A family vacation should be exciting and fun, but it can be ruined upon departure if one of your children is very afraid of flying. This is a common phobia for many people of all ages, but it can be particularly difficult to manage in children. Fortunately, there are numerous techniques you can use to reduce your child's anxiety about flying, without necessarily resorting to medication. With the right planning, persistence and patience, even the journey itself can become a fun part of the vacation.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making the Child Aware
Step 1. Ask him questions about his fear of flying
Talking to your child about the problem doesn't make him worse and is the first step in giving him the tools to overcome it. Do not subject him to questioning, but feel free to ask further questions about the source and details of his phobia.
- Children's fear of flying is often caused by one of the following factors: the inability to understand how a heavy metal plane can stay in the air; the fear of closed spaces and of not being able to do what they want when they want; previous bad experiences or negative stories heard by other people; news seen in the media about plane crashes, aircraft safety threats or bad flight experiences.
- Investigate the causes of fear by valuing what your child thinks and showing empathy: "The first time I took the plane, I was terrified that it might fall. What do you think?". Develop theories starting from your observations: "I noticed that you feel uncomfortable in crowded spaces, for example that time on the train at rush hour. Is it something that bothers you about the plane too?". You can also try a simple invitation to talk about the topic: "Tell me what you think about the plane trip we're going to do."
- The more details you know about the nature of their fear of flying, the more specific your approach to solving the problem can be.
Step 2. Explain how planes fly
It's easy to find a lot of information about how safe it is to fly, such as how the most dangerous part of the journey is the drive to the airport and so on (read this wikiHow article for some statistics and examples). However, numbers alone are not enough to overcome your child's anxiety. Explaining and showing the child how planes work is a strategy that can be most successful.
Give your child airplane and flight books, toy planes, and show him flying videos. Search together for answers to his questions. Build and play with small flying machines. If there is an aviation museum near where you live, go see the planes and maybe have your child sit in the cabin. Have him speak to the flight experts present
Step 3. Show your child some planes in action
Unfortunately, the time is over when families could take a walk to the international airport to watch planes leave and arrive from all over the world. However, there are still opportunities to observe planes in operation, and experiences like this can give certainty to a frightened child.
- Try traveling to a small local or regional airport. Find an (authorized) spot where you can watch small planes land and depart, explaining what happens to your child (and what it feels like from inside the craft). If you can find a pilot willing to talk a little with your baby, even better.
- While modern safety protocols make it much more difficult to closely watch airliners landing and departing from major airports, you may still find opportunities to do so alongside your child (without creating any safety concerns).
Step 4. Tell about all the people who work to make the flight safe
Tell your child that there are literally dozens of people who are specifically concerned with ensuring that the plane is safe and ready to go. Talk about the engineers, the pilots, as well as the ground crew and flight attendants.
The safety rules imposed at large airports can be intimidating and frightening for small children. Talk to your child and explain that all security personnel, tools and controls are designed to make flying safer
Step 5. Focus on "gradual desensitization"
Information and familiarity fight anxiety, especially if acquired methodically. All the steps taken towards being aware of how planes fly, what happens in the air and the people who work to ensure a safe journey can help your child feel less afraid of flying.
- Gradual desensitization is a slow and methodical approach that helps a person become familiar with a situation or circumstance that causes them anxiety. For example, those who are terrified of bees can read books, watch videos, go to nature to observe flowers and talk about how important bees are for pollination, talk to a beekeeper and watch him work from a safe distance, wear a suit that protects from bees and get close to an artificial hive, until you get to be able to stay close to a hive without equipment.
- Start as early as possible and take the time to help your child become familiar with the concept of flying in an airplane. Do not wait until the last minute and proceed at the pace that suits him best. If you need more trips to the airport or museum to make him feel peaceful, don't rush. You will be rewarded when it is time to leave.
Part 2 of 3: Prepare for the Day of Flight
Step 1. View flight details
As the day of departure approaches, it can be useful to do a simulation of the events that will happen: what your child will see, hear and experience when he gets on the plane and leaves. For young children who have never flown, not knowing what to expect can be a great source of anxiety.
