Did a girl steal the guy you have a crush on? If you accidentally pushed him away or if you simply didn't realize what you had until you lost it, you can send him signals to let him know that you want a second chance. Maybe, to make him come back to you, just remind him of the good times we had together!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Make an Action Plan
Step 1. Re-establish a contact
It may take some time and it has to happen at the right time: once the period in which you are not looking for it is over, you need to think about how to relate to your ex again. The best way to do this varies according to the situation.
For example, if you have a lot of mutual friends, you can wait for one of them to throw a party. If, on the other hand, you don't feel comfortable reconnecting in person, you can try texting him asking for something innocent, like the name of a restaurant you've been to. The conversation should be short, concise and without emoticons
Step 2. Be friendly to both of them
You need to be nice to his new girlfriend too, so that she doesn't arouse suspicion that you're talking to your ex again. Avoid hinting at your past relationship in the presence of her new girlfriend - it could get awkward and give her a way to think that you still care.
Step 3. Write to him occasionally without nagging him
Once you've re-established contact, you can start texting him: how often and how to do it depends on his response. Send him a link to a funny Tumblr quote or remind him of an old joke between you, to let him know that you still value your relationship, but don't seem desperate.
At this point, you will be actively involved in his life again, and his new girlfriend may have something to object to. Do your best not to criticize her in the presence of your ex or via text. Be calm and confident, because if she keeps talking to you (despite her protests) your approach is working
Step 4. Focus on getting her friend back again
Friends meet for coffee or chat about new movies coming to theaters - this is your short-term goal. Your ex will let his guard down and you can try to re-establish that connection that brought you together: was it a mutual love for basketball? Did you both hate the math classes you took together? Think of this step as if you had pressed your friendship's restart button.
A good way to stay away from the friend zone is to break down the obstacle of physical contact. Do not do anything too obvious: simply touching his shoulder or arm while you are talking can send the right signals
Step 5. Let him know how you feel
Once you have built the foundation to win him back, you need to let him know how you feel. It's best to do this in person, so you can see their immediate reactions and hear the tone of their voice. Test your speech first so you don't get stuck while you talk.
- Try not to be too excited. Simply tell him that you miss the relationship you had before, that you know what you did wrong with your relationship, and that you would like to have another chance. Let him know that you are aware that the past will not be erased instantly, that you know what mistakes have been made and what to avoid in the future.
- If he doesn't seem to be on the same page as you, avoid crying or begging him. You might look desperate and would probably be gone forever. At this point you have re-established a friendship with him and maybe at the moment he just wants that. Respect his feelings and don't try to force him into a relationship if he doesn't seem ready.
- Even if you've done your best, be prepared for possible rejection. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard we try: our exes don't have the same intention as us. Keep in mind that he may still be suffering from your breakup or he may really love his new girlfriend.
Step 6. Encourage him to take his time
You know firsthand the pain of breaking up, and if you are successful in winning it back, he will have to leave his new girlfriend and hurt his feelings. You will show self-control and maturity by telling him to take time and be nice to his future ex-girlfriend when he has to break up with her.
Method 2 of 3: Working Behind the Scenes
Step 1. Make sure the reasons for getting back with your ex are legitimate
You will obviously think that the reasons you want to win your man back are valid, but try to be objective and consider whether or not this is the right thing to do. Do you really miss being with him or are you just angry that he pulled away from you so quickly? Try to be honest with yourself and see if your wishes are worth the end of her current relationship.
If deception is the cause of your relationship ending, you need to think: Do you really want to put up with something like this again? You may believe that he is the right guy for you, when in reality you are not sad and jealous for the guy himself, but for losing a relationship that you have invested time and energy in
Step 2. Determine that you have no contact with him as a temporary rule
If you decide you want to try to win him back, the first thing to do is to avoid contacting him right away. You don't have to delete him from friends on social media or stop following him, but don't call him, don't send him private messages and don't post anything on his accounts. Stay visible, so that he knows you still exist, but don't involve him in your life.
- There are exceptions: if you have children with your ex boyfriend, you can't stop talking to them for their own sake. If you find yourself in a situation that makes it impossible to have no contact, make sure that the conversations are minimal. Be polite, but don't talk to him for long, you need to be as concise as possible.
- The time when you don't have to have any relationship with your ex is probably one of the hardest things to do when you want to win him back, but remember that the ends justify the means. It doesn't apply to all guys, but most of them want what they can't get - walking away from them will make them realize what it's like not to have you in their life. Your goal is to make this idea bleak.
Step 3. Don't compare yourself to his new girlfriend
Once you've severed your relationship with your ex, you'll be tempted to go check out his new girlfriend's social media profiles and torture yourself with her photos, thinking about how perfect she is and how happy they are together. Avoid confronting his new flame: he has nothing more than you, if not his attention, which, however, you are trying to win back. If she looks taller, slimmer, or more athletic to you, don't get down on yourself. Remember that your ex has already loved you once and can do it again.
Step 4. Make small changes to your physical appearance
You don't have to eat too strict a diet or train excessively; however, you will feel safer if you are comfortable with yourself. Try a new cut or hair color, get a manicure, pedicure, or join the gym. You'll boost your self-esteem, and even if you don't get the one you love back, you'll feel good knowing you're looking your best.
Method 3 of 3: Prepare Psychologically
Step 1. Give yourself some time
A breakup can hurt, and seeing your ex boyfriend with another woman can be terrible. However, before planning how to win him back, you need to wait long enough for your relationship to become a thing of the past. The ideal would be to wait a couple of months, but a month is the minimum time to let go before looking for it again.
If you rush into trying to win him back, you risk appearing desperate or clingy. This would give him a weapon to use against you, to paint you as a crazy ex-girlfriend. Resist the urge to try to get it back immediately
Step 2. Think about what went wrong last time
What happened wrong with your previous relationship? He betrayed you? Did you leave him and now are you sorry? Have you had any trust issues? Think back to what the main problems in your relationship have been and think seriously about how to deal with the ones to come. You don't want to win him back and lose him soon after, as you haven't changed your attitudes or expectations.
Step 3. Direct your anger towards something positive
It's easy to feel bitter and resentful after a breakup. When you've put a lot of time and energy into a relationship, it can be hard to see your ex happy with another girl. Nobody wants to take back a bitter and angry person, so you need to steer those feelings towards something beautiful.
