In this article, you will be given tips for learning how to deal with an older person who often becomes grumpy. These techniques should work with people of any age, to be honest. Remember to treat others with kindness and warmth, because everyone has a right to be respected. The fundamental rule in interacting with others is not to do to them what you don't want done to you. Read on for other tips that will help you to be patient and tolerant when dealing with individuals who belong to another generation.
Steps
Step 1. Ask yourself why you think this person is grouchy
Isn't it that you judged this person a priori only because he is an elder, without having a legitimate reason?
Step 2. Reflect on your behavior before judging his
Step 3. Ask him why he is being grumpy or, if you think he would react badly to hearing that word, ask him why he is “in a bad mood”
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If you believe that an elder is actually being hostile or trying to cause trouble, it would be wise to ask him what the reason for his behavior is, instead of getting angry or insulting him.
- It is possible that the person in question will answer you and, perhaps, it could be a problem that you can help them solve. Sometimes you won't get any answers, though; recognize that doing so is his right. He may think that you are looking for a confrontation and that he has misjudged his actions.
- Apologize for thinking wrong and offer to help in any way you can.
Step 4. Think about the positive character traits of this person
If you know her well, it should be easy for you to remember her many strengths.
Step 5. Be aware that society places many obstacles for seniors who have to contend with the fast pace of life, the rudeness and grumpiness of others in purchasing goods and services, forms that need to be filled out in detail, paying bills and other expenses which they often cannot afford
They also have to contend with traffic, stairs and other obstacles which are meant for younger and fitter people, but which present a major impediment for seniors who have disabilities or slower reaction times, etc.
Step 6. Try to put yourself in his shoes whenever you feel mortified and you should be able to understand, at least in part, why he is so irritable or angry
Step 7. Offer to help him with simple tasks that might be a problem for him
You could offer to fill out forms for him, bring him the newspaper or mail, or help him cross the street.
Step 8. Ask him if he needs you to shop for him
Traffic isn't the only problem here; even finding your way around a modern shop can be a problem for an elderly person.
Step 9. Help him relieve any pain
If the older person in your life is grumpy because they are physically in pain, make sure they see a doctor or specialist. Sometimes, even painkillers are useless and always being in a bad mood is a human reaction to being constantly subjected to constant pain.
Step 10. Remember that some medications can cause irritability as a side effect
Step 11. Look for the person behind all that pain and try to bring them out
Step 12. Respect his pain by explaining that you can imagine what he is feeling, but also try to cheer him up by suggesting ways that will allow him to distract himself from the pain he is experiencing
Step 13. Don't take his symptoms lightly, but tell him calmly but firmly that you have no intention of letting him use the pain he is feeling to compromise your relationship
Step 14. Ask an elderly family member or friend to come with you to meet this person
Often, older people become irritable because they have forgotten how to interact with others or are locked in the house all the time and become estranged.
Step 15. Find out what activities he is interested in, including hobbies he was used to having fun with
Step 16. Help him by driving or walking to wherever he wants or by buying him materials for his hobbies, books, newspapers and audio books that excite him
Step 17. Find him a new hobby
Also try teaching him how to use the internet. Many seniors have a lot of fun looking for old friends, doing research, building a family tree, and so on.
Step 18. Get in touch with a senior center and ask them what activities they have available; request a program with events
Many seniors come out of their "shell" when they have the opportunity to socialize with other people of their age.
Step 19. Accept things as they are, as long as you don't endanger someone's safety
Sometimes there are no solutions.
Step 20. Learn to live with the grumpy elderly person, if he does not pose a threat
If not, call the police or consult with other adults who can take action. Remember that older people are most often victims of violence and need to be protected, loved and respected by the whole family.
Step 21. Remember that someday it will be your turn too; then, think about what you are doing
Try to make this person's daily life better and help change the way society treats the elderly. This will make you more human and aware.
Step 22. Understand that he may be misbehaving towards you because other people your age have also misbehaved him
His behavior may just be a defense mechanism.
Step 23. Remember that aging can also cause depression in older people
Some may experience such depression in the form of anger, sadness, mood swings, etc.
Step 24. Consult a professional who cares for people with geriatric depression if there appear to be other problems
Step 25. Remember that older women undergo hormonal changes that can cause irritability and depression
