Man is a social animal and for this reason we are forced to live in community. However, in densely populated areas, we don't always have the option to choose our neighbors. Whether you live in an apartment building or a large house in the country, you can always find a neighbor who violates your privacy. To resolve the situation in the best way, do it quickly and politely.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Assess the Situation
Step 1. Consider the problem
To deal with an intrusive neighbor, you need to fully understand the situation. Ask yourself the following questions:
- How long has the problem been going on?
- How many of your neighbors are pushy?
- Do you live in a neighborhood where everyone behaves like this?
- How long do you plan to live in this area?
Step 2. Look for repeating patterns in your neighbor's intrusive behavior
Does it bother you at certain precise moments? It may be more curious on weekends, weekdays, or evenings. Maybe the problem arises from some event in his life, or he is interested in something that happens to you. Maybe he wants to know more about your children, your guests, or the work you are doing in the garden.
Step 3. Consider the reasons why your neighbors are so pushy
Try to understand their motives. If you think they are too curious, they have probably violated your privacy in some way; however, there must be a reason behind their behavior. Maybe they are just nosy, but they may also have legitimate concerns that prompt them to ask a lot of questions.
- Have they just moved and are just trying to understand the culture of the neighborhood?
- Are they looking to have fun at your expense?
- Do you do anything suspicious, exciting, or intriguing that can make them particularly curious?
Step 4. Talk to your neighbor
Try to gather as much information about him as possible without exposing yourself too much. This will help you figure out if there is a malicious intent behind his questions, if he is being pushy just to pass the time, or if he has just moved out and is just trying to make friends.
Step 5. Decide how to deal with the situation
You can choose to comfort your neighbor, avoid him or even become friends with him.
- If he seems lonely and bored, for example, you've noticed that he's pushy just because he's trying to bond with someone, try talking to him, introducing him to other neighbors, and suggesting fun activities to do.
- If your neighbors are pushy, but you prefer not to confront them in person, try to find ways to avoid their curiosity. If they are always watching you, build a fence or do activities around the house; if they approach you directly and ask you a lot of personal questions, think about how to avoid conversations.
- If your neighbors are snooping where they shouldn't, such as stealing your belongings or suing you for illegal activities, you can improve your home's security system, as well as ask to stop intrusions. If the situation becomes dangerous for your family or property, don't hesitate to contact the authorities.
Method 2 of 3: Avoid Intrusive Neighbors
Step 1. Prove yourself superior
Don't stoop to their level. Continue to take care of your things, regardless of the attitude of your neighbors and with serenity. Don't be rude and don't make threats. If an elderly neighbor has nothing better to do than watch what you do all day, he is wasting his time and not you.
Step 2. Pretend to listen to music
If you're busy and don't have time to tolerate other people's curiosity, pretend you're listening to songs on your phone or MP3 player. Put headphones on when walking around common areas such as hallways, accessories and patios; all the places where you might meet your neighbors. This invites them not to bother you - they will notice that you are not available and will turn to easier targets.
- For best results, wear headphones that are large enough to be seen from a distance. If someone were to approach you before noticing the earbuds, they would probably say what they have to say anyway.
- Some people are incorrigible and will even go so far as to ask you questions despite having headphones on.
Step 3. Pretend to answer the phone
To do this, you need to set silent mode and turn off vibration. When the person you want to avoid approaches, hold your cell phone to your ear and pretend it's an important call. Don't forget to smile and nod as you speak - this gives the impression that you are not trying to ignore your neighbor, but that you are simply too busy. You can say:
- "Yes, yes, I'll finish it in time; I'll send it to you in the morning."
- "How's the report going? I heard there were some problems."
- "There was a manufacturing defect that we were trying to correct."
- You can simply toggle between "Yes, yes …", "Mhm, mhm" and "Oh, ok" in your fake phone call. This is the best choice if you can't think of anything convincing at the moment.
Step 4. Don't stay where your neighbors can see you
Move to the back garden or choose another location where they won't find you. This may work for some activities, such as having a barbecue or playing ball with your child away from the eyes of your neighbors, but it is not a permanent solution. It is just a technique to avoid the problem.
- If your neighbor is extremely pushy, he may find a way to snoop around in your affairs despite attempts to avoid it. Hiding in the backyard might work once or twice, but be prepared for the possibility that her behavior may get worse in the future.
- If you lead your life trying to avoid the neighbors, allow them to control you. If the problem is that bad for you, consider talking to them directly or ignoring them. Spending all of your mental energy trying to escape someone can be really tiring.
Step 5. Pretend you are doing nothing
This gives your neighbors one less reason to observe you. If they always ask you what you do and why you do it, the simplest solution is to do nothing. Try hard to look uninteresting. Resume your chores when they leave.
