For those who want to take more control over their lives and know they don't need others to achieve their goals, being able to be independent is a vital skill. Being more independent will give you the freedom to do what you want regardless of what others think, and will lead you to find some original solutions to your problems. Additionally, studies have shown that the more independent a person is, the happier they feel! This happens because we feel a sense of relief and joy when we feel that we have life in our hands. Do you want to know how to be independent? Just follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Thinking for Yourself
Step 1. Accept yourself
You cannot build a strong and independent 'you' if you cannot accept yourself. Accept your body, personality, opinions, choices, preferences and life stories. Don't say things against yourself. Everyone can be strong enough. Everyone can tolerate something, demonstrating their strength. Leave mistakes behind and learn from them. Make an effort to be a better person and most of all love yourself!
This is an important part of being independent because by accepting yourself you will avoid trying to behave like someone else
Step 2. Believe in yourself
If you don't believe in yourself who should do it for you? We are all different and we all have something unique to say. Nobody can speak for you, and not everyone will agree with what you say; which is why it is important to remain yourself. Ultimately you are what you have, and if you believe in yourself that's all that matters. Believing in yourself will lead you to trust your own decisions even when they completely disagree with the expectations of someone else or society as a whole.
If you don't have confidence in yourself, you will always be inclined to judge yourself and turn to others for help whenever you need to make a decision. Get away from this mechanism
Step 3. Accept the world
Independent people are not vain, nor do they believe that the entire human race is cruel. Independent people are those who see the world, for its good and bad things, and consciously choose to be strong for themselves and for others. You are not independent because you do not trust anyone. You are independent because you have a high regard for yourself. Follow this advice: learn to accept things, and decide to be strong.
Accepting the world and all its complications will also help you understand that there are many ways you can live your life, no one is forcing you to conform to a specific way
Step 4. Become emotionally independent
The reality is that you depend on so many people for emotional support. It could be your parents, boyfriend or girlfriend, or a close friend. While it is possible to continue to depend on these people for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to understand that each of the people you depend on will one day be gone. Some will go away, others will stop talking to you and all will inevitably die one day. The only person who will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be disappointed.
Getting attached to some people throughout your life is okay, but you can't let these people determine your level of happiness. That is up to you
Step 5. Count on yourself to find motivation and motivation
Other people do not have and will never have the same sincere interest in your good. Success and motivation are a matter of habit. You have to lose the bad habit of putting off and start planning instead. Successful people aren't always the smartest, or the most charming. Regardless of other talents or gifts they are lucky enough to have, it is the people who support their self-esteem, who achieve conquests, large and small. This is how you learn everything in school, gain confidence in relationships and all other things in life.
- If your goal is to make a career, it must be to make yourself happy and not your parents. This concept is also applicable to your desire for good grades.
- Don't feel motivated to lose weight, publish a book, or build a house just to impress others. Do it because you want to lead yourself to success.
Step 6. Be your own hero
A model can inspire you and show you how to live your life. It is not wrong to identify someone who shares your values to deeply admire. However, at the end of the day, it is important to think of yourself as your own role model, and as a person who is capable of saying and doing whatever he wants. Aim to be yourself, and be the best yourself you can be. If you are unable to look at yourself with admiration, you cannot be independent.
Avoid idolizing friends or acquaintances in your social circle. Otherwise you will become even more inclined to forget to act for yourself
Step 7. Understand and accept that life is sometimes not fair
Our parents care about us so much that they do everything they can to raise us in a fair and honest environment. But the real world doesn't work that way, which is a big problem. The rules of the world today usually protect most (of which you may not be a part) of people who are rich or in power. You will be treated badly for so many unfair things: the color of your skin, your intelligence, height, weight, how much money you have, your opinions, sex, and anything else that characterizes you. You must be happy despite all of this.
Don't let the disparities of the world stop you from doing what you want. Are you a man and want to work as a nurse? Are you a woman and want to join the army? Do you want to be the first member of your family to graduate? Reach your goals instead of convincing yourself that today's world makes them unattainable
Step 8. Try not to care what others think
This is the most important thing about being independent. If you depend on others to know what music to listen to, what dress to wear, you will never be happy! If you like it, the rest doesn't matter! Stop worrying about how others judge your life, whether it's your clothing, career choice, or personal relationships. It's about your decisions, not someone else's.
If, in the back of your mind, you are haunted by some thoughts like, "But what will others think if …", you will always be inclined to hold back from doing things for yourself
Step 9. Don't just think you're the best; prove it to yourself
Your opinion is what matters most in your being motivated, and you know well when you are doing what is required by your goals. It is much better to face your responsibilities knowing, with an unshakable confidence in yourself, that you are really capable of handling what happens because you have done it before, rather than simply feeling comfortable doing it. The mere feeling of knowing how to master a situation does not take you far, but even giving up on yourself won't help you.
