Almost everyone happens to be engulfed in worries. However, if these become nagging, they can prevent us from living peacefully, impairing sleep and distracting us from the most beautiful things that happen in life. They can even hinder the management of the problems they depend on; even worse, some research shows that when we are obsessed with worries, we risk running into health problems. Moreover, this attitude can become a difficult habit to break up. The good news is that we have the ability to use some methods to stop this distressing thought pattern and live a happier life.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Changing Your Behaviors
Step 1. Postpone your concerns
If they are interfering in your daily life and you can't keep them at bay, try dealing with them later. Don't put them aside completely, but decide to only deal with them at certain times of the day.
- For example, every night after dinner you could spend half an hour on what makes you feel bad. If it comes to your mind at another time of the day, acknowledge it by saying, "I'll think about it later."
- This technique allows you to leave your worries on hold for a while so you can get through the day.
Step 2. Take note of your concerns
A study conducted at the University of Chicago shows that it is possible to get rid of the most distressing thoughts by putting them on paper. So, if you write down everything that worries you, the problem will seem more manageable.
This strategy is most effective if you choose to postpone your worries. In fact, by listing them, you will feel able to keep them on the sidelines until you decide to reconsider. When that time comes, you just need to read the list again
Step 3. Talk about your concerns
Discussing concerns can also be helpful. This way, you have a chance to put the situation in perspective and get to the root of the problem.
However, be careful because if you talk too much about it, you risk putting a strain on your friendships. If this is the case, consider consulting with a psychologist or other mental health professional
Step 4. Spend less time on your computer
According to recent studies, people who rely on computers and other devices to weave social interactions suffer most from anxiety. So, to ease the disquiet, try to reduce the time you spend in front of the screen.
- In particular, the use of social networks can generate conflicts and confrontations between ourselves and others, prevent us from being relaxed and, consequently, favor our concerns.
- By turning off your devices several times a day, you will be able to better manage your relationship with technology.
Step 5. Keep your hands busy
By using your hands for some activity, such as knitting or sliding an object as if "saying the rosary," you may reduce stress and worries. Recent studies conducted by the Medical Research Council (England) show that keeping your hands busy during a distressing situation can reduce the anxiety that will develop later.
Research has not revealed any impact on concerns surrounding past events. However, if you are in delicate circumstances, do repetitive movements with your hands to limit the agitation that may arise later
Step 6. Play a lot of sports
Exercise is not only good for the body, it is also an effective way to lessen the anxiety associated with worries. Practiced regularly, it can be more effective than prescribed medications for relieving anxiety.
Animal research indicates that physical activity increases the production of serotonin, a chemical secreted by the brain that relieves anxiety and gives a general feeling of happiness
Step 7. Breathe deeply
Taking slow, deep breaths will stimulate the vagus nerve, which in turn will help reduce stress and restlessness.
To combat distress, some people recommend breathing in the "4-7-8" pattern. Then, push all the air out through your mouth, then inhale through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Finally, exhale through your mouth, counting to 8
Step 8. Try to meditate
According to some medical research, meditation acts on the brain allowing it to calm the restlessness. If you are constantly worried, consider learning to meditate.
Meditation promotes the activity of the ventrocentral prefrontal cortex, which is the area of the brain that manages apprehension. Also, it makes you focus on the present; if practiced well, it should keep you from thinking about future problems, at least while you are meditating
Step 9. Try aromatherapy
Recent medical studies claim that the scent of certain essential oils is able to relieve stress and worries. In this field, the effectiveness of the grapefruit fragrance has been demonstrated above all.
Essential oils and other aromatherapy items can be found in many stores that sell diet and natural products. You can also just try the grapefruit scent
Part 2 of 2: Changing the way you think
Step 1. Acknowledge your concerns and move on
Sometimes, when you try to stifle your worries, you just make it worse. So, avoid ignoring them. When they cross your mind, accept them, but try to move on.
- It's hard to ignore something that you try hard not to think about.
- In order not to get pestered by what worries you, try writing it down or set a period of time to devote to the most insistent thoughts.
Step 2. List your concerns so you can address them
When they attack you, an excellent way to deal with them is to write them in a list. For each of them try to clarify the following points:
-
Is this a problem I can solve on my own?
If what you are worried about is a problem that you have a way to solve, the best solution is to solve it. Once you have planned the solution, your worries will gradually disappear.
-
Am I worried that something might happen?
If you are restless about something that is likely to happen, you may be right to worry. On the other hand, if you don't realize that nothing is going to happen, this awareness can help you debunk your worries.
-
Am I worrying about something very serious?
Think about what you fear might happen. If it were to occur, what would be its severity? Most of the things that worry us are actually not that terrible: if you realize that it will not be a catastrophe, you can safely get rid of everything that is troubling you. It is even more valuable if there is no chance that the scenario you have imagined will occur!
- In the meantime, try to reason. Ask yourself what evidence you can rely on to substantiate your concerns. Think about how you would talk to a friend who has the same fears as you. Try to imagine the most likely outcome, rather than the worst case scenario.
Step 3. Make your worries boring
If there is a concern that is particularly troubling you, try to make it boring so your mind will pay less attention to it. You can do this by repeating it in your head for several minutes.
For example, if you are afraid of a car accident, repeat the following words in your mind: "I could be in a car accident, I could be in a car accident." In a short time it will likely increase anxiety, but after a while the words will lose their power and become boring. You have a good chance of stopping thinking about this danger frequently
Step 4. Accept uncertainties and imperfections
Accepting that life is unpredictable and imperfect represents a major shift in thinking. This is the key to stopping worrying all the time. Therefore, begin this writing exercise by answering the following questions:
- Is it possible to be sure of what might happen?
- To what extent do you consider it important to have certainties?
- Are you inclined to imagine negative scenarios just because you are insecure? Do you think this attitude is reasonable?
- Can you live with the thought that something bad could happen, even if such a scenario is unlikely?
- When you are worried, try to remember how you answered these questions.
Step 5. Think about social conditioning
Emotions can be contagious. If you spend a lot of time with people who are aggressive or who make you anxious, you should reconsider the time you spend with them.
- Stop and think about the people you spend your time with and how they affect you. You could also write a journal of what's troubling you, so you can keep track of the most stressful moments. If you find that you are restless around a certain person, you may decide to spend less time with them or not to discuss certain topics with them.
- By changing the circle of acquaintances, you have the opportunity to change your way of thinking.
Step 6. Enjoy the present
Most worries arise from fear of the future, rather than from the surrounding environment. By focusing on your surroundings and the moment you are living, you can silence your worries.
Some people recommend "stop, watch and listen". By taking this approach when you are worried, you can stop and take note of what is troubling you. Take a deep breath, then observe your surroundings. Focus five minutes on the details. At the same time, speak calmly and reassure yourself that everything is fine
Advice
- Eat chocolate! It's certainly not a good idea to gorge yourself on junk or sugar-rich food. However, recent research has shown that by regularly consuming a small amount of dark chocolate, it is possible to reduce stress and restlessness. 25g dark chocolate, taken daily for two weeks, relieves tension and brings health benefits.
- Unrest often gets the better of us when circumstances put us to the test or uncomfortable. Sometimes, it is a good idea to expose yourself to situations that fuel our worries, as they can help us understand to what extent we are able to cope with difficulties, allowing us to relieve anxiety.