Remember that if you seem to have nothing to do, some people may consider it an invitation to approach and have a conversation. If in doubt, it's probably best to avoid your neighbors or talk to them directly rather than waiting for them to leave
Step 6. Increase security
This can be a wise choice if you think your neighbors are snooping around your property. Always keep your front door locked. If you go on vacation, install an anti-theft system or video cameras. Ask someone you trust to check your home when you're not around, in case the pushy person tries to mind your business. Consider getting a guard dog.
- Be aware that depending on the situation in your neighborhood, this strategy can approach paranoia. It is possible that your neighbors actually sneak into your property when you are not there, but maybe you just have a bad opinion of them.
- If you really suspect that your neighbors are entering your property without your permission, address them directly and ask them to stop doing so. Warn them that next time, you won't hesitate to call the police.
Step 7. Come up with a codename for them
For example, you can call them "shop" or "spiders". That way, just use the word to warn your family to behave in a certain way, whether it's everyone retreating to the back garden or starting to make a lot of noise.
Step 8. Build a fence
If you want your neighbors to stop watching you, you can install a fence between your properties. Consult your local laws on this type of protection. For example, if you want to build a network on the dividing line of your properties, you may need permission from your neighbor. Make sure you are not building on soil owned by him or you would give him one more reason to intrude on your life.
- If you have dogs or small children, you already have a great excuse to build a fence around your property. You can simply say that you don't want to risk the dog running away somewhere.
- If you don't like the idea of a fence, you can plant a hedge, bushes or trees. However, keep in mind that these natural barriers take years to grow.
- Consider whether you really want to isolate yourself from the outside world just because your neighbors are pushy. Building a fence can solve your problems, but it can also stimulate the creativity of nosy people.
Step 9. Behave in an elusive and disarming way
If your neighbor goes outside, re-enter the house and leave after 5 minutes. Greet him vigorously and say "Hi, how are you?". Ask him if he can lend you some sugar or the lawn mower. If you keep asking for favors, he may be the one to start avoiding you.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Intrusive Neighbors
Step 1. Silence their intrusive questions
If a neighbor asks you a lot of personal questions, explain that he or she is making you uncomfortable. The next time this happens, give him a dry reply, like "It's not something I want to talk to you about." Look at him and show him that you are serious, then walk away. If all goes to plan, he will understand the message and stop bothering you.
- This approach is brusque and direct. It can give you the desired result, but it can also offend your neighbor.
- Be aware that pushy neighbors don't always try to annoy you. Maybe they ask you questions because they are genuinely curious and maybe they don't have the tact or the social skills to understand what the questions are too personal. Show your empathy, but don't accept any behavior that violates your privacy.
- If you've asked your neighbor to stop asking questions, but he continues, you need to take more drastic steps to address the problem.
Step 2. Pluck it in fragrant
If a neighbor is in the habit of spying on you, catch him in the act and tell him something that embarrasses him. Inform all the people who are with you of your intentions without attracting attention, then suddenly exclaim: "Hello Mr. Rossi, are you having fun?". See how his face turns red. If he denies his behavior, just ignore him and move on with your life. If his attitude recurs, talk to him privately and politely ask him to stop.
Make jokes about his attitude. Try saying "Now don't go spying on me!" and he may realize he's too pushy and even stop bothering you
Step 3. Reveal irrelevant information to your neighbor and then respond with a question about him
If he asks you ten times a day "Marco, man, how are you?", For once you can say "Good" or "I'm just taking the dog out". This is an uninteresting answer, which leaves no room for further study. At that point he continues with "What about you?". This can come as a surprise to many pushy people who don't like the idea of you snooping into their life. If, on the other hand, your neighbor isn't nosy and just wants to get to know you better, this is a great way to break the ice.
Step 4. Respond to your neighbors' behavior by annoying them in turn until they leave you alone
Clap your hands hard in the garden, blast music or light up the communal courtyard with spotlights. If they have a habit of observing what you do, these activities can irritate them and persuade them to return indoors.
- Be careful not to start a war. Making the situation escalate may not be the right solution to keep your neighbors away, as this can lead to them being even more intrusive. Think carefully before you act and evaluate if they are competitive people. Remember: you have to live next to them.
- Keep in mind that if you start annoying your neighbors, especially by making a lot of noise, give them an excuse to call the brigade. For police officers, "who started" doesn't matter.
Step 5. Consider informing the authorities
If your neighbors get too pushy, the only solution may be to contact the local police. If they really bother you, you can ask for a restraining order. If you find them sneaking into your property and stealing your belongings, contact the police so you don't have to deal with the situation alone.
