Planning your own funeral might seem ghoulish, but it can also save your loved ones a lot of money. On average, a funeral costs more than € 5,000. By adding floral, transport and other unexpected expenses, the cost can easily double. In addition to alleviating the financial burden on those who remain, planning your own funeral ensures that everything goes as desired, and saves your relatives from having to guess what kind of funeral you would have wanted.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Plan the Burial
Step 1. Consider all the elements of a burial
Although personal details may be identical for cremation or burial, there are several factors to consider in a traditional funeral.
Step 2. Choose a coffin
It is often the most expensive element in a burial, as well as being a heartbreaking choice to be left to survivors, who could opt for a very expensive coffin, burned by the recent bereavement. There is no need to have a trendy coffin with a velvet finish; you can save thousands of euros by choosing a simple coffin to store your remains. Evaluate the various offers; consult at least 3 funeral homes to find out your options; you can even buy one online. Funeral homes are required to accept whatever casket you choose.
- Wooden coffins range from around € 300 to € 10,000.
- Metal coffins cost around € 800 to € 10,000.
- Cardboard coffins (wood imitation) range from around € 50 to € 500.
Step 3. Choose a crypt
There are no laws requiring a crypt or the like, but most cemeteries require it. The aim is to prevent the grave from sinking, and to keep the foundations of the cemetery uniform. All coffins deteriorate over time, so a crypt will prevent the tomb from collapsing in the future.
Step 4. Calculate cemetery costs
The rates of the cemeteries are in addition to those of the funeral honors. You will need to purchase a burial lot (up to € 3-4,000) and pay for the excavation and preparation of the crypt. The cemetery also charges for the placement of a headstone. Many cemeteries take a percentage of the initial cost and set it aside for a perpetual care plan; be sure to find out any additional fees for maintaining your lot (public cemeteries are subsidized by local taxes).
Step 5. Get a headstone
The cost of a granite tombstone starts at around € 1000.
Step 6. Don't forget the basic funeral home fees
Even if you buy the coffin, crypt and other items in advance, you will still have to pay for basic services. You can also negotiate and pay in advance for mandatory standard services, such as the arrangement of the remains, the drawing up of the death certificate and the burial permit.
Step 7. Organize religious practices
If you want a religious ceremony, you have to pay the church, synagogue or mosque fees. The use of the building is usually free, but you will have to pay for at least some of these services:
- Minister of faith, priest, rabbi or eulogist.
- Musicians. The figure could include sound systems and soloists.
- Custody fees.
- Funeral programs, holy cards.
- Food (some laws prevent many churches from administering food prepared outside).
Part 2 of 3: Plan a Cremation Service
Step 1. Consider cremation instead of a traditional burial
Cremation can greatly reduce the cost of a funeral, but it can also end up having the same cost; it all depends on your choices. You can arrange to have your remains cremated directly and skip the ceremony for just over € 1000. Or you can choose from multiple options, bringing the cost over € 5000.
Step 2. Plan a low-cost cremation, complete with a ceremony
Look for offers that include direct cremation with visits from relatives and funeral services (without the body).
- Choose a crematorium service similar to the infusion. A "full" cremation usually includes:
- The use of a coffin to see the remains and for the funeral ceremony (the body is transported to the ovens and cremated after the ceremony).
- The purchase of an urn to store the ashes.
- The salary of a minister of faith or eulogist.
- Cemetery costs (for the maintenance and positioning of the urn, in case the ashes are not scattered).
- Floral arrangements.
- Scattering ashes (if you want them to be scattered).
Step 3. Learn about the laws regarding the scattering of ashes
There are no precise rules and laws on spreading, probably because there are no associated safety, health or pollution problems. However, use common sense and check local regulations to check for any items contrary to your intentions. It is particularly important if you are considering an urban or public area, such as a park. Other factors to keep in mind:
- Ask for permission if you want to scatter the ashes on private property.
- Keep in mind that the ashes of a human being are very eye-catching. They are very white and therefore very visible. It is not a problem if they are scattered over a stretch of water, but on a day with little wind the ashes could remain on the ground and be very visible for a long time (scattering on a windy day presents another big problem).
- Keep in mind that some people and cultures view ash-shedding repugnant and offensive. Take this into account when choosing the place.
Part 3 of 3: Plan the Ceremony Details
Step 1. Make a list of everything you want to include in the ceremony
It's best to make a list of your every wish (once you've reviewed your choices, you can be precise in your requests to the funeral home and easily eliminate those that are unable to comply with your latest requests). You may want to include some or all of these elements:
- Eulogy. In case you want someone to speak at your funeral, ask them. That way they will have time (hopefully years) to write a proper eulogy.
- Write your obituary. No matter how much your relatives know you, they are likely to overlook fundamental details of your life when they are called to suddenly produce an obituary. Write it yourself or provide any information your family needs.
- Write private letters to your relatives and friends. You can have them delivered after your death, or you can have them read aloud during the ceremony.
- Choose the music for the ceremony. It doesn't have to be traditional. Think about creating your own CD with the songs you want for the ceremony. Choose a genre you love, or songs from a particular era dear to you. Try to have fun; include at least one song that is capable of eliciting smiles, if not outright laughter.
- Choose the photos you would like to represent you.
- Create an audio or video recording. You can record yourself remembering facts from your life. Be irreverent, make faces and say what you want. These are your last words.
Advice
- Consider an ecological burial and reduce your environmental impact for eternity. You can purchase a biodegradable shroud.
- Do your family a favor and tell them where they can find all your important documents. Store everything in an easily accessible place.
- If you have enough space in your garage or tool shed, you can save even more by having a coffin delivered to you to assemble directly to your home.
Warnings
- In some states, time must pass before cremation; make sure your family knows, so you can schedule a ceremony with your ashes ready.
- Regardless of the type of funeral you want, find out about the laws in your country. For example, your state may not require embalming, so don't pay for similar services, or inform your relatives in advance about your country's funeral rules and laws.
