Do you like to write? Do you want to make new friends without leaving the comfort of home? Exchanging letters with a pen pal allows you to do that! To build a solid relationship that lasts over the years, think about the kind of friend you want, share your life with him in prose, and develop a sincere interest in him.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Learning to Meet a New Pen Pal
Step 1. Choose the appropriate letter format
While there are no fixed rules on how to structure matches, many people decide to use a three-part format. A well-written letter has a part dedicated to greetings, one or more paragraphs representing the body of the text and an epilogue.
- Greetings should start with "Dear [pen pal's name]". Always put them at the top of the page.
- After the greetings, develop the body of the letter. This is the main part of the text where you can communicate with your friend.
- Finally, summarize or conclude your thoughts with an epilogue. The conclusion usually consists of a final paragraph and a farewell sentence, such as "Sincerely," followed by your signature.
Step 2. Write the body of the letter
This is the content section, where you introduce yourself, ask interesting questions and share your thoughts. Depending on the length of the paragraphs, you could write between two and five.
- In your first letter, introduce yourself in a general way. Provide information about your home life, hobbies, and interests. You can even include obvious details that your friend probably already knows.
- For example, you could introduce yourself by writing, "I'm twelve. I live with my father and my two sisters. I am in the seventh grade and my favorite subject is history. In my spare time I enjoy reading and playing on the PlayStation."
- Don't write down all the information about your life at once. You'll have plenty of time to share the other details with your pen pal when you get to know each other better.
- Be specific. For example, don't say you like movies, books, and sports. Instead, write that you appreciate Marvel movies, science fiction novels, and cycling.
- As you get to know your pen pal better, you will have more elements to respond to his opinions, sense of humor and ideas in the body of the letter. You will also feel more comfortable expressing yourself and confiding in him. The more you write to each other, the easier it will be to find topics that interest both of you.
Step 3. Pay attention to what you write
If you correspond with a pen pal in prison, do not include any incriminating information. The letters to the prisoners are read carefully and you could get in trouble if law enforcement finds out about your secrets. If you are an undocumented immigrant, do not write it in the letter; you never know who will read the letters you write. Also avoid sharing details about your income or salary.
- Don't say everything right away.
- If you don't like the idea of a stranger knowing where you live, rent a PO box.
Step 4. Ask a lot of questions
Show interest in your pen pal's life. Ask him questions about his job, hobbies, and family. Invite them to share their thoughts on many common interests. Develop a sincere curiosity about his life and don't be shy when you write to him.
For example, if your pen pal is athletic, ask him what his 100m time is, if he has ever participated in a relay race, and what is the maximum distance he has traveled
Step 5. Don't be pushy
You probably have dozens of questions to ask your pen pal about his life, but you need to avoid overstepping the line. If you are writing to someone on the other side of the world, they may not like too much familiarity and confidence. It may be embarrassing for you to speak honestly about some topics. If you feel reticent, avoid investigating his habits and life. If he doesn't answer some questions, don't ask them again and assume the topic is taboo.
- Alternatively, if your pen pal is more direct and insists that certain limits should not be exceeded, respect his will. For example, if he doesn't want to talk about his sexual orientation or family, don't ask him about those topics.
- Likewise, don't feel obligated to confess all about yourself if you don't feel comfortable doing so. If your pen pal writes to you about a topic or problem you don't want to talk about, don't feel like you need to open up to him. Let him know directly that there are things you don't feel like discussing. Just like a regular friend, the pen friend should respect your boundaries and take into account your feelings.
Step 6. Finish the letter
The final part is the conclusion. Write a last paragraph saying goodbye to your friend and leaving him with a thought to think about or with a question. For example, you might close with a few short sentences that summarize the main idea you have set out in the body of the text.
- For example, if you wrote a letter explaining that you are looking forward to summer, you might add: "With a little luck, the weather will improve here soon. I really want to start swimming again. Do you? ? Or are there other summer sports that interest you? Hope to hear from you soon."
- Skip two lines and write "Sincerely", "Take care" or "Until next time", concluding with the signature just below the final word.
Step 7. Write the address on the envelope
Add both the sender's address (yours) and the recipient's address. Yours goes in the upper left corner of the envelope, starting with the name, then the street, and finally in the third line, city, state and zip code. Follow the same format for the recipient's address, but put it in the center of the envelope.
- Don't forget to put the stamps. It's a good idea to take the letter to the post office the first time you mail it, so you know which stamps you need, especially if your pen pal lives overseas.
- Put the letter in the mailbox or take it to the post office for delivery.
Step 8. Wait patiently for the answer
Your pen pal is probably a busy person, just like you. Don't expect an immediate response. Wait at least two weeks and if you haven't received a letter yet, send another one or an e-mail (if you have his e-mail address).
