It's hard to find a new best friend if you're not used to breaking out of your protective shell. However, the first step is to get to know new people and get to know them. As soon as you meet someone you like, try to deepen the relationship and turn it into a true friendship. If you are a child or teenager, read the third section of this article to find useful information for your needs.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding New Friends
Step 1. Consider your work
You will likely have colleagues you have been able to socialize with, but have never had the time to deepen relationships. One of the secrets to fostering a friendship in the workplace is to get to know people gradually. Basically, you should start slowly opening up to colleagues you like to talk to and encourage them to confide in you more.
Step 2. Find friends in your neighborhood
Generally, we tend to make friends with people who live nearby, therefore also with neighbors. If you've talked to a neighbor a few times, consider learning more by inviting him to dinner or by bringing him some cookies. Alternatively, you can go and see him by bringing him a thought to show him your good intentions.
Step 3. Follow your passions
One of the best ways to meet new people is to follow your passions. Find a group whose members share the same passions as you. Look for a cultural association that explores interesting topics by gathering at the bookstore. Take a course on a subject that intrigues you at a museum or institute. By joining these initiatives, you will meet people who have similar interests to yours and with whom you can make friends.
If you can't find a group that fits your interests, form one yourself. Ask the library if there are spaces to host groups or arrange meetings in a bar or restaurant. Try starting a club using social networks, like Facebook or Meetup
Step 4. Find a volunteer association
In addition to offering support to the community, volunteering also gives the opportunity to meet new people. For example, you could do this at a library, school, hospital, canteen, or food bank. Choose something that allows you to put your skills to good use.
Step 5. Consider attending a spiritual community
Spirituality can manifest itself in different forms, from religious to pagan to meditative. Regardless of which path you choose, members of a spiritual community usually share certain values that go beyond the realm of materiality.
Step 6. Say hello to people
If you see someone reading an interesting book at the bar, don't be afraid to walk over and say hello. Likewise, if for weeks you used to smile at the same classmate with whom you have little confidence, try to take a step forward and introduce yourself. You can't make a friendship if you don't exchange a few words. The worst thing that can happen is that the other person is in a bad mood and doesn't want to talk.
Step 7. Give a compliment
How happy you are when others give you some appreciation, others like to hear good things about themselves. Therefore, try to pay some compliments to the people you meet. In this way you will create an atmosphere of cordiality and, moreover, your interlocutor will see in you a pleasant company.
Try to give the right compliments. That is to say, "I see you well today" is a great start, but you could do better if you said, "I like your taste in dress. The color you wear definitely looks good" or "I like your smile. room"
Step 8. Hang out with the same group of people
Once you start dating a group, keep hanging out. By regularly meeting the same people, you will slowly begin to make friends with some of them.
Step 9. Tell yourself that you will make new friends
When you find yourself in a new context, determine how many people you intend to meet or become familiar with. In this case, the attitude you take is more important than the goal. Try to be open to the idea of meeting different types of people and making friends.
Part 2 of 3: Turning a Knowledge into a Friendship
Step 1. Invite and accept invitations
If you are a bit of a couch potato, you will most likely not be so tempted to have too much of a mundane life. However, if you are looking to make new friends, don't hesitate to go to the events you are invited to. Don't decline appointments with one or two people either. So, if a friend invites you for coffee or to the cinema, accept. In turn, do not hesitate to return the invitation.
Also, if a colleague is clearly inclined to deepen your relationship, encourage dialogue
Step 2. Find out more about a person
If you're planning on getting acquainted with someone, you can't stop and chat about superficial topics, like the weather. Try to deepen the relationship, making the conversations more interesting. Ask the person you'd like to have as a friend what their hopes and dreams are. Talk to her about what keeps you up at night. Ask her what her concerns are. Ask what she likes and why she likes, such as movies, books and quotes. By fueling the dialogue, you will be able to get to know each other better.
By doing this, you are asking the other person to expose themselves, so you need to learn how to do the same. Try to share something more personal
Step 3. Use body language
Show your new friends your sympathy for them by using body language. Smile when they arrive. When they talk, try to give them full attention, even with your body. Do not look at the phone and do not play with objects that you find on hand. Thanks to non-verbal communication you can convey the intention to deepen your friendships.
