Developing a strong sense of self-respect can help you realize your potential, develop healthy relationships, and make everyone around you see you as worthy of respect. If you truly want to have respect for yourself, then you need to accept yourself and commit to becoming that person you've always dreamed of. Take the necessary steps to be able to love yourself as you are and to make the world treat you exactly the way you deserve to be treated.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Assuming the Right Mindset
Step 1. Get to know yourself better
Only when you are able to understand yourself better can you recognize and appreciate your uniqueness, and respect yourself accordingly. So find out what your principles, your personality and your talents are. This exciting self-discovery process may take some time to complete, but you'll soon realize it's really worth it.
- Make a list of the things, people, feelings, and activities that you consider important. It will help you identify what things you like and really want.
- Experiment with different activities. This will give you the opportunity to see what you like and what you don't like.
- Try keeping a journal. Pretend that you are talking to yourself, at the age of 99, and ask yourself for advice on areas of life that you should focus on most. You can simplify the process with a direct question "What do I want to avoid writing about?" This will create a sincere conversation with yourself.
- Spend time alone by pretending to be on a date with yourself. Take yourself to dinner at that restaurant you love. By doing so you will have the opportunity to connect with your feelings and opinions.
Step 2. Forgive yourself
If you want to have respect for yourself, you need to be able to forgive yourself for past mistakes that you are not proud of. Admit that you've made mistakes, apologize to those who deserve it, and commit to moving on. Treating yourself too harshly for making bad decisions or hurting someone will prevent you from moving forward. Understand that you are a human being and that human beings make mistakes. It is by mistake that we have the opportunity to learn, so accept and forgive your mistakes.
Step 3. Accept yourself.
Feel comfortable in your own skin, learning to love and accept who you are. This does not mean that you have to convince yourself that you are perfect, it means that you commit yourself to knowing and accepting yourself. Be happy with the many things you love about yourself, and learn to get along with the parts you think are imperfect, especially the ones you can't change.
Stop thinking that you will only be able to love yourself after losing ten pounds, and start appreciating who you are right now
Step 4. Commit to having more confidence in yourself
When you are not satisfied with your way of being, your appearance and your behavior, it is very difficult to have respect for yourself. Gaining more confidence takes a lot of work, but by making small daily changes in your life, you will be able to achieve your goal.
- Start engaging in positive body language and posture, smile more, and, at the stroke of every hour, have at least three happy thoughts about yourself.
- If someone offers you a compliment, accept it and respond with a "Thank you".
Step 5. Have a positive attitude
Your success in life, as well as your opinion of yourself, are directly related to the positivity of your attitude. Even when things don't seem to be going your way, convince yourself that something wonderful is about to happen sooner or later. Feel satisfied with your daily life and everything it has to offer. Being too negative about everything and imagining only the worst in any situation will prevent you from feeling good about yourself and giving yourself the respect you deserve.
For example, if you have applied for a job that you really like, don't say "I have no chance of doing it. There are a lot of more qualified candidates than me." The correct thought is, "Getting that job would be great. Even if I don't have to be called for an interview, I would still be very proud of myself for trying."
Step 6. Stop trying to keep up with others
One of the reasons you have little respect for yourself is because you tend to feel dissatisfied with being the only single in your group of friends or because you usually feel inadequate to have a lower salary than the people you know. Learn to maintain your own standards and commit to achieving the results you want to achieve yourself. Don't waste time on activities that you assume will impress your Facebook friends or allow you to put on airs. Rather than just pursuing a goal because everyone else has done it, it is much more remarkable to be successful in what you yourself truly desire.
Step 7. Reject envy
Stop wishing for what others have had and commit to getting what you really want. The feelings of bitterness and resentment that accompany jealousy will only make you want to be different from yourself and more like others. Refuse envy and focus on what makes you happy.
Step 8. Trust your choices
If you want to have respect for yourself, you need to have faith in the decisions you make. You have to believe in your beliefs and strive to understand yourself and to recognize what really makes you happy. Reward yourself for the right decisions and stick to the choices you make, no matter how difficult the path to the goal may be.
Get advice if you wish, but never question yourself. Often the advice will help you gain a more balanced perspective. However, be careful not to think that your every choice is wrong and do not waste time wishing you had made different decisions
Step 9. Learn to handle criticism
To have real self-respect, you need to become fully aware of who you are. If someone expresses a helpful and constructive opinion, evaluate it. You could treasure it and use it to further improve. Constructive criticism can help you achieve your goal of becoming a better person.
- Your partner may tell you that in times of need you could have proved yourself a better listener, or your boss may tell you that you could have written your report with greater care.
- If anyone turns out to be mean or tries to hurt you, throw their opinion among the brambles. Sometimes it may not be easy to distinguish constructive criticism delivered in aggressive words from a petty comment delivered in polite words. Learn to evaluate criticism carefully and frankly.
