How to Flirt (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

The main principle of flirting is to get to know people you might be interested in dating. The idea of getting back in the game can seem very stressful, but don't be afraid of it: it is normal to be nervous with someone we "really" like and there is still a way to look confident and carry out a "successful flirt".. Here are some ideas for flirting with someone, whether it's with messages or in person.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Flirting in person

Step 1. Make eye contact

Making eye contact is the best, and also the easiest, thing you can do when you start flirting. You can look deeply into the other person's eyes by inserting a few pauses to prevent the contact from becoming too intense. Consider doing the following:

• Get caught watching. Don't stare, but just glance at the person you're interested in. Keep doing this until you get caught. Hold your gaze for a few seconds, smile, and then look away.
• Look into his eyes when he speaks, especially at the most relevant moments in the conversation (for example, while giving a compliment).
• He winks. It's not a very original thing, but it works when used in moderation. Do this when you are looking at someone from a distance, or when you are talking to a group of people and tell something that is particularly meaningful to those you care about.
• Girls can try looking at a guy by lowering their gaze and lifting him up with a flick of the eyelash.

Step 2. Smile

You will likely smile automatically when talking to someone you like, but you can use your dazzling smile in your favor before the conversation even begins. You can also smile at the person when you pass them in a hall or walk across the room. It doesn't have to be an ear-to-ear smile, but it shouldn't be too banal either. It will have to be subtle and intriguing. Try these variations:

• He hints at a smile. If you look at someone without talking to them yet, try gradually spreading the smile into your face instead of an instant 32-tooth smile. Slow, languid smiles are generally considered sexy.
• Smile during eye contact. If you're suddenly looking into someone's eyes, add a smile to it to create a more engaging atmosphere. (If the smile is genuine, the other person will not even notice your mouth - they will pucker your eyes, a phenomenon known as Duchenne Smile).
• Try to smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. Make your whole face shine when you smile.

Step 3. Start talking

Introduce yourself, or keep yourself "mysterious" (optional). If you still don't know the person you're flirting with, an introduction (or even miss) can be an important thing to make the flirting context even more interesting. A simple "Hello!" followed by an introduction or a simple question will be more effective and less forced.

• If the person you're interested in doesn't know your name and you are naturally sociable, try introducing yourself at some point. It can simply be a "Hi, my name is [name]. And you are…?". Make sure you know the name of your interlocutor. To help you remember this, try repeating it as soon as you are told ("Viviana, I love that name!").
• If, on the other hand, you want to make it something of a challenge, try to keep your identity mysterious for a while. If the other person wants to know your name, they will ask you sooner or later.

Step 4. Start the conversation

Whether you already know the person or not, a conversation is the best way to give flirting a boost. Here are some guidelines:

• Talk to someone you don't know yet. Perhaps the best way to start a chat is to start with an observation that ends with a question: "Nice day, isn't it?" or "This place is really busy huh?". What you say is not really important - you are simply inviting the person to talk to you.
• Find things in common with someone you know. If you've met the other person before, strike up a conversation based on shared experiences or interests. For example, you might talk about a class you're taking, or the train you're both traveling on to work. Again, the topic isn't really important - what matters is the invitation to interact with you.
• Evaluate the answer. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation. If she doesn't respond to you, or seems worried or disinterested, she probably isn't interested in flirting with you.

Step 5. Keep it light

Don't get personal while having conversation. Talk about your surroundings, something you saw on TV, etc. Keep personal information (religion, money, relationships, education, etc.) out of the chat, unless the other person likes to discuss deeper topics without getting overwhelmed. Generally, it's best to avoid discussing things that are personally relevant to both you and the other person (such as your or their religion) and rather talk about topics that both of you don't have a strong personal opinion about.

• It's easier to flirt if you're talking about light, fun things, like your pets, a reality show, or your favorite sport. You need to relax and avoid too busy conversation for a while.
• Try to have a playful attitude. It means that you don't have to take yourself too seriously, nor do you have to put yourself under pressure during the course of the conversation.

