Being a strong and independent woman means being able to find happiness on your own and have confidence in your own means, without having to rely on another person or society to assert your worth. It means being emotionally independent and being able to have healthy relationships with people, without adopting codependent behaviors. It also means learning to express who you really are, whether you are a shy and compliant woman or an incisive and resolute woman. You don't have to try to adjust to a certain standard. Read on to learn how to assert your femininity and become the woman you've always wanted to be.
Steps
Part 1 of 6: Practice Assertiveness
Step 1. Put yourself first
When you need something, be it intimacy, affection, or attention, try to get it. If you need attention, give yourself a day. If you need intimacy, write a journal or explore nature. If you need affection, think about what you love about yourself, or "invited" to dinner and then to the cinema. If you are able to satisfy your emotional needs on your own, your relationships will be healthier, because you will know and understand each other better and will be able to express your wishes to your partner.
Step 2. Learn to recognize codependent attitudes
If you are codependent, your relationships could define your life. You may think obsessively about your partner and never make any decisions before asking for their opinion. Try to overcome codependency by paying attention to the following signs:
- Low self-esteem
- Be accommodating
- Don't respect personal boundaries
- Overreacting
- Having a tendency to be a "mom"
- Wanting to control your partner
- Communicating in a dysfunctional way
- Having obsessions
- Being addicted
- To deny the evidence
- Having intimacy problems
- Suffering emotionally.
Step 3. Don't compare yourself to other women
It's good to have a female role model to inspire you, but be careful not to be jealous of other women. Although jealousy is a natural sentiment to some extent, Western society tends to exacerbate female competitiveness through film and advertising messages that display unrealistic standards of beauty.
- This female jealousy and competitiveness is called "relational aggression". Studies have shown that the media are primarily responsible for women's relational aggression. Women who are victims of this trend often have low self-esteem and feel rejected and alone. The result is a culture where women feel insecure and unhappy in their own bodies.
- Know when you feel jealous. This is the first step in overcoming this feeling. If you find yourself reading a magazine and comparing your body to that of models, take a moment to remind yourself that: a) those women are paid to look like they are and many of them suffer from poor health from aspect that they must maintain; b) the camera adds weight to the portrayed figure, for this reason women who appear perfect in photography or on screens usually have a dry thinness in reality.
Step 4. Set clear boundaries, prioritizing your needs
For example, determine how much time you are willing to spend with a person, or the criticisms you don't like to hear. Make sure your life is not just about a romantic relationship, but also about school, work, friends, fitness and family.
Set clear boundaries with your partner and tell them that you need to assert your independence. After discussing these limits, stick to them
Step 5. Get respected
Like men, women also need to learn to fend for themselves in the real world if they don't want to be exploited. You will have to learn to be respected at school, at work and in social life. Make a commitment to be more assertive. Don't be ashamed to voice your needs and don't apologize when you do. Assertiveness is the middle ground between passivity and aggression.
- People who manage to be assertive have happier relationships and more self-esteem.
- Use first-person affirmations. These statements are less accusatory and show that you take responsibility for your actions and feelings. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me", you can say, "I feel ignored if you look at the phone when I talk to you."
- Learn to say no. Put your needs first instead of always trying to please others. For example, if someone asks you for money, you can decline their request. If a friend always asks you to lend him the car, you can tell her that you are no longer willing to do it.
Step 6. Believe in yourself
If you believe in your abilities and successes, you will transmit strength. Pursue your needs and desires. If you are unsure of yourself or if you play the victim, you will risk other people putting their feet on your head and you will not be able to get what you want.
Step 7. When a person hurts your feelings, express it clearly
If someone cheats on you, be sure to let them know. It can be difficult to share your emotions, especially when you are feeling hurt or angry. By telling the other person how you feel, you can prevent that behavior from happening again.
For example, you might say, "You hurt my feelings when you said you don't like my new haircut. I would really appreciate it if you didn't criticize my physical appearance anymore."