Try to describe as much detail as possible, from the queue, to the document check, to the moment you look for seats on the plane, etc. Talk about the sounds of the plane waiting on the runway, the feeling of picking up speed and the moment the wheels come off the ground. Try to paint a realistic and in-depth scenario by breaking the process down into simple, easy-to-understand steps
Step 2. Manage your personal anxiety
If you are also afraid of flying or are worried about how your child will react, they will notice your discomfort. Don't just hide your emotions, however; relieve your anxiety before leaving, so that you can better cope with your baby's stress.
- Ideally, you should be able to master anxiety and be alert, alert, calm, and ready to help your child. Consequently, drugs are not the best alternative. Read How to Overcome the Fear of Flying as a starting point for easing your worries, so you can help your child cope with theirs.
- The anxiety and stress reduction strategies that work for you can also be beneficial for your child. Physical activity is often an effective method, so a short walk to the airport can help. Babies are also able to quickly learn deep breathing exercises (inhale slowly and deeply, hold the breath for a moment, then exhale slowly). Meditation and mindfulness exercises often take longer to work on children, but they too can be very helpful. Finally, getting a good night's sleep before you leave and having a healthy meal on the day of your flight is always a good idea.
Step 3. Carry distracting and comforting items
Whether it's flying or other anxiety-provoking activities, objects we know well can alleviate fears generated by unfamiliar situations, while distractions help pass time and keep your mind busy. Now is not the time to force your child to do without his or her favorite blanket; if an object can help him and it's okay to get it on the plane, let him keep it.
Movies, music, books, games, puzzles, and many other distractions can help relieve anxiety before and during the flight. Games such as "21 Questions" can also help you and your child distract and relax. Of course, a nap (preferably not induced by narcotics) is also a great distraction
Step 4. Tell the flight crew that your child is afraid
They are trained to handle anxious passengers, including children, and they do it every day. One or more staff members will give your child extra attention and information. After all, they know it's best to keep fears in check right away, before they escalate into tantrums or panic attacks.
Don't use an approach like "I'm sorry, but my son is going to hurt you all the way". Instead, you can say, "This is my son's first flight; he's very curious, but he's also a little nervous."
Part 3 of 3: Deal with the Child's Fear of Flying
Step 1. Find out if you have general or specific anxiety problems
It is not easy to pinpoint one's fears and anxieties, especially for children. The source of the phobia, the time, the place and the way it occurs are not always related. For example, the fear of flying may have roots in another that is not directly related, but which occurs in that situation.
If your child has a general anxiety problem that arises in other situations, such as at school, in relationships with other people, etc., you should address it more broadly than preparing them for a flight. Talk to your pediatrician or cognitive behavioral therapy specialist to find out the best treatment options
Step 2. Value your child's fear of flying; don't ignore it and never belittle it
If you ignore your baby's fears and wait for them to fade with age, they are more likely to get worse. Likewise, telling him that "Big kids don't care about things like that" would only make things worse, adding another level of anxiety. Try to be compassionate, understanding, and actively help him overcome his phobias.
Fears don't have to be rational to be real. Value your child's anxiety by accepting and addressing it, even if its basis is irrational. Don't say it's "silly" or "childish" to be afraid of flying; instead it explains what you can do together to overcome this phobia
Step 3. Find and use other resources
If your child's fear of flying is severe or has been going on for a long time, consider seeking professional help. Seek out a child psychologist who has experience in treating children's phobias and the fear of flying in particular, if possible. Without a doubt this is a good investment if it will offer your child a life of panic-free flights (and ease your parenting anxiety at the same time).
- Tranquilizers are an option for children who are very afraid of flying. Discuss the matter with your child's pediatrician.
- However, anxiety medications in some cases simply mask the problem that may worsen over time (imagine covering a wound without cleaning it first). In most cases, medications shouldn't be the first solution to try; try gradual desensitization and other techniques first.