Step 10. Don't let yourself be influenced by others
Even if it seems like a very difficult result to achieve, your self-esteem and your happiness should come exclusively from yourself, and not from the people around you. Sure, compliments and acknowledgments can make you feel better, but at the end of the day, your happiness and satisfaction will have to come from within. Don't let others define you, making you feel inadequate or prone to question your beliefs. If you want to have respect for yourself, then you must believe that you have made the right decisions and learn to let those who like to despise everything and everyone do their job.
If you allow others to always manage to change your mind or retract your decisions, your beliefs will appear weak and insignificant. Learn to recognize the things you truly believe in, in which case negative people will hardly be able to influence your choices
Part 2 of 4: Acting on yourself
Step 1. Treat yourself with respect
We often turn to ourselves in a way we would never dream of reserving for the people we love. For example, when was the last time you called a friend ugly, told him he wasn't good enough at something, or dissuaded him from pursuing his dreams? Whatever your definition of respect is, apply it to yourself as well. Don't insult or hurt yourself, even when you feel really upset. Such treatment has only downsides and will force you to feel even worse. Here's how to show yourself the respect you deserve:
- Don't steal your own money, for example by recklessly borrowing money. In fact, you would be stealing money from your future since in the end you will have to pay yourself.
- Be honest with yourself and learn to admit what your real desires are.
- Instead of just following the opinions of others, think for yourself, developing your own sources of information and doing your own research.
Step 2. Take care of your body
By striving to keep your body healthy, not only will you feel better physically, you will develop a sense of pride. Respecting your body means choosing not to insult its nature. Work on getting fit and staying healthy, but don't criticize those aspects of yourself that you can't control, such as your body proportions. Focus on the parts that you can modify and improve for the sole purpose of feeling better and not to correct alleged current imperfections.
Going to the gym and looking great will not automatically increase your self-respect. It is important to note, however, that if you decide to neglect yourself, you will immediately begin to lose it
Step 3. Focus on the areas you can improve
Having respect for yourself does not mean that you have to consider yourself perfect and think that you cannot improve yourself further. It means being able to accept the aspects of yourself that you cannot change and commit to correcting those that need to be "refined". Take some time to reflect on yourself and consider which areas you want to pay more attention to. You may wish to become a better listener, learn to handle small everyday obstacles better, or acquire a more balanced approach when it comes to making others happy at the expense of your own personal needs.
- Create a plan to make improvements in these areas, and you will soon find that you have developed a greater respect for yourself. Make a list of the areas you want to refine. Take note of the progress made, however small it is. It is important to keep track of both small and big wins.
- Of course, being able to change your thoughts and behaviors, and the thoughts associated with them, will take much longer than 24 or 48 hours. You will need to put considerable amounts of effort and perseverance on the plate. Do not be afraid, however, as you take the first steps along the path that will lead you to have greater respect for yourself, you will feel your confidence increase.
Step 4. Improve yourself
Improving yourself means opening your mind and learning to embrace new experiences and new opportunities.
Improving yourself can mean signing up for a yoga class, volunteering, spending more time listening to seniors' words, learning to analyze a situation from multiple angles, reading current news, and striving to learn something new
Part 3 of 4: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Respect others
If you want to have respect for yourself, you need to start respecting all the people around you, not just those you think have more experience or are more experienced, every single human being on this Earth who hasn't hurt you. While you may come across people who don't deserve your respect, your job will be to treat others exactly the way you want to be treated, whether it's your boss or the supermarket cashier. Here are some basic principles that will allow you to treat others with respect:
- Be honest with people.
- Don't steal, don't hurt, and don't insult others.
- Listen to what people have to say, take their opinion into account and don't interrupt them while they talk.
Step 2. Recognize when others do not show you respect and put an end to such situations
A person who has self-respect does not allow anyone to be treated badly and chooses to stay away from those who are rude. It might seem an obvious concept, but there are many occasions when we accept being treated badly (in a more or less serious or obvious way) because we believe that the person in question does not know how to do better, because we are afraid of losing them or because we 'we have so much with ourselves that we don't think we deserve better. When someone doesn't show you the respect you need, make your voice heard and ask to be treated better.
- If the situation does not improve, move away from the disrespectful person. Nobody argues that it's easy to exclude from your life a person you love, but who has behaved excessively disrespectful. However, once you get into the habit of avoiding the company of those who make you feel bad about yourself, you will feel your self-respect greatly increase.
- Learn to recognize a manipulative or authoritarian relationship. Realizing that a person we love is behaving disrespectfully is not always easy, especially if they are acting sneaky and subtle and if yours is a long-term relationship.
Step 3. Learn to practice non-violent communication
When confronting someone about their rude behavior, try to stick to the guidelines of constructive and positive communication:
- Don't resort to yelling and insults. Both actions are not productive at all and turn every conversation into judgment.
- Identify your feelings. Honestly state how you feel and take responsibility for your emotions.
- State clearly what your needs and wishes are related to the situation. You might say "I need to develop a better image of myself so I don't want to hear any negative comments about me."
