The word "bullying" refers to any type of desired and prolonged behavior towards an employee with the aim of degrading, humiliating, embarrassing or hindering his performance. It can come from colleagues, their superiors or management and is a real problem for workers of all levels. It's not a joke; if you know how to recognize and deal with bullying you can help create a healthier and more productive work environment for yourself and your colleagues. Read on to learn more.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Recognizing mobbing
Step 1. Learn to recognize bullying and how it is implemented
Just like bullies in the schoolyard, those in the workplace use the same tools of intimidation and manipulation to break you down. Learning to recognize their behavior is the first step in being able to stop them and return to work in a comfortable environment.
- A bully takes pleasure in harassing others. You may not always get along with everyone at work, but that doesn't mean that you are dealing with a bully or that you are a bully yourself. To recognize a bully, you have to pay attention to certain signs: does this person seem particularly busy making you trouble, making you wrong or breaking down? Do you think he takes pleasure in it? If the answer is yes, it could be a bully.
- Bullies often have deeply ingrained psychological issues related to control. Bullies' attitudes are more related to their insecurities than to your performance and personality.
Step 2. Learn to recognize bullying behaviors
Watch for clear signs from a bully that are more than just a misunderstanding or personal disagreement. Bullying could include the following actions:
- Reproaching an employee both privately and in front of colleagues or clients.
- To insult.
- Dismissing or making disrespectful comments.
- Over-controlling, criticizing, or being picky about an employee's job.
- Deliberately overloading an employee with work.
- Obstructing an employee's work with the purpose of making him wrong.
- Purposely hiding information needed to perform a task efficiently.
- De facto exclude someone from normal office conversations and make them feel unwanted.
Step 3. Pay attention to signs outside of work that could tell you if you are being bullied
You could be a victim of bullying if you suffer from the following ailments at home:
- You have difficulty sleeping, moaning nausea or vomiting before going to work.
- Your family members are starting to get tired of listening to your work problems that obsess them every day.
- You spend the day off worrying about getting back to work.
- Your doctor has health problems related to blood pressure and stress.
- You feel guilty for causing problems in the workplace.
Step 4. If you feel like you are being bullied, don't ignore it
If you feel unjustly sidelined or are constantly being victimized, you may mistakenly try to come up with excuses. "Everyone is treated this way" or "I deserve it" are typical expressions related to the sense of guilt that bullies in the workplace help to throw on you. Don't fall into the trap of self-loathing if you feel like you're being bullied. Develop a plan to stop this phenomenon and claim your place in the office.
Unlike school bullies, who tend to rage on individuals they consider lonely or weak, workplace bullies target colleagues they see as a threat to their career. If your presence makes your coworker evil enough to feel the need to beat you down, take it as a compliment. You are good at what you do. You know. Don't let them confuse your ideas
Part 2 of 4: Take action
Step 1. Ask your harasser to stop
Of course this is more difficult than it sounds, but you can keep in mind some simple gestures and affirmations to pull out when you feel like you are being bullied.
- Pull your hands up to create a barrier between you and the harasser, like a policeman lifting his flag with his hand.
- Say a short sentence that expresses your frustration, such as "Please stop, let me work" or "Stop talking, please." This will help you take a stand and provide you with useful elements to include in a possible complaint if this behavior does not stop.
- Never feed bullying. Responding to insults with insults or yells could lead to trouble or make the situation worse. Use a calm, confident tone of voice to ask your attacker to stop as if you were talking to a dog chewing on a slipper.
Step 2. Keep track of all bullying incidents
Record the name of the one who torments you and how he does it. Take note of the times, dates, locations and names of any witnesses at the event. Provide and collect as much information as possible. Collecting accurate documentation is the most important and concrete thing to do to stop your tormentor when you report the problem to your superiors or take legal action.