Step 6. Use body language to communicate your intentions

Non-verbal cues can say a lot more about your feelings than the words that come out of your mouth, so make sure you're communicating the right messages. Try doing the following:

• Keep your personal space "open". Don't cross your arms or legs, as this generally means you prefer to isolate yourself from the other person.
• Turn your body towards the other person. Stand, or sit, facing the person you are flirting with. Direct your torso towards her, or point your feet in that direction.
• Break the "barrier of touching". Randomly initiate physical contact by touching her on the forearm while you speak, or "accidentally" brush her by getting too close.
• Play with your hair (for girls). Playing with your hair is usually a sign of nervousness, which is a good thing if you like the other person - you almost "want" them to notice your nervousness, as it is a clear message that you care. To intentionally communicate this, slowly twist a lock of hair between your fingers as you speak.

Step 7. The first few times you touch the other person, be careful not to "trap" them

Depending on the area, the contact should be long enough to make it clear that it is not really "accidental", but nothing more. Avoid grabbing her hand or arm and instead try a gesture like sweeping an imaginary grain of poor from her arm or accidentally brushing her feet or knees without backing away.

All these touches can be rejected without humiliation or offense, so if the person was not ready to receive them, you would not force them to point it out to you and it would still not mean that they completely reject you

Step 8. Give compliments early in the conversation

It may sound risky, but letting the other person know that you would be interested in something beyond friendship before a friendship can begin is the easiest way to avoid being trapped in the "friend zone". Take heart and don't miss the chance - you never know when it will happen again. Here are some techniques you might try:

• Maintain eye contact while giving a compliment. Looking elsewhere might make it look fake.
• Lower the pitch and volume of your voice slightly. Complimenting with a lower register than your normal voice makes it more intimate and sexy. Also, it may cause the other person to come closer to hear you.
• Use a possible flame of the person you like to your advantage. If you know that this person is already dating (or interested in) someone else, you could use it in your favor in a compliment.
• Try adding a compliment to the conversation. For example, if the girl you like is talking about her bad day, you might say something like, "I can't stand seeing a beautiful person like you feeling so sad. What can I do to cheer you up?"

• Pay attention to the compliments on aesthetics. A girl might like it if you notice her eyes, but she might be annoyed if you overbalance yourself too prematurely about how sexy you find her. Play it safe and focus on these parts of the body:

  • Eyes.
  • Smile.
  • Lip.
  • Hair.
  • Hands.

  

  Step 9. Keep your interactions short and enjoyable

  Remember that the key to creating the "request" is to keep the availability of the "goods" low, so try to limit your interactions with the object of your courtship. Don't talk to us every day. Make it a special occasion and save it for a few times a week.

  • Make sure conversations don't last longer than 5-10 minutes. The longer they stretch, the more likely you are to run into awkward silences.
  • Get the other person to come to you. Once you've managed to initiate the interaction and sparked interest, back off a bit and see if she's looking for you. This can be a good way to weigh his interest, and at the same time increase the "tension".

  

  Step 10. Try to get an appointment

  If your flirtation has been successful and you want to get to know the other person better, it's time to see if it can turn into a date. Here are a number of approaches:

  • Ask if the other person has plans for the days ahead. For example, you might say, "So, what are you doing on Saturday night?" Make it an open question, rather than one that requires yes or no for an answer; this way you will be able to get more information.
  • Suggest a specific event and ask her if she wants to go with you. This is the best approach if you are looking to arrange a group date. You could say something like "So me and some friends are going to the movies on Friday and I'd love it if you came with us."
  • Be direct. If you are feeling particularly confident, go straight to the core with no excuses. For example, you might say, "I'd really like to take you out to dinner. When are you free?"

  Part 2 of 2: Flirting via SMS or Chat

  

  Step 1. Keep it casual

  Don't get nervous by forgetting the basics of conversation. Instead, try to stay calm, trying to start with a simple chat. If you've never chatted with someone before, you can find an excuse: ask them for their homework or discuss your favorite sports, always avoiding frightening them. Here are some possible approaches:

  • "Hi how are you?"
  • "Have you seen / heard [Add an event you both know about]"
  • "How's your week going?"