Step 4. Don't rely too much on others to feel good about yourself
In relationships as a couple and in friendship, we often sacrifice our needs and let ourselves be controlled by others because we are afraid of losing them. Sometimes we also have the perception that the opinions of others matter more than our own. Paying more attention to the needs of others than to your own is a clear sign of low self-esteem. So learn to trust your opinions and prioritize your needs. It is important that you understand that your happiness does not have to depend on others.
- Realizing what you can and cannot control means taking an important first step. For example, you cannot control the actions of others (you can influence them, but you cannot control them) and you cannot control the weather. However, it is possible for you to control the way you react to the actions of others, even in difficult situations, and decide what feelings to feel.
- You can also work to improve the way you manage your interpersonal relationships, for example by learning to be more assertive, to set healthy boundaries, and to strengthen and keep your relationships strong. By doing so, you will acquire healthy and effective behavior patterns, encouraging both others and yourself to treat yourself with more respect.
Step 5. Forgive people
If you want to have respect for yourself, you must learn to forgive those who have made a mistake towards you. This does not mean that you necessarily have to continue to regard them as trusted friends, but it is important that you are able to forgive them mentally, allowing you to move on. Continuing to mull over resentments and grudges will prevent you from thinking clearly and living in the present. So do yourself a favor and forgive the people who made a mistake to be able to look forward.
- Even when someone hurts you horribly, you have to commit to letting go and getting over both the experience and the person. Forever simmering in anger and resentment is unhealthy and harmful.
- When you forgive others, give yourself a gift and take an important step towards your recovery. Being angry for a while is normal, but prolonging those negative feelings for too long will allow them to interfere with your life and happiness. You must realize that when a person treats you badly, they do so because there are no people in their life who treat them with affection or respect and that therefore their situation may be worse than yours. So forgive her for making a mistake, knowing that you will be the person to benefit most from it yourself.
Part 4 of 4: Be Good for Yourself
Step 1. Don't humble yourself
If you want to have self-respect, you must immediately stop humiliating yourself, especially in the presence of others. It's one thing to be self-deprecating, it's another to say things like "I look really fat today" or "Why would anyone want to talk to me?". By discrediting yourself, you are encouraging others to do the same.
The next time you have a negative thought about yourself, write it down instead of saying it out loud. Saying it out loud will make you more likely to consider it true
Step 2. Do not allow others to see you take actions that you know you will regret
Focus on those behaviors that make you proud of yourself instead of trying to elicit some cheap irony or get some short-term attention. Avoid feats you are sure you regret, such as getting drunk and embarrassing in public or pestering someone at the bar just to get the attention of those in attendance.
Try to give a coherent image of yourself. It will be difficult for people to respect you as the best student in class if they saw you dancing at a party the previous night wearing only a lampshade on your head
Step 3. Manage intense emotions
From time to time it is normal to lose your temper, but you usually go into a rage, even worse for trifles, learning to manage the small situations in life more effectively will see your respect for yourself increase. Try to get away and take a walk to calm down, take a deep breath, and go back to handling the situation when you feel calmer. Coping with everyday situations with a calm mind rather than at the height of emotions will help you control and manage them better, thereby increasing your self-respect.
When you feel anger build up, apologize and walk away to take a stroll, get some fresh air, or call someone who can help you regain control of yourself. In addition to letting off steam with someone, you can also try meditating or writing down your thoughts in a journal
Step 4. Admit your mistakes.
If you really want to have self-respect, you need to be able to recognize that you've made a mistake. If you have lost your temper, make sure those present know that you are truly sorry for what happened and that you are certain that the situation will not happen again in the future. Taking responsibility for your actions and making amends for your mistakes will help you feel good despite the mistake, consequently increasing your self-respect because you are aware and proud that you did your best despite things not going as you hoped. Give yourself and others the respect they need to admit that you are simply a human being.
By learning to recognize your mistakes, you will make people respect you more and trust you more
Step 5. Spend some time with people who respect you
The company of those who make you feel bad about yourself guarantees a lowering of the respect you have for yourself. In fact, not only will you feel bad for hearing nasty words about you, deep down you will also be angry at yourself for letting them do it. Find people who help you feel positive and satisfied with yourself and the world and who are willing to listen to you and help you sort out your feelings.
Take this important advice especially about your relationships. By dating a partner who tends to discredit you all the time, it will be almost impossible to have real respect for yourself
Step 6. Be modest
Some believe that bragging about their achievements makes them more popular with people. The reality is that those who put on airs end up looking extremely insecure. If you really want to win people's respect, learn to be humble and modest and let others see for themselves what you are worth.
Advice
- Develop a unique and original way of expressing your opinion while remaining a good listener.
- The idea of self-respect is very close to the concept of self-esteem, but respect is more inherent in your actions, while esteeming it for your feelings. Of course, they go hand in hand.
- Never fear yourself.
- Consider the best way to treat others, and in doing so, focus on the fact that you deserve to be treated the same way.
