Does the neighbor's dog bark between 3 and 5 in the morning? On weekends, their teen's blaring music makes your windows rattle and their trash always ends up in your garden somehow? The ideal is to find an effective, but not aggressive, method to deal with disrespectful neighbors; for this reason, he begins to politely ask them to be more aware of such behavior. If good manners do not lead to any results, you will have to move to drastic measures, such as calling a lawyer or the police. Read on to learn more.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Solving Specific Problems
Step 1. Inform the neighbors of what's going on
You are well aware of your discomfort, but if you have never mentioned it to these people, chances are they will not even realize that their behavior is bothering you. While you sit there grumbling and preparing to explode with anger, the neighbors simply lead their usual life. Don't assume they are willfully rude. Go knock on their door, introduce yourself, and tell them about the problem.
- Be polite but firm in your requests. Ask exactly what you want instead of being vague and hoping they will guess. It is unwise to expect others to be able to read your mind and know your limitations; you have to ask for what you want.
- Be willing to compromise. Although you are very happy that you no longer hear their child while practicing with the tuba, it is not possible to ask the neighboring family to insulate their garage with sound absorbing material. Explain your discomfort, so that neighbors are more likely to be understanding; for example, tell them that noise keeps you awake when you want to sleep. You are more likely to be able to resolve the situation if you approach these people by describing the problem and showing that you are willing to agree, rather than accusing them and demanding specific behavior.
Step 2. Make written communication only when necessary
If you can't meet the neighbors, you can leave a note or write an email to let them know about the problem. However, it could be risky behavior, because written notes are easily misunderstood as passive-aggressive messages. That said, if you can't meet this family in person, sometimes a written letter remains the best option. Most people will feel a little embarrassed and change their behavior to accommodate your requests.
- Remember to use a friendly tone. Tell them that you would like to find a solution that works for everyone.
- If it doesn't make you uncomfortable to put your phone number in the note and ask neighbors to call you, you can. This allows them to ask you questions and immediately clear up any doubts.
Step 3. Choose your battles
Don't give neighbors an endless list of problems you want them to solve; this approach doesn't work. Try to understand what you are willing to accept, what needs to change, and only present to the neighboring family the situations that really drive you crazy. Once the main problem has been ironed out, you can deal with the details later or learn to live with it.
Remember that the behaviors that create you the most discomfort are not necessarily the easiest ones for neighbors to change. If they tell you they are having a hard time solving a particular problem, consider asking them for something simpler
Step 4. Offer your help
Based on the requests you submit, you could make your interlocutor more available to you by making your help available. For example, if you love having a clean, tidy garden and are tired of seeing theirs full of weeds all summer, offer to take care of their lawn.
- While this is an issue you can't solve on your own, simply being available makes your neighbors more likely to accommodate your requests. For example, if they cannot take the car to the mechanic to repair the broken muffler because they need the means of transport all day, propose that they accompany them to the workshop and then to the office with your car or go to run errands for them while they wait for the car to be repaired.
- Don't offer money or hire other people to do the work for them. Many people take offense when it is suggested that they cannot afford to solve their problems.
Step 5. In both cases, monitor the situation
Give neighbors enough time to change their behavior; a few days are enough for minor tasks, but for demanding ones - for example, arranging the appearance of the house - more patience will be required. If you realize they have made no effort to accommodate your needs, return to them for a polite reminder. If, on the other hand, they have taken care of your requests, thank them, bring them a small gift or something home-cooked, in this way they will be even more happy to have satisfied you.
- The next time an "accident" happens, stop and think about the correct reaction you should have. If they keep blasting the music every night, it's time to complain again. If they have been silent for several weeks and are now throwing a birthday party, put earplugs on and allow them to make a noise for once.
- Afterwards, keep the communication open, even if only for a nod or a greeting. If you become an easily forgotten presence who only appears to complain about some problem, the neighbors will not be inclined to listen to you.
Step 6. Get help from the rest of the neighborhood
This is a good thing to do if the "bad" neighbors are not showing signs of change. If there is behavior that is bothering you, it is likely that other families on the block or condominium will also suffer. Talk to them to see if they want to sign a letter addressed to the disrespectful one. Unity is strength and being approached by a group of people instead of a single individual will cause the neighbor "harasser" to change his behavior.
This does not mean that you and other families need to surround and invade this person's home or apartment - it could get out of hand and be perceived as a threat. Even a group email could be interpreted as a factional war
Part 2 of 3: Mending Relationship with Disrespectful Neighbors
Step 1. Respect the rules of good neighborliness yourself
Make sure you don't do anything that might annoy others before complaining. You don't have to make the situation even more tense by being too critical or tactless, especially if there's no good blood between you.
Make sure you don't bother the neighbors yourself. If you don't want them to listen to music at 3am, you and your friends next door shouldn't do the same
Step 2. Warn them in advance
If you are planning an evening with friends, you will not be able to take care of the garden for a while or you expect a situation to arise that could annoy the neighbors, let them know. Have a short conversation about this and leave them your phone number in case there are any problems. It's amazing how a situation goes from "intolerable" to "no problem" just because you took the time to anticipate it.