Even if you are not sure if you are being bullied, keeping a journal of your feelings can help you bring them out and understand what you are struggling with. Writing down your feelings and frustrations could lead you to realize that you are not a victim of bullying, or that you certainly are and must therefore take action to solve the problem
Step 3. Get witnesses
Consult with colleagues of the same level as you whenever you are harassed and make sure they would support you by confirming your claims. Have them write it down for future reference. Choose someone who works around the same time as you or who has a desk next to yours.
- If mobbing episodes tend to occur at certain times or in specific locations, have your witness walk around the area when you suspect you are about to be harassed. Bring your co-workers to the meeting with the supervisor you think is bothering you. You will have support in case things go wrong and evidence for the future.
- If you are being bullied, there is a good chance that others are too. Join and help each other to fight against a common enemy.
Step 4. Stay calm and don't act on impulse
Make sure you've gathered the evidence and are calm and professional. Running to your boss in an emotional turmoil can make you look like someone complaining or overreacting, even though it's a serious problem. If you stay calm you will be more eloquent, able to better explain the facts and encourage the possibility of changing the working environment for the better.
Spend a night between the mobbing episode and reporting the events to your boss. If in the meantime you are being bullied or have to wait before you can talk to your boss, do your best to avoid the bullying you. Keep calm and continue on your way. If you know it could happen again, you'll be ready when it happens
Step 5. Set up a meeting with your supervisor or HR manager
Bring your written documentation, witnesses, and present your case as quietly as possible. Repeat your speech before going to the meeting. Keep your testimony short and smooth; also, fill out all the documents that your superiors may present to you.
- Don't suggest a course of action, unless your boss asks for it. In other words, it is not appropriate to say to your boss: "Mario must be fired because he bullies me". Present your case as convincingly as possible and, with as much incriminating evidence as possible, say these words: "I am frustrated by this behavior and have no choice but to let you know what happened." Let your superiors draw their own conclusions on the course of action.
- If your supervisor is bullying you, contact the human resources department or your supervisor's bosses. You are not in the military, so there is no chain of command. Talk to people who can do something.
Step 6. Go ahead
If the bullying continues, if the problem has not been resolved and nothing has been done to stop it, you have the right to persevere and reach out to top management, senior staff or even human resources. Keep going until your complaint is taken seriously and a solution to the problem is found that allows you to work in a hospitable environment.
- It would help to find a number of alternatives to create a better situation. If your boss's supervisor is unwilling to fire him but recognizes that the bullying has taken place, do you want to be transferred? Do you want to work from home? What could improve your situation? Consider seriously the alternatives in case you have to propose the solution.
- If you present evidence and nothing changes or the situation even worsens, consult a lawyer and consider taking legal action. Provide documentation and take legal action.
Part 3 of 4: Recovering from mobbing
Step 1. Healing must be a priority
You won't be a good worker or a happy person if you don't take the time to recover from this bad experience. Take some time off and skip work for a while.
If you've presented the case well, you could be a great candidate for a paid vacation. Take this opportunity quickly
Step 2. Engage in meaningful and rewarding activities outside of work
It is no coincidence that it is called "work" and not "land of toys". Any job, even one that takes place in a healthy and pleasant environment, can overwhelm you after a while and make you feel the need to take a vacation, to rejuvenate your work ethic and spirit. If you have been a victim of bullying and want to start feeling better, you might:
- Spend time on old hobbies.
- Read more.
- Start dating someone.
- Socializing with friends and family.
Step 3. Consult your doctor or a psychiatrist
You may need more substantial care than you can do on your own. Therapy or medical treatment may help you if you have spent a lot of time in the grip of bullying.
Step 4. Change job
It may happen that, even if the bullying situation is resolved, finding new opportunities elsewhere can make you feel more comfortable. Make the whole thing an opportunity rather than a step backwards. If you are unhappy with your job, developing skills related to a new profession, moving to a place with a different climate or just changing sectors could bring you a new lease on life and career.
Part 4 of 4: Preventing Mobbing as an Employer
Step 1. Have a zero tolerance policy against bullying in your company
Any health and wellness policy must include protocols against bullying. Make sure that management guarantees and supports this concept and that it is taken seriously at all levels of the company.
