The elders represent who you too will become. Respecting their wisdom, knowledge, grace and temper should be spontaneous for the younger generation, but that's not always the case. Sometimes we need a reminder of the importance of showing respect to the elderly, for what they can teach us useful. Older people deserve the same respect you want for yourself.
Steps
Step 1. Reflect that you are growing too
Do you think someone who is only five years older than you is "really old"? In that case, a sixty-year-old would be a fossil to you. This becomes problematic if you fall into the trap of assuming that old means out of time, of oneself and rooted in the past. There are many theories about aging, and most are useless generalizations that prevent a bonding and sharing of knowledge. Start by putting all those age-based claims aside. It doesn't matter what it is: we are all unique individuals, with the same values, giving and flaws.
- How many friends do you have among the elderly? If you answer "no one" or "only the grandparents", think about it.
- Are you afraid of making contact with the elderly? Do you feel better with stereotypes and platitudes on the subject? In that case, why?
Step 2. Start looking at the older people around you
See what they do and how they contribute to society. Many retirees continue to work, often for free, to contribute to the great "pot of knowledge". Others take care of their grandchildren or other children by caring for them at home or at schools and institutions, making sure that the next generation gets the best out of life. Still others rediscover old hobbies, go around the world, spend time learning new things that fascinate them. Maybe you will begin to understand that life renews itself as you grow up, new opportunities arise and by slowing down you can appreciate what the world offers you. In other words, the possibility of being admired… and respected.
Step 3. Be considerate of the well-being of the elderly
The human body deteriorates as we age. People flourish differently depending on genes, lifestyle choices and experiences, so you will find that some are fitter and more reckless than others, who have been forced to live with less than ideal diseases and medical conditions. The younger and healthier generations must show consideration for the fragility of the human body, in order to be able to demonstrate that they know how to deal more easily with certain physical situations. For instance:
- When an elder needs to sit down, whether it's on public transport, in a waiting room, or whatever, get up and give him yours. You are young, you have good legs and you will keep yourself healthy even by standing up. Here's the respectful part: Do it gracefully and not because that person is older than you. Do it because he is a human being and therefore it is important. Thinking about it in this way, you will discover within yourself a change of attitude.
- Do not yell at an elder thinking he is deaf or stupid. Being old does not automatically mean being hard of ears or an idiot. If nothing else, an elder is wiser than you, has been through a lot of stuff and can give you some good advice on how to improve your life.
- If you're driving an elderly person somewhere, don't assume they want to sit in the back. Ask him where he wants to settle and help him out of the car. The distance from the seat can sometimes be a problem for those with less strength.
Step 4. Show respect through behaviors that prove how great an elder's wisdom and life experience is
For instance:
- Give credit to the elder when you speak. Talk to him, don't act like he's not there.
- Unless asked, do not call him you and do not call him by name. If he wishes, he will let you know directly. This applies whether you are 6 or 76 years old: if a person is older than you on their shoulders, be respectful (after all, you are always younger).
- Get up when an elder walks into a room or reaches your table in the restaurant. Help him sit up if he needs it.
Step 5. Avoid taking weakness for granted
Help him maintain his autonomy for as long as possible by letting him do what he can do on his own. Never think that an elder does not know how to perform a task: be tactical and instead think that he knows but does not want to, or that he will tell you if he wants to understand how to act. Also, do not give unsolicited advice: just as you would for any other person, respect the fact that your advice may not be of use to the elderly person.
When you want to be useful, ask what he needs
Step 6. Share the memories
Take the time to talk to those older than you. When was the last time you sat down with someone a couple of generations older than you and had a good chat? One that involves your memories, your impressions of how the world has changed (or not) and your ideas of what the future might be like? Sometimes we are so firm on the idea that the future is a big lie for young people that we forget what the elders can teach us. They have seen and experienced things we may never know or take years to understand. By opening up and listening to what they have to say, you can learn a lot, discover things you didn't know and maybe even find a new friend and confidant. Above all, try to make connections that are suitable for both of you, demonstrating the enormous respect:
- Talk about where you live now and how things have changed.
- Talk about places you've both visited. What do they mean for that person? Do you feel the same?
- Discuss different and shared musical tastes. Ask what he thinks about the development of music today.
- Ask how people dressed in his day and how fashions have changed. Ask him for an honest opinion on what people should or shouldn't wear. You might be surprised.
- Grab a photo album or search online. Use them to create comparisons about the past, present and future.
- Be open to exploring anything. Many seniors will be thrilled to have an opportunity to share ideas, dramas, memories, experiences, and things they still hope to do with you. They may still have much to teach you, qualities forgotten by humanity that is rapidly modernizing. Maybe you can help him make his dreams come true one way or another!
Advice
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Some of the things an elder can teach you:
- How to say no
- How to live a life to the full without ruining your reputation
- How to love yourself, including flaws
- How to love your wrinkles
- How to never really retire (unless you have a lot of fun and don't want to)
- How to slow down to appreciate life
- How to accept those extra pounds
- How to treat your body with more respect
- How not to blame the little things and have a more philosophical approach to life.
- Finding a way to respect and honor an elder is often a path of understanding and accepting your concerns and ideas about aging. Learning how others have dealt with it can give you a clear idea of how to take care of yourself now, realizing that with the years come new opportunities and a more mature awareness.
- Do you harbor resentment because you think previous generations were better off? By asking an elder from the past, your ideas of a simpler life could drastically change. Communication between generations is the important part of mutual respect and learning, and not taking everything for granted.
Warnings
- If you are age-discriminating, work to combat it. It could become a broader problem, especially in many parts of the world. If you have a business or are the head of human resources you could be breaking the law.
- If your attempts to deal with an elder are met with anger, boredom, scolding, or grumbling, be polite nonetheless. Pain, years of intolerance, frustrations, and other reasons can lead an older person to such behavior. Persevere politely.
- Remember that we are all the same and your elders are no better than others.