Step 8. Deal with offensive and disrespectful comments
If you hear a sexist, racist, or otherwise disrespectful comment, don't let it go. It doesn't mean you should start arguing, though. You can calmly tell the person that you didn't like what they said.
- "Please don't talk about other women like that"
- "Can we please avoid negative comments about other people?"
- "Why do you think so?"
Step 9. Appreciate your uniqueness and that of others
Try to feel compassion and happiness that each of us is special and talented in our own way, including yourself! Every woman has the best characteristics, be it her math skills, her painting prowess or the ability to be a leader. Appreciate the skills and resources you have and love for them.
If you think someone has talent, let them know
Part 2 of 6: Taking Control of Your Sexuality
Step 1. Honor your sexuality
Almost all women, sooner or later, meet a person who wants to take advantage of them sexually. It is important to learn how and when to say no to a person who makes unwanted advances to you. Don't leave sexual assaults unpunished. One in five women and one in 71 men are victims of rape in their lifetime.
If someone takes you by force, you absolutely have to tell someone. Society has taught women to feel ashamed or embarrassed after receiving harassment or assault, even going so far as to claim that some women "wanted it." Going unpunished with a sex crime teaches the abuser that what he did was legitimate and that he can do it again in the future
Step 2. Try to feel more comfortable with your body
Many women are not happy with their physical appearance, especially when they are naked. It can be difficult to be more confident in your appearance, but try to focus on the parts of the body you appreciate. Think about the different parts of the body and how perfect they are on you.
- Focus less on how your body looks, and more on what it is capable of doing.
- To get familiar with your body, caress it with your hands. Find out what pleases you and do it. Become your own lover.
- If your partner criticizes your appearance, assert your opinion by telling him that his comments are not helpful to you.
Step 3. Communicate your needs to your partner
In moments of intimacy, clearly communicate your wishes to your partner. To love yourself and honor your sexuality, you need to tell your partner what you value and what is forbidden to do.
- You can say, "I like it when you touch me there", or "I like it when we cuddle up after having sex".
- If there is something that makes you uncomfortable, communicate it.
Step 4. Report sexual harassment cases at work or school
You shouldn't be doing this just for your own good; you could also prevent the same person from harassing someone else in the future.
Part 3 of 6: Taking Care of Your Health
Step 1. Get enough physical activity
Staying fit allows you to improve your overall health, mood and energy levels and, as a result, perform better in all aspects of life. Regular exercise can also help prevent heart problems, cancer and diabetes, and can also be helpful in managing chronic ailments such as asthma or back pain.
- Each of us is different, so be sure to ask your doctor what fitness levels are right for you.
- It is not necessary to become an Olympic athlete to be in good shape. Go for a run around your neighborhood, take the dog for a walk, or ride a bike. Gardening can also be good exercise.
Step 2. Eat healthy and nutritious foods
A healthy diet can help prevent disease and improve mood and energy levels. Each of us is different and has their own dietary needs. Talk to your doctor or professional nutritionist to develop a diet that's right for you.
As a general rule, eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Eat whole grains and proteins. Avoid processed and fried foods and limit refined sugars
Step 3. Get enough sleep
Sleep deprivation can affect your health and mood. Try to get at least eight to seven hours of sleep a night to be fully efficient every day.
Step 4. Assess your health
Personal strength manifests itself physically, mentally and emotionally. If you want to be a strong and independent woman, the answer is within you. Men and women face different health risks and challenges due to their biological differences.
- In addition to biological differences, there are differences given simply by being women. For example, up until a few years ago, almost all clinical trials were conducted using only male patients. In the case of ailments or diseases that present differently between the two sexes (such as heart attack, for example), medical research was unable to correctly define the symptoms for women. Fortunately, researchers today take this problem into account and increasingly use women as patients for their studies. Now that this information is known, strong, independent women need to use it!
- Visit your doctor regularly. Make sure you tell him about all your health concerns.