  

  Step 2. Don't talk too much about yourself

  Here's a fundamental principle behind any conversation that you should keep in mind: Many people feel comfortable talking about themselves because it's a subject they know well. Instead of taking the easy way out by endlessly arguing about you, instead encourage the other person to open up. In any case, you can, indeed should, occasionally throw in some personal facts, so that the other person is somehow "helped" to ask a few questions about you. The key is to let them care about you and your person.

  • This strategy actually serves two things: not only does it keep the conversation going, but it also allows you to find out more about the person you like.

  • You don't need to already have some information about the other person to follow this step. If you don't know her very well yet, you can ask her:

    • "Has it been a good day?"
    • "So what do you do in your free time?"
  • If you know her a little, focus the conversation on a hobby or interest you already know about. For example, if the other person was interested in basketball or reading, you might ask, "Did you see the game last night?" or "Have you read any good books lately?". This could be a great approach.

  

  Step 3. Know when to insist on more information

  You can keep the conversation alive and interesting without necessarily going overly personal. For example, asking your interlocutor what he likes about running outdoors might be a great idea; it may be too early to ask him about his family or friendships. Here are some ways to ask questions while flirting:

  • "So are you going to spend all night online or do you have more exciting plans for tonight?"
  • "Will you play tonight?"
  • "I noticed that cute kitten in your profile picture. Is it that you spend most of your time with him?"

  

  Step 4. Give compliments early in the conversation

  Don't be a coward by skipping this step; it might seem difficult, but it is essential. A compliment communicates to the other person that you are potentially interested in dating them, moving away from the dreaded "friend zone", in the sense that you do not introduce yourself as a mere friend. By not paying a compliment to the person you like - and thus simply keeping the conversation on a friendly tone - you could jeopardize the outcome of the approach and next time it may already be too late to "fix it." Here are some basic compliments you could use:

  • If you are still not very comfortable with the person in question, but are working on it, pay a compliment in this direction. Try saying something like "It's so natural to talk to you" or "I never thought I would ever meet someone as interesting as you."
  • Try adding a compliment to the conversation. For example, if the girl you like is talking about the terrible day just passed, you might say something like, "I can't bear to see someone as beautiful as you feel so sad. What can I do to cheer you up?"

  

  Step 5. Dare

  If none of the suggestions we've seen so far inspire you particularly, risk it all and hazard a cheeky compliment. Try these solutions, using the adjective you think best suited to describe the person concerned or replacing it with others:

  • "I hope you know that you are cute / beautiful / fantastic / my favorite person to talk to / etc".
  • "Forgive me if I may seem too cheeky, but I must say that you are amazing / a fantastic person / so beautiful / etc.".

  

  Step 6. Don't overdo it

  Avoid complimenting the feelings area too prematurely. In this way you will be able to increase the charm, making you more mysterious. The point is not to prevent this person from realizing that you like him, but to make him wonder "how much".

  Instead, you can text her like, "You looked very beautiful in your new dress today" or another cute and intriguing comment

  

  Step 7. Get your interlocutor to care about you, instead of having to do all the work yourself

  You should flatter him just enough to let him know you're interested, without specifying how much. To achieve this, dedicate yourself to more objective rather than subjective compliments. Here are some examples that illustrate this difference:

  • "I really like your eyes … they are so beautiful!". On the surface this compliment seems well done and would probably be appreciated as well, but you should avoid putting in statements such as "I love" or "I like you / I like". They betray the fact that the person has won your heart. They are great if you have already built a solid relationship, but are not suitable when used too prematurely, because they make you seem "too easy".
  • "You have magnificent eyes, very beautiful!". Although technically both sentences convey the same concept, the latter is an observation rather than a personal opinion. It implies that you find the other person attractive without giving a definitive confirmation. You will also be intrigued to want to know more.