For example, make sure you turn your body towards your interlocutor and try not to cross your arms, otherwise you could tell him that you don't like talking to him
Step 4. Learn to listen
Of course, you will want a friend who listens to you when you feel the need. Consequently, you must be willing to do the same. Pay attention to what he is telling you and try to read between the lines to find out if he is communicating something else.
For example, if you ask him how his relationship is going and he says, "I've been absorbed in my interests lately," he probably means that he is having some relationship problems and perhaps he will want to talk about it
Step 5. Let the relationship grow
Friendships, like romantic relationships, are not built suddenly. They need time to grow and feed. So, be patient with your new friends and let the bond grow closer over time.
For example, let's say you happen to talk to a colleague more often. Keep in mind that it may take several weeks before you go out and have dinner together, because it is in the dynamics of friendships that arise in work contexts. Many of these relationships do not go beyond the professional realm
Step 6. Offer your time
To show that you care about your friend, you need to stand by him when you promise you will. Consequently, you don't have to be there only in the best moments, but also in the most difficult times.
Step 7. Make time for the little things
It's the little things that build a friendship. As you approach a person, small gestures can be very important, such as bringing a cup of coffee, leaving a note in the post box, or even bringing something to eat when the other person is having a hard time.
Step 8. Make your outings more intense and interesting
Consider going out of town together for a few days. By being together all the time, you will be able to connect, especially if you share the same hotel room. Plan a fun vacation to spend with your friend.
Step 9. Be aware that it may not work
Not all acquaintances can turn into deep friendships. In fact, most of the time it doesn't happen. Many people only have 3-5 very close relationships, so if a lot of them are your friends, you are doing very well.
In fact, you may find that the more you know a person, the more you dislike them. Just because you work or live near someone, you don't have to be friends with them
Part 3 of 3: Finding New Friends of the Heart if You Are a Child or Teenager
Step 1. Be open to meeting new people
When you are in class, playing sports or attending an association with your family, try to orient yourself towards those you do not know. Sometimes, you get trapped in the habit of always hanging out with the same people. If you are open to strangers, you can make new friends.
Try not to judge other guys by their looks. You may think that someone is not congenial to you because they have a slightly different style from yours, but keep in mind that you may have many things in common
Step 2. Say hello
The best way to start chatting is to say a simple greeting. Introduce yourself by saying your name and ask the other person what their name is.
- For example, you might say, "Hi, my name is Sara. What about you?".
- To continue the conversation, you can also mention something that is going on in that context. For example, you might say, "Are you new to this place?" or "Did you like today's lunch?".
Step 3. Ask the other person if you can spend some time with them
For example, if you are having lunch with your team or the club you frequent, ask someone if you can sit next to them. By being with him, you can get a better idea.
For example, you could say, "Hi, I saw you here and I realized we never said goodbye. Do you mind if I sit next to you today?"
Step 4. See if you can hang out with her
After you've talked a couple of times, try meeting this person on other occasions. Maybe you could do your homework together in the library or maybe your parents agree that he comes home sometimes to get to know you better.
- When someone comes to see you, remember that you are the host. In other words, you need to make sure your guest feels comfortable. Ask him what he wants to do. You can also prepare something to do together.
- You can tell if he's having fun by noticing if he laughs and smiles.
Step 5. Ask a few questions
One way to get to know a person is to ask questions. You could ask her what her favorite movie or book is, her family and her interests.
Once you are more confident, try asking a few more personal questions. For example, you might ask her what her fears are or why she likes something
Step 6. Be kind
As water makes plants grow, so kindness makes a friendship blossom. Make nice gestures towards your friend, such as lending him your math notes, bringing him a drink when you buy it for yourself, or writing him a note telling him you're happy with your relationship - these are little things that can show him how much care for him.
Step 7. Learn to listen
True friends listen. Just as you like to tell others what is happening to you, others like to do the same. Consequently, if on the one hand you feel the need to confide your thoughts to a friend, on the other you must also be able to listen to what he says to you and respond.
- For example, if he says, "I had a bad night," don't say "Me too" right away, throwing up on him what happened to you. Ask him what happened to him first.
- If you are not used to talking like this, ask your parents if they can help you become familiar with this type of approach. It's not easy for everyone to have a conversation.
Step 8. Accept the other person
You will likely discover sides of his character that you dislike or would like to change. Everyone has their own little flaws or aspects that other people don't like. So, try to accept your friend as he is. After all, he too may not appreciate some side of your character.
