Life can subject you to a series of overwhelming emotions such as sadness, anger, jealousy, despair … It is not always possible (or even a good idea) to silence the feelings you feel, because they exist to signal something wrong and they can therefore be helpful in dealing with problems and improving your life. However, strong emotions can sometimes make mental and physical functioning difficult and you need to temporarily numb yourself just to face the day. By using a few simple strategies, you can wear emotional armor and ignore the feelings that cause you discomfort.
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Check the Environment
Step 1. Know that numbing yourself has a cost
Studies show that repressing negative emotions can deplete one's psychological resources, making it even more difficult to manage stress and make sound decisions. This means that numbing yourself to emotional pain could damage your resilience or even your ability to remember events. Use this method only if it is really necessary for you to deal with your daily life.
- An effective alternative is to process emotional pain by framing it in a different context and focusing on more positive emotions. For example, you may feel the need to numb yourself to an embarrassing event at work. In this case you can try to consider the situation from a lighter and more fun point of view, avoiding to experience it as a humiliation. This approach to the problem is known as cognitive restructuring and, although it does not correspond in itself to emotional insensitivity, it can produce very similar effects.
- Keep in mind that becoming totally numb to emotions or adopting this type of attitude for an extended period of time could indicate the onset of some mental dysfunction, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or clinical depression. If you continually feel lost, numb and desperate, you should see your doctor or psychologist as soon as possible.
Step 2. Avoid people, environments and events that make you uncomfortable
The simplest way to reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions is to choose the environments to which you expose yourself. First make sure you never trigger extreme emotional responses. If you know that some people, places, and businesses bring out your worst side, try as much as possible to avoid getting involved in these areas.
Step 3. Take control of situations that make you feel uncomfortable
Sometimes you need to interact with people you don't like or perform tasks you hate. If you can't avoid situations that cause you emotional pain, find ways to control them. Don't see yourself as an inept victim but instead try to find ways to act in a given situation. Just remember that you always have a choice, which will help you deal with moments of intense emotion without harm. Eg:
- If you feel stressed while studying the night before an exam, try studying a couple of days in advance instead so you can relax the night before the test.
- If you don't like going to parties because there are too many people present, ask a couple of close friends to accompany you. Look for them if you feel the need to get away from the crowd and have a more private conversation.
Step 4. Find distractions
When you feel that emotions are hindering you, stop whatever you are doing and dedicate yourself to something different. Try engaging in an activity that requires full concentration of your mental and emotional attention. By distracting yourself you will be able to process your emotions later, when you are likely to be calmer and more reasonable. So don't worry about reviewing your emotional state right away, simply change your mood by varying the type of activity. Some good occupations include:
- Playing a video game.
- Watch a movie.
- Indulge in your favorite hobby.
- Go to a concert or cabaret show.
- Exercise.
Step 5. Take a break from social media
Technology that involves social interaction can lead to experiencing strong emotions, because by remaining connected to social networking sites you expose yourself to other stressful factors, concerning the workplace and daily, due to which you will experience further feelings of ineptitude. You can become calmer and more peaceful by stopping attending these sites. Take control of your emotional life by reducing the time you spend on the Internet. To limit the use of the web you can:
- Check your inbox only at work and never at home.
- Turn off the phone in the evening.
- Disable social media notifications.
- Delete your profile on social media sites.
- Take a break from the internet on weekends.
Step 6. Adopt a neutral attitude, even if it doesn't come naturally to you
According to the Facial Feedback Theory, you can change your emotional state simply by varying your facial expression. In other words, by pretending to feel a certain way you can actually start experiencing the resulting feeling. If you wish to make yourself emotionally numb, act as if you were. It may be difficult during times of stress, but with a little practice it will quickly become second nature. Stay neutral:
- Maintaining a detached and impassive expression.
- Relaxing your lips without smiling or pouting.
- Speaking in a low tone and volume.
- Always being concise and keeping your sentences short and relevant.
- Maintaining eye contact with a calm, blank stare.
Part 2 of 5: Paying Attention to Emotions
Step 1. Convince yourself that negative emotions are entirely in your mind
You must understand that negative emotions are not objective facts and you are not forced to feel emotional pain. Remember that this kind of suffering originates from your thoughts. This means that you can rise above many harmful emotions such as fear, anxiety and anger. When a counterproductive emotion threatens to surface, simply ignore it with the mantra: "It's only in my mind." This type of ploy is an essential element to improve the level of one's awareness.