  

  Step 8. Tease jokingly

  Since you can't use body language to communicate via texting or chat, you'll have to rely on your words to keep the atmosphere light and fun. At first rely on funny jokes (about things or events that you both know about), sarcasm - "Yeah, sure, I'm SURE you look like a monster in the morning as soon as you wake up:)" - and exaggerations: "You're probably a million. times better than me in this ".

  • Make it clear that you are joking. The downside of using messages to communicate is that you can't always read an emotion behind the words. If you happen to flirt with someone using this type of approach, make sure it is absolutely clear that you are not being serious. You can use smiley faces (emoticons), write all caps or insert exclamation marks to implicitly convey a joke.

    If you've already sent a message that could be misunderstood, make sure the meaning is crystal clear. You have to say something like "(joke)" or similar to save yourself "in the corner"

  

  Step 9. Make the other want more and more

  While you may want to keep talking to a person indefinitely, it's best to end the conversation before it comes to a standstill (as it always and inevitably happens). The best way to avoid an awkward pause is to stop talking before the unfortunate event occurs.

  • Plan your next time before you leave. Throw in a line like "Hey, so see you tomorrow?" or "See you soon".
  • If you are chatting online, emphasize how much you enjoyed the chat just as you are about to close. It doesn't have to be complicated: a simple "Wow, I really enjoyed it" or "I really enjoyed talking to you" is enough. If it's a message, you can also be more informal.
  • Be careful not to overdo it with compliments. They will have a lot less value if you just compliment them on anything. Rather limit yourself to the significant elements, especially those that are important to the recipient and that make them proud.

  

  Step 10. Don't take it too seriously

  Keep in mind that flirting should be a fun thing - try not to be mad if your endeavors are unsuccessful, not all interactions will be perfect. Stay positive and try again with someone else. Like everything, flirting gets better with practice. It doesn't necessarily have to end with a date. Sometimes it's just for fun.

  Flirting can help you meet new people, feel more comfortable, and learn to adapt. You don't have to pressure yourself to make it meaningful or to be perfect

  Advice

  • Don't complain while you're flirting. Remember: the world doesn't revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressing and avoid you. This is true even if you belittle yourself all the time, because it's not about humility - it's another way to focus attention on yourself.
  • Don't use your phone (i.e. no text messages) while flirting with someone. This would suggest that you are more interested in talking to someone else who is not there or that you are already in a relationship.
  • If you are flirting with a girl and think you are breaking the "physical contact barrier", test the waters with proper manners. For example, offer her your hand when she may need to keep her balance, such as when she gets out of your car, jumps in a puddle, or walks on any kind of "rough terrain". How does she react when you hold out your hand? Does it seem receptive? Or maybe she is hasty and lets her go?
  • Flirt appropriately based on the context. Getting together in the library or disco, for example, may not be the ideal places to talk a lot. In this case, smile, show your interest and wait for a genuine opportunity for the actual approach. However, don't hang around for long because you're too nervous to strike up a conversation; this will make you look creepy. Talk to us at the earliest opportunity.
  • Don't flirt with someone you're not romantically interested in, unless you're 100% sure that person isn't romantically interested in you. Otherwise, you risk accidentally encouraging her, which can lead to awkward moments and ultimately not-so-pleasant interactions.
  • Forget about anything you may need. Needing leads to obsession, and obsession is a disturbing thing. People in need are unbalanced and unstable, as their happiness depends too much on someone else, rather than being based on self-esteem. If you convey the discomfort of suffering from rejection by the other person, whether it is simple friendship or any kind of sentimental involvement, it would make the light-heartedness that makes flirting fun vanish.
  • Flirting isn't always appropriate. Funerals, for example, are generally not a good place to flirt. Even in the workplace it is best to avoid it; however, if you do, do your best, and don't let it matter if the other person isn't interested.
  • If you don't dare ask for her phone number, try giving her yours. If she is really interested, she will call you. Alternatively you could also give her your email.