Sooner or later in life, most, if not all, people experience an unpleasant feeling of loneliness. Unfortunately, feeling lonely can become a chronic condition, which can turn into depression if not treated effectively. For these reasons, it is important to find a healthy way to cope with loneliness in order to reduce the chances of developing a long-term illness. There are several strategies to avoid getting depressed by loneliness, such as learning new techniques, strengthening your relationships, and exploring your feelings deeply.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Overcoming the Feeling of Loneliness
Step 1. Change the way you think about loneliness
Your thoughts can change your emotions (loneliness, depression) and your behaviors (the way you react to situations). If you think being alone is a bad thing, bad feelings will most likely result. Conversely, by accepting the fact that you are alone, you will have a better chance of being able to react and remove the feeling of loneliness.
- Use positive self-talk. Try telling yourself that being alone can be a good thing, for example by repeating the following sentence: "Being alone is a good thing, I enjoy my company." Having an optimistic attitude can help you become more tolerant of loneliness.
- When you find yourself having negative thoughts about being alone, such as "I hate loneliness, it's terrible, I feel so lonely!", Try to formulate alternative thoughts that are more useful and realistic. For example, you might think or say to yourself, "I can cope with loneliness; I feel lonely, but I know I will be able to overcome these negative emotions. Being alone is not that bad and can have many positive effects."
Step 2. Regulate thoughts related to your social interactions
Studies have shown that how you view your relationships with others alters the degree and perception of loneliness. Fear of rejection can cause you to avoid social activities, which can make you feel even more alone.
- If you think you are worth less than other people, social interactions may scare you. Remind yourself that despite having different characteristics, we are all the same. You are a deserving and valuable person just like anyone else.
- When interacting with others, expect positive results rather than assuming that something unpleasant might happen. Think about how many ways the situation could turn out to be favorable; for example, that person might show you that they value your company, things won't always go as badly as you fear.
Step 3. Enjoy the company of animals
The creatures of the animal world are those that come closest to human beings; it is no coincidence that some therapeutic treatments involve the presence of dogs and horses or activities to be carried out in nature. Researchers believe that being in contact with the natural world or with animals can induce a sense of peace and tranquility, driving away loneliness.
- Bring a dog, cat, or other pet (fish, hamster, or other) home. Remember that having a pet takes a lot of effort, so don't give in to the temptation of having many. Also, before choosing your new companion, make sure you are prepared to care for them - different animals require different care (keeping a dog is not like keeping a goldfish!). If you've never had a pet before, start with something small and undemanding.
- If you can't have a pet, go to a pet store to spend some time with them. You can also go to the zoo or offer to take care of a friend's on the weekends.
Step 4. Read
When you are alone, reading can give you the feeling that you have social connections to help you fight loneliness. You can connect with the author or with the characters of the book; Furthermore, getting carried away by reading in distant places will help you temporarily distract yourself from the feeling of loneliness. Read as much as you can because, in addition to giving you a pleasant feeling of calm, books help keep your mind awake and active.
- You can get involved in the plot of a compelling novel.
- Choose the genre you like best, for example adventure, fantasy or science fiction.
- If you want, you can also read a magazine.
- There are many ebooks available on the web.
Part 2 of 3: Developing Social Relations
Step 1. Create healthy social relationships
People who can rely on fulfilling friendships and relationships are less likely to suffer from depression, approach life with a more positive attitude, and are better at handling negative situations and emotions. Having the support of a group of people can help you relieve the stress associated with feeling lonely.
- Psychotherapy and family therapy can help you develop strong and healthy social relationships.
- Engage in social activities that can help you make new friends.
- Avoid cynical or negative people who could bring your morale down.
- Ask others for help when you feel the need.
Step 2. Be realistic when socializing with people
When you feel lonely, the worry of being rejected can become a real fear. Don't expect to make a new friend in no time or have a brilliant conversation every time you talk to someone. Focus solely on the pleasure of connecting with others.
- Social networks allow you to connect with people without having to worry too much about being rejected. Try leaving a comment on someone's post or sending a short private message.
- When socializing with someone, whether they are an acquaintance or a stranger, try to strike up a short conversation. You can start with a completely simple and friendly question: "How is your day going?". Asking someone how things are going today may not seem like an effective way to start an intense dialogue, but it's a great way to connect with anyone you meet. If the answer leads to an articulate conversation, fine; but if not, you will still have shared a few moments with another person.
Step 3. Be open to new acquaintances
You can join a dating site, join a group or an association, volunteer or take lessons in a subject of your choice, the important thing is to put yourself in a position to meet new people with whom you have interests in common.
- If you meet a person you would like to know better, ask for their contact on social networks (for example Facebook, Instagram or Twitter).