Step 3. Give your neighbors the benefit of the doubt
Just like all people, the family in the apartment next door has their problems too, although you can't see them. For example, he may have some difficulty finding the time to recognize and manage the needs of others. Don't fall into the same trap.
Step 4. Get to know them better
Are you and your neighbors complete strangers to each other or do you know each other well? It's much harder to worry about someone you've never met, and resentment grows fast when people don't make the effort to build relationships. The best way to get what you want - some peace and quiet on the weekends, for example - is to build neighborhood relationships in ways that understand each other's needs better and be more considerate. You don't have to become good friends, but consider yourselves as good starting points to increase neighborhood friendliness.
- Why not invite them for lunch? Ask them to come to you to eat in the garden on a summer day or to have a hearty breakfast on Saturday morning. Get to know each other better before making any requests.
- If inviting them to your home is too big a step for you, you can show up at their home with a bottle of wine or some homemade cookies to introduce yourself.
Step 5. Improve neighborhood relationships
If you really want to mend relationships with the families who live next to you, start planting flowers in a bare flowerbed, ask the Municipality to solve the safety problems on your street or organize a collection of abandoned waste. Inform the whole block and make sure all the neighbors feel involved in the project.
Part 3 of 3: Taking Drastic Measures
Step 1. Use these techniques only as a last resort
These are drastic measures that bring results only after a long time and that precipitate neighborly relations. They are only suitable for those people who have been openly hostile, who continue to behave in a disrespectful and rude manner, without showing any willingness to change despite your requests or who do you serious harm. You will have to live near these people for some time; he therefore carefully assesses the situation before turning a disagreement into a feud.
Step 2. Document the problem you are facing, if it violates local or rental agreement laws
If you're tired of politely complaining to your neighbors and they don't take care of the matter, it's time to move on to more effective solutions. If you plan to involve the authorities, start documenting what's going on for evidence in the future. Take photographs of damage to your property, record videos of parties where garbage ends up in your garden after midnight, save the emails and communications you send to this family, and so on. Basically, collect any evidence that shows that neighbors are violating your property or engaging in other illegal activities.
You should inform the neighborhood of what you are doing. Knowing that you have taken the hard line may be the motivation to stop certain uncivilized behavior
Step 3. Consider calling the landlord
If you live in an apartment building, it may be time to get the owner or manager involved. Call him and tell him what the neighbors do, how they disturb the peace of your home. Based on the type of infringement committed, the owner will be able to decide whether there is a basis for an eviction. At a minimum, the landlord should take charge of talking to disrespectful neighbors, so that you don't have to constantly complain.
Use common sense and also evaluate the situation based on your previous relationships with the homeowner; some hate having to intervene in disputes between tenants and may be upset about your phone call
Step 4. Check if they are breaking any laws
If rude neighbors continue their way of life undeterred, try to figure out if you can take legal action. Learn about municipal regulations and see if these people are violating any of them. If so, you can also move in this direction. Here's what you can consider:
- Infringement of private property.
- Damage to private property.
- Loud noises.
- Public peace disturbance for dog barking.
- Read about home decor and maintenance.
Step 5. Call the police or another authority
This and the next steps fall into the "last resort" category. Relations with neighbors can no longer be recovered if you proceed. Involving the police is one way to shock these people and force them to change, but don't use law enforcement as mediators of your personal disputes.
- If the music is too loud, call the nearest police station, not the emergency number.
- If the problem is poor maintenance of the garden, call the neighbors association (if applicable), the city police or the local ASL if you think there are any dangers to public health. Many municipalities issue regulations on urban decor, which the city police must enforce.
Step 6. Tell neighbors that you are about to take legal action
When you have assessed that their behavior violates the law and have gathered enough evidence, let them know that you plan to do so. Don't give them too many details, just say they will be sued if they are not willing to compromise. In all likelihood they have no desire to get entangled in legal matters, so let them know that you are also ready for this type of solution to get them to change.
Step 7. Talk to an attorney to find out about your options
If you want your words to be followed by facts, call a lawyer and figure out what you can do. You need to decide whether the concerns and costs of legal action are worth addressing in order to resolve the issue and then open a dispute. If you've determined that the only way to go is the law, work with your lawyer to sue the neighbors and potentially take them to court.
If you do not achieve the desired results, you can reach an agreement with the landlord and decide to terminate the lease in a legal manner. If you have already warned him of the situation and he has not done anything to resolve it, he obviously does not come out with his head held high and may allow you to withdraw from the contract - especially if you have involved a lawyer. But consider compromising instead of spending time, money in court, and being dragged into a situation you don't want
Advice
- Check the municipal regulations on the website of your city, they are sometimes published in the section dedicated to regulations. Thanks to the ordinances issued by the City, you can call the police to enforce the laws regarding blocked sidewalks, dog droppings and so on.
- Don't be afraid to contact the authorities. You will not be considered a spy if the situation disturbs most of the neighborhood.
- Build a fence if pets are a problem that will keep them off your property. If your neighbors garden looks awful, install a 1.2m high non-transparent fence.
Warnings
- Always stay on your property, because invading your neighbors' property will only provoke them. It is legal to go up to the front door, but there is no access to the private courtyard.
- The most important thing you should never do is to threaten the neighbors, this behavior makes the situation worse, keep your considerations to yourself.