Part 4 of 6: Managing Your Finances
Step 1. Always be aware of your income
If you want to be truly independent, you need to be able to support yourself, so you don't have to rely on other people. Spend your money wisely and avoid unnecessary and frivolous spending. When evaluating your income, be sure to consider the amounts due for taxes and social security, as well as the amounts you decide to save.
Take a money management course. You can also find material to learn the basics online
Step 2. Check your bank statements regularly
Make sure you keep your accounts, too, so that you can recognize any errors.
Compare your financial statements with your monthly statements to make sure there are no discrepancies
Step 3. Spend following the right priorities
The main priority should be basic necessities, such as food, shelter and clothing. Designer clothes, concert tickets and holidays should be considered luxuries. Learn to consider needs and luxuries differently.
- Establish a budget for the necessary expenses.
- Set aside about 10/20% of your income.
Step 4. Don't be afraid to ask for a raise
Women ask for raises more rarely than men, and when they do, they typically ask for less money than men. Remember your training to be more assertive and don't be afraid to ask for the raise you deserve.
Part 5 of 6: Following Your Passions
Step 1. Study what you like
Don't let society's norms influence your field of study. Society often pushes women into some areas (languages, arts, teaching, nursing and other "support" jobs), and men into others, such as science, math and technology.
- More and more schools are encouraging women to pursue careers in science, because the number of women in these fields is very limited, although interest is not lacking. If you are passionate about physics, don't be afraid! If computers make you happy, learn all you can about technology. Don't let conventional gender roles interfere with your desires.
- Follow your passions. If you love music, try to become an artist. If you love math, look for a job in that area.
Step 2. Keep learning throughout your life
Remember that education does not have to be formal (i.e. given by an institution such as a university). Stay up to date on politics, science and technology, read books (fictional or otherwise), learn another language, watch documentaries and so on. Try to learn new topics throughout your life.
Step 3. Find your personal style
Being an independent woman means dressing however you like, regardless of what other people think or say. Use fashion to express your mood, your taste and your creativity.
- Many times throughout history, women's fashion choices have been dictated by the social and cultural norms of a period. In some eras, ultra-tight corsets were the norm and it was almost forbidden for women to wear trousers. Today we live in an age where women have much more freedom of choice on their clothing. Take advantage of this freedom!
- When deciding what to wear, you should consider your build as well as your personal taste.
Part 6 of 6: Contributing to the community
Step 1. Be selfless
One of the best ways to use your strength is to give something to people less fortunate than you. You don't need to be rich or influential to have a positive impact in your community, so start small. In a 2010 study on volunteering and solidarity within the community it was found that, of the people who participated, 68% improved their health, 89% felt happier and more people. better, and 73% noticed a reduction in stress levels compared to those who had not contributed in any way to the community.
Step 2. Consider volunteering in your community
Non-profit organizations welcome volunteers and supporters with open arms. Find the areas you are most passionate about, such as animals, art, children, sports, etc. Choose a course you love and where you can make a difference.
- For example, volunteer at a soup kitchen, animal shelter, or other community-supported organization.
- Do thorough research on the entities you choose, some organizations are not what they appear to be.
Step 3. Perform acts of kindness
You don't have to become a real volunteer to give something to the community. If you see someone in need of help, give them a hand. Even the smallest acts of kindness can lift a person's spirits. For example, help an elderly woman who needs to carry groceries, or keep the door open for someone.
Step 4. Educate other women and girls to be strong and independent
Teach them how to do it and become a role model to be inspired by.
Mentor a women's association in your community. For example, you could help a young girl who plays a sport you enjoy, or help a girl who has just finished high school prepare for college
Advice
- Finding a strong female figure to inspire you can guide you along the path that will lead you to feel more independent. This woman could be a member of your family, an artist, a political figure, or a suffragist.
- Love and respect yourself. Normally what we offer to the universe comes back. It's all about karma, so be careful what you choose to offer.