Step 2. Imagine dealing with situations that could cause you emotional distress in the future
In addition to shielding yourself from the emotional pain you experience in the present, you can also use mindfulness-based techniques to prepare yourself for emotional distress in the future. Think about upcoming events that could be causing you difficulties, such as a stressful exam, a potential fight with your girlfriend, or a difficult task at work. Imagine reacting calmly and calmly during these events and practicing overcoming the related unpleasant emotions. You will soon get used to these strong feelings and will be better equipped to handle emotionality in a calm and detached way.
Step 3. Pay attention to your emotional state
Analyze your mood every day to determine the degree of emotional well-being in a specific period. Even when you are not sad or upset, being aware of what you are feeling emotionally and why you feel the way you do will help you understand your gut reactions to daily life. Greater awareness will allow you, sooner or later, to control your emotional reactions more effectively. As you mentally self-analyze, ask yourself the following questions:
- What am I feeling right now? Am I experiencing a unique and overwhelming emotion or a combination of emotions? Just labeling your feelings will make them look more objectively.
- Why do I feel this way? Are my emotions caused by internal factors (like my fears) or by external factors (for example someone yelling at me)?
- Is this feeling pleasant? Maybe you feel happy or grateful for your life and want to nurture these emotions, or you feel anxious or nervous and don't want to feel these feelings anymore.
- What can I do to control my emotions in the future? Ask yourself if you can encourage the good feelings and drive away or even ignore the more negative ones. How can you structure your life in such a way that you control your emotions yourself and not let them control you?
Step 4. Don't blame yourself when you express your feelings
Sometimes the emotional armor may fail and you may be expressing emotions that you don't want to show. Maybe you cried at work or couldn't hide the stress at school. You have to understand that these situations happen to everyone and try to learn from the experience. Some ways that can help you forgive yourself include:
- Focus on the future and not the present. Ask yourself if your current failure has taught you any lessons about how you might react in the future. Compliment yourself for learning from a difficult situation.
- Remember that resilience only comes from failure. You cannot be emotionally strong instantly, you will have to practice consistently. See this as part of the path you need to take to gain control of your emotions.
- Keep things in perspective. Remember that the person who cares most about your emotional state is you. Colleagues, classmates, friends and family will soon forget your momentary emotional excess. Remember this is not the end of the world, it is simply a small inconvenience that has happened in your life.
Step 5. Take some time to react
If something upsets you, try to stay calm and clear your mind for a few minutes. Breathe deeply and count to 10. Once you get over the gut reaction of the moment you will be able to respond to the situation in a calm and rational way, rather than in a purely emotional way.
Step 6. Write a journal
A great way to keep emotions from controlling your life is to write them down. Vent your feelings by expressing them in a diary: it will allow you to momentarily forget your emotional state and move on with your life. Studies show that people who record their moods in a journal feel they are more in control. Set certain times of the day to journal or just do it when you feel emotions are taking over.
- Ask yourself if your emotional reaction would be shared by a psychologically healthy person or if it turns out to be somehow exaggerated.
- Ask yourself if you've ever felt the same way in the past. It will help you identify a possible recurring pattern in the dynamics of your emotional state.
- If something upsets you, simply remind yourself that you will write about it in your journal later. This way you will avoid reacting emotionally to the situation.
Part 3 of 5: Calm down physically
Step 1. Take deep breaths
Deep breathing exercises will help you keep a calmer attitude. It's also a great way to manage stress when you feel like you're about to lose control of your emotions. Breathe through your nose for 5 seconds, hold your breath for another 5 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 5 seconds. Repeat the exercise as needed until you regain control of your actions.
Step 2. Engage in vigorous physical activity for about 30 minutes
Exercise will allow you to distract yourself from the painful sensations and will help make you calmer and more rational. Find the sport that's right for you. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, put on your trainers and engage in exercise. You will soon forget your emotional reaction. Some great sports include:
- Running or jogging.
- Cycling.
- I swim.
- Team sports such as softball or soccer.
- Martial arts.
- Kickboxing.
- Dance.
