Have you finally managed to find the courage to confess to a friend how you feel about her, but unfortunately she doesn't reciprocate your feelings? It is already very difficult to accept rejection from a stranger, but from a friend it can become truly devastating. Fortunately, you can learn to accept disappointment and move on with your life. Your ego may have taken a bad hit, so start dealing with your emotions and boosting your self-esteem. Afterward, try to repair the relationship with the person who rejected you.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Coping with Your Emotions
Step 1. Stop before reacting negatively
If you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the other person, don't let emotions guide your behavior. Rejection can make you feel anger, embarrassment, and pain. Don't react on impulse and don't take your frustration out on your friend.
Before adding anything else, take a couple of deep breaths to find peace of mind. Don't rush any decisions and wait to calm down
Step 2. Get away from your friend
Being around her can become difficult, especially after you tell her how you feel about her. Ask her for some space to process your feelings. You can discuss how to continue your relationship later. For now, it wouldn't do you any good to pretend you're not hurt and keep dating her.
You can say, "I need time to accept your reaction. I want to see you again, but maybe in a couple of days."
Step 3. Heal your wounds by taking care of yourself
It is normal to feel grounded after a rejection. Fight that feeling with affection. Treat yourself with love, as you would a friend with the flu. Make yourself a special dinner, watch a marathon from your favorite TV series or let off steam in the gym. Do the activities that make you feel best.
You may be tempted to use substances that calm emotions, such as alcohol and drugs, but you won't feel any better. Instead, take care of yourself with balanced meals, physical activity and getting enough sleep
Step 4. Write your emotions in a journal
This way you will discharge the feelings of rejection. You could describe what happened, how the other person reacted and how you felt. A diary is the ideal tool for identifying your emotions and learning to deal with them.
Step 5. Trust someone you trust
Share your feelings with a close friend. Make sure you can trust him to keep your conversation private. He may be able to give you advice, or comfort you after rejection.
You can say: "Laura, I feel humiliated. I told Paolo I loved him and he replied that it's not the same for him. I don't know what to do."
Step 6. Reconsider your ideas about rejection
Another way to deal with rejection is to change your mindset. You may think that there is something wrong with you, but you should replace this view with more realistic alternatives.
- For example, the other person may have said no to you because they want to safeguard your friendship; doesn't want to risk losing you if the romantic date doesn't go well.
- Another valid point of view is that your friend rejected you because there is someone who is more compatible with you. You just have to wait to meet her.
- Remember that it takes a lot of courage to step forward and state your feelings. Admire your audacity!
Method 2 of 3: Increase Your Self-Esteem
Step 1. Make a list of your best qualities
Rejection can cause your self-esteem to drop, so try to remember that you are a great person. Take the time to make a list of all the reasons you're amazing. Do not be shy! No one else should see this list.
- You can include features such as "good at listening", "artist" and "generous" in the list.
- If you can't think about your qualities, ask your best friend or parents for advice. These people will likely recognize all your best features.
Step 2. Get out of your comfort zone
Repair your wounded ego with out-of-the-ordinary activities. When we try something new, we become aware of our hidden talents. You don't need to do something extreme, as long as it's different from your usual hobbies.
For example, you could sign up for a flamenco class, or organize a short trip to a city close to where you live
Step 3. Think positive
After a rejection, it is normal for many negative thoughts to emerge. Silence them by focusing on positive thoughts. Repeat affirmations throughout the day that encourage you. If you can't think of them, search the internet for them.
- Examples of positive affirmations are "I'm good at a lot of things", "A lot of people love being with me" or "I'm adorable!".
- Repeat these affirmations every morning when you wake up and periodically throughout the day when you feel downcast.
Step 4. Spend time with people who appreciate you
The best way to heal your wounded ego is to feel loved. Make a commitment to be with those who respect you, for example your close relatives, by spending more time at the table during meals or by organizing a game night. Meet your closest friends often too.
Step 5. Consider dating another person without obligation
You shouldn't rely on others to get better. However, putting yourself out there and starting a relationship with another person can help you recover from rejection. This is no time to get seriously involved, at least until your wounds are healed, but dating can help you get distracted a lot and can also be fun.
- Go talk to the girl who tries to catch your eye at the bar, or finally accept the invitation to go to the cinema from the guy who has been chasing you for weeks.
- Let the other person know right away that you are trying to forget someone and that you are not looking for anything serious. Think about having fun and see what happens.
Method 3 of 3: Save the Friendship
Step 1. Speak honestly about the status of your relationship
When you feel ready to confront your friend, ask her to meet you to discuss. You have to decide how to go forward. If you ignore the problem, your friendship will be negatively affected. For this, don't hide behind a finger and face this difficult conversation.
- You can say, "I want us to be friends, but I see I've made you uncomfortable. How can we go on?"
- Listen carefully to the other person. Find out what exactly his feelings and thoughts are. Find ways to minimize embarrassment and resentment.
Step 2. Respect its limits
If you can save the friendship and get back to your habits, old feelings can re-emerge. In that case, don't try to get your friend to change her mind or get her to go out with you. She made it clear to you that she doesn't care in that sense, so please respect her choice.
You have to decide if you are able to befriend that person. If you can't control your feelings, which don't fade over time, it may be time to walk away from her
Step 3. Realize that your relationship may never go back to the way it used to be
Your friend may feel uncomfortable being with you after you reveal your deepest feelings to her. Likewise, you may still feel humiliated by the rejection. Regardless of how hard you work to save the relationship, you may find yourself spending less time together.
- Accept that when love enters a relationship, things change. If one of you prefers to spend less time together, you have to accept it.
- Your friendship may not improve until both of you have romantic relationships that satisfy you, so be prepared to wait a long time before things return to the way they used to be.
