Sometimes things go wrong. There are times when it is accidental. There are times when someone else is to blame. But the times when you know that you are to blame for the problem, the mature and responsible thing to do is to stand up and admit your mistake, accept the consequences and participate in solving the problem that resulted from your mistake.
Steps
Step 1. Step forward and confess as soon as you realize what went wrong
Waiting to see the repercussions of your mistake is a bad idea. As soon as things start to go wrong, step forward and point out where the problem started - with you. The sooner the problem is identified the sooner it can be solved and this minimizes the consequences.
Step 2. Don't try to avoid the question
This means that you should point out the problem directly, clearly and simply, rather than beating around the bush or trying to confuse the situation so that you seem less responsible. Again, when problems arise, the quickest way to solve them is to directly identify their origin and details. Trying to get around the problem is just frustrating and it eventually takes longer to fix and the situation ends up getting even more complicated.
Step 3. Don't try to deflect any part of the blame
This doesn't mean you should accept blame you don't deserve. But saying things like "Well if he hadn't done this then I wouldn't have done that" is pathetic. Instead, it's better to say “I'm so sorry about what happened. I had no idea I could cause this kind of problem. How can I help to solve it?"
Step 4. Realize that the truth will sooner or later be discovered
It has been said, and generally true, that "the truth is only a shortcut to what will happen anyway". If you are present when the truth comes out and have not confessed your participation in the problem, your credibility for all future situations will be terribly compromised. When others realize that you have had the last clear chance to step forward and admit that mistake, but instead you have allowed them to share your blame, they will not appreciate it at all. By the time your boss realizes you've allowed others to take responsibility for your mistake, your days will be numbered, or at the very least, your career prospects will be significantly reduced.
Step 5. Trust in the help of others
Hopefully you have good parents, a partner or a good manager; or that, if you go to school, your teacher is right. Assuming your boss is a good boss (or whatever authority figure is at stake) is the smartest guess to make in this case. The reality is that the person who has authority over you is the same person who can protect you better than anyone else, but if you don't admit that you caused the problem, there will be no shield when, eventually, the truth comes out. If it is a work situation and you go to your boss as soon as you realize what happened, he / she can help you more than you expect. Trusting in your boss's help to get out of a difficult situation can even pay off later - confessing, you just proved to your boss that when you are truly responsible for a problem you come forward and say it. If problems arise in the future and all the clues point to you, if you say, "No, it wasn't me", your boss will believe you - he / she will know that you are mature enough to admit your mistakes, because the you have already done in the past.
Step 6. Help solve the problem. Once you've created a problem, don't wait to be forced or pushed to fix it - volunteer
Don't ask "if" you can help - ask "how" you can help. Look closely at how those who help most work and take note of how they resolve the issue. Store this information in your memory and keep it handy for future use.
Step 7. Explain
Once the shoot is underway, you should try to explain what you thought the process was, so that your boss, partner, or parent can figure out what brought you to the point where things went wrong. Many times, after you have explained your considerations, others will say, “Well, it makes sense to some extent, however…” So you will allow them to help you correct the way you think about the future.
Be careful not to justify your mistake or your behavior. Notice the difference between these two statements: "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but I didn't sleep well." (justification) versus "I've been tense lately because I can't sleep well, but I was wrong to scream at you and I'm sorry." Learn to apologize correctly
Step 8. Accept the consequences
There might be - that's why it's scary to step forward and admit responsibility. But taking the blame right away and helping to resolve the problem will make the penalty or punishment less harsh. Accept your punishment as boldly as possible and when it is all over, it will be over for real - you will have learned your lesson and in the process you will have maintained your personal integrity.
Step 9. Repair with elegance
It's not the mistakes that define us - it's the repair. Most customers, when asked about them, will say that their most reputable suppliers and sellers weren't perfect, but, when they made a mistake, they made up for it by admitting responsibility and offering a hefty discount or free replacement or job discount. future in exchange for the inconvenience caused by their error. It's not the mistake - it's the way you react that matters to most people.
Step 10. Keep your head up and move on
Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes. If we're smart, we learn from our mistakes and remember them so we don't repeat them. Learning from your experiences is the most painful way, but often also the most valuable. Remember that your mistake was just that: a mistake - it wasn't intentional, you didn't do it to deliberately harm or cheat someone. And as soon as you realized that you caused the problem, you intervened, ready to help everyone out of the situation you put them in. You can keep your head up and feel good knowing that you have done your best to help everyone recover while avoiding worse consequences.
Advice
- You don't have to care about certain things. Smaller mistakes can be handled simply by saying “Oh. It's my fault. I'm sorry." And the other can say, “Oh, come on, that's fine. But next time I want you to do that, ok?”. If you mount a big hysterical scene, then all the attention will be on calming and reassuring you, thus stealing time from solving the problem.
- People make mistakes. It is better to accept it than to ignore it because of your ego. Mistakes help us grow and learn. If we don't make mistakes then we don't grow, we don't learn and we don't reconcile.
- Don't imagine that your boss, parent or teacher will think the worst of you if you make a mistake. By admitting your mistakes right away, you'll earn their respect, it won't lead them to think badly of you. It's pretty much guaranteed that they too have made a mistake or two along the way.
Warnings
- Be prepared to accept the negative consequences. Being mature enough to admit a mistake means being mature enough to accept punishment if the mistake is big enough to deserve it. Yet it's better to accept punishment for a mistake you were able to quickly correct than to accept punishment for something that went so wrong that the repercussions will be felt for years - your boss won't appreciate it, so confess and handle the issues before they get to that point is definitely the best option.
- It may not be safe to admit a mistake to abusive people who may scream or physically attack you. If you are with an abusive person seek help from a trusted source and get out of that situation immediately if possible.