Step 10. Collect your information yourself
Watch and read the news and make sure you get your information from multiple sources. Collect data as often as possible and aim to always know both sides of each story before forming your own opinion. You can also talk to people from different backgrounds and backgrounds to learn more about a relevant topic, but never allow others to tell you what to think. Make it a goal to read as much as possible, whether it's literature or newspapers. Being well informed will avoid turning you into a mere follower and will lead you towards a more independent form of thinking.
You don't want to be a sheep and believe something just because your 50 closest friends on Facebook do the same
Part 2 of 3: Acting More Independently
Step 1. You don't have to get rid of your friends to be independent
Indeed your independence is strengthened by good friends. When your friends need to talk to someone, be there. Be trustworthy. Don't feed the gossip, don't tell others about their secrets or their personal stuff, even if they haven't told you anything. Be strong for your friends and those you love. Not only does this demonstrate your selflessness, it will also teach you to handle any situation that may arise, thanks to the experiences of your friends.
Step 2. Be financially independent
It will be difficult because parents have the natural instinct to provide for our needs. They just politely decline when they offer to help you financially. It's easy to be tempted to be financially dependent on others, but to feel what it means to be independent, you need to be independent. Secure your finances. Living independently is based on economic freedom. Pay your bills, drive your car, sign your rent check.
If you don't have the money for the expenses, start saving. Not only will you get financial freedom, but the money you save will give you the thrill of being independent and the incentive to improve
Step 3. Don't settle for it
Not at all. No comfort, ease, or "I did it to be nice". Work hard in everything you do. Stand up for your opinions. And, for girls who read, don't let a man feel like he needs to cuddle you. If you are capable of doing something good that has no negative effects, do it. This doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself, but you also don't have to think that others have to do things that you could easily do on your own.
Do your best and work hard to get people to say about you that you are "a person who does not depend on anyone to do things for her. A really strong and independent person"
Step 4. Leave friends and family at home
This is a difficult step in the adventure of living independently, but you have to start doing things on your own. You don't need to drive to the restaurant with someone, because you can meet right there. Go shopping alone, spend at least one or two evenings a week alone. Engage in activities that force you to be the leader, not follow others.
If you always have a friend by your side when you go for a hike or just go shopping, find out how it makes you feel out alone
Step 5. Get rid of negative influences in your life
Don't break friendships unless absolutely necessary. Learn to keep a safe distance. Even if these friends are 'super cool', they could keep you from doing it alone. "Clean your garden of weeds"; Some people help you emerge, while others prevent you from growing and depriving you of all energy. If a friend is trying to get you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, whether it's stealing or just being a meaner person, it's time to cut the cord.
Avoid those friends who like to build their own following and be surrounded by people who worship them. They just want you to do what they say and they will take you away from your desire to be independent
Step 6. Save some money
Save as much as possible. This will help you create an emergency fund, as life can sometimes be unpredictable. You can't predict accidents. Improve the quality of your life by saving money each month. There are things, like accidents, that can happen when you least expect it.
You may believe that you are unable to save money, but even small gestures, such as making your own coffee instead of buying it at the bar every day, can help you save tens of euros a month and hundreds a year
Step 7. Open a bank account
Most banks offer checking and savings accounts together in an affordable 'two in one' package. Some companies, institutions, and organizations require at least one checking account (some companies pay employees only by direct credit to the bank account). The money you make, which you don't need for spending, you should put in your savings account until you are ready to be independent.
Having your own bank account will prevent you from having to financially depend on others, and will help you spend your money more cautiously
Step 8. Start a career path
Experiment with different careers and find the one you like best. If money makes you happy, work at an investment bank or start your own business. If you like children, be a teacher. If you like being an expert, be a lawyer, professor, or consultant. If you like talking to people, be a salesman or work in the service industry. If understanding how things work is a game for you, try engineering, or psychology and sociology.
Most students end up doing work that has nothing to do with the course of their study. Some, on the other hand, stop attending school and become millionaires. Making your passion into a job is part of becoming a mature person
Step 9. Try to have a passion in life
Something you dedicate yourself to, be it sports, boyfriend / girlfriend, music, a band, art, dance, religion. Something you do constantly that takes your time. Playing with Barbie dolls or video games all day is not the thing to be dedicated to. (This also includes wasting time on the internet).
Finding a passion will make your life more meaningful and make you more inclined to know what you really want from life
Step 10. Plan your day around you
People who are too dependent on others let their life revolve around other people or other things. Plan your day around your schedule, make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do, and what you should have already done. If a friend really needs a favor, fine, but he won't let him dominate the plans you have so expertly prepared.
