound, ongoing and personal need in the world. Learn as much as possible about peace, especially by reading the texts of activists and practitioners, from which you can learn a lot. Share what you have learned with others and spread peaceful knowledge wherever you go in your life
Advice
- Always seeking confirmation of your worth in others is not the right way to live; it is, in fact, a way to conform to their desires and live a constantly unresolved life. Instead, accept yourself for who you are and live life fully, loving yourself and others.
- Accept that some people won't smooth the way for you because they can't even make their life easier. They must be looked upon with compassion, not feared or hated, but, nevertheless, you must not dance to their music or hang out with them. Be polite, firm and kind to these types of people.
- If they ask you to do a dissection in class, or you are a teacher and your pupils have to do it, look for alternatives to this harmful practice. There are many available.
Warnings
- Peace at any cost will lead you to slavery or elimination at the hands of your enemy. There are people who follow an extremely aggressive ideology based on militant or totalitarian systems. It is possible to coexist peacefully with these people, but not without fixed vigilance.
- Be well informed about the nutritional values of foods if you decide to follow a vegetarian or vegan diet; this type of diet requires a certain strategy to integrate all the necessary nutrients from plant sources.
