Writing to a pen pal can be a deeply stimulating and fulfilling experience. In some cases, it allows for a friendship that will last a lifetime. Fortunately, thanks to the internet, finding one is much easier, in fact there are various dedicated websites. With a bit of discretion and insight, you can choose the perfect pen pal and start laying the foundations for a long lasting friendship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding the Right Website
Step 1. Consider your preferences
There are several ways to start a correspondence with a pen pal - deciding which one is right for you will help you choose from the many websites dedicated to this world. Some prefer to communicate electronically, while others want to take advantage of this experience to express their creativity.
- The International Union of Mail-Artists is a website dedicated to those who want to send artistic works by post to their pen pals. It is more of a niche community and has around 4,000 active members. In any case, it is the perfect site for those who want to give a touch of creativity to their correspondence.
- Swap-bot is another website dedicated to creative correspondence. It focuses on exchanging postcards, stickers, coins, and a wide variety of small items. It's perfect for hobbyists and anyone interested in sending home-made packages.
- Global Penfriends is a good example of more traditional correspondence relationships. Users can search for potential pen pals all over the world, using a specific search engine to find the right person. Instead of sending craft or other jobs, users communicate through writing.
Step 2. Consider whether you want to establish an electronic or classic correspondence
Some websites do not allow you to add your home address: virtual communication is therefore preferred, which is considered more secure. If you have a penchant for traditional correspondence and paper gives you good feelings, then it's best to look for a web page that facilitates this type of communication. Global Penfriends accepts both electronic and postal correspondence, so users can exchange their home address after establishing a first contact.
Step 3. Compare free and paid websites
Many sites allow you to search for pen pals for free, but require a premium membership: to be able to communicate with other users, you have to pay a low monthly or annual fee. Other sites allow free membership, but this often leads to an invasion of advertisements. InterPals is a reliable web page, with a solid user database and few advertisements.
Step 4. Use Google to find the right site
In addition to considering the tips in this article, you can very well search for a website on your own. However, many are poorly managed or no longer exist, so it's important to understand how to find a suitable one.
- Consider the structure of the site. Is it cluttered, full of bulky texts and harassing advertisements? All of these are indicators of inefficiency. A reputable site should have an elegant and user-friendly layout, with a well-defined explanation of how it works.
- See the FAQ section. This part of the site should answer all the most important questions, for example if you have to pay a registration fee, how to set up a profile, if you are allowed to communicate only electronically or even through a classic postal address.
- Before creating a profile, visit the site. Try the search engine and evaluate its ease of use. Look at the number of available users and see if you can find people living in the countries of your interest.
Step 5. Create a profile
Once the account is activated, you need to set up a profile that is open to other users. Creating your own space plays a very important role in winning pen pals. Based on the information given, members will decide whether to click on your profile after making a search and whether to send you a message. Complete in detail the fields that invite you to describe yourself and talk about your hobbies. This is how users will understand if they have something in common with you. Upload at least one good profile photo to confirm that you are a real person. Develop an accurate personal description, but try not to give out information you don't want to share.
Part 2 of 3: Seeking a Pen Pal
Step 1. Decide what you are looking for in a pen pal
Consider nationality, age and gender. It is best to be flexible in terms of geographic location. If you are a teenager, look for someone with whom you are only two years apart. On the other hand, if you are an adult, the age difference can be up to five years. Having a pen pal can be a terrific cultural experience, so think about what you want to learn for a moment.
Step 2. Look for people who share the same hobby as you
As you review the various profiles, pay attention to the activities that users do in their free time, in order to find someone who shares a particular interest. You can also choose a person with completely different passions: you can teach each other something new.
Step 3. Try to discover a country and improve your language skills
Think of a part of the world that has always intrigued you but never had the opportunity to visit. A pen pal can offer you points of view that you are unlikely to get in other contexts. Many choose pen pals from distant countries and different native speakers. The linguistic factor is very important to consider when choosing a correspondent. In fact, you should be able to understand each other using a common language. Penpals allow you to learn and practice your language skills, so you may want to look for someone who speaks a language you are interested in studying or understanding better.
