During the carefree summer months you may want a free and non-binding relationship. With a summer flirt you can enjoy all the fun of typical summer activities without the obligations that a serious relationship brings. Just remember that for a perfect flirtation you must both agree on the fact of setting a deadline for your relationship. If you want to have this experience, make sure you choose the right person and fully enjoy the little time together.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Choosing a Partner
Step 1. Search for the perfect partner
Choose someone you don't already have relationships with. Avoid neighbors and friends as it will be difficult to part with them when autumn arrives. If possible, also avoid friends of friends and look for a partner beyond the groups you usually hang out with. Suitable places to look for a potential summer flirt partner are bars, the beach, parties or online, but beware of scams. A great partner is a self-confident, lively and independent person. This way, you will be sure to have a good time without disappointing her expectations.
- If you are traveling during the summer, you will be in the best position to have a summer flirt: you will be surrounded by people who do not know any of your friends and you will have the perfect escape at your fingertips. In fact, in September you will likely find yourself hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away from your summer partner.
- If you stay at home, you will still have several options available. Have a look at the various happenings in neighboring towns, on the beaches or anywhere else relatively close to your home. In this case, look for people who are only visiting for the summer.
- If you are in a somewhat isolated place, the best option may be the Internet. Check dating sites and specifically look for someone interested in casual relationships, paying attention to the people you come into contact with. It is safer to arrange the first date in a familiar public place, possibly bringing a friend with you.
Step 2. Get to know your potential partner
Find out more about his personality and interests - obviously it will be perfect if you like the same things. Above all, try to find out if he is willing to be in a casual relationship - if he is, you may have found the ideal partner.
You may also decide to take advantage of your summer flirtation to experience a romance outside your comfort zone. Since you won't have to worry about the future of the relationship, you can throw yourself into someone whose interests and lifestyle don't align with yours, ie who isn't normally your "type"
Step 3. Pay attention to body language to see if your potential candidate likes you
Much of the communication is non-verbal, so try to see these signals in the other:
- looks you in the eye more frequently and longer than it does with other people;
- his pupils dilate when you talk together;
- repeatedly touches you in a friendly way;
- constantly fiddles with some object, especially when you are talking together.
Step 4. Be direct
Although body language can be a source of clues, it is important to evaluate mutual interest as soon as possible. Remember that a summer flirt is definitely shorter than a classic relationship, so don't wait too long for the other to make the first move, but be a little more direct than usual. Explain to the other person that you find her attractive and that you would like to see her for a first date. Here are some phrases you might say after finding the right person:
- "I like you a lot and I'm looking for someone to have fun with this summer: are you interested?".
- "I will only be here for a couple of months and I would not want to miss the opportunity to spend them with you" is a good phrase if you are traveling.
- In case the other does not understand if your request to go out is to make friends or for something more, be honest. If he asks if this is a real date, don't be backward and confirm that it is, because you like him and would like to spend time with him or her.
Step 5. Be honest about your intentions
The other should know that you are only interested in a casual flirtation and not in a serious relationship. Probably one of you will have to face a major change at the end of the summer (like changing school or going home) that will make the breakup easier. If you continue to see each other even after the relationship is over, the relationship will be tense and awkward.
The best time to talk about this topic is at the beginning, when you are flirting and have not yet spent too much time together. You can tell the other that you just want to have fun and that you are not looking for anything serious
Part 2 of 3: Enjoying the relationship
Step 1. Enjoy the perfect summer
Try to indulge in as many summer activities as possible together: go for a swim, visit an amusement park, take a long romantic hike or take a boat ride. Make the most of the good weather and dedicate yourself as much as possible to outdoor activities.
Step 2. Have safe sex
Any type of sexual activity can carry the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs): in a short, casual relationship such as a summer flirt with an unknown person this risk can increase. At least make sure you use a condom; the use of lubricants can also help prevent breakage and reduce the risk of disease transmission. Ask the partner about his or her sexual history and the results of recent venereal disease tests; take into account the health of the other and be honest about a possible disease that you yourself may have. Above all, don't feel forced to do something you don't want.
Remember that there is no way to completely prevent sexually transmitted diseases: sex, like any other aspect of life, always involves a risk component
Step 3. Try not to fall in love
Remember that the best summer flirts don't involve attachment. Avoid finding yourself having to manage your emotions as you have fallen in love with someone you don't want to be in a long-term relationship with. If there is something that makes you lose your mind about someone (such as a particular city or a particularly romantic type of date), avoid it with all your might.
Step 4. Take your summer partner to fun group events
An interesting aspect of a summer flirt is having a partner available for any fun activity you don't want to participate in alone. Whether it's a barbecue or a concert, the other will be there with you and will make everything more special.
- Avoid taking your partner to important occasions or introducing them to your family. Remember that flirting should be without pressure and without commitment - would you feel like explaining it to your family?
- Which title to give your summer partner will depend on your culture. Where short-term relationships are common, there's nothing wrong with telling people that you two are a couple. Similarly, calling the other "my boyfriend" or "my girlfriend" is generally accepted. However, in more conservative circles, it might be better to refer to the other simply as a "friend" or "friend".
Step 5. Take a road trip
Choose a location neither of you have visited to spend memorable moments together. Away from the stress of everyday life, you will feel as if you are experiencing a little flirtation within your relationship.
Unless another couple of friends joins you, reserve the road trip at the end of the summer: it is better to be completely sure that your partner is trustworthy before traveling together
Part 3 of 3: Continue Your Life
Step 1. Prepare an escape route
When you decide to end your summer flirt, you usually have two options:
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The way of honesty.
In the best of situations, both of you are aware of the impending separation and this is able to stop any embarrassment in the bud. After all, you had an agreement from the start. Simply tell the other the date on which you will leave the city or when you intend to end your relationship, then pack your bags (even if only metaphorically) and turn the page.
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Making excuses.
If you can't be completely honest, start preparing your escape route at least a week before the time you want to break up. Think of a good reason for leaving the other, for example an unexpected scholarship abroad or having to go home to take care of the family. You can also just tell him that the relationship isn't going the way you want it to, despite the fact that he or she is a great person. The break should be clear and simple; you should act like an adult and break up in person, not with a message. If you are having a hard time finding the courage, remember that this is just a summer flirt and hope you have found a partner who can handle the situation.
Step 2. End your summer flirting in a friendly way
Reassure the other that the breakup is for a good purpose, perhaps using some classic phrases to help you. Be firm, so neither of you get caught up in the relationship, making it clear that your summer flirt is officially over.
Step 3. Stay together if you both feel there might be something more
Sometimes it can happen to fall in love with the summer partner despite the efforts made to prevent this from happening. If you are not too far from each other at the end of the summer, consider continuing the relationship: even if the other agreed to establish a deadline at the beginning, they may share the same feelings as you..
Advice
- Choose a partner who is looking for what you want.
- You and your summer partner will not stay together forever, so make sure you enjoy the relationship as much as possible, but at the same time don't feel forced to do things you don't want just because you have the opportunity.
- Don't choose someone you already know, or this decision will backfire on you. It is best not to ruin a friendship because of flirting, so choose someone as far away from your circle of friends as possible.