Step 3. Avoid the use of altering substances
You may be tempted to use substances to dull your emotions. Alcohol and many types of drugs, however, work by reducing inhibitions, causing you to react emotionally with even greater intensity. Even caffeine can cause a stress reaction. Stay calm and emotionally neutral by refraining from using drugs, alcohol, and caffeine.
An important exception concerns the need to take psychiatric drugs to treat a mental disorder. If this is the case, always and expressly follow the directions of your doctor
Step 4. Try to get a good night's sleep
Insomnia can make it difficult to manage emotions in a calm and neutral way. Make sure you sleep for at least 8 hours every night. If you have trouble falling asleep, be sure to:
- Keep the bedroom cool and well ventilated.
- Use a comfortable mattress.
- Use a device that emits white noise to get rid of ambient noise.
- Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and heavy foods, especially in the evening.
Part 4 of 5: Managing Anxiety
Step 1. Create a reliable network of contacts
Sometimes feelings of anxiety and depression may cause you to isolate yourself from others. However, social contacts are one of the most important things to maintain a healthy emotional balance. When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, talk to your friends or family and let them help you process your feelings. Even if it's not about becoming emotionally numb, you will still be able to recover a peaceful mood faster.
Step 2. Act positively
Sometimes it can happen that you feel anxious about a situation that you cannot control. Instead of ruminating, you should try to take action to improve the situation. Resist the urge to detach, it will simply make you feel more stressed.
For example, if you are feeling anxious about an upcoming exam, don't try to forget about it. Instead, commit to studying for 20 minutes a day, it will help you overcome anxiety
Step 3. Try to convince yourself that stress is only momentary
It is important to remember that most stressful events end early and don't last forever. Whether it's a party you don't want to attend, an exam you don't want to take, or a job project you despise, remind yourself that the stressful situation will pass. Don't feel like your life is entirely harnessed to a single stressful episode.
Step 4. Take a break
Sometimes you can manage stress better after giving yourself some time to regain mental energy. If you start to feel completely overwhelmed by events, distract yourself for 20-30 minutes by strolling, talking to a friend, or listening to your favorite musical artist. Return to the stressful situation again when you are calmer and more ready to deal with it directly.
You will feel more relaxed if you are particularly dedicated to an activity that involves the social sphere (like having a coffee with friends) or that prompts you to go out into the fresh air (like walking near a lake). These activities can be more effective in calming and invigorating you than watching television
Part 5 of 5: When to Try
Step 1. Try to stop your emotions when you are facing a very challenging situation
Particularly strong emotions can sometimes be a hindrance at a time of particular stress. For example, if you have to give an important speech or presentation, fear may cloud your ability to think clearly and prevent you from completing your task properly. Knowing how to block that fear can be helpful in overcoming difficulties, whether at school or at work.
Step 2. Temporarily put emotions aside when making decisions
Emotions play a role here, but sometimes you need to put them aside and think more objectively. For example, you may be broken after a breakup and feel tempted to move to another city to avoid seeing your ex. If you are able to look beyond your sadness and evaluate other factors, the idea of leaving everything and walking away may be less likely.
Step 3. Dull the intensity of your emotions when you are in a situation you cannot control
Being able to control your emotions in this way can be a useful defense mechanism. Maybe you are under the gun of a bully at school, or you don't get along very well with a sibling. If you find yourself in a situation that isn't easy to change, you can protect yourself by temporarily blocking your emotions to get through the day more smoothly.
Step 4. Avoid repressing your emotions too often
We feel emotions for a reason: they are essential to face life. If repressing your emotions becomes a habit, all you do is avoid having experiences that your mind needs to try. Fear, sadness, despair, and other emotions that may not be a good experience are just as important as joy and excitement. If you don't allow yourself to be sad, it will be harder and harder to feel happiness. Rather than repressing your emotions, learn how to experience them properly and use them to your advantage.
Advice
- Sometimes friends can help you process emotions more calmly. Other times, however, being around people could heighten the intensity of your mood. Do what you think best for yourself and always take care of yourself.
- Avoiding your own feelings can sometimes lead to further emotional stress. Find healthy ways to process what you feel; if you can't do it now, try it later.
- Try to set the goal of achieving a calm and neutral state, rather than a state of total numbness. Find ways to react calmly to difficult situations and without completely turning off your emotions.
