Do you want an ice-cream? Do you want permission to go to the Justin Bieber concert? Do you want money to travel abroad? Do you want consent to marry someone? Getting your parents to do whatever they want can seem like a daunting task, at any age. Regardless of whether you need their approval or help to buy something, you need to properly formulate your requests, approach the issue with the right strategies, and make your speech compelling. If you prepare well in advance, the chance of convincing them will be considerably higher.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Working Out Your Reasoning
Step 1. Determine what you want and why
Some parents are quite patient, others not at all. When you want something, you need to know exactly what it is. If you flounder, they may get nervous, and as a result, your chances of getting what you want may decrease.
Be prepared to motivate your point of view. Do you want to borrow the car on the weekend? Why do you need it? Why should they consider your needs? Think about these questions before arguing with them, because they will surely ask you
Step 2. Provide evidence
If by informing yourself you can effectively demonstrate your reasons, do not hesitate. Ask other people for advice. Search the Internet for accurate information to support your point of view. For example, if you want an iPhone, iPad, or other Mac product, you could put forward the right reasons for such a purchase. Is it faster than any other device? Does it have special features that will help you at school, at work, or in other areas of life?
Step 3. Adapt to the listener
If your parents value one thing more than another, be sure to consider their preferences in advance. If they've been pestering you for weeks that you need to get good grades in school and want a new laptop, point out that with the help of a laptop you will be able to improve your academic performance. If they expect a more rewarding and satisfying job from you, point out to what extent a new PC will help you find a better job in the future.
Remember that your parents not only want to see you happy, but they also want to see that your life choices are based on the values they passed on to you. So, find a middle ground between your desires and their ideals
Step 4. Study the arguments against you
You will probably think that no one with any brains disagrees with your point of view, but there are always other arguments to consider. By knowing your interlocutors (i.e. your parents), you will be able to imagine their concerns. Think about how you can handle their objections. You may want to gradually take apart the defenses they're clinging to.
One way to debunk your parents' objections is to find a compromise. If you want a new car, ask if they'll lend you the money. If they pay a certain amount, pay them back. If they are willing to buy you the car, offer to pay for the insurance and gasoline costs
Step 5. Take advantage of their weaknesses
It sounds strange, but everyone has their weakness in the face of certain reactions. Some parents allow themselves to be influenced by the emotions of their children and, when the latter ask for something in tears, they do not hesitate to put themselves in their shoes and immediately capitulate to see them happy. Others want to feel like heroes and give up if they feel like they are saving their children in some way. Still others pay more attention to their interests and, consequently, a negotiation is necessary to get something.
Part 2 of 3: Addressing the Topic
Step 1. Kindly state your request
Don't make claims. Some topics are delicate. If you ask for something that involves a certain sacrifice for your parents, don't deal with it negatively.]
For example, if you want to borrow a car on the weekend, try saying, "I know you need a car this weekend, but I'd like to join my friends at the mall." By expressing yourself in this way, you set the speech by recognizing their needs to get to frame your request in relation to their needs. Make sure you use respectful and appropriate language and try to be polite
Step 2. Don't be flattering
Make some appreciation of their physical appearance and their gestures. Try to understand what they are proud of so that you can leverage the right keys. Then kindly submit your request. However, don't seem like an opportunist. Don't just run to your mom and tell her, "I like your hair today. Can I get a new video game?" That way, your compliments will be insincere when, in fact, they should set the stage. So, wait at least a couple of minutes before asking for something.
Step 3. Find the right time
Timing is an essential element in getting your parents to do what you want. They too are human beings. Each person decides based on his emotions. It is not possible to do without it. Wait until they're in a good mood.
- Don't make your request as soon as they get back from work. When they cross the threshold of the house, they would rather be bathed in the warmth of the family, not have any other hassle.
- Avoid exposing your requests even when they are intent on something. Surely you have seen commercials in which children harass their parents while they are on the phone, struggling with their bills or watching their favorite TV shows. You don't want to harass them under these circumstances. Remember it. Wait for the ideal time to ask for something.
Part 3 of 3: Raising Your Arguments
Step 1. Clearly state your goal
Explain fully what you hope to achieve and why you hope to achieve it. Depending on the topic, you can ask them to listen to everything you have to say before they respond. If they accept, then you can present your goal, present your arguments, anticipate their objections or doubts, and finally conclude your speech.
Hopefully, they'll listen to you until you're done. If not, you may want to turn your reasoning into a conversation. Make your request, listen to their comments and respond. Don't lose your cool. Don't assume an air of superiority and don't scream
Step 2. Be willing to negotiate
Don't just accept what they say, but find a compromise. Since you are asking for a favor, it would be best if you offered something in return. Your parents want to see you happy, but consider that they have other concerns as well.
The most effective strategy for negotiating with parents is to offer help around the house. If you want to borrow a car on the weekend, make a point of doing housework or running errands. Make your request more valuable so that it is not only aimed at getting something that makes you happy. If they feel like they are contributing to your happiness and getting something else out of it, they will be more likely to meet you
Step 3. Invite them to reflect
"Don't answer yet", "Think about it without haste. Answer me when you want". Nobody likes to have their backs to the wall, especially in case of important requests or problems, otherwise the instinctive reaction will be a rejection. To avoid this risk, give your parents ample time to decide and consult with each other. By doing so, you will also show that you are mature and sensible.
This tactic only works if requests don't need an immediate response. If you need a car on the weekend, don't delay their response as you won't have time to find other means of transportation. On the contrary, if you want to adopt a four-legged friend, it is a suitable strategy. Since having a pet in the house involves a certain amount of effort, it is best not to rush your parents
Step 4. Understand their reasoning
If you want to argue or convince them of something, you have to debunk their arguments. So even if they oppose it, it doesn't mean that they will always say "no". Ask for explanations. Hopefully, they will not only play the parental authority card by reiterating: "Why I decided so", but they will clarify their point of view. In this case, try to understand what drives their reasoning. Then, state your objections or considerations in order to dismantle theirs and support your speech.
For example, if they don't want to get a puppy because they don't think you are responsible enough, find a way to prove otherwise. Begin to behave more sensibly and, when they notice it, bring up your request again: "You saw that I am responsible. Now that you recognize him, can we get a dog?". Remember that one of the best strategies for contradicting parents is to do the right thing
Step 5. Reassess the situation
There are other ways to convince your parents. Find a time to reflect and consider alternative strategies. You could throw in the towel. If all goes according to plan, you will be able to convince them, but if you are not able, the desire to achieve something may subside. You will probably think that it is no longer worthwhile to pull water at your mill and persuade them. In some cases, they may not change their mind once they have spoken. Therefore, you should consider other avenues to get what you want.