Treat the time you spend with yourself as if it were time spent on a date with Brad Pitt. That is, protect it carefully and do not allow anyone to interrupt the moments you dedicate to yourself
Step 11. Thank people for their help
To be independent, you don't need to be stubborn. If someone has really helped you, thank them by saying sincere words, writing them a note, or hugging them lovingly if it's a close friend. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help sometimes, and learning to recognize when asking for it won't make you any less independent.
Step 12. Avoid fads
Just because someone wants to pay 50 euros for a shirt doesn't mean you have to do it too. Dress as you wish and express what you want to express. If you like acting weird, do it absolutely! It is important to remember that taste and style do not necessarily have to be expensive, they are qualities that can be innate or learned and that with a little expertise are able to transform everything into something beautiful.
Step 13. Spend your time with people with different worldviews
Dating only to those who are like you will not inspire you to be more independent in any way. Making an effort to befriend many different people, with different perspectives and occupations, will provide you with a more complete view of life and show you that there is no right way to do things.
It might be invigorating to hang out with a lawyer when you're a yoga instructor, or spend time with a cook if you're a student. Doing so will help you open your mind and want to try something completely new yourself
Part 3 of 3: Make Your Way Around the World More Independently
Step 1. Learn to drive or use public transport
You will never be fully independent unless you learn to drive or move independently. How can you say that you are independent if you always depend on your partner, friends or parents to move around? (It is of course assumed that you have reached the age to be able to drive). If you live outside the city and need a car to get around, take life by the horns and get your driver's license, then be brave and get your own car.
- If you live in a big city, don't depend only on your legs or the weather or the passage of a friend, learn to use the subway, buses or trains.
- Dependence on other people to move around will force you to spend more time indoors or have others determine your fate for you. You should be able to do whatever you want - whenever you want.
Step 2. Do your own research instead of always asking others for help
Maybe you always use your dad's financial help, or you call your mom every five minutes to help you plan an event or wedding. Maybe you have a friend who always proves to be an expert in every possible field and is the person you turn to whenever you have to deal with a problem at work, with the car, with the TV, etc. Get in the habit of doing your research before asking these people for help if you really want to be more independent.
Having people to reach out to is great, but next time you pick up the phone, ask yourself, am I able to get this information myself? Most of the time the answer will be positive. Sure it will take longer, but think about the more rewarding it will be
Step 3. Learn to be good at home
Are you tired of having to resort to the intervention of a plumber, a technician, a house painter or even a trusted friend every time something is wrong at home? Build your skills by watching videos, reading helpful wikiHow guides, or browsing industry magazines. If you have a good friend who works as a carpenter ask him to give you some carpentry lessons. Learning to fix your things will save you a lot of money and take away the feeling of having to wait for someone else's intervention to improve your life.
Remember that knowing how to unblock a toilet quickly is much better than having to wait for someone else to do it
Step 4. Cook for yourself
Don't depend on street corner deli or supermarket ready meals. It is not necessary to be a master chef to feel master of the basic rules of cooking: how to sauté food, how to use an oven and how to prepare simple dishes like pasta, potatoes and salad. Knowing that you can go to the supermarket or market, buy a few ingredients, and assemble them into a delicious meal will make you feel like you can do anything on your own.
- If you become an excellent cook, you can also invite other people to enjoy the benefits of your skills.
- Learning to cook for yourself will not only make you more independent, it will save you a lot of money, another key to your independence.
Step 5. Learn how to make ends meet
Maybe your parents or partner are in charge of making ends meet for you, or maybe you just don't pay too much attention to them and tend to overspend. Whatever the current situation, you should always know the amount of money available to you each month or each week, and make a list of all your expenses so you can understand where you can cut costs.
Finding ways to save money will make you more independent because you will have more money to spend however you want
Step 6. Don't depend on your GPS to find the correct direction
Surely turning on the GPS or consulting a map on your smartphone can help you move from one place to another. But what if your GPS suddenly stopped working or led you to the wrong place or if your phone's battery lacks the necessary charge? How would you reach the goal? Before you go anywhere, make a mind map of where you are going and, if possible, print out paper directions to follow. Better yet, you know exactly where you are going so that you don't feel dependent on any external tools.
If you are on a long journey, surely a GPS can come in handy. But make sure you know where you are going anyway, rather than feeling completely oblivious and lost
Step 7. Get used to doing things yourself
A truly independent person doesn't need a friend to accomplish every little thing or to undertake every fun activity. Don't wait for a friend to be available to try a new restaurant in town or to see a new movie at the cinema. Give yourself a gift and go it alone, if you have opted for the cinema you will be amazed by the number of other people who, like you, have chosen to enjoy a film in solitude.
Attitude is the key. By showing yourself and feeling fully comfortable doing these things on your own, no one will ask questions about them
Step 8. Take things lightly
Rome was not built in a day, and no one is completely independent. This is not a categorical guide to be strictly adhered to. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. This guide is meant to be a way to teach you how to be independent, if you want to be.