Encourage an “open door policy” and organize frequent orientation meetings on bullying, making sure that employees of all levels are alert to these behaviors
Step 2. Deal with bullying episodes promptly
It's easy to sit in the hope that things will work out on their own and in the belief that your employees will be able to deal with each other, but it won't. Don't let a problem run rampant among your employees if you want a productive, healthy and efficient work environment.
Investigate all complaints seriously and thoroughly. Even if they come from overly sensitive employees and seem to be caused by simple misunderstandings, they still deserve your attention
Step 3. Eliminate the competition
Bullying is often caused by a feeling of competition in the workplace: employees who feel threatened by the skills of certain colleagues try to belittle them or sabotage their efforts with psychological warfare. This is too dangerous and problematic a dynamic to be allowed to proliferate in the workplace.
Competition in the workplace is based on the belief that employees want to excel and that they work hard when rewarded for their successes. While it is true that competition can increase productivity in some business models, it can also increase employee turnover and create a hostile and unwelcoming environment
Step 4. Encourage interaction between management and staff
The greater the involvement of employees of all levels, the less chance there is that lower-level employees will have to take on the difficulties. Think of the "Lord of the Flies": don't let the parents go away from the island and the kids will be fine.
Advice
- Don't believe the bullying myths that words don't hurt as much as physical violence or when it is said that real men don't cry. The words do hurt, hurt the soul and bullying can reduce a person to a state of sadness and pain.
- Continue to be yourself and feel good about yourself. Don't believe the nonsense others say and don't let it stop you from being yourself.
- Don't take what a bully says personally - doing so will only damage your self-esteem.
- Keep a journal of all bullying incidents and keep evidence, such as emails and work instructions, on which to base your claims.
- When confronted with evil comments against you, the best thing to do is to remain silent and walk away, or simply respond with a single word to communicate that you are not interested in the absurdities uttered by the bully.
- A bully might interrogate his victim by asking a series of questions such as in a police interrogation or as happens during a cross examination. The interrogation can arouse the victim's fear of answering making them feel wrong compared to the bully / harasser, anxious, suspicious and even more alone.
- Don't react: You could lose control of the situation and end up being accused instead of your harasser.
- Beware of malicious gossip and rude comments disguised as jokes or teasing. If it hurts you, it just hurts you.
- Think about the reaction. If it escalates, make sure you have a witness for any future steps you want to take. First of all, you are immediately communicating to this person that you will not allow them to treat you in this way and that you will not accept this type of behavior under any circumstances.
- Keep making your voice heard. Remember that you are not alone.
- Remember that you are not making up anything when you report bullying. Everyone has the right to be safe, to be treated fairly and to be free from all kinds of bullying. Keep making your voice heard until you are heard and taken seriously.
- If the situation worsens dramatically, don't be afraid to go to the doctor to take sick days or a gap year.
- A bullied person can feel very lonely and the effects can last a long time, even for a lifetime.
- Be psychologically prepared to seek out-of-company legal assistance.
- You can tell your harasser that if certain behaviors don't stop, you have no choice but to report him to management for resolution, as the harassment is making your job intolerable.
- If you are the victim of a bullying situation, especially if you are always at the center of all the teasing, it would be advisable to have an examination of conscience from time to time. Ask yourself why they are doing this to you and what your fault is. Collect all the negative words about yourself even if it could torture you, even just one word that really hurt you, that made your personality collapse, a word that many have spoken to you. They may have thought that you are a person who likes to be alone, someone who cannot get along with others. They interpreted your shyness as detachment. Then it would be time to start over: try to be sociable, from time to time, learn to adapt to their conversations. However, if you believe these people have a superiority complex, look for one or two people who share your interests and passions. It is important to have a friend, at least one, in the workplace. Lonely people are often bullied. You just have to trust yourself and always love yourself. If you want many people to enjoy your company, the first person who should enjoy it is you.