- Remember that not all new encounters will quickly lead to deep friendships, this is normal. For now, focus on how you feel the moment you connect with others.
Step 4. Feel proud of your progress
Going out and socializing might make you feel uncomfortable. Whenever you come into contact with someone, whether it's a brief conversation with a stranger or being able to invite a colleague for coffee, feel proud of yourself for making it.
- Developing positive feelings about your social goals helps you find the motivation to make new progress in the future.
- As you manage to satisfy your need for social relationships, the feeling of loneliness will disappear.
Part 3 of 3: Avoid Depressing Yourself Due to Loneliness
Step 1. Engage in positive activities
Doing something productive is an effective way to control emotions and reduce the risk of depression. Research has shown that when we focus on something positive, we can distract ourselves from stressful thoughts. Conversely, when we focus on negative things, our suffering increases.
- Take a walk in a park or in a relaxing place.
- Watch a funny movie. As is well known, laughing is the best medicine. Several studies confirm that laughter contributes to making us happier and healthier.
- Being able to rely on the support of others is essential to prevent depression. Try to spend some time with other people to avoid getting depressed. Even if you can't meet someone in person, you can call a friend, colleague, or family member.
Step 2. Use your awareness
If you have suffered from depression in the past due to loneliness, going into a state of awareness can help you reduce the risk of getting sick again. Some studies have also explicitly shown that being more aware can help those who feel lonely get better. Being aware means placing your full attention on what you are doing and feeling right now. We often get distracted from the present due to thoughts about the past (regrets) or the future (fears about what might happen). Try to be constantly aware, especially when you start feeling lonely or depressed.
- Walking can help you enter a state of awareness. Simply go out for a walk with the goal of focusing solely on the moment. Pay attention to every sound you hear, every thing you see and every smell and sensation you perceive. Is the air hot or cold? Is there wind or does it all seem motionless? Are there any birds in the sky? Is the sun shining or are there clouds?
- Among the various very useful techniques are that of guided visualization and mindful meditation. Close your eyes, then imagine that you are in a quiet and safe place. This could be a beach, your bedroom, or the lawn surrounding your favorite tree in the park. Imagine being in that place, experience peace and any other positive sensation that comes with it: pay attention to what you perceive through touch (like the sand under your feet), smell (salty air), sight (notice every aspect of your surroundings), taste (if you're eating or drinking something), and hearing (the sound of crashing waves). When you think you have spent enough time in your place of peace and you start to feel relaxed, you can reopen your eyes.
- You can easily increase your awareness by practicing at home. All you have to do is focus all your attention on what you are doing at the moment. For example, if you are washing dishes, focus solely on that experience. Notice the sensations you feel through your hands, the temperature of the water and notice what you see. Often, when we engage in such a routine and boring activity, our mind tends to wander elsewhere. Observe all the thoughts that form in your head, then let them drift away without judging them. Accept your thoughts, but immediately return to focus on what you are doing.
- Search the web for other techniques that can help you practice mindfulness. The wikiHow site itself offers a wealth of information on the subject.
Step 3. Take care of your well-being
Depression is a serious health risk because it can negatively interfere with almost any medical condition. As an aggravating circumstance, illnesses are one of the possible causes of depression. The overall health of your body is therefore positively linked to your mental well-being. If you want to avoid getting depressed by loneliness, you need to do your best every day to keep your body healthy.
- Eating healthier to better nourish the body can help you prevent and treat mental disorders. The body needs the right nutrients to function optimally. Avoid junk food and focus on a diet of proteins, complex carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables.
- Get the right amount of rest. You should sleep at least 8 hours a night. Maintain a regular sleep routine by going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
- Exercise regularly. Aerobic exercise has been associated with the ability to relieve depression. Walk, run, hike or any other activity that allows you to move.
- If you have any medical condition (especially depression), go to your doctor regularly for a check-up.
Step 4. Consider seeking a cure
If you are certain that you are already doing everything you can to not feel alone, but loneliness is becoming a problem or turning into depression, it may be wise to seek help from an expert. Psychologists and therapists can help you develop a clinical plan, based on the latest research findings, to treat depression or loneliness. Some studies have shown that certain therapies, such as cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy or interpersonal psychotherapy, are able to reduce and prevent a relapse into depression.
- Check with your doctor about the costs of psychotherapy and try to find the cheapest option available.
- If you have medical insurance, contact them to find out what therapies (psychotherapy, psychiatric treatments, etc.) and medications (antidepressants, anxiolytics, etc.) are covered by the policy.
- A psychiatrist may prescribe medications if they think they might help you get better. Ask your doctor or therapist for advice.
