And so you found that you have the problem of turning people away, regardless of the situation or the reason. Well done! You are on the right track to understand and resolve the issue. Usually the problem lies in self-confidence and self-esteem. As with any problem, knowing that it exists is the first and most difficult step to overcome it. You are here, which is great, so let's move on.
Steps
Step 1. Find out the REASON why you are truly alienating a person
Close your eyes and visualize the person in your head, listen to yourself. How do you feel when you see this person's face? Threatened? Nervous? Reveal the feeling you carry inside.
Step 2. Most of the time, people turn others away because of an underlying problem with themselves
This is usually a matter of trust that is commonly found in relationships. If you have been hurt in the past, it is understandable that you are wary of letting another person approach you like this again. The thought might sound ridiculous. As difficult as it may seem, you will RETURN to trust. You will overcome negative feelings and overcome them to be the person you are, strong and confident.
Step 3. Talk to someone; it is an IMPORTANT step to open yourself up
It's simple, comfortable, and incredibly enjoyable. You don't have to go into detail; Simply getting rid of some feelings can be a great help and can help you realize that you are not alone with your feelings.
Step 4. CARE FOR YOURSELF
Focus on positive thoughts whenever you feel down in the dumps; make a list of the things that make you special and extraordinary. I bet you can write down more than you think. Also, ask someone else to write a thing or two; this will give you a feeling of self-worth.
Step 5. Realize that not everyone will hurt you
Sure someone will, but if you don't give yourself the chance to get close to anyone, think about all the opportunities you miss out on. The things you haven't considered in the least: shopping with girls you wouldn't dare talk to for fear of disliking them, dating the guy you thought was too good for you. There are people out there who appreciate you and love you for who you are.
Step 6. If you feel like you can't face the world today, do what we all do best
BLUFFA! Put a big smile on your face, even when you feel like crying. Self-confidence is the sexiest thing ever, even when it's faked. Repeat positive mantras in your head such as: I am strong and I can achieve anything. YOU WILL START to believe it.
Step 7. Exit
Seize all opportunities and start taking risks. It will help build your confidence and get you to meet as many people as possible.
Advice
- Remember, if someone cares enough for you to still stick around after you try to push them away, that circumstance says a lot more about this person than others who have left.
- Take some time for yourself; take a long bath, read a book, listen to music and take care of yourself.
- Fight the urge to turn people away. Delete this thought and replace it with something positive about the person.
- If you don't like talking about your problems with others, try talking to yourself in front of the mirror or keeping a journal to help you understand your feelings towards other people.
- Tell yourself every day that you are a fantastic person and, if not immediately, you will still begin to believe it.
- Explain your feelings to a counselor or your parents or someone you can trust. Tell them why you push people away. Involve those closest to you so that they can help you.
- Stop being so skeptical / critical. Take some time, as slowly as you like, to get to know someone.
- Talk to others, open up, no matter how difficult it is.
- Adopt this mantra: What's the worst that can happen?