Step 4. You could use this mode of communication to offer a service to the community
Often there are older users interested in developing friendships with peers or young people. Communicating with these people will not only make you find friends from other generations, it will also help those in need of companionship.
Step 5. Refine your search
Most sites have various options that allow you to use filters to find pen pals. For example, Global Penfriends has a good search engine that allows you to define several parameters.
- To do a basic search, Global Penfriends allows you to choose gender, age, country, state / province, city / town. It also allows you to determine whether you want to search only for profiles with photos and registered mailing addresses.
- Advanced search offers more selection options, including race, religion, hobbies, language and communication preferences (by post or electronically).
- It is important to have some flexibility in doing your research, as it can be difficult to find the ideal pen pal. Try to look for users with different interests and experiences: often it is from these people that you learn the most.
Step 6. Consult the site guidelines to find out how to make contact
Once you find an interesting user, the site allows you to add him to your friends or send him a message. To avoid disappointment, don't get attached before he replies. Paid sites usually only allow you to send an initial message or a smiley face, so if you're planning on keeping in touch with someone, be sure to open a premium account.
Step 7. First contact should be short, light and friendly
Talk a little about yourself and why you decided to contact this user. For example, you could write: "I am attending high school in Milan and I am looking for foreign friends interested in botany". Don't give too much information right away, so you can decide if someone is right for you before giving your home address.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping in Touch
Step 1. Keep the conversation alive
By communicating with a pen pal, you will inevitably start sharing more information about yourself. Cultivating a friendship requires mutual exchange, and over time you will both get to know each other better. Try to naturally stimulate communication, just as you would any other friendship. To start, talk about general topics, such as your job and interests, then, as the relationship deepens, move on to emotions, difficulties and insecurities. However, only disclose certain information about yourself if you feel absolutely comfortable with this person.
Step 2. Maintain your safety
Having a pen pal gives you a wonderful opportunity to make friends with people living in every corner of the globe, but it also puts you in a vulnerable position. Be careful when giving out personal information, even simple data like Skype name, email, Facebook name, phone number, and so on. Before granting or asking for more data, wait a bit. Build trust over time. Try not to post your email address on your profile, as spammers can use it to send you junk mail. Always rely on common sense when sharing personal details with a pen pal - make sure you trust him before you reveal too intimate information.
Step 3. Make time for your pen pal
Keeping in touch is seemingly easy, but it happens to overlook pen pals. Developing a long-distance friendship is like cultivating one in real life: you need to dedicate time and effort to it. You need to make an effort to converse regularly with this person, otherwise the relationship could end.
- Follow a routine. Whether it's once a week or a month, set aside an hour to sit down and write a nice letter to your pen pal.
- If he starts answering you less often, you might want to send him another letter to make sure he's okay.
- You could keep in touch via social networks like Facebook and Instagram to strengthen the relationship. Social networks are great for regularly hearing and getting to know each other better.
- In the future, you may want to arrange an in-person meeting. If you don't have the means for a long journey, it may not be feasible. However, if the relationship is strong, then a personal encounter is what it takes to deepen the friendship even further.
Step 4. Try to be patient
Cultivating a fulfilling long-distance relationship takes longer than normal friendships, in fact consider that receiving a letter from the other side of the world will not be immediate. Remember that you should prepare for a correspondence of at least a couple of years to really get to know your pen pal. Gradually understanding someone's personality can be a rewarding experience that will only grow rich over time. If you strive to maintain a constant correspondence and are committed to getting to know the other person, then a complete stranger living far away could become a lifelong friend.
Advice
- If it gives you contact information, be sure to write it down on a piece of paper or elsewhere - you may lose it.
- If someone contacts you, answer them and try to write quickly - nobody likes to wait.
- Don't expect everyone to write in the same language as you - learn simple words in other languages.
- Pen pals often want to exchange language. Offer to teach Italian or any other language you speak. Maybe your correspondent wants to teach you his.
Warnings
- If you are a minor, consult a parent to help you choose a pen pal.
- Someone might lie about their identity online or even in the letters they write. Before choosing a pen pal, understand this risk.
- When you decide to see a pen pal in person, be especially careful. Make sure you only arrange a meeting after you have talked to him for a few years, preferably after phone calls or video chats, in order to confirm his true identity.