Many people are used to instant means of communication, such as e-mails, messages, telephones, and consider letters a waste of time. However, one of the benefits of letters is that it takes time to write and mail them, so they require patience (and instill it)
Part 2 of 3: Developing the Relationship with a Pen Pal
Step 1. Decide what commitment to make with your pen pal
If you only want to text him twice a month, let him know. The same is true if you can write every week. There are no rules on how often you need to communicate, but whatever your decision is, make it clear to the other person so that they don't expect too much of you.
Conversely, if you want a more helpful pen pal and haven't found one yet, keep looking. Don't feel limited to having only one pen pal at a time
Step 2. Include a gift
Many small items can be ideal gifts for your pen pal. If he lives in another country, he may be interested in the coins in use where you live. You could also include recent articles they might like and quote them in the body of the letter. If you've become close friends and the idea of sending him a picture of you doesn't make you uncomfortable, you can add a snapshot of yourself doing a fun activity to the letter.
- If you are writing to a pen pal in prison, ask him if he can receive certain items before sending them. Each prison imposes different rules on the items allowed in personal correspondence.
- Decorate the letter. If you have an artistic side, include small drawings to illustrate the text. You can add stickers for a personal touch.
Step 3. Comment on what your pen pal writes
For example, if he tells you he has started a new job, ask him if he likes it, if his colleagues are nice people, and so on. Show your interest in her life.
- If your pen pal asks you questions, answer them. If you prefer to avoid covering some topics, explain this explicitly.
- Ask for photos of your friend's pets, collections, and artwork.
Step 4. Don't treat your pen pal like a diary
To build a closer relationship with him, you will often need to share personal feelings and experiences, but you shouldn't give him a detailed account of everything you've done since the last time you wrote to him. Let the conversation unfold naturally between you.
- Mention major events in your life, such as going to the cinema, concert or theater, eating well or badly in a restaurant, receiving an award at school, or learning something new, like cooking. Don't limit yourself to the role of reporter; instead try to offer an in-depth analysis of the latest developments in your life.
- For example, instead of simply saying "Yesterday I saw the new Captain America movie" without adding anything else, you write: "I saw the new Captain America movie. I liked all the characters that have already appeared in other Marvel movies. In my opinion, the directing and acting were the best in the series. You should watch it! ".
Step 5. Connect with your pen pal by sharing experiences you have in common
In your letters, write about events that the other person may also have experienced or have opinions about, such as current events or your working life. For example, you could write, "I am really impressed with Candidate X. I donated for his campaign and volunteered to do door-to-door promotion. You? Are you planning to vote?"
Step 6. Talk to your pen pal on the internet
Use social media like Facebook and Tumblr to create a deeper bond with him. By staying in touch, your friendship can flourish even between one letter and another.
Don't let social or digital communication replace your correspondence. While modern means of communication are very useful, they cannot offer the joys of writing a letter
Part 3 of 3: Finding a Pen Pal
Step 1. Think about the reasons why you would like to write to a pen pal
Are you doing research on a specific topic? Do you want to practice a foreign language? Do you want to learn more about the life and culture of another country? Based on your interests and the purpose for which you want a pen pal, you need to make different choices about what kind of person to connect with.
- For example, if you want to learn German, you should find a pen pal in Germany, Austria or who lives in another country but speaks that language.
- If you want to get to know Japan better, you should find a Japanese pen pal who can share his opinion on Japanese society with you.
Step 2. Think about your interests and background
If you just want to find a new friend, it can be helpful to write to someone you have in common with. Try to find someone of a similar age to you and with the same interests.
- For example, if you're a 17-year-old punk-rock guitarist, you probably don't have much in common with a 45-year-old businessman. Try to find pen pals you find interesting and can't wait to write to.
- There are many pen pals clubs dedicated to cultural groups of the population. For example, you will find groups designed for teenage girls and others just for students.
- Of course, you don't have to find a clone of yourself to have a good pen pal. In some cases we learn more about ourselves and the world we live in by interacting with people who are very different from us.
Step 3. Use the internet to find a pen pal
On the net you will find many forums and websites that connect people from all over the world who want to write letters. Pen Pal World, Penpals Now, and Letter Writers Alliance are just a few examples.
Some services that allow you to find pen pals are paid, while others are free. You can find great friends with either solution, but check what kind of service it is before signing up to avoid unexpected costs
Advice
- If your pen pal lives far away, you may need special stamps. Ask for confirmation at the post office.
- Investing in quality stationery and writing paper can make your letter writing and reading experience more enjoyable.
Warnings
- Make sure you write the address correctly on the envelope.
- If your friend lives in another state, they may not understand some things you write (such as slang terms or pop culture references). Try to be clear.
